Perfectly F*Cked up People

Matt Hess

Description

What matters is what we know and what we know is almost nothing. We know nothing is the same.
Meaning is what we assign it.
I watched a David Lynch video in my “set-up,” while he described his “set-up." I grabbed a pad of paper, and eventually a pen, and I began to write about my "set-up.” It immediately evolved into choosing one word from the prior page, then on to the next page to write about that word while highlighting it on the prior page. A stream of consciousness that went on for 131 words until it naturally and beautifully concluded. It took a over six hours. These words were brought forward in the middle of a pandemic, in the middle of the night, early in January 2021, like fluid poured onto the page from nowhere. The meditations have been refined countless times, but the chosen words were from that night. It felt magical. I'm not saying the writing is magical, but the process felt a little out of my hands, like magic feels to an audience. Although, I know it was just me…and the rest of the universe.

Sujets

• Philosophy
• General officer
• Poetry
• General

Informations

• Publié par: AuthorHouse
• Date de parution: 28 avril 2023
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9798823006231
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

PERFECTLY F*CKED UP PEOPLE
Meditations from a Gen X'er (Who Doesn't Know Sh*t)
MATT HESS


AuthorHouse™
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Bloomington, IN 47403
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© 2023 Matt Hess. All rights reserved.
 
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
 
Published by AuthorHouse  04/27/2023
 
ISBN: 979-8-8230-0624-8 (sc)
ISBN: 979-8-8230-0623-1 (e)
 
 
 
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
 
 
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Contents
writing
set-up
idea
akashic record
enlightenment
focus
work
identity
perfection
time
stealing
college
childhood
courage
assertive
game
threatening
control
honesty
sleep
diet
exercise
love
people
race
stereotype
natural
talent
gift
present
inspiration
killers
rugby
brotherhood
hillbillies
suburbs
pools
perspective
sculpture
display
offended
always
steer
driven
asshole
generally
infinity
imagination
priorities
bad
audience
positive
negative
text
intuition
connection
reflection
exist
gaze
intentions
football
pads
save
cool
wants
relatives
mother
bike
pretend
sacred
decisions
cosmic
artist
reciprocate
behavior
meditate
knowing
version
different
nothing
bend
future
measure
matter
leadership
water
oceans
wave
float
evolution
crazy
vision
capitalism
bees
extinct
balance
introspection
mental illness
normal
kids
pregnant
woman
listen
help
altruism
generosity
money
deserve
sky
consciousness
vulnerable
armor
disappointment
anger
hate
thank you
appreciation
smile
diabolical
boundaries
consistency
tough
women
beautiful
believe
God
approach
dilemma
end
Dedicated to:
Amy, Hayduke and Jude Hess, my mom, dads, my brothers - Andy and Sam Hess, my friends and all the other perfectly fucked up people out there.
writing
I sat down to write a world changing first line but couldn’t find a pen.
It usually sat in a juice glass on my workbench.
My mother says, “Everything has its place.”
I agreed yet my runaway pen caused me to sputter.
That was in fact, not the original first line at all.
Those words fell to the floor and crawled under my bench, with my pen.
That’s why you write it down when it’s fresh.
What inspired me was a David Lynch video when he said, “You have to have a set-up .”
It’s a place
with your stuff,
so,
you can do your stuff
on your time, when inspiration strikes.
My stuff was scattered from the last project.
So… I leaned on my mother for insight.
The creation of writing was also likely the moment humans crested and began to devolve.
This new vehicle was massive, omnipotent
and helped us scheme ways
to unwittingly destroy ourselves.
Writing also gave us the tools to save ourselves.
The outcome is undetermined, but I remain optimistic.
Ideas: good, bad, ugly and awful all passed on exponentially
without consideration of truth, motive or the future.
Not unlike the internet.
If it’s written, it must be true.
Simply accepted.
Mass ideas spread.
Convenience spawned.
Importance became vague.
Want, want, want, over need, need, need, now we slide, slide, slide and tumble toward the end.
We’ve always slid toward the end I suppose.
The big question is, “did we live a positive life?”
Did we leave a positive legacy?
That’s the theme of these meditations.
A good, positive life.
It’s been written…
set-up
I’ve had a lot of set-ups over the years.
Some for music,
art,
writing,
sports.
The low ceiling of the dark Ludlow cellar had a flip top door to step down into.
I wrote stories mostly but picked up the guitar.
It sat next to me while I wrote.
Accessible, available, alluring.
I’ve had many set-ups between that one and my current one.
Currently, I’m in a shed that I built without forethought as a three-sided woodshed.
I’ve added a floor, a fourth wall, and a porch.
If I stood up right, I’d hit my head on the rafters at the back.
It’s dry, warm, and full of my stuff, and 3 inches out of square, like me.
There’s paint, canvas, amps, guitars, computer, pad and pen,
all surrounded by
art, tools, artifacts, oddities, and material.
When an idea pops everything I need to create is within reach.
There’s a cartoony sculpture of a devil head in the corner.
We bought it at a barn sale in eastern Ohio on our way to Ohio U.
We weaved our way through stacks of dangerously high piled antiques and oddities.
We bought roll down maps that hung in 50’s elementary schools to give as gifts to our teacher friends, a slide whistle, and the stool I’m sitting on.
If we had money, we could have filled a U-Haul.
My wife found the guy and said, “My husband will love this. How much is it?”
He asked, “What’s it say on the tag?”
She found me and told me about the conversation.
She was right, I loved it.
I said to the guy, “I’ll give you $75.00.
He asked, “What’s the tag say?”
I knew, but looked anyway and said, “$95.00.”
He said, “It’s $95.00”
I paid $95.00.
I added a Halo above his horns.
He keeps things tight and balanced.
idea
The elusive idea that’s there one second and gone the next.
I’ll remember it – poof - gone forever.
Some of the best ideas I’ve had, found me.
Most did.
They coincided with silence, stillness, and relaxation of my mind.
The idea for this project found me that way, sort of.
But I stand at the stream’s edge poised to slip in and see where a new idea takes me.
I jump further than I know I should and hope to be swept away into
the cosmic realm of timelessness, and boundless creation.
It’s almost not conscious.
Not unconscious, but more like not being conscious of consciousness.
Acting with the full resources of your being on impulses that are not directed by you or from you, but are, and always have been part of you.
Focused through you. Fully absorbed.
Stress is the enemy. It’s blinding, and binds like dry bowels.
Meditation is like hallucinogenic drugs.
It gives one the ability to see, what normally they cannot.
To see through the chaos.
Tap into what is, has been and always will be.
The Akashic record .
The collective conscious.
Knock down boundaries.
Let it speak.
There for the taking.
Do not seek.
You will find.
Something like that.
Write ideas down.
Evaporation is real.
Record songs.
They slip ethereal.
Put paint to canvas.
The flow will go.
While meditating, an image slipped into my mind’s eye.
I saw myself moving paint with an air compressor.
Techniques grew from there.
Some sold, some given away, others lay ready for the next booze and picture show.
They hang in my house, in my kid’s rooms, and all over my set-up.
I like them. Some more than others. I like most that I followed through.
akashic record
Everything that was, is, or will be is already known to the infinite universe.
All the energy that ever was, is or will be, already is, and will continue to be.
It changes form.
Every solution to every undiscovered problem is out there.
That’s God, right? Or no?
The solution waits for the right circumstances.
The idea,
innovation,
solution,
invention manifests.
Infinite wisdom of the universe is there for us all, all the time.
We set the stage for access.
Enlightenment .
To know whatever we need, or desire is there to be tapped into like a universal library.
Ingredients are available.
Combined in unique ways.
New!
Existing, always existing, yet “new” ideas to us at a particular moment in time
come forth to our conscious.
They came from within us.
We are part of the universal energy.
We are part of its wisdom.
Or maybe God is a guy with a beard, and we just need to ask him for shit.
Who knows?
God does I guess, or not.
I already told you.
I don’t know shit!
enlightenment
Siddhartha was my first window into enlightenment.
The idea seemed so right.
I believed it and I believed everyone wanted to be great and find peace.
Self-actualization, Maslow. I loved this too.
Full potential as a human being.
Authentication of self, which in some cases means letting go of self,
or what you thought you were and being who you are.
Continue on the path.
Stay on the path.
Every path is different, but the destination is similar.
Everyone is different, but the feeling is similar.
Fulfilled.
Satiated.
Content.
Doors opened through meditation, prayer, or