Punch or the London Charivari, September 9, 1914

Various

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The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch or the London Charivari, September 9,1914, by VariousThis eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and withalmost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away orre-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License includedwith this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.orgTitle: Punch or the London Charivari, September 9, 1914Author: VariousEditor: Owen SeamanRelease Date: November 29, 2008 [EBook #27360]Language: English*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH ***Produced by Neville Allen, Malcolm Farmer and the OnlineDistributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.netPUNCH,OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.Vol. 147September 9, 1914.CHARIVARIA.The Deutsche Tageszeitung says:—"Our present war with England shall not be done by halves; it is no war to bestopped by 'notice,' but by a proper settlement. Otherwise the peace we all desire would be both rotten and dangerous."Your wish shall be respected, Deutsche Tageszeitung.The fines which Germany has been imposing so lavishly on towns and provinces will, a commercial friend informs us,ultimately prove to be what are known in City circles as "temporary loans."By the way, The Globe tells us that the Kaiser was once known to his English relatives as "The Tin Soldier." In view of hispassion for raising tin by these predatory methods this title might be revived.The German threat that they will make "Gurken-salad" of the Goorkhas, leaves these ...

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• Publié par: soun
• Publié le: 08 décembre 2010
• Nombre de lectures: 57
• Langue: English

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The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch or the London Charivari, September 9, 1914, by Various

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

Title: Punch or the London Charivari, September 9, 1914

Author: Various

Editor: Owen Seaman

Release Date: November 29, 2008 [EBook #27360]

Language: English

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH ***

Produced by Neville Allen, Malcolm Farmer and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

Vol

. 147

September 9, 1914.

cseheDtuseezT ga RIVACHA The  RIA. on tebd no eybh h England shall erp tnesraw tiw  unit sa g  :—ysur"O r serope a pt by 'ubci,en'tob  yedppto e s  btor wa on si ti ;sevla h rottend be botri eowlua lld seacpewee e ise thtO .wreheltttnem ung . gerous." and dan  hhsla loYruw siedct De ,  rbepees segatiezcstuT eh

The Thinker. The Thinker."You say this war don't affect you: but 'ow, instead of a British copper sayin', 'Git aht of it,' would yer like one o' them German johndarms to keep proddin' at yer wif 'is baynit?"

The Gibraltar Manner. "Gibraltar Life Normal. Ladies Making Garments."

Partridge shooting began last week, but poor sport is recorded. The birds declare that it is not their fault. They turned up in large numbers, but there were not enough guns to make it worth while.

We hear that some of our Nuts have volunteered to serve as regimental pets.

"Carry on" is no doubt an admirable motto for these times, but the Special Constable who was surprised by his wife while carrying on with a cook (which he thought to be part of his professional duty) complains that it is misleading.

A proposal has been made in The Globe that all "alien enemies" in this country shall be confined within compounds until the end of the War. Suggested alteration in the National Anthem: "Compound his enemies."

It is stated that the German barque Excelsior , bound for Bremen with a valuable cargo, has been captured by one of our cruisers. It speaks well for the restraint of our Navy that, with so tempting a name, she was not blown up.

Strangely enough, the most heroic single-handed feat of the war seems only to have been reported in one paper, The Express . We refer to the following announcement:— "AUSTRIAN WARSHIP SUNK By J. A. Sinclair Pooley Express Correspondent."

A number of the more valuable of the pictures in the Louvre have, with a view to their safety, been placed in cellars. La Gioconda is to be interned at an extra depth, as being peculiarly liable to be run away with.

Meanwhile President Wilson is being urged by innumerable tourist agencies in his country to stop the war before any more historical buildings are demolished.

We give the rumour for what it is worth. It is said that, overcome with remorse at the work of his vandals at Louvain, the Kaiser has promised when the war is over to present the city with a colossal monument of himself.

By the way, The Globe tells us that the Kaiser was once known to his English relatives as "The Tin Soldier." In view of his passion for raising tin by these predatory methods this title might be revived.

The German threat that they will make " Gurken-salad " of the Goorkhas, leaves these cheery little sportsmen undismayed.

The fines which Germany has been imposing so lavishly on towns and provinces will, a commercial friend informs us, ultimately prove to be what are known in City circles as "temporary loans."

ht dos ee-lucnamatipg inthLu. S er aldnt ah tnia  nage uncouther Bre aerg eht ht yB ret  oftgie  t   usFa f  ht ecu ht ahaldnde ot maebt ur d wwelpete and  Stru . r

It looks more like three new names. Q. I hear the Sugar Refiners are raising cane? A. That's because they haven't yet got the German beet. [ Awarded Gold Medal and Banana Skin for worst joke of the war. ]

Now the creed of Nietzsche, base, unholy, Guides the nation's brain and guides it solely. Now Mozart's serene and joyous magic Yields to Richard Strauss, the hæmorrhagic. [1] Now the eagle changing to the vulture Preaches rapine in the name of culture. Now the Prussian Junker , blind with fury, Claims to be God's counsel, judge and jury. While the authentic German genius slumbers, Cast into the limbo of back numbers.

Footnote 1:(return) Great play is made in Strauss'sElektrawith the "slippery blood" motive.

The Late "Kaiser Wilhelm der Grosse." First Student of the War. Why did they call it "Kaiser William the Grocer?" Second Student. Don't know. I should have described him as a Butcher. "PETROGRAD. New Name for the Russian Capital. Petrograud (St. Petersburg), Tuesday. By Imperial order, the city of St. Petersburg will henceforth be known as Petrograu." Evening Standard.

HETWO T ehriz ae lof relarning. Such the  na ,ae dninr dnE g ssleon hr ou tby idgnH , lo hhth girch e toruthof T  su tnahrieht nilethea desag pss  seers af poets, W , ohe cn dns gase nan onti Ghemaer al eo dncnO ! ht e on Of matisfortran fot ir ts ipt eh vear . M ESNIMAER G  rettu eht suoll

O.S. The Red Cross Society is in need of help. Gifts should be addressed to Lord Rothschild at Devonshire House, Piccadilly.

eka s owdr A , dnL ove go out to op d eneine eL ,d iP t ptyrcieyoe liu  .T ediw ne  etag ehe if lofedorstre no slaC  ylesorCatThon l firid,ceoldos ca filefb-  still, O rshipped on ot tfig eerf atthy  ; B striChf sdo ownuht eti hed w ill R 's hvary deenofr an hand  h a  yloirhs T ,en , Who serve as in p al yhtie raptr syt ha two, olmb gis ssor yb ,hA .ner t , Unded Che R va e drbaetrfoh  in To d fas aneartelh egtnva etah the  . Y SSRO CED REHT ROF aceruo r k onW , oh se t thoin yhat  ehT —dae fo esuac au c achplo  tse i  navni W , ti hus  voice could ask deen ehT , i eron s uc surcoen mn  i , T le fao  nd aho wts egnor,eradam  der wher . And yon ref eidleca onht eithl tiuns estlseR ,llot yldi ta ay fey md th d, An aeelebh tr s ruh C sev revoruo gnE  nd aha sowllra g oh woyrus sietsr lish dead, Think  korB seva retsey e bae the  w'slett wot ern iwtfehs  o'erday , Whe head t eh yot eownusdou. Out o ok for y  kcos foht fhs espg rseatthainer  oohtbt  eed wht fide , Con  duenour yeht sdnuow eht  Th r,ea wlyudro p s and sears, Theyc mo eiwhtb doeiscs rear An d, cod  tnu ehtruohht s scre , Of g shaminna dle l,d nS hsra  fedchate thm roht ekomsdnilb ta

I"e tovancack, attknw t ih yda eammmCon ia fr,deant dias "ssurP ehloidgnu  phte

A BRUSH WITH THE ENEMY.

  Berliner Tageblatt War Map.

"One moment, Sir," interposed the Chief of Staff, "the supply of captured alien women and children is exhausted."

"Then," said the Commander, "we shall be forced to confront the enemy's fire without the usual screen."

"Why not advance under a flag of truce?" suggested the Chief of Staff.

"I am loth to violate the canons of civilized warfare," said the Commander, "but really there seems no other way, unless— unless—— Here! Hand me a telegram form. I have an idea."

The Commander wrote rapidly for a minute. "Send this at once," he said, "and pre-pay the reply."

In an hour the answer arrived. The Commander tore it open with eager haste. "We are saved!" he cried. "The advance commences at daybreak to-morrow." He tossed the telegram over to the Chief of Staff, who read:—"Am forwarding immediately per special train 1,000 foxes as requested.—Hagenbeck, Hamburg."

And the Kaiser, reading the Commander's despatch later in the day, mailed his Super-strategist the insignia of the Order of the Double-faced Vulture.

Americans must no tofgrtet ah toL t budoI ot nnd utsre dna .ti ehTat m" The meay bof rna tru ,uhomedintaonony nl o"—drow e.niavuoL ,nD .rM C t ahlpia to draweuchler, nialH .t on pmocy  murCoe avldtoiegntab  dht ,nan bee cather so  tnrub saw niavupsootr n   maer   G by es dtcelB deiglend aiv fhue rend xeBglai namoysr Huns. Tuesday. —Si  eht fo  naissuRn  omyfartpae th nottnoi snit ih Div theatteine  stfaTh.  batakre eh  tasireisa gon Blutgtenant va  tiLues enredead hemth ofe On. spoort tnallag yby mhot en se beh vaegsrlialnav  had ans feon cveopu derrht mih non Ce Ir. Hoross neids w lpoG dld y noe e G bl maercon nmulaH .t evgeleraphed my suprem eocgnarutalitno ah egalliv a aisy  bntur benbes d ruaisnuRssht e. Thttlea baing   gnit nib sivahe Mo s. aynd seheay d tstadet — . tIi  sast Prushat in E  eeth vapaehelrgthe  to  andTsarp seirtn gnitnioeu ntod ou caltrna dumtsb  etspo is is monstrous, es ea tnorp tsetd pe oate.ncav H . A ture cul anditnoilasicivni g  cit a;icerAmm rof emoc sah ylpering barbs spreaduRssaii  uo thtta sps adremaer inyerehG sasiraw ,m ailior fnt f bursi eocng oergnt ont  abeo  tre adna dedrabmob ec t read nHave jus kybP orboelb oo y o it Gef  pesuorri elle .tcnamrtni særataC nnbi ,aHAlexal, r, Ho andeL rossefohtnepmu pho wr,ths vero ,nA ttli ana deGnghis Khan were ,remriV ,ligahS pekse,arap Neool crem oot era snarmGe rndemoe  wat rhtf ae sotesme He ans.Germall  er tcnocon eey tangiars he tel Bur,ef rod uotbt is is noiful. Th  wur—O y. ulrfdeon sretsam d adsruhT . God-eir inteappot  olide shtsua  boh s atd an EandeedT .sD owsinaits magnificent n va yoctnnieu s  ans ireBee ialgfitsen-feedn a de, but wi cked rac h le phthtG dos'demae  bllha seyt dnatsrednu ot ic gthetympahe st eh sfoneseneltreG  namrahcetca Br. tutsno r eetaa  am nniu inofrm is an inconcec elbavirow emirlyony th Eanf  ohsamgnilehl .nT enanieuts hat ha erocev r ipat lotinto hosd to go  tnemeH .t lutaershs efamomfrhi tebr la l dhs nnaermaue Ga tr is  eerht deredrO— .ydaesdnWe d.dearew e razed to the gc taehrdla sotb maw  onyinrdy arnuorF .degrooh t stro en de Allyed. hcsehcru eebh va ivunh ncestisiernaigleB erF dna  .seau cur ono yltnedive si D vini elbseisgnious troops. The p llsaelym e rolg  sbet.hohi Twis batii hnt  onastbe b to  andurnt naigleBsegallivrel ald g ininma l il who ws,rkTu htiw gnihtyreve armheirth te wivrnenietlt yhsro alr Hil Gok fod  ot s naht uhc ehcr rranged  . —Have a .s rFdiya  semcrei ler dedns suoigiHa. ea Smaom cve nladli mrna leGces ervie heto b  evaneeb tnes ot  ling tshwlra her en snit ehN rohtthe bottom by mi ocnula l thstui gioureliand term rutaS .secivres s redeore av—H y.da c luuter neGmrna be allow , cannot s sstemo .deelnUnedobo anghis  i glant En abod is osutut idna enIs.opro t bs,hi T na gnieo kcatta y to help German yots rpae c d viliatisn iod ane thpsoG .leraeHaht 

Imperial Patron of Art. Scene—Louvain. Imperial Patron of Art."Don't trouble about architectural details; just get a broad effect of culture." [Awell-known battle painter of Düsseldorf has been commissioned by the Kaiser to make studies of the present campaign.]

INDIAFOR THE KING INDIAFOR THE KING!

Sunderland Daily Echo.

"The Rev. N. J. Poyntz, M.A., is appointed a chaplain on the Bengal Establishment. Add to European Crises."— Pioneer. It can't be as serious as that.

It must be a very fierce one to have bitten through its lead.

"Lost, Appendix, heart shaped, short chain attached. "

 Glemaeradn ncvaG .erenev laS nochweinehund was nic moamdno  fht  tllwis el Bcheaton muig dliub ot  lage vil thes ino  fw yassbi aop oslarub b ev neestreav h; nte thirev nuo eebned rve. Thit to sta liv naigleB neT n b ee bvehas gela  fhtemo  .oSrutns hatanthabie in natoeh rrtuipm hy has witnessed  delmreGa na.ymrr foe thghhiou-s adnuS .RE ad-oT— .y  ORYIADISKAA F