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On a Scale from Idiot to Complete Jerk

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144 pages
When grade-eight science-project time rolls around, J.J. Murphy skips the beakers and the papiermâché and dives into research about jerks. And idiots. But mostly jerks. By his own estimation, his science project, On a Scale from Idiot to Complete Jerk, is groundbreaking, exhaustive, highly scientific and seriously worthy of bonus marks. Beginning with the dawn of humankind and concluding conclusively with a very cool pie chart, the project dissects the elements of jerkosity through extensive case studies and scientific illustrations. It explores the who, what, when, why and how of jerks and, more important, peppers the lively research with sciencey-looking graphs and charts that reveal a lot about J.J., his family and friends, and the jerks of this world.
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JERKs aRE a vERy LaRgE, DiFFiCuLT gRoup To sTuDy.
ChoiCE FoR a sCiENCE pRojECT. BuT DiFFiCuLTy NEvER sToppED my sCiENTiFiC CoLLEaguEs, LiKE GaLiLEo aND iNsTEiN, FRom DisCovERiNg whaTEvER iT was ThEy opE, EvEN wiThouT GoogLE ThEy
is:
 On A ScAle frOM IdIOt tO cOMPlete Jerk
A L i soN Hu ghE s
On A ScAle frOM IdIOt tO cOMPlete Jer k
A HighLy SCiENTiFiC STuDy oF ANNoyiNg BEhavioR SCiENCE PRojECT by J.J. MuRphy *
*wiTh ALisoN HughEs
On A ScAle frOM IdIOt tO cOMPlete Jerk
A Hîgy Scîenîic Sudy o Annoyîng Beaîor Scîence Projec by J.J. Murpy*
*wiTh ALisoN HughEs
Copyright ©2014Alison Hughes
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system now known or to be invented, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Hughes, Alison, 1966, author  On a scale from idiot to complete jerk / Alison Hughes.
Issued in print and electronic formats. isbn 9781459804845(pbk.).isbn 9781459804852 (pdf). isbn 9781459804869 (epub)
I. Title. ps8615.u3165o5 2014 jc813’.6 c20139066489 c20139066497
First published in the United States,2014 Library of Congress Control Number:2013954114
Summary: J.J.’s science report has everything: graphs, charts, case studies, a quiz and the best subject matter of all time—jerks (and a few idiots).
Orca Book Publishers gratefully acknowledges the support for its publishing programs provided by the following agencies: the Government of Canada through the Canada Book Fund and the Canada Council for the Arts, and the Province of British Columbia through the BC Arts Council and the Book Publishing Tax Credit.
Design and illustrations by Jenn Playford Cover image by Dreamstime; Cover illustrations by Jenn Playford Author photo by Barbara Heintzman
orca book publishers po Box 5626,Stn. B Victoria,bc CanadaV8R 6S4
orca book publishers po Box 468 Custer,wa usa 982400468
www.orcabook.com
171615144321
to M, FoR EvERyThiNg. AND To Gig, FoR somEhow maKiNg us LovE him DEspiTE bEiNg a biT oF a jERK.
On a Scale from Idîot to Complete Jerk A Hîgy Scîenîic Sudy o Annoyîng Beaîor
Scîence Projec byJ.J. Murpy
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chapTER 1:he Dawn of te Jerk
chapTER 2:A Long Hîstory of Jerks
chapTER 3:Organîzatîon, te Scîencey Way, Lame Deinîtîons and te Fîrst Two of Many Scîentîic Illustratîons A) Organîzaîon B) he Scîencey Way C) Lame Deinîîons 1) Scîenîic Iusraîon #1: he Pases o a Jerk’s Beaîor D) A Jerk by Any Oer Name: A Noe on Language E) A Truy Scîenîic Anaysîs 1) Scîenîic Iusraîon #2: On a Scae rom Idîo o Compee Jerk
chapTER 4:Can Young Cîldren Be Jerks? A) Case Sudy #1: he Cranky Todders and e Bîg Pasîc Car B) Case Sudy #2: Mayem în e Mudroom 1) Scîenîic Iusraîon #3: he Pa o Compee Jerkdom
chapTER 5:Can Really, Really Old People Be Jerks? A) Case Sudy #3: he Nursîng Home Many Man
chapTER 6:Jerks în te Famîly A) Case Sudy #4: Rebecca’s Conusîng and Aarmîng Famîy 1) Scîenîic Iusraîon #4: Rebecca’s Famîy Tree
chapTER 7:Jerks în Sports A) Payers B) Coaces C) Fans 1) Case Sudy #5: he Fan Wo Cos Us e Game D) Reerees
chapTER 8:Jerks în a Crîsîs A) Case Sudy #6: he Fîre-Drî Drama B) Case Sudy #7: Sanjî’s Hîdeous Injury
chapTER 9:Jerks at Scool A) Sudens 1) Case Sudy #8: he Arc o Jerkîs Beaîor (a) Scîenîic Iusraîon #5: Be Grap o a Jerk
2) Case Sudy #9: Grapîng Soo Jerks and Groups o Jerks (a) Scîenîic Iusraîon #6: Grapîng How Jerks Respond o Jerkîs Eens (b) Scîenîic Iusraîon #7: Quadrans o Jerkîs Beaîor B) Teacers and Prîncîpas 1) Teacers (a) Scîenîic Iusraîon #8: Raîng Annoyîng Teacer Beaîor 2) Prîncîpas
chapTER 10:Mîscellaneous Jerks A) Nurses B) Docors and Denîss C) Bus Drîers D) Sore Cerks E) Neîgbors F) Serers G) Inerne Tros
chapTER 11:Once a Jerk, Always a Jerk? A) Case Sudy #10: Inerîew wî a Former Jerk (My Unce Dae)