Reclaiming Your Sexual Self

Kathryn Hall

Description

"Kathryn Hall takes a fresh and refreshing new look at why so many women are not really interested in sex. A uniquely helpful book."
-Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger

"Women don't need medicine or magic to feel desire but rather reasons and motivation. This book provides sound strategies and sensible suggestions for overcoming sexual inertia and finding genuine satisfaction."
-Sandra Leiblum, Ph.D., Director, Center for Sexual & Relationship Health, University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey

"The many who are searching for sexual desire in an easy-to-swallow pill form may be pleasantly surprised to find it in this easy-to-read book form."
-Gerianne M. Alexander, Ph.D., Texas A&M University

At last, a drug-free, holistic program to restore sexual passion and desire

Despite what many so-called experts believe, lack of sexual desire in women does not necessarily indicate a hormonal problem. More often, asserts sex therapist Dr. Kathryn Hall, it means that something is out of balance in our lives. In Reclaiming Your Sexual Self, Dr. Hall reveals how to discover the source of your lack of sexual interest and take charge of your health. Drawing on successful methods she has used in her clinical practice, she helps you identify the imbalances that are affecting your overall well-being and get in touch with lost or neglected sexual feelings. Through a series of illuminating exercises and with Dr. Hall's wise, warm advice, you'll discover:
* Why it's okay to want sex-and enjoy it
* Ways to improve communication with your partner
* The right conditions and circumstances to spark your sexual interest
* How to maintain a vital sexual connection for the long term
* When to consult a professional


Hormone replacement therapy doesn't have to be the answer. You can reclaim your sexual self and keep desire and passion alive and well by following the proven, reassuring advice in this authoritative guide.
Acknowledgements.

Introduction.

1. Sex Doesn't Exist in a Vacuum..

2. Could the Trouble Be Physical?

3. Why Don't I Feel the Way I Used to Feel?

4. Taking Stock: What Are You Saying When You Are Saying No?

5. Reclaiming Your Sexual Self.

6. When Is Sex Right for You?

7. Getting Your Signals Straight: It's All About Communication.

8. Sexercises for the Mind and Body.

9. Sex for Life.

10. Calling on the Professionals.

Notes.

Appendix A: Sex Hormones.

Appendix B: Medications That Can Decrease Sexual Desire.

Resources.

Index.

Sujets

• Vie de famille
• Relations familiales
• Sexual Instruction
• Self-help
• Famille

Informations

• Publié par: Turner Publishing Company
• Date de parution: 21 avril 2008
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9780470308028
• Langue: English

Extrait

Advance praise for
Reclaiming Your Sexual Self

Kathryn Hall takes a fresh and refreshing new look at why so many women are not really interested in sex. A uniquely helpful book.
-Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger

In this clear and friendly book, Dr. Hall explained to me what really increases sexual desire in women. And it s not hormones or drugs. Every man should know this, and every doctor too.
-David Servan-Schreiber, M.D., Ph.D., author of The Instinct to Heal

Reclaiming Your Sexual Self is a truly terrific book! Kathryn Hall provides compelling reasons as to why so many women lose their lust for sex (if they ever had it) and what they can to revive or discover their sexual selves. Women don t need medicine or magic to feel desire but rather reasons and motivation. This book provides sound strategies and sensible suggestions for overcoming sexual inertia and finding genuine satisfaction.
-Sandra Leiblum, Ph.D., Director, Center for Sexual Relationship Health, University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, and author of Getting the Sex You Want: A Woman s Guide to Becoming Proud, Passionate and Pleased in Bed

Reclaiming Your Sexual Self provides exercises, practical advice, and case studies to help women with low sexual desire. The approach encourages women to see low sexual desire in terms of their relationships and their past life experiences. This book offers an alternative approach to the medicalization of the most common sexual dissatisfaction experienced by women.
-Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., RN, FAAN, Professor Emerita, Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey; Vice President, World Association for Sexology (2001-2005); Director, International Society for the Study of Women s Sexual Health (2002-2004); Past-president, Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality; Past-president, American Association of Sex Educators, Counselor and Therapists; and co-author of The G spot and Other Recent Discoveries about Human Sexuality, Safe Encounters: How Women Can Say Yes to Pleasure and No to Unsafe Sex, Smart Women, Strong Bones, and Outwitting Osteoporosis.

Reclaiming Your Sexual Self provides useful information and practical advice in a lively and insightful way. A refreshing aspect of the book is the absence of simple solutions for women who have lost interest in sex. Dr. Hall dispels common myths about hormonal causes of sexual dysfunction and puts sexual desire back into the context of women s lives and relationships.
-Cynthia A. Graham, Ph.D., Clinical Assistant Professor of Gender Studies, Assistant Professor of Clinical Psychology, Department of Psychiatry, Indiana University, and Director of Graduate Education, The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction

This interesting and eminently readable book comes at a critical time for women pressured to seek chemical solutions to low sexual desire. Dr. Hall helps women to understand what causes and maintains low desire and suggests various solutions through a series of practical exercises. The book contains a wealth of information that will empower women to reclaim and not blame themselves.
-Lana Stermac, Ph.D., Professor, Counseling Psychology Program, Ontario Institute for Studies in Education, University of Toronto

Highly, highly, highly recommended for everyone, not just women with wow desire. Kathryn Hall is an excellent sex therapist and she treats low desire as a messenger rather than as a disease. Men and women both will be able to find approaches in her book that can help them better understand and give meaning to lost desire. She believes that low desire means different things to different people, and she presents a number of ways of approaching it. Fortunately, she is not beholden to the drug companies and realizes the short-sightedness of automatically throwing pills or patches at whatever ails you.
-Paul Joannides, author of Guide To Getting It On, 4th Edition

Dr. Hall begins with the fundamental premise that our sexual self is much more than the sum of our biological parts. Not surprisingly, then, her book is an intelligent and frank presentation of the personal and interpersonal forces that shape our sexual interest and desire and the effective strategies for their control. A must read for every woman who wishes to understand better this important aspect of her identity. Indeed, the many who are searching for sexual desire in an easy-to-swallow pill form may be pleasantly surprised to find it in this easy-to-read book form.
-Gerianne M. Alexander, Ph.D., Assistant Professor of Psychology, Texas A M University

Everyone needs to be informed about sexuality. A wonderful sex life comes no more automatically than a wonderful trip to Paris. Preparation can help people find the good parts and deal with problems. Dr. Hall s book is addressed to women who feel they have problems with sexual desire and it includes many vignettes, suggestions, exercises for reflection, further references, and excellent insights based on her experience as a sex therapist. I will recommend this book to my patients.
-Leonore Tiefer, Ph.D., Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry, New York University School of Medicine
Reclaiming Your Sexual Self
How You Can Bring Desire Back into Your Life
Kathryn Hall, Ph.D.

John Wiley Sons, Inc.
Copyright 2004 by Kathryn Hall, Ph.D. All rights reserved

Published by John Wiley Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey
Published simultaneously in Canada

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, [phone], fax [phone], or on the web at www.copyright.com . Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, [phone], fax [phone].

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and the author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.

For general information about our other products and services, please contact our Customer Care Department within the United States at [phone], outside the United States at [phone] or fax [phone].

Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. For more information about Wiley products, visit our web site at www.wiley.com .

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
Hall, Kathryn.
Reclaiming your sexual self : how you can bring desire back into your life / Kathryn Hall.
p.cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0-471-27427-5 (pbk.)
1. Sex. 2. Hygiene, Sexual. 3. Sex customs. I. Title.
HQ21.H31355 2004
306.7-dc22

2004006064

Printed in the United States of America

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
This book is about passion and connection. This book is dedicated to Jim, who constantly affirms the importance of both.
Contents
Acknowledgments
Introduction
1: Sex Doesn t Exist in a Vacuum
2: Could the Trouble Be Physical?
3: Why Don t I Feel the Way I Used to Feel?
4: Taking Stock: What Are You Saying When You Are Saying No?
5: Reclaiming Your Sexual Self
6: When Is Sex Right for You?
7: Getting Your Signals Straight: It s All about Communication
8: Sexercises for the Mind and Body
9: Sex for Life
10: Calling on the Professionals
Notes
Appendix A: Sex Hormones
Appendix B: Medications That Can Decrease Sexual Desire
Resources
Index
Acknowledgments
I am greatly indebted to the women and men who have trusted me to be their therapist and who have shared with me their lives, their loves, their pains, and their pleasures. It was always a journey of mutual discovery. They were and are my best teachers. I have also been fortunate to have friends and colleagues who have listened to me as I struggled with the ideas that have ultimately formed the basis of this book. To those who read all or parts of the manuscript and offered their comments, advice, and always constructive ideas, I am particularly thankful: Gerianne Alexander, Linda Courey, Darson Hall, Cynthia Graham, Phyllis Marganoff, Jim Mastrich, Myron Pawliw, Claire Tondreau, and Gerald Wiviott. My brilliant editor, Lisa Considine, helped translate what happens in a private therapy hour to the pages of this book. Her insights, intelligence, patience, and unfailing support and encouragement got me through some sleepless nights. I first brought the idea of this book to the woman who became my agent, Carol Mann. Her help in getting this book out of my head and into the hands of publishers was invaluable. Thanks also go to Elizabeth Zack, who acquired this book for John Wiley Sons. From the bottom of my heart, I thank my sons, Zachary and Devin, who had to hear Wait a few times too many while I was writing this book. I am extraordinarily grateful to the mothers and fathers of Lambertville,