Summary of Randy J. Paterson's The Assertiveness Workbook

Everest Media

Description

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.
Sample Book Insights:
#1 Assertiveness is about being there, not about building a good disguise. It is about developing the courage to take the disguise off and be yourself in a way that doesn’t push others off-stage.
#2 Assertiveness is all about being there. It is about exposing your flaws, irrational emotions, and strange preferences to others. It is not about forcing others to accept you, but about inviting them to accept you as well.
#3 If you are looking for a way to be more assertive, realize that you will have to put in the time and effort to change your behavior. It may be difficult, but it will be worth it in the long run.
#4 Record your practice sessions and play them back. Then you can evaluate your style. This is easier than trying to express yourself and evaluate your performance at the same time.

Sujets

• Santé et bien-être
• Relations interpersonnelles
• Relation interpersonnelle

Informations

• Publié par: Everest Media LLC
• Date de parution: 26 mars 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781669365488
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Insights on Randy J. Paterson's The Assertiveness Workbook
Contents Insights from Chapter 1 Insights from Chapter 2 Insights from Chapter 3 Insights from Chapter 4 Insights from Chapter 5 Insights from Chapter 6 Insights from Chapter 7 Insights from Chapter 8 Insights from Chapter 9 Insights from Chapter 10 Insights from Chapter 11 Insights from Chapter 12 Insights from Chapter 13 Insights from Chapter 14 Insights from Chapter 15 Insights from Chapter 16 Insights from Chapter 17
Insights from Chapter 1

#1

assertiveness is about being there, not about building a good disguise. It is about developing the courage to take the disguise off and be yourself in a way that doesn’t push others off-stage.

#2

Assertiveness is all about being there. It is about exposing your flaws, irrational emotions, and strange preferences to others. It is not about forcing others to accept you, but about inviting them to accept you as well.

#3

If you are looking for a way to be more assertive, realize that you will have to put in the time and effort to change your behavior. It may be difficult, but it will be worth it in the long run.

#4

Record your practice sessions and play them back. Then you can evaluate your style. This is easier than trying to express yourself and evaluate your performance at the same time.

#5

If violence is a part of your relationship, do not consider this book as the solution. Instead, seek help from a counselor. The Assertiveness Workbook may be inappropriate for violent relationships because it encourages you to deal with troublesome situations directly and assertively, which may lead to violence if someone close to you is violent.

#6

Part One, entitled Understanding Assertiveness, covers the four primary communication styles: assertive, passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive. It also discusses the barriers to assertive behavior.

#7

The book covers the essential relationship skills of being present with others, providing and receiving feedback, and dealing with conflict. It provides a ten-step preparation strategy that considers issues such as defining the real problem, envisioning your goal, and assessing your own responsibilities.
Insights from Chapter 2

#1

There are four types of communication: the assertive, passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive. Each is used for a variety of reasons. The assertive style is the most effective, but most people do not use it as often as they could.

#2

The passive style is when we give control over our lives to other people, even when we don’t want to. It is a form of submission to others. The passive style often results from a belief that we are not allowed to behave any other way.

#3

The assertive style is useful in many situations. It is, however, difficult to imagine what it would be like if assertiveness were not an option. The passive style can be useful at times, but it generally leads to misery.

#4

The aggressive style is the flip side of the passive style. Instead of submitting to others, we try to get others to submit to us. We are dominant wolves, bending others to our will. However, our behavior is usually ineffective for achieving our goals in the long run.

#5

Mike grew up with an aggressive father and a passive mother. He was determined to avoid feeling powerless, so he would always be on the defensive. He would feel anxious whenever anyone had any kind of power over him, and he would defend himself with rage.

#6

The passive-aggressive style is based on a misperception: the belief that there are no consequences of deniable aggression. But there are. Eventually others begin to view us as unreliable, irresponsible, disorganized, or inconsiderate.

#7

The passive-aggressive style is typically developed by someone who has experienced both the passive and aggressive styles. They experience significant anger and a desire for control, but they fear the consequences of expressing themselves directly.

#8

Assertiveness is not a strategy for getting your own way. It is a method of dealing with others that allows you to acknowledge your own thoughts and desires honestly, without expecting others to automatically comply with you.

#9

The assertive style is distinct from the passive and aggressive styles, but it is also related to them. It is the most effective combination of those two.

#10

The passive-aggressive style involves being both passive and aggressive at the same time.