Summary of Kristin Neff's Fierce Self-Compassion

Everest Media

Description

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.
Sample Book Insights:
#1 Women are fed up with traditional gender roles and societal power structures that restrict their ability to express the full range of who they are. They are allowed to be soft and nurturing, but if they are too fierce or angry, people call them names.
#2 The Marvel Comics writer Jack Kirby was so amazed by a car accident he saw and a mother’s effort to lift a three-thousand-pound vehicle to save her baby trapped underneath that he created the Incredible Hulk.
#3 Women still live in a male-dominated society, and we need all the tools we can get to overcome this and emerge victorious. One of the most powerful weapons in our arsenal is caring force, which can be used to propel our personal journey of growth and healing at the same time that we fight for justice.
#4 The latest development in my work is the unpackaging of the fierce and tender sides of self-compassion. I have found that everyone, regardless of age, gender, or culture, judges that it’s better to care for and help rather than harm others, and that justice matters.

Informations

• Publié par: Everest Media LLC
• Date de parution: 21 mars 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781669356431
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Insights on Kristin Neff's Fierce Self-Compassion
Contents Insights from Chapter 1 Insights from Chapter 2 Insights from Chapter 3
Insights from Chapter 1

#1

Women are fed up with traditional gender roles and societal power structures that restrict their ability to express the full range of who they are. They are allowed to be soft and nurturing, but if they are too fierce or angry, people call them names.

#2

The Marvel Comics writer Jack Kirby was so amazed by a car accident he saw and a mother’s effort to lift a three-thousand-pound vehicle to save her baby trapped underneath that he created the Incredible Hulk.

#3

Women still live in a male-dominated society, and we need all the tools we can get to overcome this and emerge victorious. One of the most powerful weapons in our arsenal is caring force, which can be used to propel our personal journey of growth and healing at the same time that we fight for justice.

#4

The latest development in my work is the unpackaging of the fierce and tender sides of self-compassion. I have found that everyone, regardless of age, gender, or culture, judges that it’s better to care for and help rather than harm others, and that justice matters.

#5

I wanted to learn meditation as a way of picking up the pieces of my shattered life. I began practicing with a group that followed the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Zen Master who emphasizes the need to be compassionate to ourselves as well as others.

#6

When we are self-compassionate, we care for and nurture ourselves. When we are self-compassionate but also assert our autonomy and rights, we are fair and just. When we are self-compassionate and also comply with male dominance and female subordination, we can be powerful.

#7

Self-compassion is especially important for women today, as they have had it with being treated like incompetent. It’s time for us to be paid fairly and have equal power and representation in business and government.

#8

Self-compassion is not just a good idea, but something we can do. We can train our brains and build new habits to respond to our mental, physical, and emotional pain with compassion.

#9

You can fill out the Self-Compassion Scale, which is used in most self-compassion research, to get a general sense of how self-compassionate you are. The scale does not differentiate between fierce and tender self-compassion.

#10

When you fail at something important to you, you become consumed by feelings of inadequacy. When you’re feeling down, you tend to feel like most other people are probably happier than you are.

#11

It’s important to go slowly and at your own pace when practicing self-compassion. If you feel overwhelmed, stop and take responsibility for your own emotional safety. With caring force, anything is possible.

#12

Self-compassion is simply being a good friend to yourself. It requires no special meditation techniques, just being kind to yourself. It’s important to examine how you treat yourself when you struggle compared to how you treat those you care about.

#13

We can use our experience of compassion for others to inform how we treat ourselves. We can start to treat ourselves the way we would treat a friend, and over time it becomes more natural.

#14

Self-compassion is the act of treating yourself with the same kindness and care you would give to a good friend. It takes more than kindness alone, however, as we must be able to see our flaws, admit our failures, and put our experiences into perspective.

#15

Self-compassion is the felt impulse to help yourself through life’s difficulties. It is a warm, friendly, and supportive attitude toward yourself as you navigate life’s challenges. Too often, when we struggle, we are more likely to beat ourselves up than to put a supportive arm around our shoulder.

#16

The benefits of self-compassion are numerous. It is a mindset that is linked to happiness, optimism, satisfaction with life, anxiety, depression, stress, and fear. It is also not linked to narcissism.

#17

We can turn to the care system to help us feel safe and secure. When we do this, we release oxytocin and endorphins, which increase our feelings of security.

#18

Try out different types of touch to see how they make you feel. Linger for about fifteen seconds with each type of touch and let yourself really sink into the experience. Check in to see the effect on your body.

#19

The level of security we felt with our parents is called our attachment style. Those with secure attachment feel worthy of comfort and support, and are consequently kinder to themselves as adults. Those with inconsistent or abusive parents feel they are unworthy and unlovable, and are thus less likely to be self-compassionate.

#20

Stand up and begin by noticing the sensations in the soles of your feet. As you walk, appreciate how small the surface area of each foot is and how your feet anchor your entire body.

#21

Self-compassion is often misunderstood and seen as a weakness or a passive indulgence. But it is actually a powerful and action-oriented form of compassion that can help us alleviate our own suffering and give us what we need in that moment.

#22

The yin quality of self-compassion is about being with ourselves in an accepting way, while the yang quality is about acting in the world to alleviate suffering. The quintessential question of self-compassion is What do I need right now. and more specifically What do I need to help alleviate my suffering.

#23

When we need to protect ourselves from potential harm, the elements of compassion have a different expression. We find the courage needed to draw boundaries, say no, and be as strong as steel. When our goal is to provide for ourselves, we fulfill ourselves emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

#24

There are three forms of self-compassion: protecting, providing, and motivating. They are the most essential ways we can use self-compassionate action to alleviate our suffering.

#25

To explore the different forms of self-compassion, you can stand up and adopt a horse stance, which is a balanced, stable posture with a low center of gravity. From this position, you can take whatever action is needed in the moment.

#26

There are many forms of self-compassion, and you can use any that are helpful in the moment. The fist pump is a demonstration of the forward movement of this supportive energy.

#27

When yin and yang are balanced and integrated, it’s more constructive. We let go of patterns of behavior that aren’t serving us and take action to make things better not because we’re unacceptable as we are, but because we care about ourselves and don’t want to suffer.

#28

Jess’s typical pattern with her mother was to keep the peace for long periods, but eventually she would blow up and become resentful. She began to practice self-compassion, and found that it helped her deal with her anger and resentment.

#29

The stereotypes of yin and yang, which are typically seen in females and males, limit the expression of power in a meaningful way. They clash with the reality of how individuals feel and behave.

#30

The ideal of female self-sacrifice perpetuates an expectation that heterosexual women will meet men’s needs for sex, childbearing, homemaking, and childcare with little consideration of what’s due to them.