Summary of Terri Cole's Boundary Boss

Everest Media

Description

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.
Sample Book Insights:
#1 Wherever you are in your life, you have choices. You can choose to ask for or allow others to help you with things, or you can choose to overextend yourself to keep the good graces of others.
#2 Boundary issues are extremely common, and they typically come from bad boundaries. Bad boundaries are exhausting. They create dramas that suck our time and energy. To stop these distractions, we have to go back to our earliest influences and examine how those influences led to these unhealthy boundaries.
#3 In my family, it was clear that my parents had an unspoken agreement about how each would operate: my father was the breadwinner, and my mother was the nurturer and family manager. I learned to avoid conflict and anger by reading people and scanning situations.
#4 I grew up in a household where my four sisters and I acted out our repressed anger by door slamming, shit talking, and occasionally fighting. I learned to bury my true feelings and adapt them into more allowable ones.

Sujets

• Santé et bien-être
• Développement personnel
• développement personnel
• Personal development
• Général

Informations

• Publié par: Everest Media LLC
• Date de parution: 21 mars 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781669356554
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Insights on Terri Cole's Boundary Boss
Contents Insights from Chapter 1 Insights from Chapter 2
Insights from Chapter 1

#1

Wherever you are in your life, you have choices. You can choose to ask for or allow others to help you with things, or you can choose to overextend yourself to keep the good graces of others.

#2

Boundary issues are extremely common, and they typically come from bad boundaries. Bad boundaries are exhausting. They create dramas that suck our time and energy. To stop these distractions, we have to go back to our earliest influences and examine how those influences led to these unhealthy boundaries.

#3

In my family, it was clear that my parents had an unspoken agreement about how each would operate: my father was the breadwinner, and my mother was the nurturer and family manager. I learned to avoid conflict and anger by reading people and scanning situations.

#4

I grew up in a household where my four sisters and I acted out our repressed anger by door slamming, shit talking, and occasionally fighting. I learned to bury my true feelings and adapt them into more allowable ones.

#5

In adulthood, I became a master of indirect communication, using sarcasm, eye-rolling, and the occasional hostile lie. I also became skilled at covert manipulation, meaning those I was manipulating never realized I had my own secret agenda operating behind my it’s-all-good facade.

#6

I began to examine how I related to myself, and I realized that I had never had a healthy internal boundary before. I had always been able to listen to my needs, but not to others’. I realized that to create healthy boundaries in any other relationship, I needed to be a master of my internal boundaries and my relationship with myself.

#7

As you progress in your recovery, you learn to assert your own limits and boundaries, and not let others push you around. You learn to recognize that you have a fuller range of choices than you have realized or exercised until now.

#8

It can be difficult to change your boundaries, but it is possible. It all comes down to consciousness. You can’t heal what you don’t know about.

#9

The Boundary Boss journey requires some heavy emotional lifting, so make sure you are prepared for it. If you tend toward over-achieving or perfectionism, do not apply that same hyper-capable approach here.

#10

Healthy boundaries are generous and efficient. They allow you to spend time on things that are more important to you, such as doing Zumba, learning pottery, or studying quantum physics.

#11

Your very first exercise is to set up your sacred space to use throughout the book and beyond to meditate, rest, journal, and complete your integration exercises. This is your first BB act of radical self-care.

#12

I knew that Jules had grown up in a chaotic family fueled by addiction, poverty, and abuse. She didn’t even know she had a right to her own toothbrush, but she wanted one.

#13

To better understand your boundary baseline, answer the following questions: Does attempting to draw boundaries by speaking up create feelings of anxiety or dread for you. When you are paying for a service, do you avoid telling people if you’re unsatisfied. Do you tend to ignore your preferences or needs for too long and then explode in frustration.

#14

Personal boundaries are like a guidebook that you create to clearly identify permissible ways that other people may behave toward you. They protect you from emotional harm and keep your personal dignity intact.

#15

Boundaries are a person’s most basic and fundamental rights. They come in five general categories: physical, sexual, material, mental, and emotional. You alone are responsible for your feelings, just as others are responsible for theirs.

#16

If you have too rigid boundaries, you may not ask for help when you need it, avoid close relationships to minimize rejection, and be perceived by others as detached or cold.

#17

The different boundaries that need your attention are physical, sexual, material, mental, and emotional. Within these categories, your boundaries may be rigid, porous, or healthy.

#18

Jules’s boundaries were too flexible, and this sometimes manifested as her being indecisive and stuck in terrible situations long past their expiration date. She had a misguided sense of loyalty, even to those who didn’t deserve it.

#19

To better understand personal boundaries, we must recognize that they are shaped by our history of oppression as women.