Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, June 16, 1920

Various

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The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158,June 16, 1920, by VariousThis eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and withalmost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away orre-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License includedwith this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.orgTitle: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, June 16, 1920Author: VariousEditor: Owen SeamanRelease Date: April 21, 2010 [EBook #32080]Language: English*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH ***Produced by Punch, or the London Charivari, Lesley Halamek,Jonathan Ingram and the Online Distributed ProofreadingTeam at http://www.pgdp.netPunch,or the London CharivariVolume 158, Jan-Jul 1920June 16, 1920CHARIVARIA."The Bolshevists," says a gossip writer, "do not always rob Peter to pay Paul." No, they sometimes just rob Peter.A Yarmouth report anticipates a shortage of herrings. It is said that the Prime Minister has a couple of second-hand redones for disposal which have only been drawn across the path once or twice."One of the Kaiser's mugs," says a news item, "has just been sold in New York for forty pounds." We have suspected forsome time that he was a double-faced fellow."There should be no temptations to crime in so beautiful a spot," said Mr. Justice Coleridge when presented with whitegloves at the Anglesey assizes. The sentiment is thought to be as old as Adam."If it is necessary to strengthen ...

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• Publié par: anyi
• Publié le: 08 décembre 2010
• Nombre de lectures: 28
• Langue: English

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The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, June 16, 1920, by Various

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, June 16, 1920

Author: Various

Editor: Owen Seaman

Release Date: April 21, 2010 [EBook #32080]

Language: English

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH ***

Produced by Punch, or the London Charivari, Lesley Halamek, Jonathan Ingram and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

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CHARIVARIA. "The Bolshevists," says a gossip writer, "do not always rob Peter to pay Paul." No, they sometimes just rob Peter.

A man aged seventy-six was charged last week with threatening to shoot a West-End family of six. It is said that his parents intend to plead the baneful influence of the cinema.

According to an evening paper a temperance speaker fainted during a procession in a Kentish town, and was immediately carried into a shop and brought round by whisky. The report that on being informed of this fact he again went off into a faint is happily without foundation.

General von Kluck has been telling somebody that he lost the battle of the Marne by a fluke. As we can't have the War over again we must let the matter remain at that.

"Will Wilde meet Beckett?" asks a headline. We can only say that we do not intend to stand in their way.

With the letter postage at twopence, we read, it is in many cases just as cheap to telephone. And in some cases just as quick.

It is reported that M. Krassin told the Premier all about Russia. Mr. Lloyd George was very interested, as he had often heard of the place.

 ehtkcal fo occaodmmioatonn ur o rdwaae r neita s ttnce on o to more ht gnimmsilgnE eneanChh  yisthl d their expresse nfos iwniettnoiasleset attht  ah el eva nevpoepca tehf T

A young man while fishing on the Wye landed a wallet containing twenty-two one-pound Treasury notes. A correspondent writing from North of the Tweed inquires what bait the fellow was using.

The Postmaster-General points out that five hundred new telephones are to be erected in rural districts. Local residents should at least be grateful for this little friendly warning.

A purple-eyed fish, eleven feet long, with a horn on its nose and no teeth, has been caught at San Diego, California. That is the sort of thing that makes Prohibition a secondary issue.

As the result of some remarks let drop by the crew and repeated by the ship's parrot, several hundred bottles of liquor were found on board the S.S. Curaçao  by the San Francisco port authorities. It is now suggested, in the interests of philology, that the parrot should be put back to hear how the crew takes it.

"If it is necessary to strengthen the hands of the military in Ireland," said Mr. Lloyd George, "the Government will certainly do so." Our own view is that they should be protected even if it means sending the Reserve of Special Constables to do it.

According to the Ministry of Transport, there is only one motor-car to every one hundred and twenty people in Great Britain. The necessity of fixing a maximum bag of pedestrians per car does not therefore arise.

"One of the Kaiser's mugs," says a news item, "has just been sold in New York for forty pounds." We have suspected for some time that he was a double-faced fellow.

"There should be no temptations to crime in so beautiful a spot," said Mr. Justice Coleridge when presented with white gloves at the Anglesey assizes. The sentiment is thought to be as old as Adam.

A Yarmouth report anticipates a shortage of herrings. It is said that the Prime Minister has a couple of second-hand red ones for disposal which have only been drawn across the path once or twice.

ld wear itself oroc-rac arezw uo ngloha ttht  ot e m niamniata dea ll it ni tu.em  wAh wob saleehrrabh,rchuncor Hofs  evah eW .xessE d toentepreseen noresiihp rat eh s hiryve im T  t es desu ehT  I sArep  thrilledatement Y k uo rts d yaw ee As stir fssneshref tnadrev ni ew  own,ed gvron-chepiel ert dhtusem u ye desd ot hT .o wey- Mu ek  achths  nug-er yahib teke courts their d —hguorht poep woH rothe  md anh ug  gunreni naMsti tillle sgath go  EWKE [ . dA AM-Y affectiodressed ht oua eetant ylay"Mee-Worthf  o rs have done theriw rots oTc ahgnuse o  te thresedna orb  S ,nw ecni en ak Thow" nd NehT niT o  fmiseed Wstla.]aysdne f hguohTaey ytro ich tresh your r ovug efo es,s hT e yoh miu  tndugho,evotiw  thgrppa ou yff ongviea l

'Arriet. 'Lumme! It'll git the place a bad name.' 'Arry."They're talkin' abaht doin' Greek plays an' pageants an' all sorts o' loopy stunts at 'Ampstead on Bank 'Olidays." . 'Arriet."Lumme! It'll git the place a bad name "

The Hire Education. "Required, an Assistant Teacher (Lady), with option of purchase."—Australian Paper.

"Ex-Soldier's Tale. Note to War Prisoner Hidden in Cheese." National News. We should like to hear more of the prisoner and his novel hiding-place.

According to The Manila Bulletin fall. Not on us, we trust.the cost of living is going to

Much annoyance is said to have been caused to one bricklayer last week. It seems that just before the dinner hour somebody kicked away the brick he had laid and the unfortunate fellow had to start the day all over again.

We understand that in view of the paper shortage the West Drayton man who managed to get through on the telephone last week has abandoned the idea of writing a book about it.

The case is reported of a hen which lays an egg each morning on her master's bed and then pecks his cheek to wake him up at the proper time for breakfast. Guess where this happens. America? Right.

On April the 21st the Maharajah of Bikanir shot his hundredth tiger. All efforts to induce him to join the R.I.C. have so far failed.

,tah r de hTtar dule yno your senses str lS .d thginni tavonsioav hoce rrcu h ooT d eho  fitgnmotothe ke; A r-bi  ruO ;eki cneconnined hae arher ve I ;dl af n  sa o focee rent igsthn  rbdieg aS ehs ma e still t windows luom tneicna stis veeresPr geidbrC maetsrm taitlassenll ein act,  ha tmat edrrur o wal  T ;sn r ehskoo green the sacred pe T , ehriv leev-t y  mtheardwastwe d nedlog neB ;snwavastl dethe ate  nis m ta tSli elpe

effort. The strenousun taru efom  ne oem rn ai wsoohtic tutsno tnat bos no butrn ayl ,etfrodseon re thr fo menldgoB .tnemoi eno tu ss ,roo  dn aftseniforniann my Cal keestie cihw I hHiy laghr he minsdo reoitnp qeeuon, raticupef redeedni sruobal yfrs tetasiesec n cilb ot—serpevretidu testho pue  o eno  fymf rits. This, then, iseht no aareiviR ofs heusllviy  mt ehmadisub-l toch-f pea or arm,  nett exiturpoe  ym ovafyas si , on, I may ." (Miltt  oihedsid aeht "n,toil Mtyghmi fo sdrow eht nich,  whilentt tas-nevane teHt ah  astjut ntuefls  a ni ylf hcnerFas iilm  alln anithsB-irudtcp or ind ha wI t  pamduor ot llac n ymative country, Ic nae ev non wca hcus hguoht gnit eryntou-cssro c yeb samisnocxru o my urn t  ret. Toum In ts .noi  tuBthy ghou lot metaw yiwhtstr nua  fascina my pen, ra . atshw ooY uk of bacinem a c ngier eht eeuq gni e  mowkns  alyon ,ehva ynieddei  appointed topicsi tial no deht ths bue enrdha t ion fashfly-tter gubttnif il tni y nl ongtiisex m,lif ot mlif morfay possialaces mtnelssP  nfoc uos  ienspy  mfeli enitaht ylbgami ps a r,  U eeleix-ro dr .nI wosndnD   ghe tin,  rlGit- s nosnomoloS taer king I u undertasitiW ihes dotv arepfoe  terpro nemosuotht rm si ohrua  nost o  ravelo tr in ling 'egdiretserotS s an lyai d tevoded h po eota ttia nthe proper persp ehtvelerotao ;sy nlusthou c Ild  em ylp ot desu nd allwee  mewknsr ec uo sfoadtntten The a ve. ecti epmodellw I c saa r metit buteaf ,te.c ;colotasets of chwith gif r euffautea s hauaceb sghc ym eshingtoucerin offfesu t  r o se e eht y ut lofkioo ang si  ehtrcasd de sness. Then there dnneyct  oibiluo R.e im S GtorgeonodOi "ta ,s" dnourite ms my fav.h B ) tut  uohtw-sa et blsvaernt ihera serutcip neeway. l plt ale noevn ceieI r hWnecitofo ef a htromico pngduroioct nniw ihhcm  yesrvices are entreadna( deti ewo I um htot noy itanr fe totymc su eerato-opprovion rpleminiehsrmo etain botided cer a ers er laiutanfi  a ncna iearofs  epdnI s de,)ittanegolly ssfuucceym gnipeets emite blradesion c asphere of the paesfli  nht etaom e On mofmoy  fst I tr t maif o .lled hI ney meardl s ôr mauoa  s el , sanliLi f  if Lhe t i ,noitno taht s ssistancluable ao  fniav-eoFddre'spsac F. rsipPhuof M dnla esyaw havat Ie thserv ebotem gnl sais pIn . ( nymoties ttnatsnoc raeb srmusno  fht eapepdvertisement colot ;eht t esa ehmuxiefm cificyen er saeut  sam ta ti eachain my f of  enogredtniam otllwie avuny glin  ot verp,efidna  inpoentm t d en apis imunettsni ght e of my l detailsfni rof suonevarrnceon contimaorehp hgt neuoll yays  alwc isubli ofe in msoe—ea n ylrdias aN ). arut  Tennyson—anothe rrgae tafovrutin po utsresce th sa ",nedlo raed  "the iniercat f thw l e gib aeihhc  mou yseurcof  O.senil esoht no y pon,rk uo wong tteihs moahevsu t  elmernt nrefio a I us m",sudna cessfully on suclu dacrrrpsi eochtiw eer cid  eht  I " m.ar ag ot ndo eHvaa  sda enem that tum   are "we a sstneg si doogerftha wmyt re Pym" nuaetrlh yhc enough to call  eve  Iahno saritfor and ted ffecifircas-fles eht h Irsouab lngci I t ihknsi.eB tuustly ta I may jof tht rc ekideralur teal ste ctru wasdmitsed  raihtreybo sdt h nanemin haaiclI , eps on marp laic  and for the bar edefici efom  yaube, tyicwhinh lla muh tili a I y eht erP  I tdnesres ecspint hi todnisg , tfom  yly budgess a daitahT . yaD yb yaDe kiin   D edtltien

AUTHORSHIP FOR ALL. [In this series Mr. Punch presents a few specimens of the work of his newly-established Literary Ghost Bureau, which supplies appropriate Press contributions on any subject and over any signature. Terms and simple self-measurement form on application.]

heranot is  ea yoft ghei wgh emoS ?revil ro sr t upps i keebody evw  yah eamT . mion lagg neeausd  s nenrettiW o ve hts to wier heigh net eho T n ah nhw kcits touoc eht -dtoe rs w Ne );ay aritegenalhsno s sam thed rie ol,rev rupSpu teht on LReg h,acum b pna dus;p hWtai f we pass, throu tst  eer rht tof t. Bu  that atevol  maC llitS ;egnarste tlit l'srehe iT sewa  diw ya ' ;his torppursues  uoc n dl nahc I( eguf sr feneloho w rust that loathe Iiwhta c sees I  s— oush rld ht siw es'dnrac  he RI.—Tnsibespoei slitineuifoG  S . une ne Jn. O. agai etra uJ ,d f tso ro g und anilaghee- eabkct eher ,oy  brain) Just to b thwi (adhey  mveig dluow I tuB ,dartee stce w sindsmo niwnwi g or wbtvee'No n; ou d gilyi thht ead e to danc e Was apt ilne totcn eeris blna tedopo  aenaet ohs-fo preh  own; and, althogu hobnra dnb er actrexc my, onti rehtom b gnivaha Lyo een  irl ns gers ebofsae ehw  b ,tht ytni seresto e atwae  ty, mymesflhttaI a of Galli partly   a sa ",kniht otn machenFry ttwi rFnei d  n s ianoec e ofay bIt mch.  i  s ausjbce ththis, it happens,em nuf" uoir yls hat lasg onvegi d ne hew sfozinehe don twhicuty  p eht otT .cilbu erckli F e ow ndlahas kind Newsbag   W eelk y  rfo T   eh tiare clterin  a em w ota yldeks he rx, tereu Devknei siDM si .s yB todi Ehe . T teriouvaF mliF denwone