Xolotl Strikes!

William Stafford

Description

Hector Mortlake and his valet Cuthbert are off on their second adventure when a book-signing tour of the States turns into a deadly race to Mexico in order to prevent a dangerous ritual that would resurrect the Aztec deity Xolotl and bring about the destruction of civilisation as we know it. Fast-moving and funny, this sequel to Kiss Of The Water Nymph will entertain fans of derring-do and innuendo.

Sujets

• Humour

Informations

• Publié par: Andrews UK
• Date de parution: 07 octobre 2015
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781785383090
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Conens

Tîe Page                        îîî Pubîser ïnormaîon                  îv Dedîcaîon                         v

Caper One                       1 Caper Two                      11 Caper hree                      23 Caper Four                      33 Caper Fîve                       40 Caper Sîx                       58 Caper Seven                      72 Caper Eîg                      80 Caper Nîne                      85 Caper Ten                       92 Caper Eeven                     96 Caper Tweve                     101 Caper hîreen                    106 Caper Foureen                    112 Caper Fîteen                     119 Caper Sîxeen                     128 Caper Seveneen                   138 Caper Eîgeen                    149 Caper Nîneeen                    154 Caper Tweny                     162

Aso Avaîabe                      165

XOLOTL STRIKES!

A Hecor Morlake Advenure

Wîîam Saford

Publiser Informaion

Xoo Srîkes! Pubîsed în 2015 by Andrews UK îmîed wwwandrewsukcom

he rîg o Wîîam Saford o be îdenîIed as auor o îs book as been assered în accordance wî secîon 77 and 78 o e Copyrîgs Desîgns and Paens Ac 1988

Copyrîg © 2015 Wîîam Saford

hîs book îs sod subjec o e condîîon a î sa no, by way o rade or oerwîse, be en, resod, îred ou or oerwîse cîrcuaed wîou e pubîser’s prîor wrîen consen în any orm o bîndîng or cover oer an a în wîc î îs pubîsed, and wîou a sîmîar condîîon beîng împosed on e subsequen purcaser

he caracers and sîuaîons în îs book are enîrey îmagînary and bear no reaîon o any rea person or acua appenîng

For Lee

Caper One

“Wî e îne srec ou o e crack o doom?” he ausîon was os on my man Cuber bu e caug e gîs “ha’s e as one, guv,” e saîd în e Cockney accen a berayed îs pace o orîgîn ï ad o admî ï was reîeved o ear î, bo e words and e accen a deîvered em ï ad been a ong day gîvîng înervîews o a e popuaîon o New York Cîy, î seemed, wo woud en scurry away o Ie eîr copy so a e oer a coud read a abou î By ‘î’ ï mean me and my new book, wîc was goîng down someîng o a sorm în e coonîes – î ï may ca em a sî; ï suppose ï may no ï oosened my sarced coar “Dînner en?” “ï’s a arranged, guv ï oug you mîg îke î up în your room,” and en e added wî a wînk, “and e dînner and a” ï reddened Even oug we were aone în e baroom o e Grand Cenra Hoe, ï coud no ave suggesîve remarks o a naure ou în e open “ï am amîsed,” ï ad o own “Wîe ï dîne, you may run my ba” “Hurra!” “And en, wîe ï bae, you may run ou or e evenîng edîîons Some o e înervîews ï gave îs mornîng mîg ave appeared în prîn” Cuber’s andsome ace e Ceary, e ad envîsîoned a more parîcîpaory roe în my ba îme Wî souders sumped în a dîspay o dîsappoînmen, e wen o summon e ît, or ‘eevaor’ as e naîves ca î We, ere woud be none o a wîe ï was în own ï regard myse as someîng o an ambassador or e Engîs anguage Sînce wînnîng eîr îndependence, e Amerîcans ave apsed în eîr aderence o e moer ongue Someîmes, a eow woud be orgîven or înkîng ey were makîng î up as ey wen aong

We rode up o e penouse suîe – ï ad însîsed on e bes rooms e esabîsmen ad o ofer and o my surprîse, my pubîser ad readîy agreed ï ad expeced a bî o a scrambe and ad prepared my argumen, unnecessarîy as î urned ou “îsen, od duck,” ï ad reearsed în my mînd, “ï’ve made you a prey penny wî myWaer Nympsory and î’s ony Iîng a ï soud be couced în uxury so ï may dream up anoer money- spînner” Bu, as ï ave înîmaed, e od duck was acquîescen o a au ï seemed e coudn’ ge me ou o e counry as enoug he cruîse îner across e Aanîc ad been a edîous afaîr Cuber and ï ad barey suraced rom our cabîn, ossed as we were by e coppy waers And en, as nîg, we docked, cacîng ony a gîmpse o a enormous saue e Frencîes ad donaed a wîe back A errîyîng woman wî bank eyes and a poîned crown, odîng aot a orc ï don’ know î you’ve seen î, bu ï woud ave sen î back sarpîs – e bay îng ad aready urned a urîd sade o green Wa a îbery! And en oday, ater an abomînabe breakas o pancakes and syrup (ï ask you!) î ad been an înermînabe round o înervîews and e akîng o poograps Ater a wîe, a e quesîons began o bur îno one and ï coud ear my own answers soundîng încreasîngy La, e umour draînîng ou o em îke aîr rom a puncure ï perked up a îe ater unceon, durîng an a-oo- brîe a-our’s respîe rom înerrogaîon, enjoyîng Cuber’s ‘banana surprîse’ Bu now, wî e dînner gong ong reurned o sîence, ï was în need o someîng more orîyîng ï can be very draînîng, you know, akîng abou onese a e îveong ï pu paîd o wa e ocas ca a oo-ong wîe Cuber Ied e ub în e adjacen room “ï’ jus pop ou en, sa ï?” my vae jerked îs umb oward e door a ed o e corrîdor and e res o e Unîed Saes beyond “Uness, you need me o gîve you a and”

ï sook my ead, en, dabbîng a e crumbs around my mou wî a napkîn, ï însruced îm no o dawde or ge dîsraced and o reurn orwî ï mîg never say so o îs ovey ace bu every îme e eaves my sîg, ï ee a pang o anguîs a ï sa never se eyes on îm agaîn We ave been roug so muc ogeer aoug a year ago we were unacquaîned – î you wan o know abou a, ï suppose you wî ave o înves în a copy o e book ï was expendîng a grea dea o îme and energy on promoîng And, ï suppose, ere îs someîng o însecurîy and jeaousy în my înkîng ï am errîIed a e wî ose îneres în me – ï am an oder man o îry o îs weny-wo summers ï do no wîs o consîder a îme wen ï mîg ave o conînue aone wîou Cuber workîng under me “Sîr” e îngered under e îne, “you won’ pu e pug, wî you, sîr?” “And wy no?” “ï was înkîng ï soud îke o ge în oo, sîr Ater you, o course” “Very we” “ï’d bes pop of en, sîr” “ï înk you beer ad” He smîed, a opsîded, îrresîsîbe smîe and broug me o e brînk o submîssîon o îs wîses and aowîng îm o go o work on me wî e ooa hen wî a wînk a was aogeer înapproprîae, e pued e door ater îm and was gone ï was aone – save or e memory o my nanny’s voîce, warnîng me o e perîs o submersîon so soon ater a repas, bu ï dîsmîssed a gos as one mîg an erran wîsp o cîgar smoke, wî a wave o my and ï made my way îno e baroom he îed Loor was cod benea my ee as ï wrîgged ou o my weeds and aîd em on e caîr Cuber ad so ouguy provîded ï owered myse îno e seamîng waer – e emperaure woud ave saîsIed Godîocks – and rîed o Ind someîng on wîc o Ix

my îmagînaîon raer an a recurrence o e orrors a ad beaen my eow raveers and ï durîng our î-aed sojourn a e Gasaus du ac Bu ere was no scay caw o emerge rom benea e soapy suds ï seems a by wrîîng ou e sory, ï ad exorcîsed e demon rom my mînd Even so, ï eeced o recîe ou oud severa o e dîîes Nanny ad aug me back în e nursery days ï ay back agaîns e porceaîn he room, oug eegany appoîned, was sma and aready drîppîng wî condensaîon he mîrror opposîe was couded and e was, îed o mac e Loor, were we and srouded în mîs My rendîîon abou e od man and îs nîck-nack paddywack os some o îs guso as e bawaer worked îs sooîng properîes on my îmbs ï dîpped a Lanne în e deps beween my knees and en aîd î La across my ace ïn e damp and darkness ï was abe o îmagîne od Morpeus îmse beckonîng me o îm or an embrace he baroom dîsappeared and en reappeared wî a jo, as a sudden noîse made me sî bo uprîg he Lanne e rom my ace wî a spas “Heo?” ï caed ou, no îkîng e remoo în my voîce or î berayed e ear wîîn me Answer came ere none ï îsened, my ears prîcked îke ose o any wacdog, bu ere was no seque Ou în e suîe, usurped sîence resumed îs reîgn ï pued myse o my ee and sepped rom e ub ï cînced a owe o uxurîous coon around my waîs and padded o e door ï decîded agaîns caîng ou agaîn, even o ask Cuber î e was presen ï oped însead or îsenîng How quîcky ï began o sîver! ï ascrîbe îs o e sudden cange în emperaure raer an any în o error, ï woud ave you undersand Bu weer you beîeve a or no, î soon became apparen a ï coud no sand ere în perpeuîy or ï soud cac my dea rom pneumonîa or exposure or some suc

Seeîng myse, ï kep one and on e kno o my owe and wî e oer reaced or e knob, wîc ï wîsed beore pusîng e door open jus wîde enoug or me o înrude my damned oo ead îno e room beyond A was în order – or so î seemed o my eyes, wîc dared around o a corners, rapîdy akîng în e scene here was no sîgn o anyone presen and e exerna door was as cosed as î was e as ï saw î Encouraged, ï pused e door urer and sepped ou o e baroom ï saw en e source o e noîse bu no e cause he abe on wîc ï ad aîd my noebooks, înk and a, ad been quîe overurned he bue-back îquîd was seepîng îno e rug ï coud pîcure my pubîser’s ace draînîng o coour jus as e boe was gîvîng up îs conens he upse woud upse îm, rîg enoug ï dîd my bes o mînîmîse e spîage, rîgîng e boe and pacîng sees o paper on e pudde o soak up as muc as was possîbe As or e abe, a woud ave o waî unî Cuber’s reurn ï was no abou o soop o manua abour wen ï keep a îred and o do a my eavy îtîng Wo ad done îs? ï coud no ep askîng myse he mos cursory gance înormed me e wîndows were su and ocked Eîer, my braîn suggesed, e abe Lîpped îse A over T or or e abe-Lîpper îs sî presen! ï roze – we, apar rom e caerîng o my ee and every aîr on my body sîrrîng because ï was reezîng – and moved noîng bu my eyes hey î upon e oes o a paîr o soes pokîng ou rom under e em o a ong and eavy curaîn here was e cuprî! He mus ave beîeved e suîe o be empy and ad begun o ransack e pace – or wa ï do no know – and en e eard me nîck- nackîng and paddy-wackîng în e ub and ad conceaed îmse a once he bîger!