GoldenBoy Fixes the Euro Crisis

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• Publié par: golden-boys-bet-limited
• Nombre de lectures: 15
• Langue: English

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GoldenBoy Fixes the Euro Crisis

PR Newswire

LONDON, June 29, 2012

LONDON

,

June 29, 2012

/PRNewswire/ --

With

Spain

going cap in hand to the European Central Bank and 15 major

European banks having their credit downgraded, many of my followers are

asking me what happens next and what we can do to fix the debt crisis before

Italy

goes down the toilet as well. Well, it's actually quite simple. What

economists have been puzzling over for many years, GoldenBoy solved in 10

minutes.

In 1997, while we were dancing along to Barbie Girl by Aqua, the Eurozone

governments were coming up with strict rules for every country that wanted to

join the single currency. All hail the Euro, which was finally launched in 1999,

while we were all still dancing, but now along to Flat Beat by Mr Oizo. When

they decided who to let in, they couldn't find their strict rules, so they just made

them up as they went along.

In 2008 we stopped dancing. The financial crisis had kicked in. Banks were

starting to fall apart. Dizzee Rascal's plea to 'Dance Wiv Me' fell on deaf ears.

Since then, the crises have arrived as regularly as the number 16 bus - ie.

There's none for a while and then three shows up at once! By 2012 the

Eurozone on the verge of collapse and still no one is dancing, although with

Cheryl Cole riding high in the charts GoldenBoy doesn't blame anyone!

Looking to the last few years and reading the tea leaves, it's obvious that

there's no point in continuing to chuck money at the problem. We need to take

decisive action and we need to do it now. Here are my suggestions for saving

the Euro:

1. The Eurozone to become

the United States

of

Europe

. You only have to look at the

USA

to

see that a single currency requires a single economic policy and that requires a single

government. It's time to bite the bullet, admit the inevitable and make Francois Mitterrand's

dying wish come true. The name is so similar to the US of A, the British government will

have signed up before they notice the difference.

2. Relaunch Greece as a social network - Let's call it 'Greecebook'. All the people there ever

seem to do is moan about their lot, which is pretty much the same as Facebook users,

except the Greeks don't have many friends left and may require a few 'Pokes' before they

respond to financial stimulus. With 11 million users we can relaunch it as a new startup

country and persuade Mark Zuckerberg to buy it out, preferably without Morgan Stanley's

help this time.

3.

Spain

, due to its popularity with tourists, will be turned into the planet's largest Theme

Park: 'Euroland'. Full employment achieved overnight by turning all the unemployed into

theme park hosts and fast food vendors. We could even get PY Gerbeau to run it, which

has the added advantage of getting the world's most annoying Frenchman out of

Britain

.

4. Due to the increase in tourism in

Spain

it's clear that more alcoholic beverages will be

needed. Ireland will be rebranded as 'Guinnessville' and everyone will be put to work in

the breweries to meet increased demand. They'll all be paid in beer, removing the need for

money and wiping out

Ireland's

national debt. With the 'ville' in the new name, private

sector cash will flood into the US of E from Zynga!

5. As Euroland will be such a huge success, more people will visit. Due to its ideal location,

Portugal

will be bulldozed and turned into accommodation and travel facilities for the

visitors. Another problem solved; full employment to service the increase in tourism.

6. Finally, the Euro will be rebranded as the EuroMark. There will be a picture of Angela

Merkel on every coin which shoppers must kiss before handing it over to the cashier,

thereby showing their gratitude to our lord and saviour.

The US of E will be able to pay off all of the continent's debts thanks to its new

economic model and the nation will also have a kick-ass football team to boot.

Trust GoldenBoy, dust off your dancing shoes and head to Euroland!

Notes to Editors:

What is GoldenBoys?

GoldenBoys was launched in 2012 by a team of go-getting entrepreneurs. From

its inception GoldenBoys has been a betting site with a difference. The games

on GoldenBoys, as with many betting sites, incorporate an element of chance,

but they also, at first glance, appear to require a degree of understanding of

the stock markets. This isn't so. Through their simple and enjoyable games,

GoldenBoys games make the financial markets accessible to everyone,

promising huge rewards to lucky winners.

Millionaires

The jewel in the crown of GoldenBoys, Millionaires is a game with a difference.

Players must correctly predict the last digit of the official closing price of eight

different World markets to claim the jackpot payout of £1 million. Once

financial markets close each Friday the entries are checked and verified to see

if there is a new millionaire. The odds are the best you'll find in the gaming

market.