Crazy Bastard Trapped in Haunted Whore House

Danny Salazar

Description

A new age of Horror
A family of three leave their home to start a new life in a town called "Skank Hill Nevada." Only this town wasn't exactly what they always dreamed of. Dealing with their crooked Landlord and their own personal family issues, they then finally meet another family who is just as screwed up as they are.

Sujets

• Horror
• Hurlements 2
• Fiction

Informations

• Publié par: iUniverse
• Date de parution: 30 août 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781663241696
• Langue: English

Extrait

Crazy Bastard Trapped in Haunted Whorehouse
 
 
 
 
Danny Salazar
 
 
 

 
CRAZY BASTARD TRAPPED IN HAUNTED WHOREHOUSE
 
 
Copyright © 2022 Danny Salazar.
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
 
This is a work of fiction. All the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
 
 
 
iUniverse
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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
ISBN: 978-1-6632-4170-2 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-6632-4203-7 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-6632-4169-6 (e)
 
Library of Congress Control Number: 2022911996
 
iUniverse rev. date:    08/25/2022
CONTENTS
Chapter 1Skank Hill, Nevada
Chapter 2One Hundred Thirteen Years Later
Chapter 3Stanley, the Fuck-Up
Chapter 4Las Vegas
Chapter 5Moving Day for the Barstool Family
Chapter 6Moving Day for the Cherry Family
Chapter 7Family Home Cleaning
Chapter 8Skank Hill Arrival
Chapter 9Old Man Peter Returns
Chapter 10Dead Fucking Landlord
Chapter 11Wake ’n’ Bake Morning
Chapter 12Fucked-Up Sister
Chapter 13Taryn and Stanley
Chapter 14Skank Hill Tour
Chapter 15The Happy Bastard
Chapter 16Disco Fever
Chapter 17Blind and Drunk
Chapter 18Time to Leave
Chapter 19Together Again
Chapter 20Skank Hill Zombies
Chapter 21Run, Bitch, Run
CHAPTER 1 Skank Hill, Nevada
April 23, 1865
Two weeks after the end of the Civil War
Skank Hill was a small, rugged town, established as a new community in Nevada. Hundreds of travelers from all over the country couldn’t have been happier as they settled into life after a long journey of riding on their stiff wooden wagons. The town was still new and growing and didn’t have many businesses yet—only a Chinese pig farm run by Irish immigrants; a tarot card–reading service belonging to an ex-slave owner (she was addicted to opium and ate roadkill); a homosexual jailer who kept the town in check with his homosexual ways; and the last place at the far end of the road, a bright-white plantation home known as the town’s saloon whorehouse, called the White Man’s Tuna Twat Palace.
The Irish guy who ran the whorehouse, should have been running the pig farm. It was paradise to the new settlers, but that didn’t last long since two drunken morons were plastered at the gambling table in the middle of the whorehouse playing Three-Card Monte. Clayton and Flynn were their names, two bank-robbing brothers who started trouble wherever they went. They were well known as the Dodge City Villains, two rotten criminals from Kansas, but karma played against them this time.
“Do you hear all those newcomers outside making this town their new home, Flynn? Everybody thinks just because a town has just been established as part of this country that they can claim any piece of land they want!” Clayton said.
“We did the same thing, baby brother, so let’s not be hypocrites,” Flynn whispered, hoping Clayton wouldn’t make another horrible scene in front of everyone, like he had done many times before.
“Shut the fuck up, Flynn. I don’t think anybody here asked you for your goddamn opinion!”
Flynn didn’t want to respond; he knew it would cause nothing but drama in public, and he didn’t want every eye in the whorehouse staring at them. It was already bad enough that they were wanted, dead or alive, in almost every state. Drawing attention to themselves could go wrong. He ignored his brother’s rude behavior and continued playing cards without even thinking about it.
The whorehouse was packed that day. The drifters and the travelers kept piling in to see the amazing White Man’s Tuna Twat Palace. Their colorful grand opening decorations made the place look fantastic. Every beautiful whore at the palace was working on every floor to please as many customers as possible.
After about an hour of playing cards, the brothers’ cheap Overholt whiskey bottle was almost empty, and Clayton was thirsty for more. “Hey! Pretty lady, do you think you can take your ass behind the bar and fetch me another bottle of this shit? We’ve been here longer than most people, and I think it’s fair to say that we should get served first, before everybody else.” He hammered his fist on top of the table.
Although it was a whorehouse, their crazed-out waitress, who came to work looking like a train wreck because she was badly hungover from the night before, wasn’t going to deal with anyone’s shit that night. She made sure to lay that on Clayton, being as strict as she needed to be. “Look here, you big-lipped fucking monkey. My pussy may be wet, but I’m not trying to fuck with you right now! You’d better not rush me again, or I will steal your horse and make your mama suck its big-horse fucking dick, just like the good old days.” Everybody in the whorehouse overheard her as she stuck it to Clayton; she trying her best to make him feel salty for his rude behavior.
But the mean and drunken Clayton wasn’t feeling salty at all. His face was bright red, and he shot steam right back at her. “Look here, bitch! This is a fucking whorehouse, so you’d better start acting like one, or I will go over to your mama’s house and make one out of her!”
Flynn couldn’t believe that his brother was causing a scene again. Like any other good brother would have done, he tried to help Clayton calm down in any way possible so that, hopefully, the rest of their night would go smoothly—benefitting themselves but mainly everybody there. But as much as Flynn wanted everything to go perfectly right, it was far too late for that.
Many people were at the whorehouse at that moment, but one particular gentleman in the crowd recognized their voices from across the room—Sheriff Benson. Benson was a lawman out of Dodge City, Kansas, and he knew all about Clayton and Flynn, back when they caused all kinds of mischief. Now, as he sat in his chair at a poker table, trying his best to enjoy his visit to this new town of Skank Hill, Nevada, he was left with no choice but to rise slowly from his seat and walk over to their table to take them both into custody. Normally, he would have avoided the entire situation, but the brothers’ criminal reputation had preceded them, and the rewards on the wanted posters could make Sheriff Benson a rich man; that made it almost impossible to turn his back on them.
“Looks like I got you two boys now, and don’t even try to move because I have a loaded revolver pointed right at your backs. If you try to run, I will open fire with this motherfucker and allow everybody to witness your brains splatter all over your laps. Let’s not make this too difficult, gentlemen. When I ask you to stand on your feet, start heading out that front door so I can hog-tie both of your asses to my wagon. It’s going to be a long trip back to Dodge City, boys; let’s start moving out now!”
Sheriff Benson should have known that Clayton and Flynn were not going to go out that easily. As they rose from their seats and headed toward the front door, Clayton began to speak as if it was his last words on earth. “Please, Sheriff, we don’t need to go through all of this. My brother and I haven’t been in trouble with the law for years. We came to Skank Hill to start our lives over again so we can finally learn how to be good men, like every child of God should be.”
Sheriff Benson didn’t want to hear any of their excuses, and he continued to direct them toward the front entrance. “I don’t feel sorry for no convict’s, boy, and I sure as hell ain’t going to start today with your stupid asses! The only thing I feel sorry about is your poor, worthless, bitch mother, who must face the fact that her two fucked-up sons are nothing but a waste of breath on this earth and need to be publicly hanged so the whole town can see your little chicken necks snap like tree twigs!”
It almost seemed like it was over for the two outlaw brothers, but God must have been on their side. With Sheriff Benson feeling sure that he had Clayton and Flynn right where he wanted them, he suddenly made the biggest mistake of his law enforcement career. He did the one thing that no officer of the law should in the line of duty—he turned his back on his captured prisoners without searching them first. Sheriff Benson wasn’t always the brightest man. Because of that, he was too stupid to know that Flynn was working his way behind him with a revolver in hand—and it didn’t help that Benson was distracted by hearing Clayton’s bullshit drunken stories of why he should let them go.
“Please! Sheriff Benson, don’t take us back to those dreadful jail cells. My beloved dead wife is waiting for me, hanging by her neck on a barbed wire rope back at home. She would have been worried about me if I didn’t make it home on time. I think it would be mighty kind of you to let me go, Sheriff, so that I can be back in her dead arms again and in her dea