Decision Making & Spiritual Discernment

Nancy L. Bieber

Description

Stay spiritually grounded and open to divine wisdom as you shape your life.

"To make wise decisions, we need the aid of that wise and loving Spirit whose wisdom and light exceed our own. With the Spirit illuminating the complexities of our decisions, we can see and understand more about ourselves and our choices."
—from the Introduction

Spiritual discernment is the traditional name for listening and responding to divine guidance. In this book you will approach decision making as an active participant, a co-creator with God in shaping your life. Drawing on twenty-five years of experience as a psychologist and fifteen years as a spiritual director, Nancy L. Bieber presents three essential aspects of Spirit-led decision making:

• Willingness—being open to God's wisdom and love

• Attentiveness—noticing what is true, discerning the right path

• Responsiveness—taking steps forward as the way becomes clear.

With gentle encouragement, Bieber shows how to weave these themes together to discover the best path for you.

Each chapter is enriched by practical spiritual exercises to help you understand yourself and your specific situation, as well as to strengthen spiritual discernment as a daily way of life. An appendix includes a detailed guide for using the book in group study.

Introduction 1
1. Beginning the Journey: Navigational Tools 11
2. Seeing Clearly: Fostering Lucid Self-Perception 21
3. The Gift of Humility: Building Healthy Self-Esteem 45
4. Freeing Your Potential: Taking Action 67
5. Building Bridges of Trust: Reengaging in Relationships 95
6. Grace: The Art of Forgiveness 123
7. Know Thyself: Coming Closer to God through the Transition of Divorce 147
8. Moving Forward: Growing into the Next Phase of Life 175
A Prayer for Renewal 185
A Final Note: If You Are Considering Divorce 186
Appendix I: Group Formation and Discussion Guide 189
Appendix II: Using This Book in a Group Setting 193
Suggested Rituals to Incorporate into Group Sessions 200
Suggestions for Further Reading 203

Sujets

• Santé et bien-être
• Développement personnel
• Philosophie et théologie
• Spirituality
• Religion

Informations

• Publié par: Turner Publishing Company
• Date de parution: 14 décembre 2012
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781594733338
• Langue: English

Extrait

Decision Making & Spiritual Discernment: The Sacred Art of Finding Your Way
2010 Quality Paperback Edition, First Printing 2010 by Nancy L. Bieber
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
For information regarding permission to reprint material from this book, please mail or fax your request in writing to SkyLight Paths Publishing, Permissions Department, at the address / fax number listed below, or e-mail your request to [e-mail].
Grateful acknowledgment is given for permission to use material from the following sources: Unless otherwise stated, all biblical citations are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible , copyright 1989, Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, Patient Trust, translated by Michael Harter The Institute of Jesuit Sources, St. Louis, Mo. All rights reserved. Used with permission. Choosing Well, Living Whole from Facing East, Praying West: Poetic Reflections on the Spiritual Exercises , by Kent Ira Groff, copyright 2010 by Kent Ira Groff, Paulist Press, Inc., Mahwah, N.J. Reprinted by permission of Paulist Press, Inc. www.paulistpress.com. It Felt Love from The Gift: Poems by Hafiz, the Great Sufi Master , translated by Daniel Ladinsky. Published by Penguin Compass, copyright 1999 by Daniel Ladinsky and used with his permission. Poem by Andrew Woff used by permission of the author. All the stories here based on individual experiences have been used with permission.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Bieber, Nancy. Decision making & spiritual discernment : the sacred art of finding your way / Nancy L. Bieber. - Quality pbk. ed.
p. cm. Includes bibliographical references (p. ) and index. ISBN 978-1-59473-289-8 (quality pbk.)
1. Decision making-Religious aspects. 2. Spiritual life. I. Title. II. Title: Decision making and spiritual discernment.
BL629.5.D43B54 2010 204'.4-dc22
2010026772
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Manufactured in the United States of America
Cover Design: Jenny Buono Cover Photo: Larien G. Bieber Interior Design: Kristi Menter
SkyLight Paths Publishing is creating a place where people of different spiritual traditions come together for challenge and inspiration, a place where we can help each other understand the mystery that lies at the heart of our existence.
SkyLight Paths sees both believers and seekers as a community that increasingly transcends traditional boundaries of religion and denomination-people wanting to learn from each other, walking together, finding the way.
SkyLight Paths, Walking Together, Finding the Way, and colophon are trademarks of LongHill Partners, Inc., registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.
Walking Together, Finding the Way Published by SkyLight Paths Publishing A Division of LongHill Partners, Inc. Sunset Farm Offices, Route 4, P.O. Box 237 Woodstock, VT 05091 Tel: [phone] Fax: [phone] www.skylightpaths.com
CONTENTS
Introduction: Making a Start
PART I Willingness
1 Opening with a Yes
2 Facing Our Fears

PART II Attentiveness
3 Surveying the Situation
4 Listening to the Inner Self
5 Noticing God s Nudges
6 The Habit of Attentiveness

PART III Responsiveness
7 Testing Our Decisions
8 Step by Step
9 When We Have to Wait
10 The Harvest of Discernment

Epilogue: A Letter for Decision Makers
Guide for Groups: A Six-Session Course of Study and Practice
Suggestions for Further Reading
Acknowledgments
About SkyLight Paths
Copyright
introduction
MAKING A START
Every November my family gathers for a three-day-long reunion. From all over the country, we stream into a big cabin in the woods, all of us from the family patriarch to the youngest great-grandchild. We crowd into a large room with a fireplace, and, piling coats in the corners, greet each other with hugs and cries of delight. Games, food, books, babies, and visiting fill our days. One morning last year we sat around in a circle for a grand sharing time, telling each other of the struggles and celebrations of the year. This was our special opportunity for listening, and I listened with laughter and with tears to the stories of these people I love. What amazed me most was how much change everyone was facing. Some were choosing change, while others had it thrust upon them. But all of us were experiencing change within our lives.
Around the room, major life transitions were emerging like flowers in April. Almost everyone was moving, getting jobs, losing jobs, having babies, starting school or finishing school, taking on a responsibility or letting it go. Some were learning how to face and grapple with what they didn t choose: the loss of a spouse, diminishment of health or finances. Others were choosing change (a new house) or learning how to live with the decisions they had made (a new baby). We were confused and hopeful and scared and trusting as we sat around on couches or cushions on the floor, listening to each other while we entertained the toddlers who wandered around.
The recent college graduate reported that a couple of months ago, he felt he had as much light for his future as was provided by a flickering match. Now, he said, it was still dark but he thought he had a flashlight in his hand. A young married couple knew the direction in which they wanted to go, but the details of how to step forward into their future were still foggy. He wanted to find a new approach to teaching music, while she was drawn to both teaching and counseling. One sister was rebuilding her life after her husband s death and another sister was rebuilding hers in a new state with a new job.
Then it was my turn. I spoke about feeling restless, about sensing that I was ready for something new, but not knowing what it might be. Last summer, I told my family, I decided it was time to practice what I preached. I decided to do a spiritual discernment practice that I ve often taught to others but never used for myself.
This is the practice I used: Imagine that you are on your deathbed or are very elderly and infirm. You know you don t have a long time to live. You are reflecting on your life, looking back over its chapters. Ask yourself this question: What is there that you regret never having done?
When I posed that question to myself, an immediate answer flashed before me: Write! Well, of course, I thought. I knew that already. Writing has always called to me, but usually I ve ignored the call. Except for a few articles, I hadn t honored this persistent nagging voice. As I hesitated, wondering whether this was the time to honor that voice, it grew louder: You re in your sixties, you know. You don t have forever. If not now, when?
But I don t know anything about writing something substantial, I protested to the voice. I don t know publishing. What if I can t do it? At that point I seemed to hear the thunderous voice of my old friend Jonathan: Get out there and fail, Nancy. Just get out there. And so I began. Although I had no idea where I was going, I acknowledged that this was the time. I gave a firm yes to that persistent inner voice.
Then, I told my family at the reunion, the miracle happened. Exactly one month later I received a phone call from a woman I d never heard of. She told me she was an editor and had tracked me down to ask if I d ever considered writing a book on spiritual discernment. She d seen the publicity for retreats I had led on spiritual discernment and thought there was value in expanding the material into a book. I told the others, It took me days to recover from the shock of that call. Would-be writers just don t receive those kinds of phone calls-especially just after deciding to be a writer!
But I gave a definitive yes to the editor, my second yes to writing. It seemed as if I had no choice. The inner voice that insisted I write was the Spirit nudging me, even though it felt more like a shove off the edge of a cliff. I was going on an adventure. I invite you to join me on that adventure as we explore spiritual discernment and learn to find our way through the multitude of decisions in our lives.
Making Decisions and Spiritual Discernment
At the family reunion, the stories we heard covered a wide range of decisions. Actually, it was not an unusual gathering. Change is constant; we are always making choices or responding to events in our lives. Making decisions is part of life. Some decisions are challenging; our very survival seems to hang in the balance. The right job hasn t been offered despite lots of applications, but the bills are piling up, so you are forced to take what you can find. Or, say, you are living with a verbally abusive spouse. Must you leave and risk life alone in order to survive? Faced with such survival decisions, what should you do?
Other decisions might be called fulfillment decisions. You decide to pay attention to a dream, to follow it and see where it leads. Or perhaps a general unhappiness with the shape of your days leads you to reevaluate what s really important and what you want your life to be about. You know there is more to living than the pattern you re stuck in, and you decide to do something about it.
Still other decisions turn out to be mistakes. They have unforeseen consequences, and you have to decide how to live with them if you can t change them. Oftentimes, the decisions you have to make are about responding to something you didn t choose at all. A death, a divorce, or the loss of a job uproots you against your will. You have to learn how to live with something that is hard to live with, something you never intended to happen. Stumbling, you make decisions bo