Insight Out

Vann Joines

Description

Why do individuals and couples have such a difficult time understanding one another and getting along? Insight Out provides both the answer and the solution: 1) We have different Personality Adaptations, 2) We live in different worlds, 3) We think there is only one reality, and 4) We often hear other’s requests as criticism of ourselves. By understanding how we adapt in childhood to survive traumatic experiences and meet the expectations of those around us, we can discover how to change those adaptations now in order to create the life and relationships we most desire. Insight Out allows readers to discover their personality type and those of their family members and significant others and its impact on their relationships.

We are born helpless and powerless into a vast, mysterious, and often threatening world. Struggling to survive, we grope for ways to adapt to our surroundings. But with little knowledge and less power to manage our environment, we are likely to come up with primitive, imperfect responses to life’s stresses. Our childhood strategies, disguised as adult behavior, trail us throughout our lives, snowballing into an amalgam of unhappy relationships, short-circuited careers, and unfulfilled dreams. These tactics don’t work very well in adult life, but they are often all we know. Unless we learn more effective strategies, we’re headed for trouble.

Insight Out is about developing both an awareness of our maladaptive strategies and the emotional intelligence to change them. Insight Out offers a step-by-step program for changing our ineffective operating strategies into ones that allow us to become who we were meant to be.

Insight Out shows readers that they already have everything they need “inside.” Now, finally, with a book that merges clear theory with effective tools, readers will be able to cultivate their strengths in ways that change their lives on the outside.

There are six core personality adaptations, three that were developed for survival and three that were developed to perform in a way that met our caretakers’ expectations. Each personality adaptation has its own unique area (feeling, thinking, or behavior) for making contact with the world, an area that produces the most growth and change, and an area where individuals have the greatest defenses. Knowing this information allows us to relate to others in a way that quickly establishes rapport, produces mutual problem-solving, and avoids getting trapped in the other person’s defenses.

There is also a section on how to use a questionnaire that Dr. Joines has developed to access the adaptations, use the resulting profiles to determine what a couple’s relationship will look like, and use that information to make the positive changes they desire.

Insight Out looks in depth at how and why the adaptations develop, how they relate to other people and to problem-solving, and the positive and negative behaviors of each adaptation. The book is packed with engaging examples and vignettes as well as self-help exercises to assist readers in making desired changes. It makes explicit how the way we have adapted affects how we experience the world and perform in it. The insights available in this book enable us to know ourselves fully, to become the best that we can be, and to transform our relationships. “Few books give readers so much information to understand themselves and those they love. This book is a relationship treasure." Ellyn Bader, Ph.D., Co-Director of the Couples Institute.

Sujets

• Santé et bien-être
• Développement personnel
• développement personnel
• Success
• Self-help
• Personal Growth

Informations

• Publié par: Outskirts Press
• Date de parution: 28 novembre 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 1
• EAN13: 9781977260093
• Langue: English

Extrait

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Advanced Praise for Insight Out:
"In this beautifully written book, Vann Joines makes the complexity of the human personality and our relationships so clear and simple. His development of Personality Adaptations theory, based on Transactional Analysis, and his extensive experience as a psychotherapist, trainer, and teacher, give well researched insight into our earliest needs, strategies, and adaptations to survive. He shows, with engaging illustrations and examples, how each of us develops combinations of personality adaptations, how we relate to others and their personality adaptations, and how this affects how we experience and perform in the world. The insights available in this book enable us to know more of who we are, how to be the best that we can be, how to understand and transform our relationships, and how to co-create our lives with our partners so that we live with more success and vitality."
Adrienne Lee, Certified Teaching and Supervising Transactional Analyst; Director of The Berne Institute for Transactional Analysis, UK
"After many years of writing for psychotherapists and counsellors, Vann Joines draws on a lifetime of helping others to offer here a book for the lay reader, in which he describes how a combination of temperament, family, childhood and other lifelong influences shape us and make us the person we are.
If you like taxonomies (‘sorting into piles’!), you will love this well-written and thoughtful book. Joines describes how aspects of six basic ways of adapting to the world combine in individuals to create different personality types with characteristic ways of feeling, thinking and behaving. He describes their strengths and weaknesses, their patterns and preferences and, importantly, how they can live more fulfilled lives by maximizing their qualities and avoiding their pitfalls – especially in their relationships. There are chapters on understanding couple relationships and also on enhancing one’s own life.
Joines has a real talent for describing complex ideas and processes in an accessible and engaging way. The book is packed with examples and vignettes as well as some self-help exercises, and the personalities are analyzed incisively and yet with such compassion and naturalness that you never have to start feeling ashamed of your failings!
It would be a help if the reader has a grounding in transactional analysis, but if not, they should start with the Appendix where the author provides a very succinct overview of the major concepts."
Charlotte Sills, Certified Teaching and Supervising Transactional Analyst Professor of Coaching, Ashridge Business School. Psychotherapist and supervisor in private practice, UK; Co-Author of Transactional Analysi: A Relational Perspective, Routledge, 2002
"In this informative book Vann Joines vividly portrays six personality adaptations that describe how individuals manage their lives. In non-pathologizing descriptions the author presents several stimulating examples of how people have used the concept of "Personality Adaptations" to change their behaviors and improve relationships. The book amalgamates a number of Transactional Analysis concepts into an effective model that can be used by every person to transform how they problem solve and engage in relationships."
Richard Erskine, Ph.D., Certified Teaching and Supervising Transactional Analyst and Licensed Psychoanalyst; Training Director of the Institute for Integrative Psychotherapy, Vancouver, Canada; Author of A Healing Relationship: Commentary on Therapeutic Dialogues, Phoenix Publishing House, 2021
By the same author:
TA Today: A New Introduction to Transactional Analysis, Second Edition by Ian Stewart and Vann Joines (Lifespace Publishing, Nottingham and Chapel Hill, 1987, 2012)
Personality Adaptations: A New Guide to Human Understanding in Psychotherapy and Counseling by Vann Joines and Ian Stewart (Lifespace Publishing, Nottingham and Chapel Hill, 2002)
The Joines Personality Adaptations Questionnaire by Vann Joines (Southeast Institute for Group and Family Therapy, Chapel Hill, 2002)
The JPAQ Adminstrative, Scoring, and Interpretive Kit by Vann Joines (Southeast Institute for Group and Family Therapy, Chapel Hill, 2002)

Insight Out The 6 Personality Types that Hold the Key to Success in Your Life and Relationships All Rights Reserved. Copyright © 2023 Vann Joines, Ph.D. v5.0
The opinions expressed in this manuscript are solely the opinions of the author and do not represent the opinions or thoughts of the publisher. The author has represented and warranted full ownership and/or legal right to publish all the materials in this book.
This book may not be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in whole or in part by any means, including graphic, electronic, or mechanical without the express written consent of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
Outskirts Press, Inc. http://www.outskirtspress.com
ISBN: 978-1-9772-6009-3
Library of Congress Control Number: 2022906254
Cover Photo © 2023 www.gettyimages.com . All rights reserved - used with permission.
Outskirts Press and the "OP" logo are trademarks belonging to Outskirts Press, Inc.
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
To my wife, Chellie, who has taught me so much about successful relationships.
Acknowledgements:
I WANT TO thank my mentors Robert L. Goulding, MD and Mary M. Goulding, MSW who taught me how psychotherapy and personal change can be fun and exciting. I also want to thank Paul Ware, MD for originating the idea of personality adaptations and Taibi Kahler, Ph.D. for his many insights and contributions to the theory. I further want to thank my many clients, students, supervisees, and family who helped me discover so much about how people adapt. A very special thanks also goes to David Payne, Chellie Joines, Jessica D’Andrea, Jonathan Joines, Vann H. Joines, Adam Joines, Brittany Coleman, Rachel Gorman, Alison Sanderson, Dana Nelson and the other staff at Outskirts Press for all their help in bringing this book to publication.
Table of Contents
Part I Adaptation
Introduction
Chapter 1 – We Have Difficulty Understanding Each Other
We Have Different Personality Adaptations
We Don’t Live in the Same World
We Think There is Only One Reality
We Often Hear Other’s Requests as Criticism of Ourselves
Chapter 2 – The Personality Adaptation Model
Key Ideas of This Model
Adaptations Versus Disorders
Descriptive Features of the Six Adaptations
Chapter 3 – How the Adaptations Develop
Surviving Strategies
Underdone Parenting
Overdone Parenting
Inconsistent Parenting
Performing Strategies
Overcontrolling Parenting
Parenting that Overemphasizes Conformity and Achievement
Parenting that Overemphasizes Pleasing Others
Chapter 4 – The Assessing Matrix and How the Personality Adaptations Function in Relation to Other People and to Problem-Solving
Exercise
 
Part II The Personality Adaptations in Depth
Chapter 5 – The Creative Daydreamer
Meet John
General Description
Childhood Development, Parenting Style, and Early Messages
The Creative-Daydreamer on the Assessing Matrix
Personality Structure
Rackets and Games
Scripts
Contact Doors
How Best to Interact with a Creative Daydreamer
A Creative Daydreamer and Their Relationships
Relationship with Other Adaptations
Chapter 6 – The Charming Manipulator
Meet Crystal
General Description
Childhood Development, Parenting Style, and Early Messages
The Charming Manipulator on the Assessing Matrix
Personality Structure
Rackets and Games
Script
Contact Doors
How Best to Interact with a Charming Manipulator
A Charming Manipulator and Their Relationships
Relationship with Other Adaptations
Chapter 7 – The Brilliant Skeptic
Meet Natalie
General Description
Childhood Development, Parenting Style, and Early Messages
The Brilliant Skeptic on the Assessing Matrix
Personality Structure
Rackets and Games
Script
Contact Doors
How to Best Interact with a Brilliant Skeptic
A Brilliant Skeptic and Their Relationships
Relationship with Other Adaptations
Chapter 8 – The Playful Resister
Meet Ravi
General Description
Childhood Development, Parenting Style, and Early Messages
The Playful Resister on the Assessing Matrix
Personality Structure
Rackets and Games
Script
Contact Doors
How Best to Interact with a Playful Resister
A Playful Resister and Their Relationships
Relationship with Other Adaptations
Chapter 9 – The Responsible Workaholic
Meet Jamal
General Description
Childhood Development, Parenting Style, and Early Messages
The Responsible Workaholic on the Assessing Matrix
Personality Structure
Rackets and Games
Script
Contact Doors
How Best to Interact with a Responsible Workaholic
A Responsible Workaholic and Their Relationships
Relationship with Other Adaptations
Chapter 10 – The Enthusiastic-Overreactor
Meet Anisha
General Description
Childhood Development, Parenting Style and Early Messages
The Enthusiastic-Overreactor on The Assessing Matrix
Personality Structure
Rackets and Games
Script
Contact Doors
How to Best Interact with an Enthusiastic Overreactor
An Enthusiastic Overreactor and Their Relationships
Relationship with Other Adaptations
Chapter 11 – Barely Surviving, Doggedly Surviving, or Fully Thriving?
Chapter 12 – Combinations of Adaptations
Creative Daydreamer and Enthusiastic Overreactor
Creative Daydreamer and Responsible Workaholic
Creative Daydreamer and Brilliant Skeptic
Creative Daydreamer and Playful Resister
Creative Daydreamer and Charming Manipulator
Charming Manipulator and Enthusiastic Overreactor
Charming Manipulator and Responsible Workaholic
Charming Manipulator and Brilliant Skeptic
Charming Manipulator and Playful Resister
Brilliant Skeptic and Enthusiastic Overreactor
Brilliant Skeptic and