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Nuts 05/2014

76 pages
£1.95 2 - 8 May 2014 www.nuts.co.uk 93NTS14018178.pgs 25.04.2014 12:19 BLACK YELLOW MAGENTA CYAN 93NTS14018153.pgs 25.04.2014 12:04 BLACK YELLOW MAGENTA CYAN pat After ten years, 526 editions and a ton of fun, Nuts is saying ta-ra! Before we take a bow, though we’d Cheers, like to thank Dead Crow Beers, Jägermeister, Domino’s, London Speaker Hire and WKD for our send- off bash. Most of all though, we want to thank you, our readers. None of this would’ve been possible chaps! without you. We hope you enjoy our final edition. Much love, gents. It’s been a blast. Over and out. 52 TV Guide4 Nuts’ final gift to the nation! 68 Pub Ammo 6 Hippos vs crocodiles! 8 Nuts stars in the brand new Carlsberg advert! 22 Letters 56 Bedroom Babes 10 A quick word with… 58 Ten Rude Questions Arnold Schwarzenegger FEATURES 61 Ladies Confess 12 New BMW Series 7 concept 14 A quick word with… 26 The A-Z of Nuts! Sylvester Stallone 32 Nuts Man vs the stars! 16 New Russell Brand gags! 62 Mayweather and Khan34 Covers we wish we’d done! 18 Rude News 64 Kammy’s Column36 The final Nuts shoot, starring 20 “Just walking the eagle!” 66 Adam Lallanaour sexiest cover girls! rp 93NTS14018100.pgs 25.04.2014 14:08 BLACK YELLOW MAGENTA CYAN !4 odern Great! N Nuts is man Rich (and, erm, his baby closing, we wondered daughter – to be honest, she what we’d do with our didn’t help much) we arrived Nuts: a truly huge red wooden logo.
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£1.95
2  8 May 2014www.nuts.co.uk
4Nuts’ final gift to the nation! 6Hippos vs crocodiles! 8Nutsstars in the brand new Carlsberg advert! 10A quick word with… Arnold Schwarzenegger 12New BMW Series 7 concept 14A quick word with… Sylvester Stallone 16New Russell Brand gags! 18Rude News 20“Just walking the eagle!”
68Pub Ammo
22Letters FEATURES
26The AZ ofNuts! 32NutsMan vs the stars! 34
52TV Guide
56Bedroom Babes 58Ten Rude Questions 61Ladies Confess
62Mayweather and Khan 64Kammy’s Column 66Adam Lallana
Nuts: à TRuly clàssic wORk! We deliver our iconic logo to Tate Modern – the nation’s top modern art gallery!
Half an hour later, they finally released the handbrake
Now thatNutsis closing, we wondered what we’d do with our huge red wooden logo. Well, we figured that it was an iconic logo, a piece of art, and the Tate Modern is only over the road – so we wheeled it over. With a team of delivery folk, including Kammy, Lucy Collett, Danni Orsi andNuts
man Rich (and, erm, his baby daughter – to be honest, she didn’t help much) we arrived and were mobbed by tourists andNutsfans. But when we offered the Tate’s staff the logo, they turned us down! We think they didn’t have room. So, if anyone would like to give it a good home, it’s yours for the price of a van hire.
“When you said you had new jobs delivering letters…”
THE pubLIc SpEaKS! ARt LOvERS taLK tONuts!
Philbirmingham “That’s a bit harsh. I’m gutted. As a national icon, it should have pride of place.”
CoCkersPreston “It’s clearly art. I’ve been in the Tate before and it’s all nonsense. This means something to people, it isn’t just a splat of paint on the floor.”
Hollie London “Who do they think they are? I’m outraged by their lack of taste.”
lauren austraLia “This is clearly an act of discrimination about notions and representations of male genitalia.”
Gerald thought twerking would be a good distraction
TuRf waR! Hippos take on crocs like a muddy West Side Story! Generally knownas the grumpiest Ð and most dangerous Ð visitors to any African watering hole, hippos and crocs usually keep themselves to themselves. A bit like if Russia and China popped in for a Starbu
South Luangwa National Park, possibly crabby with the lizards for chowing down on one of their mates. The crocs showed a unified line of teeth and grump. And the hippos legged it, like the French in a war. Any war.
Hippo and croc facts!
 The name hippopotamus comes from the ancient Greek wordshippos, meaning horse, and potamos, meaning river. Hence, hippopotamus equals river horse.  Hippos feed at night time, with adults consuming about 40kg of grass in one sitting. Given their size, their dietary intake is actually quite little.  Crocodiles are able
TaraNuts! Goodbye messages from our celebrity chums!
“I know it’s got its knockers, but I always foundNutsa didactic and edifying publication. Good day!” Vic ReeVes
Nutsman in Carlsberg’s World Cup ad! Watch as we hang about on set – then get carted off! With the2014 FIFA World Cup kicking off on 12 June, Carlsberg have a new proEngland “Carlsberg Fan Squad” ad. In it, Ian Wright and Jeff Stelling transform a pub into the best boozer ever, complete with a wallsize TV screen, a ref who listens when you scream at him through the TV
“Anyone know if this thing’s on?”
“If Carlsberg did gurning berks in stupid hats...”
lIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION! WEvE No IdEà wHàT THIs pIECE of EqUIpmENT doEs, bUT THErE wàs à màN sTàNdINg bEHINd IT so ITs probàbLY THE CàmErà. hàNdY wHEN YoUrE fILmINg àN àdvErT!
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“Oi! Down in front!”
IN THE FINAl AdvERT! afTEr foUr HoUrs of sTàNdINg àboUT, fILmINg EvErY sHoT from EvErY CoNCEIvàbLE àNgLE, HErE wE àrE IN THE fINàL àdvErT, bEHINd THE bLokE IN THE V-NECk. BLINk àNd YoULL mIss Us!
WITH THE STARS! iàN WrIgHT, JEff STELLINg àNd PàddY MCGUINNEss sTàr IN THE àd às THE ULTImàTE fooTbàLL pUNdIT, CommENTàTor àNd bàrmàN rEspECTIvELY. WHErEs PàddY? hEs NoT HErE TodàY. DoH!
“You suck.” “No, you suck.” “No, you suck”
dONT dRINk THE BEER! DoNT bE fooLEd. tHàTs NoT àCTUàLLY càrLsbErg IN THErE. iTs à pINT of càrLsbErg wITH somE àddEd sTràNgE CHEmICàLs dEsIgNEd To kEEp à froTHY HEàd. um, CHEErs!
THATS NOT A REAl PUB! thE càrLsbErg àdvErTs sET In à fuTurIsTIC pub, spECIàLLy buILT In à fILm sTudIo In eàsT london for ThE oCCàsIon. thàTs ThE rEàL iàn WrIghT ànd JEff STELLIng Though.
THIS WAY FOR FACE PAINTING! in spITE of bEIng rEpEàTEdLy ToLd noT To bECàusE IT wouLd EffECT ConTInuITy, wE sTILL snEàk In for à ChEEky fàCE-pàInT. Sorry, SCoTLànd, ThE ST andrEws cross wàsnT àvàILàbLE.
OI! OvER HERE! tryIng To gET our fàCE In ThE fInàL àdvErT Is TrICkIEr Thàn IT Looks. thErE àrE ExTràs EvErywhErE. and àppàrEnTLy gurnIng IdIoTs donT hELp sELL bEEr. tImE To pIpE down, wErE ToLd.
GETTING ON CAMERA! SIgnIng up To bE à tV ExTrà IsnT às gLàmorous às you mày
ASkEd TO lEAvE! afTEr sIx hours on sET, ITs gEnEràLLy dECIdEd ThàT wEvE ouTsTàyEd our wELComE, ànd àrE àskEd To LEàvE. thànks, càrLsbErg! WEvE hàd à grEàT dày! anyonE fànCy à bEEr?
Hi Arnie! Tell us about your new flick, SabotageI play a DEA agent who leads a special ops team stealing millions from a Mexican drug cartel. It’s directed by David Ayer, who brings as much reality to the screen as possible. It’s very different to my Hollywood films – a lot more gritty and dark.
What kind of training did you do forSabotage? We spent three months with the LA SWAT team so on set we could work together as a believable unit. The DEA handle firearms in a unique way, so we had to nail that and the way these special ops teams storm buildings and back each other up. It’s not just good guys killing bad guys – it’s kind of like ballet, the way they move in unison.
Your character John Wharton is a tortured soul. Is it hard to go home and relax after shooting intense scenes? My character is consumed 24/7 by the fact that he’s lost his family. But hey, I’m Arnold. I just go home, work out, have dinner and prepare for the next day. It’s business.
You get busy pumping iron in the film. What’s your training regime like these days? What can you recommend? Well, it’s not a documentary about my workout routines! The ideal thing is to aim for a total body workout – squats, calfraises, the
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abdominal work, the situps, the leg raises and the shoulder, biceps and triceps exercises. It doesn’t matter what age you are, but to get that cardiovascular intensity you need to go from one exercise to the next without stopping. Reps, reps, reps… it’s all about reps!
Phew, sounds knackering! How did your costars cope with the rigours of filming? They were all tough guys. It’s not about acting ballsy or spending a year getting in shape for the role. But Sam Worthington trained like a madman! He and Joe Manganiello were the real deal and did as many of their own stunts as possible. But don’t listen to actors who say they do all of their own stunts because the fact is that no production would ever get completed with all the injuries. It was fun to be part of such a great ensemble and took me back to thePredatordays.
Do you have a lot of memorabilia from back then? I have the originalPredatormodel in my office, different Terminators and the alligator fromEraser.
Wow! And you’ve got a tank… I’m probably the only person who has an M47 Patton tank at home. I have a great time with it and use it for charity work. We just raised $1m for afterschool programmes by crushing cars!
What else is lined up for you? I didn’t plan to play Conan again, but I was honoured when Universal approached me to bring back one of the characters that made my career. I even learned to ride a horse for that movie!
And you’re going to do a film with Eddie Murphy… I’ve been chasing a sequel toTwinsfor over 20 years, so it’s really exciting to be working with Danny DeVito again and teaming up with Eddie forTriplets.
Thanks, Arnie! Finally, we’ve heard rumours about new Terminatorfilm,Genesis. Can you confirm you’ll return in righetous robotic form? I loved playing that machine. Don’t worry… I’ll be back!
 SabotageiS iN ciNEmàS EVERYWHERE fROm 7 MàY.
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