The mission of submission

René De Groot

Description

What an encouraging book! This is the wonderful, inspiring story of a marriage literally rebuilt by the Lord. I was hooked" from the opening paragraph of the Introduction! Using a careful rendering of Scripture, Rene presents a compelling, in-depth explanation why men and women have conflict and heartache in marriage. With heartrending honesty, both Rene and Jacqueline tell their sides of the story--the struggles and loneliness and despair. From an existence without much cheer, and lots of strife, this couple found God's plan for harmony and joy, and share the plan so others can also experience the full blessing that only God can give." Marabel Morgan, Author of the million-plus bestseller 'The Total Woman'

Sujets

• Famille
• Couple

Informations

• Publié par: Editions l'Oasis
• Date de parution: 01 janvier 2018
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781603833349
• Langue: English

Extrait

The Mission
 
of
 
Submission
 
Digging out the root
of conflict and tension in marriage.
 
© 2009, René et Jacqueline de Groot
 
 
All rights reserved. Except for brief excerpts for review purposes, no part of this book may be reproduced or used in any form without written permission from the publisher.
 
 
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from the New International Version.
 
This Kindle version published by Editions l’Oasis, 9, Route d’Oupia, 34210 Olonzac, France.
Email [e-mail].
 
 
TABLE OF CONTENTS
 
Preface by Marabel Morgan
Introduction
Part one: before the problem. How did God create man and woman?
Chapter one The original situation
Chapter two God's original creation
Chapter three Headship in fellowship
Chapter four Some wrong teachings on headship
Part two: What was the initial problem and how did it affect the relationship?
Chapter five The initial problem
Chapter six The consequences
Part three: what is the solution and how can we apply it?
Chapter seven The solution
Part four: what are the practical implications in every day's life, marriage and Church?
Chapter eight The day-to-day applications, part one: marriage
Chapter nine The day-to-day applications, part two: Church
Part five: Jacqueline's testimony (and René's reaction)
About the authors

 
Preface by Marabel Morgan
 
 
"What an encouraging book! This is the wonderful, inspiring story of a marriage literally rebuilt by the Lord. I was "hooked" from the opening paragraph of the Introduction! Using a careful rendering of Scripture, Rene presents a compelling, in-depth explanation why men and women have conflict and heartache in marriage. With heartrending honesty, both Rene and Jacqueline tell their sides of the story--the struggles and loneliness and despair. From an existence without much cheer, and lots of strife, this couple found God's plan for harmony and joy, and share the plan so others can also experience the full blessing that only God can give."
 
Marabel Morgan, Author of the million-plus bestseller ' The Total Woman '

 
Introduction
 
 
How it all began
 
"You'll need to become a man first"! She said it more as an observation and a statement, not at all in an accusatory way. I couldn't find a hint of disdain or sarcasm in her beautiful gray green eyes. Still, it hurt deeply. I knew she was right, although I didn't have the slightest idea what she was really talking about. Our relationship had only just begun. I was 24, she was 27. My background was far from easy. My father had been in many ways a good man; he worked hard, had never run away and he loved his wife until the end. He helped with the washing up and other household chores, but he never was the real 'man', or 'dad' in the house. In a way he was my mother’s fifth child, who got his pocket money on Thursday evening, so he could go off shopping. He never wanted to take any responsibility in the home as a father towards his children, and I cannot recall one single conversation with him all through my youth. The typical picture I have in my mind is him sitting in his chair, with his headphones on, listening to his favorite music, absorbed in his own little world. With Santa Claus, he always got the biggest gifts! When we were away on holidays, he always went off on his own, rarely doing anything with his three sons, and only then when it was in line with his own hobbies. So I grew up without any male role model, no one to identify with, and worst of all, no one to encourage me as a man.
 
 
Sliding away… and getting up again
 
So the stage was easily set for me to fall into the trap of drugs the very first time it presented itself to me at the age of 13. I very rapidly went down that road with great enthusiasm, and after 7 years of increasing drug abuse, I found myself on the brink of mental disaster. I cried out to a God I didn't know yet, instinctively knowing I was going to need something, someone, very powerful to get me out of that mess. That was all God needed, and He miraculously put His hand on me, and led me to a Christian center in the South of France, where I slowly recovered, and found my roots in God and His Word.
 
All in all it took me the better part of six years to recover, and get a grasp on my own mind again. It was a long and difficult battle. The place was located in a remote part of the Montagnes Noirs (Black Mountains), in a tiny little village of about 10 houses. The countryside was beautiful, and there was a lot of outside work to do: gardening, a trout farm, rabbits etc. This, together with the love and acceptance I found there, combined with excellent Christ-centered Bible study helped me chase away the huge mass of lies and deception that had accumulated in my mind in a very short period of time. However, everything I found there could only help me to a certain extent, and I desperately needed some 'real-life' experience to shape and deepen my newfound faith and relationship with God.
 
 
Love at first sight
 
On one of my yearly holidays to Holland, my native country, Jacqueline and I met at a friend's place in my hometown of Schiedam, and it was love at first sight. I wasn't looking for a woman at that point in my life, but God found it time to bring her in. I guess He thought I needed to learn a few practical lessons. I was immediately fascinated with this woman, more than three years older than me, obviously very well settled socially, in her church life and workplace, nicely dressed and good-looking. On the other hand I had become a real hillbilly, used to working outside in the sun in shorts and T-shirt. We hardly ever went to town, so my clothing wasn't at all appropriate, neither was my hairstyle! The only females I ever came across in our tiny village in France were two old ladies, who only very recently had discovered the use of a toilet and whom we still found somewhere in the village, as had been their habit for decades, doing what they should have been doing in their newly installed bathrooms. So I wasn't that used to being around the other sex either.
 
Still, there was definitely chemistry between us, and we immediately felt at ease in each other's company. A couple of days later, I had to go back to France, and I prayed: "God, if she is the one destined for me, let her contact me first!" And I forgot all about her. Several months later, a letter arrived. It was from Jacqueline. She wrote that she 'wanted to keep me updated with the youth group of her church'. I still remember holding that letter in my hand, as if God smiled upon me, saying: "Didn't you pray for that, now what are you going to do?" As for the youth group, I couldn't care less; it was Jacqueline I was after! However, I just wrote a nice, polite letter back, not showing my excitement at all. In a flash another letter came, which thrilled me to the core. Jacqueline wrote that she hadn't been honest with me in her letters, and that in fact the only reason she wrote to me was because she liked me! So I wrote back to tell her the feelings were completely mutual! A period of letter and telephone dating began, until we decided it was about time she would travel to the South of France, and see the way I lived. It was then we actually had the first real opportunity to talk to each other, and she very directly gave me her observation of my masculinity, or, more accurately, the lack of it.
 
So there I was, trying to figure out what she meant, and also trying to ignore the sting of what she had just said about me needing to become a man first. In hindsight, I now know God was using her to get a message to me that would set me on a course that led me to writing this book, 23 years later.
 
 
Marriage and destiny
 
The leadership of the Christian center agreed it would be a profitable experience for me to go to Holland, find a job, go to church, and have a 'normal' life for a while. So I eventually moved back to Holland, picking up on a life I had never had before.
 
We married on a rainy day in May 1987, about two years after we first met. All the photos show happy people under umbrellas! It was Holland after all!
There isn't much I can remember from our wedding sermon, but one phrase just stuck in my heart, as a precious seed, when the preacher quoted Genesis 2:15: "… to dress it and to keep it…" Again, in hindsight, I now know that God was speaking to me along the same line. Destiny was born, and it had something to do with marriage, and the radiant beautiful woman in white standing next to me at that moment in church. A passionate desire was sown in me to have a marriage as God had intended it, and to be the man God meant me to be. But, in order to make that work, it also implicated that she needed to be the woman God had intended, and that was something I needed to learn 'on the way'.
 
 
The work begins
 
I began praying every day that God would teach me. I wanted to learn, and I began to 'dress and keep' my garden as well as I could with my limited understanding of the concept. The problem was, the