Jokes For All Occasions - Selected and Edited by One of America's Foremost Public Speakers

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• Publié par: ummo
• Publié le: 08 décembre 2010
• Nombre de lectures: 21
• Langue: English

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The Project Gutenberg EBook of Jokes For All Occasions, by Anonymous
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Title: Jokes For All Occasions
Selected and Edited by One of America's Foremost Public Speakers
Author: Anonymous
Release Date: April 15, 2007 [EBook #21084]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
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JOKES
FOR ALL OCCASIONS
SELECTED AND EDITED BY ONE
OF AMERICA'S FOREMOST
PUBLIC SPEAKERS

NEW YORK
EDWARD J. CLODE

Copyright, 1921, 1922, by
Edward J. Clode

Printed in the United States of America

JOKES
FOR ALL OCCASIONS
CONTENTS
PREFACE
INTRODUCTION
STORIES
PAGES SELECTED AND EDITED BY "LIFE'S" FAMOUS CONTRIBUTOR
[Pg 7]PREFACE
The ways of telling a story are as many as the tellers themselves. It is
impossible to lay down precise rules by which any one may perfect himself in
the art, but it is possible to offer suggestions by which to guide practise in
narration toward a gratifying success.
Broadly distinguished, there are two methods of telling a story. One uses the
extreme of brevity, and makes its chief reliance on the point. The other devotesitself in great part to preliminary elaboration in the narrative, making this as
amusing as possible, so that the point itself serves to cap a climax. In the public
telling of an anecdote the tyro would be well advised to follow the first method.
That is, he should put his reliance on the point of the story, and on this alone.
He should scrupulously limit himself to such statements as are absolutely
essential to clear understanding of the point. He should make a careful
examination of the story with two objects in mind: the first, to determine just
what is required in the way of explanation; the second, an exact understanding
of the point itself. Then, when it comes to the relating of the story, he must
simply give the information required by the hearers in order to appreciate the
point. As to the point itself, he must guard against any carelessness. Omission
of an essential detail is fatal. It may be well for him, at the outset, to memorize
the conclusion of the story. No matter how falteringly the story is told, it will
succeed if the point itself be made clear, and this is insured for even the most
embarrassed speaker by memorizing it.
[Pg 8]The art of making the whole narration entertaining and amusing is to be
attained only by intelligent practise. It is commonly believed that story-sellers
are born, not made. As a matter of fact, however, the skilled raconteurs owe
their skill in great measure to the fact that they are unwearying in practise. It is,
therefore, recommended to any one having ambition in this direction that he
cultivate his ability by exercising it. He should practise short and simple stories
according to his opportunities, with the object of making the narration smooth
and easy. An audience of one or two familiar friends is sufficient in the earlier
efforts. Afterward, the practise may be extended before a larger number of
listeners on social occasions. When facility has been attained in the simplest
form, attempts to extend the preliminary narrative should be made. The
preparation should include an effort to invest the characters of the story; or its
setting, with qualities amusing in themselves, quite apart from any relation to
the point. Precise instruction cannot be given, but concentration along this line
will of itself develop the humorous perception of the story-teller, so that, though
the task may appear too difficult in prospect, it will not prove so in actual
experience. But, in every instance, care must be exercised to keep the point of
the story clearly in view, and to omit nothing essential in the preparation for it.
In the selection of stories to be retailed, it is the part of wisdom to choose the
old, rather than the new. This is because the new story, so called, travels with
frightful velocity under modern social conditions, and, in any particular case, the
[Pg 9]latest story, when told by you to a friend, has just been heard by him from some
other victim of it. But the memory of most persons for stories is very short.
Practically never does it last for years. So, it is uniformly safe to present as
novelties at the present day the humor of past decades. Moreover, the exercise
of some slight degree of ingenuity will serve to give those touches in the way of
change by which the story may be brought up to date. Indeed, by such
adaptation, the story is made really one's own—as the professional humorists
thankfully admit!
[Pg 10]INTRODUCTION
Wit and humor, and the distinction between them, defy precise definition.
Luckily, they need none. To one asking what is beauty, a wit replied: "That is
the question of a blind man." Similarly, none requires a definition of wit and
humor unless he himself be lacking in all appreciation of them, and, if he be so
lacking, no amount of explanation will avail to give him understanding. Borrow,in one of his sermons, declared concerning wit: "It is, indeed, a thing so
versatile, multiform, appearing in so many shapes and garbs, so variously
apprehended of several eyes and judgments, that it seemeth no less hard to
settle a clear and certain notion thereof than to make a portrait of Proteus, or to
define the figure of the fleeting wind." Nor is it fitting to attempt exact distinctions
between wit and humor, which are essentially two aspects of one thing. It is
enough to realize that humor is the product of nature rather than of art, while wit
is the expression of an intellectual art. Humor exerts an emotional appeal,
produces smiles or laughter; wit may be amusing, or it may not, according to the
circumstances, but it always provokes an intellectual appreciation. Thus, Nero
made a pun on the name of Seneca, when the philosopher was brought before
him for sentence. In speaking the decree that the old man should kill himself,
the emperor used merely the two Latin words: "Se neca." We admit the ghastly
cleverness of the jest, but we do not chuckle over it.
[Pg 11]The element of surprise is common to both wit and humor, and it is often a
sufficient cause for laughter in itself, irrespective of any essentially amusing
quality in the cause of the surprise. The unfamiliar, for this reason, often has a
ludicrous appeal to primitive peoples. An African tribe, on being told by the
missionary that the world is round, roared with laughter for hours; it is told of a
Mikado that he burst a blood-vessel and died in a fit of merriment induced by
hearing that the American people ruled themselves. In like fashion, the average
person grins or guffaws at sight of a stranger in an outlandish costume,
although, as a matter of fact, the dress may be in every respect superior to his
own. Simply, its oddity somehow tickles the risibilities. Such surprise is
occasioned by contrasting circumstances. When a pompous gentleman,
marching magnificently, suddenly steps on a banana peel, pirouettes,
somersaults, and sits with extreme violence, we laugh before asking if he broke
a leg.
The fundamentals of wit and humor are the same throughout all the various
tribes of earth, throughout all the various ages of history. The causes of
amusement are essentially the same everywhere and always, and only the
setting changes according to time and place. But racial characteristics establish
preferences for certain aspects of fun-making, and such preferences serve to
some extent in differentiating the written humor of the world along the lines of
nationality. Nevertheless, it is a fact that the really amusing story has an almost
universal appeal. I have seen in an American country newspaper a town
correspondent's humorous effort in which he gave Si Perkins's explanation of
[Pg 12]being in jail. And that explanation ran on all fours with a Chinese story ages
and ages old. The local correspondent did not plagiarize from the Chinaman:
merely, the humorous bent of the two was identical. In the ancient Oriental tale,
a man who wore the thief's collar as a punishment was questioned by an
acquaintance concerning the cause of his plight.
"Why, it was just nothing at all," the convict explained easily. "I was strolling
along the edge of the canal, when I happened to catch sight of a bit of old rope.
Of course, I knew that old piece of rope was of no use to anyone, and so I just
picked it up, and took it home with me."
"But I don't understand," the acquaintance exclaimed. "Why should they punish
you so severely for a little thing like that? I don't understand it."
"I don't understand it, either," the convict declared, "unless, maybe, it was
because there was an ox at the other end of the rope."
The universality of humor is excellently illustrated in Greek literature, where is
to be found many a joke at which we are laughing to-day, as