Out From the Underworld

Heather Siegel

Description

FOREWORD REVIEWS INDIES BOOK OF THE YEAR AWARD, FINALIST 2016

READERS FAVORITE FIVE STARRED REVIEW, SILVER MEDALIST 2015

EAST TEXAS WRITERS' GUILD BOOK AWARDS, 3rd place, 2015

A basement apartment, an undertaker, three resilient kids, and the mysterious disappearance of their mother. Forty years later, in this heartbreaking, uplifting, and darkly humorous coming-of age memoir set in the 1970s and 1980s, one daughter explores the truth of what happened.

Heather Siegel was six years old when her mother disappeared, sending her funeral director father into a tailspin that took Heather and her siblings down with him–from a comfortable suburban home to a barely habitable basement apartment, a dark world they soon found themselves fighting to return to from the exile of foster care, then fighting even harder to escape. Forty years later, Heather Siegel tells the remarkable story of how she and her siblings, Jaz and Greg, banded together to find out what happened to their mother and fight their way Out from the Underworld with nothing but their wits, determination, unbreakable bonds and gifts for humor and compassion to sustain them. A wrenching, inspiring story filled with heartbreak, hope and love, Out from the Underworld will move you to laughter and tears.

PRAISE FOR OUT FROM THE UNDERWORLD:

"Heather Siegel has taken the raw material of an unusually deranged childhood, and done with it what very few can do: fashioned a piece of writing so smart, funny, and insightful that, as we read, we see the narrator growing from a street-smart little cynic into a remarkably understanding woman. More one cannot ask of any memoirist."
- Vivian Gornick

"A graduate summa cum laude of the school of hard knocks, Heather Siegel has written this dark, riveting memoir with refreshing if mordant humor, rueful tenderness and compassion. She is a stunningly gifted storyteller."
- Phillip Lopate

"Heather Siegel is a master storyteller like none I have encountered."
- Sarah Cottrell, HUFFINGTON POST BOOKS

"Heather Siegel's unforgettable memoir is authentically heartbreaking, but also filled with the kind of dark humor that will have any reader turning pages, eager to keep up with her masterful storytelling. Revelatory in many ways about childhood, parenting, family, identity, forgiveness and, above all, survival, Out From The Underworld examines some of life's greatest tragedies with admirable honesty, exquisite detail and a redemptive insight that is both inspiring and illuminating."
- Julia Fierro, author of CUTTING TEET​H

"It's about mental attitude and how positive change is achieved against all odds, and it's about accepting parents for who they are rather than who they 'should' or could become. Out from the Underworld illuminates one woman's transformation and serves as a beacon guiding pathways of possibility for others to follow."
- Diane Donovan, MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW
​
"Heather Siegel writes well - really well. And her story is so astonishing you'll be tempted to check the cover again to see the word "Memoir" - but memoir it is, and what a journey! Gripping and compelling, filled with the kind of nuanced details that only someone who lived through this could write. An impressive debut from a talented writer."
- C.E. Lawrence (Carole Bugge), award-winning author of the "SILENT" series thrillers

"If Frederick Douglass or Elie Wiesel could rise above, why can't I? These are the questions a precocious young girl is forced to ask when, after an idyllic beginning full of Oz-like dazzle, she's suddenly dropped into the black hole of foster care. She spends the rest of her life investigating what went wrong. What she learns is this: demons can be holy messengers; empathy must be balanced with responsibility; and managing the shit sandwich that life foists upon us is part of the human condition. And it's our duty to rise above. Thank you, Heather, for showing us how."
- Elizabeth Koch, publisher

"Out From the Underworld" is one of those stories that shows how people can rise from difficult situations and prove society wrong. If you have a dream, intelligence, resourcefulness, and a sense of humor, you can accomplish anything."
- Stacie Gorkow, THE GAZETTE

"While Siegel was a victim of parental neglect and emotional abuse, she does not present herself as a victim. Rather, she shows strength and gritty determination. Heather Siegel is a role model for each of us, teaching us how to meet difficult circumstances head-on and overcome them. Out from the Underworld is a book I will not forget."
- Deborah Lloyd, READER'S FAVORITE, 5 star review

"Heather Siegel has written a funny, painfully honest, and ultimately inspiring coming-of-age memoir. Her story of escaping a dysfunctional family and coming to terms with both her dead mother and demanding father, is a great read."
- Alan Rinzler, Editor

Sujets

• Vie de famille
• Parentalité et Éducation des Enfants
• Soutien psychologique et conseils familiaux
• Personal Memoirs
• Biography
• Autobiography

Informations

• Publié par: eBookIt.com
• Date de parution: 15 février 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781456638887
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Praise for Out from the Underworld
"A graduate summa cum laude of the school of hard knocks, Heather Siegel has written this dark, riveting memoir with refreshing if mordant humor, rueful tenderness and compassion. She is a stunningly gifted storyteller."
Phillip Lopate, author of The Art of the Personal Essay and Portrait Inside My Head

"Heather Siegel has taken the raw material of an unusually deranged childhood and fashioned a piece of writing so smart, funny and insightful that, as we read, we see the narrator growing from a street-smart little cynic into a remarkably understanding woman. More one cannot ask of any memoirist."
Vivian Gornick, author of Fierce Attachments and The Situation and the Story: The Art of Personal Narrative

"Heather Siegel’s unforgettable memoir is authentically heartbreaking, but also filled with the kind of dark humor that will have any reader turning pages, eager to keep up with her masterful storytelling. Revelatory in many ways about childhood, parenting, family, identity, forgiveness and, above all, survival, Out from the Underworld examines some of life’s greatest tragedies with admirable honesty, exquisite detail and a redemptive insight that is both inspiring and illuminating."
Julia Fierro, author of Cutting Teeth

"Heather Siegel has written a funny, painfully honest and ultimately inspiring coming-of-age memoir. Her story of escaping a dysfunctional family is a great read."
Alan Rinzler, Consulting Editor

"Out from the Underworld reads with the compelling drama of a thriller, yet it actually is Heather Siegel’s story. It documents not only her survival of a broken childhood, but also how Siegel forged a life above and beyond any label of ‘victim’ or ‘damaged’ and perhaps this is its greatest strength. It’s about mental attitude and how positive change is achieved against all odds, and it’s about accepting parents for who they are rather than who they should be or could become. Out from the Underworld illuminates one woman’s transformation and serves as a beacon guiding pathways of possibility for others to follow."
Diane Donovan, Midwest Book Review

"Heather Siegel’s story is so astonishing you’ll be tempted to check for the word ‘memoir’ but memoir it is, and what a journey! Gripping and compelling, filled with the kind of nuanced details that only someone who lived through this could write, Out from the Underworld is an impressive debut from a talented writer."
C. E. Lawrence, author of Silent Stalker

"‘Why did my mother disappear? Why does my father live in a basement? If Frederick Douglass and Elie Wiesel could rise above, why can’t I?’ These are the questions a precocious young girl is forced to ask when, after an idyllic beginning full of Oz-like dazzle, she’s suddenly dropped into the black hole of foster care. What she learns is this: Demons can be holy messengers; empathy must be balanced with responsibility; and managing the shit sandwich that life foists upon us is part of the human condition. And it’s our duty to rise above. Thank you, Heather, for showing us how."
Elizabeth Koch, founding editor and publisher, Black Balloon Publishing
Out from the Underworld




Heather Siegel
Copyright © 2015—2022 by Heather Siegel
All rights reserved.

Out from the Underworld by Heather Siegel
www.heathersiegel.net


No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the express written permission of the publisher, except where permitted by law.


ISBN 978-1-4566-3888-7

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data



Cover Photo: © Jill Battaglia/Arcangel Images
To Joan Elizabeth Fine
Acknowledgements
I AM ESPECIALLY GRATEFUL to my husband, Jonathan Siegel, for his perspective on life and for always trying his best; to my sister and brother, Jasmine Fine-Margulies and Gregory Fine, for their love, friendship and cackling laughter through the years; and to my daughter, Julia, for teaching me how to be a mother and reminding me what it’s all about.
Thanks also to my friends, who never judged me as I was growing up but, rather, made me feel sane about the absurdity. Karen Morea, Laura Stanwood Collins, Paula Cammiso, Amy Wasserman-Redaelli, Tami Fox-Natal, Siggy Fontana, Kristie Romano-Fatscher, Jennifer Lerner, Tracey Jimenez, Patricia Scaccio and Jennifer LiCausi, thanks for laughing with me.
Thanks as well to my writing friends and mentors, who encouraged me to overcome my shame and to tell this story. A special shout-out goes to the warm, charismatic Phillip Lopate, who pushed me to "aim higher," in reading and writing, and to Vivian Gornick for her insight.
And to Greenpoint Press: Charles Salzberg for taking on this book and letting me be a part of the Greenpoint community, Robert Lascaro for an excellent design, and Gini Kopecky Wallace for a beautiful and meticulous edit.
Lastly, I’d like to thank my parents, for the early years and for giving me something worth writing about in the first place.
Table of Contents
Praise for Out from the Underworld
Acknowledgements
PROLOGUE
1. MANHATTAN
2. ACCESS DENIED
3. THE WAITING STATION
4. FUNERAL DIRECTOR
5. HEATHERINA
6. THE COURT RULES
7. A PATTERN
8. THE SHOEBOX
9. THE G.O.B. FUND
10. THE OUIJA BOARD
11. THE EXHUMATION
Shoebox Photos
About the Author
While I have changed some names, places and dates, this is, unfortunately, a true story.
Prologue
"H OW DID I GET SO LUCKY?" I ask my daughter, strapping her into the car seat and tickling her toddler belly. "Huh? How did I get the best little girl in the world?" I kiss her doughy hands, the soft blond hairs on her arms, and she squeals with glee. I could stand here all day and lavish her with affection if not for the window of opportunity that will surely close on the other end of this drive if I don’t keep moving.
Three more delicious kiss-tickles. I can’t help myself. I want her to know how loved she is. I want her to know that I will always be that single person in her life who will put her needs before my own if only because, or especially because, I know too well how it feels to be without that person, floating without a center when the gravitational force of the family disappears.
I could go there in my imagination, as I often do, to see my mother flying through the air like a starfish long limbs akimbo, fresh-milk skin, hair dyed red, all the promise of her unrealized life held in that brief second before she thudded onto the pavement. But I won’t. Not today. Not in front of Julia. Not on this gorgeous spring morning.
I call my father as I pull from the driveway. It will take forty minutes to drive from the North Shore to the South Shore of Long Island, and I hope that he has remembered our visit.
"Just wanted to let you know that we’re on our way, so don’t go anywhere, okay?"
"Is that my Daddy?" Julia looks up from her game of Spider. One hand is the insect, the other is the caretaker. "I’ll take care of you, Spider. Spider, don’t worry, I got you." She pats her hand.
"No, it’s Grandpa. Remember, we’re going to see your Grandpa today?"
She smiles four teeth. She loves her Grandpa as much as I do, even if she can count on one spider hand the number of times she’s seen him.

T HE HOUSE LOOKS UNCHANGED after all these years. White asbestos shingles, black shutters, a ranch home not unlike the others on this tree-lined block in Bellmore. Unexpectedly, my heart ramps up as I knock on the door.
Too many musty memories.
Inside the foyer, Julia in my arms, the darkness swallows me up, and I stand there amazed, even after all these years, to see how he’s managed to transform this three-bedroom ranch home into a virtual basement.
"Hey there, Pookie." He steps from the bedroom wearing, no doubt, last night’s romantic get up for the newest lady in his life: maroon satin pajama pants and no shirt. At least his outfit has evolved. Or has it? I would wager that his lucky zebra bikini underwear is lurking beneath those satin pajamas.
He kisses Julia’s cheek, then mine. The smell of hair dye, Very Black, wafts out from his goatee, which, like his hair, combed into a slick ponytail, reveals a purplish hue along the hairline.
"She got big," he says as I set her down. She has spotted a cat in the living room.
"A lot happens at this age," I say, following her.
He ignores my dig.
Dust and cat hair coat the oak floor. Three litter boxes are arranged as if they are fixed furniture: one beneath the glass-and-wrought-iron coffee table, one next to the black leather sofa, the last tucked next to the upright piano that hasn’t been played in half a century.
"Did you get another cat?" I ask, sitting down gingerly at the edge of the couch.
"Nah, Haley’s been shitting on my bed, the little pain in the ass. The vet told me I should get some extra litter boxes."
"Did he also tell you to put them in your living room?" I say, aware of how obnoxious I sound. How can I help it?
I feel for the lamp beside me and find the ridged knob.
"I don’t want that on."
"Dad, come on, it’s ridiculously dark in here."
He shakes his head, as if I’m the one who’s crazy for not having nocturnal vision, as if it’s perfectly normal to hermetically seal all the windows with shades.
As my eyes adjust, I can see in the dim light that things are worse than I thought. Is that a pile of dried cat vomit on the floor?
"Hey, did I tell you about this great cleaning lady I found?" I say. "She’s really meticulous, and I’d be happy to pay for her…."
"I thought you were coming for a visit," he says flatly. "Besides, I do my own cleaning."
"Okay, Dad."
And to my delight, he chuckles. We both know very well what his so-called cleaning routine is, and let’s just say it involves one wet paper towel and no soap.
"She’s adorable." he says, almost pained, watchin