Impossible lovers

Claude Cognard

Description

CLAIRE is in charge of a jewelry store. FRANK is a small time hood. A jeweler, who dreams of prince charming, holds up as hostage the man who attempted to break her jewelry. CLAIRE, head of jewelry who has just been let down by a lover she hardly knew, believes that work is her one and only way out. Disappointed, despite the late hour, and after a few drinks, she returns to her jewelry, breaking a store policy, she has disabled security and the guards by pretending that she wants to take advantage of the quiet of the night to update her work. At the same moment, a young ex-con who just got thrown out of a bistro and is passing in front of the jewelry store and decides to break in. Rather than call the police or security, CLAIRE let him in.

Sujets

• Love
• Love (disambiguation)

Informations

• Publié par: Les Éditions du Net
• Date de parution: 22 février 2013
• Nombre de lectures: 1
• EAN13: 9782312008448
• Langue: Français

Extrait

Impossible lovers

Claude Cognard
Impossible lovers
Theatre












LES ÉDITIONS DU NET 70, quai Dion Bouton 92800 Puteaux
Du même auteur :
Facebook love, une nouvelle façon d'aimer , Éditions Apopxis, Paris, 2012.
Universal Spirit , Éditions Patrick Durand-Peyroles, Burneaux 2011.
Tu es trop vieux , Éditions Patrick Durand-Peyroles, Burneaux 2010.
Claire, le malheur te va si bien , Théâtre, Éditions Patrick Durand-Peyroles. Burneaux 2009. Préface Serge Avédikian.
Six femmes pour un home , Théâtre, Éditions Zinedi – FG communication. Paris 2007.















© Les Éditions du Net, 2013 ISBN : 978-2-312-00844-8
Foreword
IMPOSSIBLE LOVERS
By Claude Cognard –
Translation Claude Cognard.
Americanization Caroline Jones.


CLAIRE is in charge of a jewellery store. FRANK is a small time hood. A jeweller, who dreams of prince charming, holds up as hostage the man who attempted to break her jewellery. CLAIRE, head of jewellery who has just been let down by a lover she hardly knew, believes that work is her one and only way out. Disappointed, despite the late hour, and after a few drinks, she returns to her jewellery, breaking a store policy, she has disabled security and the guards by pretending that she wants to take advantage of the quiet of the night to update her work. At the same moment, a young ex-con who just got thrown out of a bistro and is passing in front of the jewellery store and decides to break in. Rather than call the police or security, CLAIRE let him in.

ACTE I
CLAIRE slightly drunk, very elegant, small leather bag, hair tied back, several bracelets on each wrist. She wears necklaces and earrings. Shoes with high heels, she throws them behind the counter with a movement of the foot, abandoning her keys on the same counter, while using her mobile phone. She dials a friend’s number - several seconds elapse before she gets an answer.

CLAIRE.

Hello! Cindy? It's me, Claire! Did I wake you? Oh, OK... good!! No, Freddy didn’t come! (Nodding her head) Not Freddy or any man, you know me, I ‘m used to being let down. At my age, the guys, you know... it's decided, I draw the line at men and sex. I have my cat; at least she gets laid; she has all the tomcats she wants, and there's no risk; she's been fixed. Lucky fucking cat! Sometimes I wonder why I am not a cat myself... The men? They're all rotten, all the same! I raped one or two of them once, thank goodness! Otherwise, I'd still be a virgin. What? Do you think that Patrick and Serge pounced on me? Hell no! They were real nut cases. What? Not at all! I'm not talking about debauchery! I can't even manage a single man... and, two men, in my bed at the same time, how could I? Be realistic, Cindy! Beautiful? According to you, I would be a beautiful female? At least that's what women say. They must want to please me or I've missed my vocation as a lesbian. Oh my God, you were sleeping! Shit! It's past midnight? Your day was busy? I am so sorry! Disheartened, me? What? No, no bullshit. Where am I now? What do you mean? I'm in the shop, of course. I 'm alone! Alone in a jewellery store overnight is really bullshit. If you say so. Why don’t you come and join me? Who cares about telemonitoring? Of course, I warned the rent-a-cops before I came in, and I told them everything was perfect. I gave them the non-aggression code. They're OK, now, and they'll leave me alone! My father? Don’t speak about what happened to my father? That has nothing to do with my being here! Messing with the jewellery outside of opening hours is a serious issue? You think the CEO will fire me? Well, he can go ahead and fire me, I could care less! At least, here at the store, I feel useful. It's quiet; there are only a few cars on the street... I'll process the special orders, and that will take me a part of the night. Tomorrow is Sunday and then Monday is a bank holiday. What do you think might happen to me? You're afraid that a man might shoot me when I leave? Don't worry; when guys see me, they get scared. If, by any chance, there was one around, I‘d open the door of the jewellery case. What? If I got raped? What do you mean? Well, so much the better, if a man raped me, I wouldn’t even press charges. Besides, you can't rape the willing! Go back to bed!... No, I'm not drunk! I just had a little drink before entering the shop, but I still have it all together.

(She hangs up her phone and disappears for a moment in the backroom. she comes back with a workbook and moves behind the sales counter and sits).

CLAIRE.

Cindy wants to scare me... If a guy wants to keep me company, I won’t kick him out... Besides, I’ll see what I’d do in that situation...

(After a pause).

If he knocks at the shop-window, then I’ll I decide what I’m gonna do.

(She leafs through her files).

CLAIRE.

Madam Mirandon’s Order. Good! Everything seems to be OK… the weight of gold, Length of the jewel, delivery date set, the name of the clerk, ok, good. What? She included a draft? Price: 5 000 €, that’s OK
Deposit 2 000 €; Well, she should have marked that the customer had paid by check. Oh crap, salesclerks are all alike! I wonder what language I should speak to get them to fill these forms out right.
(She writes).

Madame Dupree...

(She blows, deeply).

What did she order… ?

(Putting the order up, in front of her eyes)

Holy Christ, these are not earrings? They’re bicycle wheels!

(She puts the order aside).

CLAIRE.

Madame Dupree will have to be called next Tuesday. I still can’t believe that stupid Freddy stood me up for our date. What’s the use of dating me, then? He could have at least told me he wasn’t coming. Too bad, if he had come, there would have more fun for him... he would have gotten lucky… oh well, his loss!

(She notices someone outside the shop, nose stuck against the window, hands on both side of his face).

CLAIRE.

(Speaking to her).

Hey! Hey! Hang on! Man, do you think we leave the collections out at night? You're dreaming! (She continues reading her documents, talking to herself).

CLAIRE.

He must be one of those guys who say they never have time to buy jewelry for their wives.

(She laughs).

Customers? Yeah, I know them; they think that shops should stay open twenty-five hours a day. Whatever! Like that’ll ever happen!

(Watching the customers' orders).

It's like all those customers who want specific jewelry when there are over five thousand pieces of jewelry and jewels here in the cases. That’s a good way to pay extra costs to get jewels that are the same as those in our catalogue. After fifteen years of managing this friggin’ shop, things haven’t changed... I’m thirsty… let’s have a drink. I think I may have a bottle of something in the fridge.

(She slides off her stool and walks away).

CLAIRE.

This will keep me awake. Of course, I could go to sleep too. Either way!

(She goes and come back almost immediately).

CLAIRE.

Beer mixed with whisky, hmnn? Well who is it who bought this little pick-me-up? It must be the great Lydia’s! She drinks like the Napoleonic Guard.

(She forces the bottle open.)

CLAIRE.

Easy to open?
(Watching the bottle).

This is what they wrote! They must be joking!... You gotta have truckers’ hands to open this.
(She looks behind the counter and pulls out a cloth).
ACTE II
CLAIRE.

Good!

(She opens the bottle and smells its contents).

CLAIRE.

This stinks? What is this crap?

(She twists her nose).

Just ordinary!

(She takes a sip; she rolls the drink in her throat as a sommelier but realizes that the man is still in the window; she coughs in disgust.)

CLAIRE.

He’s still there! What’s with the ski mask? He’s got a weapon? He’s pointing it at me. Shit, man, he’s going to try to break in the door!
(She walks toward the door).

CLAIRE.

(Talking loudly in his direction).

You can shoot, shithead, the shop-windows are bullet proof! Be my guest. You’ll make a beautiful star in the glass, but nothing more. What do they teach you in gangster school, now-a-days, or are you just a first time hood?

(She turns back and walks away to her stool. The man is hammering on the door.)



CLAIRE.

All right! All right! Gimme a minute! I’ll be back, "Open Sesame" is from another time and another place. I'll get my keys. Sheez, what’s he thinking?

(She comes back and opens the door).

FRANK.

(Rushing in).

Where’s the cash? Hurry up!

CLAIRE.

Calm down!

(After closing the door, she returns to behind the counter and resumes her paperwork).

You think I̵