The Every-Year Itch

Kirsten De Bouter Shillam

Description

Everyone
feeling the “itch” of life. People at a crossroads, looking for a career
change, longing to travel or move home, learn something new. Those fed up
with the same old routine. And those left wondering “Is this it?”

Understanding why they might have got into a rut and
why change in any form might be scary.

Clarity on their itch and what to do about it.

Insight into resistances they might be facing, real or
imaginary.

Motivation and
inspiration to really take personal action, knowing they are not alone.

Sujets

• Santé et bien-être
• Développement personnel
• Entrepreneur
• Crossroads
• Business
• Economics
• Self-help
• Career
• Assertiveness
• Work?life balance
• Entrepreneurship
• Emprendedor
• motivation
• Employabilité, métiers et formations
• Careers
• Carrière
• Carrière & Mobilité

Informations

• Publié par: Practical Inspiration Publishing
• Date de parution: 05 décembre 2019
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781788601191
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

First published in Great Britain by Practical Inspiration Publishing, 2019
© Kirsten de Bouter Shillam, 2019
The moral rights of the author have been asserted
ISBN 978-1-78860-120-7 (print)
978-1-78860-119-1 (epub)
978-1-78860-118-4 (mobi)
All rights reserved. This book, or any portion thereof, may not be reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
Every effort has been made to trace copyright holders and to obtain their permission for the use of copyright material. The publisher apologises for any errors or omissions and would be grateful if notified of any corrections that should be incorporated in future reprints or editions of this book.

ITCH
What’s itching to get your attention?
The brain - leaning over to the right?
Your future your way
What is stopping you?
Take a hint from your mind and body
Time travelling to explore your itch
PIVOT
From scared of life to a sacred life
Feel the (self-)love
The chronic scarcity of confidence
The every-year itch and your well-being
Feed the machine and run the engine
Surrender, escape, navigate
PLAY
The bridge of change
Be in your element - it’s ele-meant to be
Turn the wor(l)ds around
The experiment - trying on for size
Coaching: guru-free but guided?
If your life was a currency, how would you spend it?
MY REASONS FOR WRITING THIS BOOK
Across my 24 years of working with people I have come across so many great people confining themselves to doing average things. They feel like imposters, they suffer fear and low confidence and end up playing small. They follow the herd instead of carving out their own path. I’ve worked with some of you and what a pleasure it has been to see you find your element and see you shine. Life and work doesn’t get any better than that.
As part of the book-writing process I’ve come across extraordinary stories of people who have actioned their itch or just decided to do life differently. Interestingly, most of you have embarked on a humbling life’s journey and often didn’t recognise at all that the processes and the results you keep having are an inspiration. These stories need to be shared. There is so much strength and motivation in knowing that you (and I) are not alone.
To my Dad in heaven and to my Mum and “big” sis – you all too often reminded me of the securities in life and the ways life is supposed to be done. I understand that on the face of it, my life was anything but conformist. You were however always genuinely right. But still I believe there is more than one way of doing something; there are hundreds of ways and doing it differently is mine.
I’ve written this book to lead by example and action my own itch. I want to forge the way; not be the one that just says the nice words. This book is my itch, my unapologetic document of my conviction that there is more to every person, that life can be filled in as many ways as there are individuals and in doing so each makes a contribution to the rich tapestry of life.
This book signifies a start not a conclusion. I want to open the conversation, not prescribe a way of life. I want to invite you to try and colour outside the lines, think inside-out, find your element and ultimately action your every-year itch time and time again.
DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE THIS? BE TRUTHFUL
Do you ever get that feeling that something isn’t quite right? A sense that aspects of your life aren’t flowing, or that the emphasis is on all the wrong things? Do you at times feel uncomfortable, out of sync without being able to explain eloquently exactly what is the matter? When somebody asks what’s the matter, you say “oh, nothing”.
Do you wish you were in a different job/town/country, running a company, training to become the fittest you, planning for a trip, learning a new skill? Do you wish you were challenging yourself in art, in public speaking, in writing, in connecting, in learning, in slowing down, in living with more integrity?
Maybe you feel bored and uninspired . You used to get upset about it, but now you just feel resentful and bitter. You wonder what the hell is wrong with you when the rest of the world seems to have it all sewn up. Why them?! Has cynicism become your general mode of translation, or are you crippled by self-doubt?
Your body talks to you. It tells you stop, but you don’t listen. It tells you refuel, but you carry on. It tells you stretch, but you stick to what’s familiar. Faithfully your body supports your lifestyle, making small sacrifices and never complaining until it’s quite far down the line. Does it not amaze you why people relentlessly engage in the “ I’m-so-busy ” or the “I need to go faster” race?
Maybe you have achieved success, small or large dependent on who is measuring. Money was supposed to settle every debt and fill every hole. How come that even with all the trappings of life, you still feel unsettlement ? Wasn’t there the promise of worry-free land at the end of it all?
What about the plans you had , the dreams you dreamt? The things you started and discarded? What about the things you believed one innocent day were possible for you? Do they come and tap you on the shoulder from time to time, giving you that undeterminable shiver of discomfort, that oh yes-moment? Do they knock on your door and do you open?
After all the box ticking and the following of sensible advice, you are still running on the treadmill going nowhere very fast. It’s paying the bills and keeping you so safe that you run the risk of being immobile . When the sun shines you might forget about it, but in the rare moments of solitude, you realise in fact that life is short.
It doesn't need to be this way.
These are the stories I have heard for over 24 years from people from all walks of life. The successful, the famous, the sole trader, the company owner, the new start up, the working parent, the millennial, the student. Without exception they all wanted something different, something more adventurous or settling, something self-determined, something in tune with their talents, more true, something more fun, energising and ultimately something more personally successful.
They all had an itch. An every-year itch. Maybe undiagnosed, or fully acknowledged, but an itch that made them uneasy. It turned up frequently and they tried to ignore it. They were reminded of it, they planned to address it, but without seeing it through. The itch to live differently. The itch to unleash untapped talents, personal power and potential, to only be reminded that it’s safer to play inside. The itch to think bigger, the itch to stand for something, the itch to dare to be unique and yourself.
They were awake to the fact that there could be more to their lives. That their goal or aspiration however big or small needed seeing through in order to change their world.
Some had no idea how to define their itch, some didn’t know they could have one. They simply added up the visible experiences in life and drew the conclusion that they didn’t fit or weren’t good enough. Some were aware of an itch but simply couldn’t believe that there would ever be a way to go after it, amidst the common rules they tried to adhere to. Some had a screaming itch, an urgency, but didn’t know where to begin.
In working with these people and organisations, I learned that people are so much better than their experience in life leads them to believe. Tapping into the resources that people have or encouraging them to expand their vision brings endless sustainable creativity and inspiration. It brings settlement and collaboration. If we are wasting the resources of the planet we live on, then we certainly haven’t even begun to tap into the vast resource of human capability.
There is a different way in these changing times with endless possibilities. This unease is no longer something that people sense every seven years. It’s real, it’s necessary and it’s something that you can do something about with the right support, skills and inspiration.
Welcome to the Every Year Itch.
Join the journey. After reading this, your life will not be the same.
READ IT DIFFERENTLY!
Carry the book around in your workbag, handbag, schoolbag, or try and fumble it into a coat pocket if it will fit. Have it next to your bed, on the kitchen table. This is about your itch! Don’t find time to read this book, make time. Read it on the run and whilst reading, change the run.
Read this book front to back, in reverse or start somewhere in the middle. Maybe use it as an “Oracle” and open the book at a random page and see if it holds a message for you that day. Don’t use this book how you have been taught to.
Use this book to refuel your fire, spark ideas and to remind yourself of what you want to achieve. Use it for daily motivation. In the process let the book become weathered with notes, page folds, highlights and the necessary blemishes, stains and tears that mean that you have actively worked with your itch. Reflect and act.

DON T READ THIS BOOK AS A TEACHING MANUAL ON HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE.
YOU HAVE YOUR LIFE AND YOU HOLD ALL THE CARDS.

IN OTHER WORDS . . .
AVOID
NEAT BOOKMARKS,
FINDING SACRED READING HOURS AND USING SEPARATE NOTEBOOKS
Take on the journeys in Itch, Pivot and Play. Above all, keep it light:

Whatever speaks to you loudly: stop and spend time.
Experiments: try on for size when it feels right.
Play with words. Let words speak to you in different ways aside from their conventional meaning.
“Cynical self alerts”. These voices will rear their little nagging heads trying to make you listen. It’s a voice, but not necessarily yours. Consider it, don’t let it consume you. Cynicism is rarely constructive.
Allow yourself to be moved. Play, discover and look at something from a different viewpoint. Many new, small beginnings create a new movement. Do something differently today and again tomorrow.
PEOPLE ARE SO
MUCH BETTER
THAN TH