The Mediator's Toolkit

Gerry O'Sullivan

Description

Learn how to formulate and ask penetrating, paradigm-shifting questions for successful outcomes in any conflict

• Author is the director of O'Sullivan Solutions
• She is a member of the Mediators' Institute of Ireland
• She has delivered conflict and mediation training with the US-based group Lawyers Without Borders
• This is the first book written about mediators' questions - a key tool for successful mediation
• The author has developed the "S Questions Model", a toolkit of the kinds of questions that can be asked of disputing parties in various contexts
• The book covers the theory behind the questions types, why they are asked, how they work, when they are used, and how they are built and applied
• It provides detailed training on how to ask the strategic, powerful, incisive questions that are needed to challenge and change thinking and perspectives
• Shows the reader how to work safely and with integrity in highly emotional mediation contexts
• The author's instructional video on YouTube has had over 40,000 views
• Intended Audience: Mediators;lecturers and trainers in mediation;lawyers;coaches;facilitators;counsellors, police officers and peace keepers

International:

• Author lives in Castlegregory, County Kerry, Ireland
• She is a member of the mediator's institute of Ireland
• She has worked as a mediator and trainer in Cuba, Palestine, UK, Serbia, North Ireland, Romania and Berlin
• Countries that have strong history in mediation are: Canada, US, New Zealand, Australia, and the UK
• In the European Union, France, Germany, Greece, Italy, Sweden, Denmark, Norway and Spain have or are implementing mediation laws

Learn how to formulate and ask penetrating, paradigm-shifting questions for successful outcomes in any conflict.

Knowing how to formulate and ask incisive questions to get to the core of a conflict, challenge entrenched thinking, and shift perspectives are the main challenge for mediators and the key to successful conflict resolution.

The Mediator's Toolkit employs the author's powerful "S Questions Model," to provide readers with the skills and tools to develop and ask strategic questions that result in successful outcomes in any context. The S Questions Model tool kit dives into four dimensions of successful questions for mediation: the subject matter dimension, the structure dimension, the information seeking dimension, and the shifting thinking dimension. The tool kit clearly explains:

• The theory behind each question type, including exploration of relevant neuroscience and psychology
• The purpose of different types of questions
• How the questions work
• When to use different types of questions
• How to build and apply questions to mediation in a non-threatening way.

This essential practical guide will radically sharpen, focus, and improve the questioning skills of qualified mediators, students, lecturers, trainers, and those using questions to challenge and effect change, in any context.

Acknowledgments
Glossary

Introduction
     Book Content
     Terminology
     Sequences of Questions

SECTION I: The S Questions Model — Theory
Chapter 1: Introduction and Purpose of the S Questions Model
     The S Questions Model
     Premise on Which the S Questions Model Has Been Developed
     Outline Summary of the Model
     The S Questions Model
     The Purpose of Mediation Questions
     Perspective and Paradigm

Chapter 2: How We Process and Communicate Information
     How Information Is Processed
     Factors That Contribute to the Information That We Process
     The NLP Model of Communication
     Our Created Paradigm Becomes Our Reference Point for Interpreting Information
     How We Communicate Information to Others
     Distortion, Deletion and Generalization When Communicating to Others
     The Surface Structure Language We Use When We Communicate with Others
     Using Mediation Questions to Create a Paradigm Shift

Chapter 3: Working with the Brain in Mediation
     The Brain
     Working with the Avoid-threat Reflex in Mediation

SECTION 2: Practical Application of the S Questions Model
Chapter 4: Methodology to Minimize an Avoid-threat Reflex When Asking Questions
     Methodology

Chapter 5: The S Questions Model Applied to a Mediation Process
     Reflective Preparation for Questions
     The S Questions Model
     S Questions Model Applied to Initial Separate Meeting
     S Questions Model Applied to Joint Meeting

SECTION 3: Practical Application of S1, S2 and S3 Questions
Chapter 6: S1: The Subject Matter Dimension of Questions
Chapter 7: S2: The Structure Dimension of Questions
Chapter 8: S3: The Seeking Information Dimension of Questions

SECTION 4: Practical Application of S4 Questions
Chapter 9: Introduction: The Eight Types of S4: Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions 91
     S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions

Chapter 10: S4: Journey of Inference Questions
     S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Journey of Inference Questions
     How Do Journey of Inference Questions Work?
     When to Ask Journey of Inference Questions
     Methodology

Chapter 11: S4: Neuro-Linguistic Programming Questions
     S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Neuro-Linguistic Programming Questions
     How Do Neuro-Linguistic Programming Questions Work?
     When to Ask Neuro-Linguistic Programming-based Questions
     Methodology

Chapter 12: S4: Distinction and Difference Questions
     S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Distinction and Difference Questions
     How Do Distinction and Difference Questions Work?
     When to Ask Distinction and Difference Questions
     Methodology

Chapter 13: S4: Reflective Connecting Questions
     S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Reflective Connecting Questions
     How Do Reflective Connecting Questions Work?
     When to Ask Reflective Connecting Questions
     Methodology

Chapter 14: S4: Cognitive Elements-based Questions
     S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Cognitive Elements-Based Questions
     How Do Cognitive Elements-based Questions Work?
     When to Ask Cognitive Elements-based Questions
     Methodology

Chapter 15: S4: Other People Questions
     S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Other People Questions
     How Do Other People Questions Work?
     When to Ask Other People Questions
     Methodology

Chapter 16: S4: Underlying Interests Questions
     S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Underlying Interests Questions
     How Do Underlying Interests Questions Work?
     When to Ask Underlying Interests Questions
     Methodology

Chapter 17: S4: Future Focus Questions
     S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Future Focus Questions
     How Do Future Focus Questions Work?
     When to Ask Future Focus Questions
     Methodology

Endnotes
Index
About the Authors
A Note about the Publisher

Sujets

• EDUCATION
• Counseling
• List of counseling topics
• Arbitration
• Teacher education
• List of toolkits
• Conflict resolution
• Professional development
• Psychotherapy
• Psychology
• Negotiation
• Mediation
• LAW
• Résolution

Informations

• Publié par: New Society Publishers
• Date de parution: 18 septembre 2018
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781771422864
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 7 Mo

Extrait

Praise for

The Mediator’s Toolkit

All the most important conflicts we face today, from war and politics to workplace and domestic disputes, are sparked by the brain’s responses to conflict. In the last few years, groundbreaking neurophysiological research has led to profound new understandings of how the brain works, and to immensely creative, powerful new ways of responding to conflict. Gerry O’Sullivan has written a wonderful, well-researched, fascinating and practical toolkit for mediators that offers fresh new insights into how we can help our brains discover the questions that can transform conflicts into opportunities for resolution, learning and improved relationships. It is a terrific read, and one you will relish and be grateful for.

— Kenneth Cloke, mediator and author ofThe Dance of Opposites: Explorations in Mediation, Dialogue and Conflict Resolution Systems Design.

An invaluable analysis, not merely of questions, but of a range of process interventions, to equip mediators in all sectors to deepen the effectivenes s of their work with people in dispute. Mediators have to work in the moment, exercising their intuition in a flash as to what to do next and how. This book will help to develop the internal base from which such intuitive insights emerge.

— Tony Allen, Mediator and Senior Consultant to CEDR, London

As a mediator and trainer this is a must have book. It fills a gap in the literature that has long been ignored but goes to the heart of mediating conflicts.The M ediator’s Toolkit: Formulating and Asking Questions for Successful Outcomesthe right balance between theory and strikes practice making sure mediators know what to ask; why these questions are important; and the theoretical foundations of the cognitive shift the questions seek to initiate. O’Sullivan’s examples and cases are reflective of a mediator’s reality making the toolkit a valuable book to buy in hardcover and keep on the desk.

— Dr. Juan Diaz-Prinz, Mediator and Trainer in Conflict Management, Berlin, Germany

The M ediator’s Toolkit stands out among all teaching, self-help and learn ing books for mediators (professionals and wanna-bes), and their trainers, because it touches the part of mediator’s art which most professionals only reach through sweat and blood during many mediations: the art of knowing how, when and why to ask the timely felicitous questions. This is revealed masterfully in the ‘S Questions Model’ dev eloped by O’Sullivan. This book will immediately go to the must-have/reading lists and w ill become one of my everyday reference books. The content is so well organised, it is an e asy-to-use source of information and an inspiration for creative mediation work.

— Irena Vanenkova, international mediator, Moscow, Russia; director, Singapore International Mediation Institute; former executive director, International Mediation Institute

Questions are the steering wheel for navigating difficult conversations, and at long last mediators have a valuable guide in theToolkitM ediator’s . The book dives deep into the psychology of information and emotion in conflict situations, illustrating in nuanced detail how well crafted questions can lead conflicting parties to a wider u nderstanding and therefore better outcomes. Highly recommended for facilitators and negotiators as well as mediators.

— Jennifer Beer, author,ediator’s HandbookThe M ; Negotiation instructor, Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania

Thoroughly enjoyable read as well as an invaluable resource for mediators in training and experienced mediators, which will become an immedia te “classic.” The accessible writing,

illustrations, case studies, and questions make it a must-read on our programme Reading Lists. I look forward to continuing to dip in and out of the book in my own preparation for and reflection on my mediation practice.

— Treasa Kenny, Academic Programme Coordinator and Lecturer, Edward M. Kennedy Institute for Conflict Intervention, Maynooth University, Ireland

The M ediator’s Toolkitis a rare thing indeed — a practical manual built on a solid foundation of knowledge and theory. Set out in an engaging, user friendly format, this book fills a crucial gap in mediation skills and practice — knowing WHY and HOW different questions work at various junctures in mediation, instead of just pro viding a list of interventions. Drawing on cutting edge research in psychology and neuroscienc e, this book gives both novice and experienced mediators new insight into their practice, and a concrete and easy to use model for improving this practice and developing their skills to a very high level. This book is essential reading for all students of conflict and mediation, and should have a place in the briefcase of every practising mediator, no matter how experienced.

— Sabine Walsh, President, Mediators’ Institute of Ireland, Course Director, MA Conflict Management, St. Angela’s College Sligo

Questioning is often an unknown territory that O’Su llivan unravels.ediator’s ToolkitThe M is a most welcome, useful, and sophisticated addition to the mediation and conflict coaching field. It synthesizes and explains the tools that are most relevant to questions in a user friendly, while intelligent fashion, with a view to practice. It will be a reference book for the serious hands-on professional for years to come.

— Dr. Antje Herrberg, CEO, Mediateur; Adjunct Profe ssor in Peace Mediation, College of Europe; Former Member of the UN Standby Team for Mediation

During my 24 years of mediating, I have always felt there has been insufficient attention given to the role of effective use of questions as part of the mediator’s toolkit. Indeed in my experience most mediator training and texts only pay cursory attention to this skill-set.The M ediator’s Toolkitand clearly fills this gap. It provides mediators with a clear conceptual skillfully framework to structure their questioning, clearly s ets out the theoretical and psychological underpinnings to these techniques and then in some detail gives practical examples of how these questions may be used in mediation. While clearly w ritten with mediators in mind, it is an invaluable resources to all those looking to resolve conflict.

— James South, Mediator and Managing Director, The Centre for Effective Dispute Resolution (CEDR), London

Text copyright © Gerry O’Sullivan 2018.

All rights reserved.

Cover design by Diane McIntosh. Cover images (question marks): ©iStock:139378660; 1 49150786; 154137367; 177342698; 453903049; 473634274; 480113679; 495066924; 4996322 16; 540519136; 576715772; 700929440; 822694260; 8 27147872; 888184030

Images: © Simon Olley Water background © adobestock_67829647; Beach background © MJ Jessen

First printing September 2018.

Inquiries regarding requests to reprint all or part ofThe M ediator’s Toolkitshould be addressed to New Society Publishers at the address below. To order directly from the publishers, please call toll-free (North America) 1-800-567-6772, or order online at www.newsociety.com

Any other inquiries can be directed by mail to: New Society Publishers P.O. Box 189, Gabriola Island, BC V0R 1X0, Canada [phone]

L IBRARY AND A RCHIVES C ANADA C ATALOGUING IN P UBLICATION

O’Sullivan, Gerry, 1953-, author

The mediator’s toolkit : formulating and asking que stions for successful outcomes / Gerry O’Sullivan.

Includes bibliographical references and index. Issued in print and electronic formats. ISBN 978-0-86571-897-5 (softcover).--ISBN 978-1-550 92-690-3 (PDF).--ISBN 978-1-77142-286-4 (EPUB)

1. Mediation--Handbooks, manuals, etc. 2. Negotiation--Handbooks, manuals, etc. 3. Conflict management--Handbooks, manuals, etc. I. Title.

HM1126.O88 2018

303.6’9

C2018-902685-5

C2018-902686-3

New Society Publishers’ mission is to publish books that contribute in fundamental ways to building an ecologically sustainable and just society, and to do so with the least possible impact on the environment, in a manner that models this vision.

To my wonderful sons Raymond and Carl

Contents

A CKNOWLEDGMENTS G LOSSARY I NTRODUCTION

Book Content

Terminology

Sequences of Questions

SECTION 1: The S Questions Model — Theory

C HAPTER 1 : I NTRODUCTION AND P URPOSE OF THE S Q UESTIONS M ODEL

The S Questions Model

Premise on Which the S Questions Model Has Been Developed

Outline Summary of the Model

The S Questions Model

The Purpose of Mediation Questions

Perspective and Paradigm

C HAPTER 2 : H OW W E P ROCESS AND C OMMUNICATE I NFORMATION

How Information Is Processed

Factors That Contribute to the Information That We Process

The NLP Model of Communication

Our Created Paradigm Becomes Our Reference Point for Interpreting Information

How We Communicate Information to Others

Distortion, Deletion and Generalization When Communicating to Others

The Surface Structure Language We Use When We Communicate with Others

Using Mediation Questions to Create a Paradigm Shift C HAPTER 3 : W ORKING WITH THE B RAIN IN M EDIATION The Brain

Working with the Avoid-threat Reflex in Mediation

SECTION 2: Practical Application of the S Questions Model

C HAPTER 4 : M ETHODOLOGY TO  M INIMIZE AN  A VOID-THREAT  R EFLEX  W HEN A SKING Q UESTIONS Methodology C HAPTER 5 : T HE S Q UESTIONS M ODEL A PPLIED TO A M EDIATION P ROCESS

Reflective Preparation for Questions

The S Questions Model

S Questions Model Applied to Initial Separate Meeting

S Questions Model Applied to Joint Meeting

SECTION 3: Practical Application of S1, S2 and S3 Questions

C HAPTER 6 : S 1 : T HE S UBJECT M ATTER D IMENSION OF Q UESTIONS

C HAPTER 7 : S 2 : T HE S TRUCTURE D IMENSION OF Q UESTIONS

C HAPTER 8 : S 3 : T HE S EEKING I NFORMATION D IMENSION OF Q UESTIONS

SECTION 4: Practical Application of S4 Questions C HAPTER 9 : I NTRODUCTION : T HE  E IGHT  T YPES OF S S4: HIFT  T HINKING D IMENSION OF Q UESTIONS

S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions

C HAPTER 10 : S 4 : J OURNEY OF I NFERENCE Q UESTIONS

S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Journey of Inference Questions

How Do Journey of Inference Questions Work?

When to Ask Journey of Inference Questions

Methodology C HAPTER 11 : S4: N EURO -L INGUISTIC P ROGRAMMING Q UESTIONS

S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Neuro-Linguistic Programming Questions

How Do Neuro-Linguistic Programming Questions Work?

When to Ask Neuro-Linguistic Programming-based Questions

Methodology C HAPTER 12 : S4: D ISTINCTION AND D IFFERENCE Q UESTIONS

S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Distinction and Difference Questions

How Do Distinction and Difference Questions Work?

When to Ask Distinction and Difference Questions

Methodology C HAPTER 13 : S4: R EFLECTIVE C ONNECTING Q UESTIONS

S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Reflective Connecting Questions

How Do Reflective Connecting Questions Work?

When to Ask Reflective Connecting Questions

Methodology C HAPTER 14 : S4: C OGNITIVE E LEMENTS-BASED Q UESTIONS S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Cognitive Elements-Based Questions

How Do Cognitive Elements-based Questions Work?

When to Ask Cognitive Elements-based Questions

Methodology C HAPTER 15 : S4: O THER P EOPLE Q UESTIONS

S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Other People Questions

How Do Other People Questions Work?

When to Ask Other People Questions

Methodology C HAPTER 16 : S4: U NDERLYING I NTERESTS Q UESTIONS

S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Underlying Interests Questions

How Do Underlying Interests Questions Work?

When to Ask Underlying Interests Questions

Methodology C HAPTER 17 : S4: F UTURE F OCUS Q UESTIONS S4: The Shift Thinking Dimension of Questions — Future Focus Questions

How Do Future Focus Questions Work?

When to Ask Future Focus Questions

Methodology E NDNOTES I NDEX

A BOUT THE A UTHORS

A N OTE ABOUT THE P UBLISHER