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Title: Bullets & Billets Author: Bruce Bairnsfather Release Date: February 23, 2004 [EBook #11232] Language: English Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BULLETS & BILLETS ***
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Bullets & Billets
By Bruce Bairnsfather
1916
TO MY OLD PALS, "BILL," "BERT," AND "ALF," WHO HAVE SAT IN THE MUD WITH ME
CONTENTS
CHAPTER I Landing at Havre—Tortoni's—Follow the tram lines—Orders for the Front. CHAPTER II Tortuous travelling—Clippers and tablets—Dumped at a siding—I join my Battalion. CHAPTER III Those Plugstreet trenches—Mud and rain—Flooded out—A hopeless dawn. CHAPTER IV More mud—Rain and bullets—A bit of cake—"Wind up"—Night rounds. CHAPTER V My man Friday—"Chuck us the biscuits —Relieved—Billets. " CHAPTER VI The Transport Farm—Fleeced by the Flemish—Riding—Nearing Christmas. CHAPTER VII A projected attack—-Digging a sap—An 'ell of a night—The attack—Puncturing Prussians. CHAPTER VIII Christmas Eve—A lull in hate—Briton cum Boche. CHAPTER IX Souvenirs—A ride to Nieppe—Tea at H.Q.—Trenches once more. CHAPTER X My partial escape from the mud—The deserted village—My "cottage." CHAPTER XI Stocktaking—Fortifying—Nebulous Fragments. CHAPTER XII A brain wave—Making a "funk hole"—Plugstreet Wood—Sniping.
CHAPTER XIII Robinson Crusoe—That turbulent table. CHAPTER XIV The Amphibians—Fed-up, but determined—The gun parapet. CHAPTER XV Arrival of the "Johnsons"—"Where did that one go?"—The First Fragment dispatched—The exodus—Where? CHAPTER XVI New trenches—The night inspection—Letter from the Bystander. CHAPTER XVII Wulverghem—The Douve—Corduroy boards—Back at our farm. CHAPTER XVIII The painter and decorator—Fragments forming—Night on the mud prairie. CHAPTER XIX Visions of leave—Dick Turpin—Leave! CHAPTER XX That Leave train—My old pal—London and home—The call of the wild. CHAPTER XXI Back from leave—That "blinkin' moon"—Johnson 'oles—Tommy and "frightfulness"—Exploring expedition. CHAPTER XXII A daylight stalk—The disused trench—"Did they see me?"—A good sniping position. CHAPTER XXIII Our moated farm—Wulverghem—The Curé's house—A shattered Church—More "heavies"—A farm on fire. CHAPTER XXIV That ration fatigue—Sketches in request—Bailleul—Baths and lunatics—How to conduct a war. CHAPTER XXV Getting stale—Longing for change—We leave the Douve—On the march—Spotted fever—Ten days' rest. CHAPTER XXVI A pleasant change—Suzette, Berthe and Marthe—"La jeune fille farouche"—André. CHAPTER XXVII Getting fit—Caricaturing the Curé—"Dirty work ahead"—A projected attack—Unlooked-for orders. CHAPTER XXVIII We march for Ypres—Halt at Locre—A bleak camp and meagre fare—Signs of battle—First view of Ypres. CHAPTER XXIX Getting nearer—A lugubrious party—Still nearer—Blazing Ypres—Orders for attack. CHAPTER XXX Rain and mud—A trying march—In the thick of it—A wounded officer—Heavy shelling—I get my "quietus!" CHAPTER XXXI Slowly recovering—Field hospital—Ambulance train—Back in England.
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
"Bruce Bairnsfather: a photograph"
"The Birth of "Fragments": Scribbles on the farmhouse walls"
That Astronomical Annoyance, the StarShell, Which Momentarily Enables You to Scrutinize the Kind of Mud You Are In
An Impression of the Famous Bois de Ploegsteet
"A Hopeless Dawn: Rain, Mud, Damp Coke, and Dug-Out Off Down Stream "
"The usual line in Billeting Farms: A Three-Sided Red-Tiled Building, With a Rectangular Smell in the Middle"
"Chuck us the biscuits, Bill. The fire wants mendin'"
"Shut that blinkin' door. There's a 'ell of a draught in 'ere"
"A Memory of Christmas, 1914: 'Look at this bloke's buttons, 'Arry. I should reckon 'e 'as a maid to dress 'im."
What He Doesn't KnowAbout Fire Buckets and the Time the Rum Comes Up Isn't Worth Knowing
A Messines Memory: "'Ow about shiftin' a bit further down the road, Fred?"
"Old soldiers never die"
Photograph of the Author. St. Yvon, Christmas Day, 1914 Officers, 2nd Lieutenant: 1 Bairnsfathers, Bruce: 1 Holes, Shell: 1