Bagpipes, Planes, and Strings

Susanne Kessaris

Description

Author Susanne Kessaris knew from the miraculous births of her children that God was speaking to her early on about letting go, but like most parents, she wanted to cling tightly and was not prepared for the day they grew up. In Bagpipes, Planes, and Strings, she talks about how she fought to surrender to Gods will through a series of events.First, she had a scary ordeal with skin cancer. A few short years later, she found herself facing an emergency hysterectomy. Next, she struggled to release her daughter to pursue a calling to go on a mission in South America. She later lost her father to congestive heart failure. When her family decided to sell their house and move, she was finally willing to let go and realize that God had strengthened her to face her life challenges one step at a time.Bagpipes, Planes, and Strings refers to sounds that will forever stir Susannes soul and remind her of each of her painful journeys of letting go. Her inspiring story of grace and faith challenges you to embrace God, the only constant you have when your world is falling apart around you and the future seems hopeless and out of reach.

Sujets

• Lettres et linguistique

Informations

• Publié par: Inspiring Voices
• Date de parution: 07 mai 2013
• Nombre de lectures: 1
• EAN13: 9781462405527
• Langue: English

Extrait

Bagpipes, Planes, and Strings
 
 
A Woman’s Journey in Letting Go
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Susanne Kessaris
 
 
 


 
Copyright © 2013 Susanne Kessaris.
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
 
Inspiring Voices books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:
 
Inspiring Voices
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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
 
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
 
ISBN: 978-1-4624-0553-4 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4624-0552-7 (e)
 
Library of Congress Control Number: 2013903613
 
 
Inspiring Voices rev. date: 5/1/2013
Table Of Contents
Dedication
Preface
 
Chapter 1:It Started at Birth
Chapter 2:The Lord Taketh Away, and the Lord Giveth
Chapter 3:Early Memories of My Children
Chapter 4:First Words and Funny “Isms”
Chapter 5:Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star
Chapter 6:Memories with Friends
Chapter 7:Amanda Played Sports
Chapter 8:Our Friendly Son
Chapter 9:Boots
Chapter 10:Favorite Toys
Chapter 11:Not Afraid to Fly
Chapter 12:Beautiful Feet
Chapter 13:Family Vacations
Chapter 14:Our Outdoorsy Girl
Chapter 15:Letting Our Children Drive
Chapter 16:Amanda’s High School Graduation
Chapter 17:College Day Blues
Chapter 18:My Health Crisis
Chapter 19:The Health Crisis Was Not Over
Chapter 20:My Hysterectomy
Chapter 21:My Search for Significance
Chapter 22:More Graduations
Chapter 23:She Flies
Chapter 24:College Day Blues Revisited
Chapter 25:The Longest Five Months of My Life So Far
Chapter 26:Filling My Days to Pass the Time
Chapter 27:Wisdom Teeth Extraction
Chapter 28:A Daughter’s Journey in Letting Go—Part 1
Chapter 29:A Daughter’s Journey—Part 2
Chapter 30:A Daughter’s Journey—Part 3
Chapter 31:A Daughter’s Journey—Part 4
Chapter 32:A Daughter’s Journey—Part 5
Chapter 33:I Didn’t Want to Say Good-Bye
Chapter 34:Dad’s Funeral
Chapter 35:The Memorial Service

Dedication
I dedicate this book to my parents, who showed me how to love my own children; to my husband, who encouraged me to write down my thoughts, though they were painful; and to my children, who brought me joy in the journey.

Preface
I am writing this book in the hope that somehow what I have experienced might be an encouragement to someone else going through the painful process of letting go.
This will be helpful to me as well in the healing process, as I have found that writing is a great way to pour your heart out in prayer and find the peace that God can give. May this be a resource for others as well to share in their grief, and thus we may encourage each other. Some names of people and places have been changed to protect their privacy.

Chapter 1
It Started at Birth

Ken and Baby Amanda
I guess I can say that I had to begin the process of letting go of my daughter on the day she was born. She was two and one-half weeks premature, and so on the day she was born, she had undeveloped lungs. When she was born, she was placed on my stomach for only a brief moment for me to bond, and then she was whisked away for them to work on her to clear her breathing passage and make sure she was breathing correctly. It was a scary moment, but I could only trust in the doctors’ abilities to take care of my precious firstborn baby girl. I was stuck to my bed with an IV in my forearm and was being monitored closely since I had toxemia (high blood pressure) at the time of delivery. I could not go to the special intensive care unit for infants since I was confined to my bed.
I was in an out of consciousness for several hours from the exhaustion of labor, which had occurred around 5:00 p.m. on that December day with snow flurries. The next morning, bright and early, I remember longing to see my new baby. My husband came in to see me and had been to the nursery, where my daughter was to be in an incubator for several more hours. He said that he had gotten to hold her and had already bonded with her.
When the nurses finally brought her in to see me, I was beginning to get upset. Finally, after twelve long hours, I could hold her and begin to bond with her. It seemed like an eternity. I remember those first moments being so precious. She was so tiny but was very alert and looked at me intensely as if to take everything in and take the world on from day one. I didn’t want to ever be separated from her again, but in those first moments, I felt the Lord saying “Don’t hold on too tightly. Enjoy her, but always remember that she is yours for only awhile.”

Baby Amanda and I

Chapter 2
The Lord Taketh Away, and the Lord Giveth

Nina Mama Kessaris and her new grandson, Ethan
I n March 1990, my husband, Ken lost his father. He passed away suddenly from congestive heart failure. He had a serious heart attack while in his late forties and a mild stroke several years before he died but otherwise had been in fairly good health, so it was a huge shock to lose him. We had moved from Augusta, Georgia, to Rock Hill, South Carolina, several months before, so it was good to be closer to home in Charlotte so that we could be near Ken’s mom and sister afterward. Ken took his father’s passing very hard. The grief was intense for several weeks, but God provided an unexpected blessing to help ease the pain. I found out in April that I was pregnant with our second child. Somewhere near the time of the death of Ken’s father, Ethan had been conceived, so God had given, though he had taken away. Everything surrounding Ethan’s birth was like a miracle. We had tried unsuccessfully to get pregnant for about two years since Amanda was born. I had even gone to fertility doctors in Augusta, and then in Charlotte when we moved to Rock Hill. A doctor in Charlotte had given me one dose of fertility drugs as an experiment. Evidently that was all I had needed to boost my system.
Ken had begun working for the zoning department in Rock Hill after having had a job phased out at the planning department in Augusta. However, after only a couple of months on the job, it was apparent that things were not working out there either.
We had just bought a house in Rock Hill after having rented for a year in Augusta. Ken lost his job in the spring. He went through an intense time of soul-searching to decide what to do. He began to inquire about real estate appraising, since he had worked in real estate sales earlier in our marriage. God directed him to speak to a local appraiser in the area, who was willing to hire Ken as an apprentice and who saw Ken’s planning/zoning background as an excellent foundation for appraising. Ken had to go to Tallahassee, Florida, for two weeks to train to be an appraiser. Then he began working as an apprentice late in the summer. He had to do a lot of appraisals at a small-percentage commission before he could become a full-fledged appraiser. Those were very lean months, but somehow we squeaked by.
Christmastime came. Ethan was not due until around the fifth of January. Mom and Dad came to our house for Christmas and brought Amanda a life-sized baby doll (the doll was to be her baby to keep her occupied while Mommy was busy with her new baby brother).
I was a little more agitated than usual that day and was glad when all the Christmas festivities and commotion were over. I was unusually tired when I went to bed. Around two in the morning, I began to feel uncomfortable cramping in my abdomen. It came and went and then became more frequent and intense. We decided by around four that we should go to the hospital. Mom and Dad came to take Amanda home with them from the hospital around 5:00 a.m. Ethan was born around ten in the morning after fairly short but intense labor. My mom and dad brought Amanda to see her baby brother that afternoon, and Ken’s mom and sister came the next day. While we were in the hospital, Ken found out that he was going to get paid his first full commission as an appraiser. God truly was blessing us, and our financial situation began to turn around, literally, on the day Ethan was born.

Chapter 3
Early Memories of My Children

Halloween 1993
M y children were very different… not only because one was a girl and the other a boy but because their personalities were also very unique. Amanda was very active, even in the womb. When I was pregnant, I would be sitting still when all of a sudden—wham!—something inside would kick or wiggle all around. There was movement most of the time during the day. Ethan, on the other hand, didn’t move much when I was pregnant with him. There were times that I worried if something was wrong because I didn’t feel much movement.
When