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You and time
He had no idea what he did to you, how he broke your heart, but not the normal breaking heart that you had before or you will have , or those you see in movies. the pain that you can feel in your heart, the physical one, you can feel your heart hurt's and the worst part that you admit that he hurt's you but you can't help yourself, you just keep feeling that pain and cry every night in your bed, think about him, what he is doing right now, who he is doing and cry and cry and you promise yourself you won't cry about him again, you try to sleep whit tears in your pillow and red eyes. you dream about him, it's like you brain trying to punish you for loving hi, and you wake up, you can't decide if it's a sweet dream because you tatched him, you saw he's face, you kissed him .... one more time, or it's a nightmare because it's all in your head and it won't happened again in the real life.
You and him it's just in your head, in your dreams, in your day dreams when you are alone and you think about you too and feel sorry for yourself but you can't stop, you start the day thinking about him and it's all over again every day and night, until you accept it, and then you think less about him every day less and less. You feel strange the day that you wake up, when you haven' t dreamed about him, you feel guilty not to, you think again about him, you try to have dreams about him, all your life turn around him. After all the heart want what it wants'. He is just under your skin.
When the pain ends, you think you did it, you beat him, he's out of your life. BOOM, like magic you see him again, for real this time. H e smile's at you, he hugs you, he tell you that he miss you, that you are special, that he can't forget about you, and he kisses you. He just mad your dreams come true, all your dreams finally coming true . But he can't be with you, in that moment you can't feel anything around you, you can't hear any voice, you can't see. the only thing that you can think about and feel is your heart getting broken, bang bang your heart break in a thousand pieces, you can literally feel the pain. You want to cry, but you too proud, you can't let him see your tears, you just smile and make him belie that you too you don't want to be with him, that you just miss his kisses and that's all. you go back to you bed with a broken heart, but this time, he hit it harder, he just can't let you live in peace.
It's starts all over again, you can't sleep, you can't eat, work, even getting dressed.... everything became harder to do, you can't even wash your face without thinking about him, he found he's way back to your head, to your dreams. You think you are strange like the first time, you can forget about him, it work's for a day or too and you hear your song, he is her again flowing you like your shadow. After many weeks and things you did to forget him: seeing other guys, flirt, getting drink. One night you had too many drinks you decide to write him a rude message, to say what exactly you think about him, you didn't know at that moment that he have some rude things to say about you. that's it when you got sober and you knew, you can't allowed to yourself to think about him again, it's the end. He is out of your life for good. congratulation!
You did it, but you know that you still think about him some times, but it's okay. Thinking about him this time can't get you killed like before, he is just someone you used to love. It's feels great, you feel great.
You decide to get to know other guys, you didn't knew that, that is the hardest part in moving on, you start to compare every single word the new one says with he's words. you thing that he is the best no one is like, no one will be. But every time you talk to someone new, you catch a lie that he use to tell you, and you laugh about how naive you was. You couldn't trust anyone else, you gave him all your trust . you never saw he's flaws you used to see him a hero but with every single day passes, you knew that you are better off without him. What can you do now? How can you fixe yourself? How can you help yourself? No one can help you, no one can fix you, you only can fix yourself, you only can help yourself . You only can trust you. Only you can help you to get yourself together, to fix your heart, to out the pieces together. Now you get it it's all in your hand, it's all about you and time. You only need yourself and time. Time can change your nightmares into sweet dreams, time can make you smile again, it can help you to get your old you back but much stronger and happier. You can be happy again, you can trust again, you can love again. You knew that because even if you may get your heart break again you know you can fix yourself, you have all the knowledge and the tools you need to do it all over again. Just you need to give yourself time, and you can achieve miracles, you
know that. You only need time, yourself. Drink and dance but don't send rude message you may regret later.
The more important thing that that's (YOU) it's me and (HIM) he is just under my skin wishing to forget him one day, but until then I'm enjoying the ride to happiness. Wiem.
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