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Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, 1920-04-07

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33 pages
The Project Gutenberg eBook, Punch, or the LondonCharivari, Vol. 158, April 7, 1920, by Various, Editedby Owen SeamanThis eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and withalmost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away orre-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License includedwith this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.orgTitle: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, April 7, 1920Author: VariousEditor: Owen SeamanRelease Date: October 6, 2007 [eBook #22905]Language: EnglishCharacter set encoding: ISO-8859-1***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, VOL. 158, APRIL7, 1920*** E-text prepared by Matt Whittaker, Jonathan Ingram,and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team(http://www.pgdp.net) PUNCH,OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.VOL. 158.APRIL 7, 1920.CHARIVARIA."Do the British people," asks Mr. Blatchford, "understand the nature of the monster modern military science hascreated?" We hope to hear later what name Mr. Winston Churchill has found for Mr. Blatchford.Agitation for a Federal Divorce Law is being revived in the United States. It appears that there are still somebackward States where the expenses of a divorce suit mount up to something like ten dollars and the parties oftenhave to wait as long as three weeks before the knot is untied."It has now been decided definitely," says The Daily Express, "that Sir Auckland Geddes will leave England on April10th." ...
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This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, April 7, 1920 Author: Various Editor: Owen Seaman Release Date: October 6, 2007 [eBook #22905] Language: English Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 ***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, VOL. 158, APRIL 7, 1920***  
E-text prepared by Matt Whittaker, Jonathan Ingram, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net)
 
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
VOL. 158.
APRIL 7, 1920.
he BDo tIA."IVARHCRAure of t the natedsratdnro,d" nula Bhftcksasr. Mlpoe ",eitirp hsame at nr whlatehCruot niWsnrM .d unfos hal ilchofhctalB .rM rofer moderhe monstyrs icne nimilatteea" d? hcecrash ot raeh eW epodr. aatths ho wan mi esac traeppa t to oneyten buy g viw saehm net 
According to Mr. M. T. Simm, M.P., there are many wayside inns of a passable nature. The trouble, of course, is that so many people have a difficulty in passing them.
We understand that Mr. Justice ——'s question, "Who is Mr. Lloyd George?" has been postponed to a date to be fixed later.
"Sergeant R. Pernotte," says a student of human endeavour, "last week punched a ball for fifty hours without a break." It is presumed that the ball must have done something to annoy him.
Thirty thousand years ago, says a weekly journal, the seas around England were at a higher level than at present. It is difficult to know what can be done about it, but it is just as well that the matter should be mentioned.
A purse containing nearly a hundred pounds in treasury notes, picked up by a policeman in South Wales, has not yet been claimed. It is now thought probable that a local miner may have dropped his week's wages whilst entering his car and that his secretary has not yet called his attention to the deficit.
"The way some newsboys dodge in and out of the moving traffic is most dangerous and a serious accident is sure to result before very long," complains a writer in an evening paper. For ourselves we cannot but admire this attempt on the boys' part to make history while in the act of selling it.
A trade journal advertises a new calculating machine which will total up stupendous figures without any human help at all. A correspondent writes to say that in his house he has the identical gas meter which gave the inventor his idea.
The contemporary which refers to the discovery of a gold ring inside a cod-fish as extraordinary evidently cannot be aware that many profiteers who go in for fishing are nowadays using such articles as bait.
Dutch wasps, says a news item, are very much like British. Only the finished expert can tell the difference on being stung.
We learn from an evening paper that a large woollen warehouse in London was completely destroyed by fire the other day. We cannot understand why some people use such inflammable material for building purposes.
An old pleasure-boat proprietor at Yarmouth has stated in an interview that, although all his skiffs and dinghies are ten to fifteen years old, they are much more trustworthy than those being built at the present time. We await, fearfully, the comments of Lord Fisher.
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It is said that the Dutch are the most religious race of to-day. Of course it is well known that the Chinese pray more than the Dutch, but then nobody understands what they are saying.
The Ascot Fire Brigade went on strike last week and several important fires had to be postponed at the last moment.
The Bolsheviks, it appears, may not, after all, be as black as they are painted. It is reported that Trotsky has caused one of his Chinese guards to be executed for calling another an Irishman.
M. Loucheur suggests that France should build houses similar to those which are not being built in England.
The natives of the Andaman Islands average about seventy pounds each in weight. They are so short in stature that their feet only just reach the ground in time.
"It has now been decided definitely," saysThe Daily ExpressAuckland Geddes will leave England on April, "that Sir 10th." This disposes finally of the rumour that he intended taking it with him.
Agitation for a Federal Divorce Law is being revived in the United States. It appears that there are still some backward States where the expenses of a divorce suit mount up to something like ten dollars and the parties often have to wait as long as three weeks before the knot is untied.
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"To keep cats off the seed beds," saysHome Chat, ammonia." The old practice of burying the cat up to the neck in the seed bedding and keeping the ammonia for subsequent use is considered obsolete.
During the past year in London 2,886 persons were knocked down by horsed vehicles, as compared with 8,388 who were knocked down by motor vehicles. The popularity of the latter, it seems, is still unchallenged.
"Young lady requires daily work as Cook-general; work not objected to." Provincial Paper. Very obliging of her.
A weekly paper has an article on "Bad Manners Among Fish." We have ourselves noticed a tendency to ignore the old adage that fish, like little children, should be seen and not heard.
UNLIKELYSCENE AT THE LABOUR EXCHANGE: OUT-OF-WORK POET PASSING THE INSPIRATION TEST BEFORE ASUPERVISING OFFICIAL OF THE BOARD OF TRADE.
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