Incidents of the War: Humorous, Pathetic, and Descriptive

Incidents of the War: Humorous, Pathetic, and Descriptive

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The Project Gutenberg EBook of Incidents of the War: Humorous, Pathetic, and Descriptive, by Alf Burnett
This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
Title: Incidents of the War: Humorous, Pathetic, and Descriptive
Author: Alf Burnett
Release Date: December 4, 2007 [EBook #23733]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK INCIDENTS OF THE WAR: ***
Produced by David Edwards, Christine P. Travers and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This book was produced from scanned images of public domain material from the Google Print project.)
[Transcriber's note: Obvious printer's errors have been corrected, all other inconsistencies are as in the original. Author's spelling has been maintained.
Page 204: A word was missing after "The Major was right, for a little" "while" has been added.]
ALF BURNETT. From A Photograph By Winder.
Incidents of the War:
HUMOROUS, PATHETIC,
AND
DESCRIPTIVE.
By
ALF BURNETT,
COMIC DELINEATOR, ARMY CORRESPONDENT, HUMORIST, ETC., ETC.
CINCINNATI: RICKEY & CARROLL, PUBLISHERS, 73 WEST FOURTH STREET. 1863.
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1863, by RICKEY & CARROLL, In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the Southern District of Ohio.
STEREOTYPED AT THE FRANKLIN TYPE FOUNDRY, CINCINNATI.
SKETCH OF THE AUTHOR.
BY ENOS B. REED.
The author of the following sketches, letters, etc., has been known to us for lo, these many years. We have always found him "a fellow of infinite jest," and one who, "though troubles assailed," always looked upon the bright side of life, leaving its reverse to those who could not behold the silver lining to the darkl ing clouds of their moral horizon. We could fill a good-sized volume with anecdotes illustrating the humorous in Mr. Burnett's composition, and his keen appreciation of the grotesque and ludicrous—relating how he has, many a time and oft, "set the table in a roar," by his quaint sayings and the peculiar manner in which they were said; but we are "admonished to be brief," four pages only being allotted to "do up" the veritable "Don Alfred us," better known by the familiar appellation "Alf."
Mr. Burnett has been a resident of Cincinnati for the past twenty-seven years, his parents removingthereto from Utica, New York, in 1836. Alf, at the Utica Academy, in his
earliest youth, was quite noted as a declaimer; his "youth but gave promise of the man," Mr. B., at the present time, standing without a peer in his peculiar line of declamation and oratory. In 1845, he traveled with Professor De Bonneville, giving his wonderful rendition of "The Maniac," so as to attract the attention of theliteratithroughout the country.
Perhaps one great reason for Mr. Burnett's adopting his present profession was a remark made by the celebrated tragedian, Edwin Forrest. Mr. B. had been invited to meet Mr. Forrest at the residence of S. S. Smith, Esq. Mr. Burnett gave several readings, which caused Mr. Forrest to make the remark, that "Mr. B. had but to step upon the stage to reach fortune and renown." "Upon this hint" Mr. B. acted, and at once entered upon the duties of his arduous profession. In his readings and recitations he soon discovered that it was imperative, to insure a pleasant entertainment, that humor should be largely mingled with pathos; hence, he introduced a series of droll and comical pieces, in the rendition of which he is acknowledged to have no equal. As a mimic and ventriloquist he stands preeminent, and his entertainment is so varied with pathos, wit, and humor, that an evening's amusement of wonderful versatility is afforded.
Mr. Burnett is a remarkably ready writer—too ready, to pay that care and attention to the "rules," which is considered, and justly so, to be indispensable to a correct writer. To illustrate the rapidity with which he composes, we have but to repeat a story, which a mutual friend relates. He met Alf, one afternoon, about five o'clock, he being announced to deliver an original poem in the evening, of something less than a hundred verses. In the midst of the conversation which ensued, Alf suddenly recollected that he had not written a line thereof, and, making his excuses, declared he must go home and write up the "little affair." In the evening a voluminous poem was forthcoming, Alf, in all probability, having "done it up" in half an hour "by Shrewsbury clock."
Mr. Burnett has contributed various poems to the literature of the country, which have stamped him as being possessed of a more than ordinary share of the divine afflatus. Among them is "The Sexton's Spade," which has gaine d a world-wide celebrity. The writer has been connected with Mr. Burnett in the p ublication of two or three papers, which, somehow or other, never won their way into popular favor: either the public had very bad taste, or the "combined forces" had not the ability to please, or the perseverance to continue until success crowned their labors.
In the commencement of the war, Mr. Burnett was on a tour of the State, in the full tide of prosperity. Immediately after Sumter fell, he su mmoned to him, by telegraph, his traveling agent, together with Mr. George Humphreys, who had, as an assistant, been with him for years. A consultation was held, which resulted in the determination of all three to enlist in the service of their country. The agent repaired to Chillicothe and joined the 27th Ohio; Humphreys joined the 5th Ohio, and Mr. Burnett enlisted as high private in the 6th Ohio, and served with his regiment in West Virginia, throughout that memorable campaign.
Mr. Burnett was subsequently engaged by the Cincinn atiPress,Times, and Commercialgreat avidity, and were, as war correspondent. His letters were read with replete with wit, humor, and interesting anecdote. His extensive acquaintance enabled him to gather the earliest information, and his letters were always considered among the most reliable. A number of them will be found in the succeeding pages.
That "Incidents of the War" will be found instructi ve and entertaining, we can but believe, although Mr. Burnett's professional engagements precluded the possibility of his
devoting that time and attention to its preparation which was almost imperative. It lays no particular claim to merit as a literary production— being a collection of letters and incidents, which Mr. B.'s publishers thought would be palatable to the public in their present form.
In the volume will be found several pieces for the superior rendition of which Mr. Burnett has been highly extolled. At the close will be found a famous debate, which, although not an incident of the war, is peculiarly spirited, and was delivered by Mr. Burnett before General Rosecrans.
For the graphic illustrations accompanying the volu me, Mr. Burnett is indebted to Messrs. Jones & Hart, engravers, and Messrs. Ball & Thomas, photographic artists.
Mr. Burnett is still engaged in giving readings and recitations, in city and village, and, since the death of Winchell, stands almost alone in his profession. Upon a visit to England, some years since, he gained the praise of the English press and public, as a correct delineator of the passions, mimic, and humorist. He is never so well pleased as when before an audience, and receiving the applause of the judicious.
In conclusion, let us hope that "Incidents of the War" may be welcomed by that large number who have had relatives in the armies of the Union, and whose names may, perchance, be found in its pages, while we know the numerous friends of Mr. Burnett will hail its appearance with unfeigned delight.
CHAPTER I
CONTENTS.
PREPARATORY REMARKS —ACMP-LIFE —NICIDENTSOFTHE BATTLEOF PERRYVILLE — BRIGADIER-GENERAL LYTLE — CAPTAIN MCDOUGAL,OFTHE 3D OHIOC — OLONEL LOOMISA — FTERTHE BATTLER — EBELS PLAYING 'POSSUM —KSEERED! THAT AINTNO NAMEFORIT —ACMP FUN,INA BURLESQUELETTERTOAFRIEND.
CHAPTER II
GENERAL NELSON — THE GENERALANDTHE PIE-WOMENT — HE WATCHFUL SENTINELOFTHE2DKENTUCKY— THEWAGON-MASTEROFTHE17THINDIANA — DEATHOF GENERAL NELSON —ISH FUNERAL —OCLONELINCK ANDERSON'SOPINIONOFNELSON.
CHAPTER III
DESCRIPTIONOFABATTLE— THE2DOHIO(COLONELHARRIS)ATPERRYVILLE — MAJOR-GENERAL MCCOOK'S REPORT — MAJOR-GENERAL ROUSSEAU'S REPORT— SKETCHOFMAJOR-GENERALA. MCD. MCCOOK.
Page
13
23
37
CHAPTER IV
LOOKINGFORTHEBODYOFADEADNEPHEWONTHEFIELDOFMURFREESBORO — THE6THOHIOATMURFREESBORO— THEDEADOFTHE6TH— THE 36TH INDIANA— PUTTINGCONTRABANDSTOSOMESERVICE— ANXIETYOFOWNERS TO RETAINTHEIR SLAVESC — ONDUCTOFA MISTRESS"D — ON'T SHOOT, MASSA,HERE I IS!" — KIDD'S SAFEGUARD — "ALWAYS BEENA UNION MAN" — NEGROESEXHIBITINGTHEIRPREFERENCEFORTHEIRFRIENDS.
CHAPTER V
CUTTINGDOWNAREBEL'SRESERVEDTIMBER— HOMEAGAIN— LOOMISAND H I S COLDWATER BATTERY —ESCESSION POETRY —EHAVY JOKEONAN "EGYPTIAN" REGIMENT.
CHAPTER VI
GENERALTURCHIN— MRS. GENERALTURCHININCOMMANDOFTHEVANGUARD OFTHE19THILLINOIS— THE18THOHIOATATHENS— CHILDRENANDFOOLS ALWAYS TELLTHE TRUTHP — ICKET TALKA — BOUT SOLDIERS VOTING — CAPTAINKIRK'SLINEOFBATTLE.
CHAPTER VII
COMIC SCENES —MIPORTATIONOF YANKEESW — OULDN'T GO ROUND — MAJOROBYNTONANDTHE CHICKEN —OMNOTONYOF CAMP-LIFE — EXPERIENCEONA SCOUTING EXPEDITIONL — ARZ ANDERSON, ESQ.,IN CAMP — A WOULD-BE SECESSIONIST CAUGHTINHISOWNTRAP— GUTHRIEGRAY BILLOF FAREFORA REBEL "RECEPTION" —IPC RUSSELL AMONGTHE SNAKES.
CHAPTER VIII
FUNINTHE 123D OHIOA T — HRILLING INCIDENTOFTHE WARG — ENERAL KELLEY —OVTE UNDER STRANGE CIRCUMSTANCES —IDE, BUT NEVER SURRENDER.
CHAPTER IX
OURHOSPITALS— NOHOPE— A SHORTANDSIMPLESTORY— A SOLDIER'S PRIDE — THE LAST LETTERS — OLDIERLY SYMPATHYT — HE HOSPITALSAT GALLATIN,ANDTHEIRMINISTERINGANGELS.
CHAPTER X
SPORTSINCAMP— ANECDOTEOFTHE63DOHIOANDCOLONELSPRAGUESOLDIER'SDREAMOFHOME— THEWIFE'SREPLY.
CHAPTER XI
THEATROCITIESOFSLAVERY— THEBEAUTIESOFTHE PECULIAR INSTITUTION — A FEWWELL-SUBSTANTIATEDFACTS— VISITTOGALLATIN, TENNESSEE.
CHAPTER XII
GENERAL SCHOFIELDC — OLONEL DURBIN WARDC — OLONEL CONNELL — WOMENINBREECHES— ANOTHERINCIDENTOFTHEWAR— NEGROSERMON.
CHAPTER XIII
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LETTERFROMCHEATMOUNTAINTHEWOMENOFTHESOUTH— GILBERT'S BRIGADE.
CHAPTER XIV
CONFESSIONSOFAFATMAN— HOME-GUARD— THENEGROONTHEFENCE — A CAMPLETTEROFEARLYTIMES— "SWEETHARTS" AGAINSTWAR.
CHAPTER XV
THE WINTER CAMPAIGNIN VIRGINIA — DIDN'T KNOWOFTHE REBELLION — GENERALW. H. LYTLE— DRILLING— A BLACKNIGHTINGALE'SSONG.
CHAPTER XVI
OLDSTONNICKERANDCOLONELMARROW,OF3DOHIO— GENERALGARNETT ANDHISDOGS— "AREYOUTHECOL-O-NELOFTHISPOST?" — PROFANITYIN THEARMY— HIGHPRICEOFBEANSINCAMP— A LITTLEGAMEOF"DRAW."
CHAPTER XVII
HARDONTHE SUTLER: SPIRITUALISM TRIEDA — PSECIMENOF SOUTHERN POETRY —INSGULAR —AMRCHTO NASHVILLE —EGNERAL STEADMAN CHALLENGEDBYAWOMAN— NIGGERQUESTION— "REBELSRETURNING."
CHAPTER XVIII
GOING INTO BATTLE —ELTTER TOTHE SECESH — GENERAL GARFIELD, MAJOR-GENERALROSECRANS'S CHIEFOF STAFFG — ENERAL LEW WALLACE — THE SIEGEOF CINCINNATI — PARSON BROWNLOW — COLONEL CHARLES ANDERSON.
CHAPTER XIX
ANEPISODEOFTHEWAR— LAUGHABLEINCIDENT— OLDMRS. WIGGLESON PICKETDUTY— GENERALMANSON— GODBLESSTHESOLDIERS— NEGRO'S PEDIGREEOF ABRAHAM LINCOLNA M — IDDLE TENNESSEE PREACHERA — LACONICSPEECH.
CHAPTER XX
UNION MEN SCARCEH — OW THEY ARE DREADED —NICIDENTS — THE WEALTHY SECESSIONISTSAND POOR UNION WIDOWST — HE JOHN MORGANS OF REBELLIONA C — ONTRABAND'S EXPLANATIONOFTHE MYSTERY — ACCIDENTAT THE SOUTH TUNNEL —MIPUDENCEOFTHE REBELS — A PATHETICAPPEAL,ETC.
CHAPTER XXI
A FRIENDLYVISITFORCORNINTOANEGYPTIANCOUNTRY— OHIOREGIMENTS — "CORNORBLOOD" — "FANNYBATTLES" — THECONSTITUTIONBUSTEDIN SEVERALLPACES —DICETSGAAINSTIDNNER-HORNS,BYOCLONEL BROWNLOW'S CAVALRYA — ISGNAL STATION BURNED — TWO REBEL AIDS CAPTURED.
CHAPTER XXII
REWARDFORA MASTERT — URNINGTHE TABLESD — AN BOSSAND HIS ADVENTURE — MAJOR PIC RUSSELLA — IVSIT TOTHE OUTPOSTS WITH
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172
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188
194
201
207
GENERALJEFFC. DAVIS— REBELWITTICISMS— HIGHTIGO, YEECCENTRIC QUARTER-MASTER— FLINGOUTTOTHEBREEZE, BOYS.
CHAPTER XXIII
DEFENSEOFTHECONDUCTOFTHEGERMANREGIMENTSATHARTSVILLE— TO THE MEMORYOF CAPTAIN W. Y.HOGLSON —OCLONEL TOLAND VS. CONTRABANDWHISKY.
CHAPTER XXIV
WARAND ROMANCEC — OLONEL FRED JONESH — ANGINGINTHE ARMY — GENERALA. J. SMITHVS. DIRTYGUNS.
CHAPTER XXV
A TRIPINTOTHE ENEMY'S COUNTRY — THE REBELSTWICEDRIVENBACKBY GENERAL STEADMAN — INCIDENTSOFTHE CHARGEOFTHE 1ST TENNESSEE CAVALRY,UNDERMAJORTRACY— THE35THAND9THOHIOINTHEFIGHTCOLONELMOODYANDTHE 74TH OHIO — COLONEL MOODYONTHE BATTLE-FIELD.
CHAPTER XXVI
A WEDDINGINTHEARMY— A BILLOFFAREINCAMP— DISHONESTFEMALE REB— PRIVATECUPP— TOTHE13THOHIO.
CHAPTER XXVII
THE OATHA C — ONSERVATIVE DARKEY'S OPINIONOF YANKEES — VISITTO THE GRAVESOF OHIOAND INDIANA BOYS — TRIPFROM MURFREESBOROTO LOUISVILLEN — ASHVILLE CONVALESCENTSA D — EATHINTHE HOSPITAL — HENRYLOVIECAPTURED.
CHAPTER XXVIII
GENERAL STEADMAN SUPERSEDEDBY GENERAL SCHOFIELD,OF MISSOURI — COLONEL BROWNLOW'S REGIMENT —IHS BRAVERYA — ERBEL OFFICER KILLEDBYA WOMAN — DISCONTENTIN EAST TENNESSEE —IPCKET DUTY ANDITSDANGERS— A GALLANTDEEDANDACHIVALROUSRETURN.
CHAPTER XXIX
AN INCIDENTAT HOLLY SPRINGS, MISS. — THE RAIDBY VAN DORN — CINCINNATICOTTON-DEALERSINTROUBLE— TROUBLESOFAREPORTER.
CHAPTER XXX
A REPORTER'S IDEAOF MULES — LETTERFROM KENTUCKYC — HAPLAIN GADDISTURNSFIREMAN— GADDISANDTHESECESHGRASS-WIDOW.
CHAPTER XXXI
A VISITTOTHE1STEASTTENNESSEECAVALRY— A PROPOSEDSERMONITS INTERRUPTIONH — OWYE PREACHERIS BAMBOOZLEDOUTOF $15ANDA GOLDWATCH— CAVALRYONTHEBRAIN— OLDSTONNICKERDRUMMEDOUT OFCAMP— NOWANDTHEN.
CHAPTER XXXII
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