SOS – I’M A BAD MOTHE

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SOS± ,¶0 $ %$'MOTHER For some time nowyourchild has been misbehaving andit is becoming very difficult foryou to find a solution for their behavior. You come up with different tactics in order to solve theproblem, but the effect is nil.

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• Publié par: pavlina.tosheva
• Publié le: 28 mars 2017
• Nombre de lectures: 1
• Langue: English

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SOS–I’M A BADMOTHER©

For some time nowyourchild has been misbehaving and it is becoming very difficult foryou to find a solution for their behavior. You come up with different tactics in order to solve theproblem, but the effect is nil. You complain toyour neighbour, who givesyou some wonderful “tested” solutions, but onceyou implement them, it turns out that theynot workin are g for your child.

You shareyourproblem with the grandmothers, and they are tellingyou how the same child, who misbehaves withyou, behavesjust fine with them.(Well, it is true that thesegrandmothers have told stories about their own children–you oryour husband–which calls into question their perfect parenting skills, but you remember about those stories much later.)

You start diggingand online you stumble upon anarticle, in which says how important it is for parents to establish strict rules and to be consistent enforcingIn the next them. articleyou are readinghow from an earlyageyour child should be makingtheir own choices and not in anycase to punish them. You start to wonder, how to make both things compatible? It is also written thatyou should not be too strict. Not toopermissive either. Okay, but how areyou to know ifyou are too strict or toopermissive? Your husband says thatyou spoil the child. Your mom believes thatyou overdo with the requirements.

Yougo onparents’ blogs andyoupost a topic in whichyou describeyourproblem. In the first 10 minutes it turns out that there are other mothers likeyou! You arejust about to feel relief thatyou are not alone, and thereyou see apost from the “theperfect” mom, who usuallyhas a few followersto support her. In herpost she is tellingyou about herperfect child, and is wonderinghow is itpossible that some mothers are havingproblems discipliningtheir children. In her opinion, ifyou approach the “little angel” with understanding, empathy and respect, things will fall into place by themselves! And at thatpoint it becomes crystal clear toyou thatyou are an incompetentparent, and aside from a few more badmoms’likeyou, the others doperfectlyfine. Well, evenyour husband has toldyou that it’s your fault, but who will listen? In fact, for a split secondyou wonder ifyour child is quite in order. But you guiltily push that thought out and forget about it.

You stop sharingyour problems and from that moment on the most important thingforyou is that the others don’t find out how bad of a parent you are.

Actually, the truth is that apart from the“luckyones with perfect kids”(we’ve heard that there were some)the uninvolved ones, most of the other and parentsgo through difficultperiods and have moments when theyinsecure, hel feel pless, andguilty. These days, information is abundant but if one is not aprofessionalthere is a risk of confusion or for the information to beperceived as one- sided. What is the outcome?

First,you need to remove the blame fromyourself. Ifyour child sometimes behaves terribly, is stubborn and opposes, is aquite normal stage of development. Part of theparent’sjob is to build authorityand to set limits on behavior. Part of the child’s “job” is to oppose and confront, especially between the ages of 2-4 and duringpuberty. And if sometimes he or she makes a scene, rolls on the floor at the store, and makesyou blush with shame; this does not makeyou a badparent at all. If you are reading this article, and you are investing time and effort looking for answers, you are a wonderful and caring parent. Have you gottenspecific solutions? No, the purpose of this article is not to provide solutions. However, if we provoked thought, and at least a few sighs of relief, then we have achieved it.