To Train Up a Child

Michael Pearl, Debi Pearl

Description

To Train Up a Child, first published in 1994, began as a letter to a homeschool mother in answer to her question, How did you train your children to be so happy and obedient? Mike did not consider himself to be an author, nor did Debi possess the means or the knowledge to publish a book. They realized that it was a big subject that could not be put into a few pages, so they wrote a book. Friends and neighbors were consulted, gleaning their views and methods of child training. They analyzed how they were influenced by the traditions they inherited from their parents, and they looked at the methods that were unique to their family. Friends and members of their church periodically read and critiqued the manuscript as it grew to book size. Twenty one years later, To Train Up a Child has sold over 1.2 million copies in twelve languages. TTUAC has been on Amazon s best-seller list several times. This new book has added chapters and several updates. Mike and Debi have received tens of thousands of letters of gratitude and been approached by thousands of young people thanking them for their influence in the way they were raised their parents having implemented the principles expressed in TTUAC. Mike and Debi are humbled to have played a part in so many young people s lives. There has been no editing to modify their stance on spanking. To the contrary, due to the media attacks, they have expanded and strengthened their arguments for traditional, biblical child training. There are now more than a million TTUAC books circulating in the United States that will continue to stand for traditional, biblical parenting.

Sujets

• Philosophie et théologie
• Pregnancy

Informations

• Publié par: No Greater Joy Ministries
• Date de parution: 01 mai 2015
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781616440749
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 5 Mo

Extrait

r ain up to T a hild C Cîd Traînîng or te 21st Century

Mîcae and Debî Pear

To Traîn Up a Cîd: Cîd Traînîng or te 21st Century

Copyrîgt © 2015 by Mîcae & Debî Pear

A RïGHTS RESERVED. Any unautorîzed reprînt or use o tîs materîa îs proîbîted. No part o tîs book may be reproduced or transmîtted în any orm or by any means, eectronîc or mecanîca, încudîng potocopyîng, recordîng, or by any înormatîon storage and retrîeva system wîtout express wrîtten permîssîon rom te contrîbutîng wrîter or te pubîser except în te case o brîe quotatîons embodîed în crîtîca artîces and revîews. For more înormatîon contact: mco[e-mail]

Pubîcatîon date: May 2015

Prînt: ïSBN: 978-1-61644-072-5 eBook: ïSBN: 978-1-61644-073-2 ePub: ïSBN: 978-1-61644-074-9

A Scrîpture quotatîons are taken rom te Kîng James Hoy Bîbe

îbrary o Congress Contro Number: 2015937790

hîs pubîcatîon îs desîgned to provîde accurate and autorîtatîve înormatîon în regard to te subject matter covered. ït îs sod wît te understandîng tat te autor or te pubîser îs not engaged în renderîng any type o proessîona servîces. ï expert assîstance îs requîred, te servîces o a competent proessîona soud be sougt.

1. Cîd Traînîng 2. Cîdren 3. Parentîng 4. Homescooîng 5. Obedîence 6. Reîgîon 7. Jesus 8. Crîstîanîty ï. Pear, Mîcae; Pear, Debî ïï. To Traîn Up a Cîd: Cîd Traînîng or te 21st Century Revîsed & Expanded

To Traîn Up a Cîd: Cîd Traînîng or te 21st Century may be purcased at specîa quantîty dîscounts or curces, donor programs, und raîsîng, book cubs, or educatîona purposes or curces, congregatîons, scoos and unîversîtîes. Rîgts and îcensîng în oter anguages and înternatîona saes opportunîtîes are avaîabe. For more înormatîon contact:

Me Coen 1000 Pear Road Peasantvîe TN 37033 [phone] mco[e-mail]

Cover and înterîor desîgn by Aaron Aprîe Cover Potograp by ynne Hopwood Prînted în te Unîted States o Amerîca

Pubîser: No Greater Joy Mînîstrîes, ïnc. www.nogreaterjoy.org

Foreword

To Traîn Up a Cîd, Irst pubîsed în 1994, began as a etter to a omescoo moter în answer to er questîon, “How dîd you traîn your cîdren to be so appy and obedîent?” ï dîd not consîder myse to be an autor, nor dîd ï possess te means or te knowedge to pubîs a book. But as ï sat down to wrîte a etter to tîs moter, ï reaîzed tat ît was a bîg subject tat coud not be put înto a ew pages. ï consuted my rîends and neîgbors, geanîng teîr vîews and metods o cîd traînîng. ï even întervîewed my cîdren, askîng tem wat tey tougt about teîr upbrîngîng. Deb and ï anayzed ow we were înLuenced by te tradîtîons we înerîted rom our parents, and we ooked at te metods tat were unîque to our amîy. Frîends and members o our curc perîodîcay read and crîtîqued te manuscrîpt as ît grew to book sîze.

Ater about two years, tat moter Inay got a response. So ï want to tank Penny Muen or askîng te rîgt questîon. Twenty years ater, To Traîn Up a Cîd as sod over 1.2 mîîon copîes în tweve anguages. TTUAC as been on Amazon’s best-seer îst severa tîmes.

For te past 19 years we ave pubîsed a bîmonty magazîne, No Greater Joy, and wrîtten a number o books speakîng to te needs o te amîy. We ave receîved tens o tousands o etters o gratîtude and been approaced by tousands o young peope tankîng us or our înLuence în te way tey were raîsed—teîr parents avîng împemented te prîncîpes expressed în TTUAC. We are umbed to ave payed a part.

Our cîdren are a grown, rangîng rom 31 to 41 years o age. hey ave gîven us 22 grandcîdren so ar, wît two more on te way. hey ove God and are great parents, uy supportîve o teîr parents, empoyîng us as babysîtters on a reguar basîs. Our ome remaîns u o îtte runnîng eet and îs reguary strewn wît books and toys. ï am teacîng a new generatîon o boys and gîrs ow to Is and trow knîves. Deb îs teacîng te gîrs ow to cook and garden. ï am now Bîg Papa and Deb îs Mama Pear.

Our magazîne aways contaîns artîces wrîtten by our cîdren. hey oten ave însîgts tat surpass teîr parents’. Rebeka and Sosanna are pubîsed autors. Sosanna îs a speaker at erb conventîons. Saom îs a popuar speaker at omescoo conventîons and adîes’ meetîngs. Natan îs a Bîbe teacer and pubîc speaker. He îs presenty teacîng te Bîbe în a sma coege. Gabrîe îs a busînessman, a great ater wo worsîps God, and îs an actîve partîcîpant în curc actîvîtîes.

Wen ï read back over tîs book, ï was socked at some o te poor wrîtîng o 21 years ago. So ï edîted te entîre book. he content îs îdentîca, wît some addîtîons. hose o you wo are aready amîîar wît te orîgîna book wî not notîce te dîferences, except or one new capter. ï canged a ew adverbs and adjectîves, rearranged some sentences to make tem actîve înstead o passîve, and updated termînoogy to accommodate te evovîng connotatîon o popuar words and prases. ï ave aso added carîyîng prases or sentences în some înstances. he most apprecîabe dîference îs a arge sectîon on te modern move to make corpora castîsement îega. And ï ave done sîgnîIcant edîtîng and made some addîtîons to te subject o guît and se-oatîng.

here as been no edîtîng to modîy our stance on spankîng. To te contrary, due to te medîa attacks, ï ave expanded and strengtened our arguments or tradîtîona, bîbîca cîd traînîng. ï întend to be te ast man standîng. ï ï am în my grave, tere are more tan a mîîon books cîrcuatîng în te Unîted States tat wî contînue to stand or tradîtîona, bîbîca parentîng.

Table of Contents

CHAPTER 1: To Train Up a Cild ......................................................... 7 CHAPTER 2: Cild’s Nature (Understandîng a Cîd’s Natura Deveopment) .. 22 CHAPTER 3: Parental Anger ................................................................. 31 CHAPTER 4: Tying Strings ..................................................................... 36 CHAPTER 5: he Rod ............................................................................... 46 CHAPTER 6: Guilt and Self-Loating ................................................ 54 CHAPTER 7: Wat Would Rover Do? ................................................. 65 CHAPTER 8: Attack on Traditional Cild Training ...................... 70 CHAPTER 9: Applying te Rod .............................................................. 89 CHAPTER 10: Pilosopy of te Rod .................................................... 95 CHAPTER 11: Selective Subjection ....................................................... 97 CHAPTER 12: Training Examples ...................................................... 102 CHAPTER 13: Safety Training ............................................................. 113 CHAPTER 14: Potty Untraining .......................................................... 118 CHAPTER 15: Cild Labor ................................................................... 122 CHAPTER 16: Attitude Training ......................................................... 127 CHAPTER 17: Emotional Control ....................................................... 135 CHAPTER 18: Training in Self-Indulgence ...................................... 139 CHAPTER 19: Bullies .............................................................................. 142 CHAPTER 20: “Religious” Wips ....................................................... 144 CHAPTER 21: Imitations ....................................................................... 146 CHAPTER 22: Homescool Makes No Fools ..................................... 148 CHAPTER 23: he Flavor of Joy .......................................................... 151 CHAPTER 24: Personal .......................................................................... 156 CHAPTER 25: Conclusion ..................................................................... 167 Twenty-One Years Later (2015) .................................................... 171

Traîn up a cîd în te way e soud go: and wen e îs od, e wî not depart rom ît. Proverbs 22:6

CHAPTER 1

To Train Up a Cild

SWITCH YOUR KIDS

Wen you te some parents tey need to swîtc teîr cîdren, tey respond, “ï woud î ï coud Ind someone wîîng to trade.” ï ave ad cîdren în my ouse wo were enoug to gîve an eectrîc weat grînder a nervous breakdown. heîr parents ooked îke escapees rom a WWïï Poîs boxcar. Anoter our wît tose kîds and ï woud ave been searcîng te yeow pages or dîscount vasectomîes. Wîe we trîed to sît and tak, te cîdren were constanty runnîng în and out o doors, compaînîng o î treatment rom te oters, beggîng to go or stay or eat, or demandîng a toy tat anoter cîd woud not reînquîs. he moter ad to contînuay jump up and rescue some breakabe object. Se saîd, “No,” 666 tîmes în te space o two ours. Se swatted eac cîd two or tree tîmes—usuay wît er and on top o a dîaper. Oter tan mîsaîgnîng te cîd’s spîne, ît seemed to ave no efect—understandaby so.

Wen we suggest to permîssîve parents tat tey soud respond to certaîn transgressîons wît pysîca castîsement (not a karate cop to te ower backbone), some moters can ony vîsuaîze temseves urter brutaîzîng teîr cîdren, tînkîng ît wî do no good anyway! heîr “dîscîpîne” îs just “ayîng down a Ied o Ire” to gîve temseves suicîent cover to get troug to te next task. hey ave no ope o conquerîng te cîd’s stubborn wî. hey just desîre to create enoug dîversîon to accompîs teîr own mîssîon. ït îs a act tat spankîngs admînîstered by rustrated parents are as counterproductîve as not spankîng wen ît îs needu.

7

8

Anoter moter waked înto my ouse wît er îtte ones and sat down to tak. Se saîd to tem, “Go out în te sunroom and pay, and don’t boter Mama uness you need sometîng.” For te next two ours we were not even aware te cîdren were present, except wen a îtte one came în odîng erse sayîng, “Pee-pee, Mama.” hey payed togeter we, resoved teîr own conLîcts, and dîdn’t expect îndugent pacîIcatîon wen one o te gîrs turned te rockîng orse over, bumpîng er ead. hey dîdn’t run în and out, tearîng te pace apart— tey were tod not to.

hîs moter dîd not spank er cîdren wîe at my ouse, nor dîd se need to rebuke tem. Se ooked rested. Wen se caed te cîdren to go ome, one îtte eow asked, “Mama, can ï stay and pay wît Sosanna?” Moter answered, “No, not today. We ave work to do at ome.” As e îted îs arms, îs moter pîcked îm up. Huggîng îs moter’s neck, e saîd, “ï ove you, Mama.”

hîs young moter saîd to me, “My cîdren want to pease me. hey try so ard to do everytîng ï say. We ave suc un togeter.” Se îs ookîng orward to avîng more cîdren. hey are te joy o er îe.

By te grace o God and troug te sîmpe and practîca bîbîca prîncîpes ound în tese pages, and wît determînatîon and an open eart, tîs moter as traîned up cîdren wo brîng er joy and onor. You can do te same.

OBEDIENCE TRAINING

Most parentîng îs reactîve, te opposîte o proactîve. Cîdren are et to teîr own devîces untî teîr actîons are îrrîtatîng, and ten parents verbay or pysîcay wîp tem back înto îne. A cear-tînkîng parent wî ee uncomortabe wît tîs approac but may not know tat tere îs an aternatîve tat îs more comortabe and efectîve or bot te parent and te cîd. We are takîng about proactîve traînîng.

Many parents don’t tînk îtte cîdren can be traîned, but traînîng doesn’t necessarîy requîre tat te traînee be capabe o reason. Even mîce and rats can be traîned to respond to stîmuî. Careu traînîng can make a dog perecty obedîent. And a te dog traînîng books te us tat a we- traîned dog îs a ot more content tan one aowed to do as e peases. he same îs true o a cîd.

You tînk your kîds are too îtte, do you? ï a seeîng-eye dog can be traîned to reîaby ead a bînd man troug te dangers o cîty streets, soudn’t a parent expect more out o an înteîgent one-year-od? A dog can be traîned not to touc a tasty morse aîd în ront o îm. Can’t a cîd be traîned not to touc? A dog can be traîned to come, stay, sît, be quîet, or etc upon command. You may not ave traîned your dog tat we, yet every day someone accompîses ît on te dumbest o mutts. You tînk you are not quaîIed to be a traîner? Even a cumsy teenager can be traîned to be an efectîve traîner în a dog obedîence scoo.

Traînîng must be proactîve. ï you waît untî your dog îs dîspayîng unacceptabe beavîor beore you rebuke (or kîck) îm, you wî ave a oot-sy mutt tat îs aways skukîng around to see wat e can get away wît beore beîng screamed at. Were tere îs an absence o traînîng, you can no more rebuke and wîp a cîd înto acceptabe beavîor tan you can te amîy dog. No amount o dîscîpîne—and tat încudes spankîng—can make up or a ack o traînîng.

Proper traînîng aways works wît every cîd. To negect traînîng îs to create mîserabe cîrcumstances or you and your cîdren. Out o îgnorance, many ave bypassed traînîng and expected dîscîpîne aone to efect proper beavîor. ït asn’t worked, and ît never wî.

“TENNN—HUTT!!”

Wen eadstrong young men joîn te mîîtary, te Irst tîng tey are taugt îs to stand stî. he many ours o cose-order drî are desîgned to teac and reînorce submîssîon o te wî. “Attentîon!” pronounced, “TENNN—HUTT!!” îs te begînnîng o a mîîtary maneuvers. A sergeant can ca îs men to attentîon and ten îgnore tem, and wîtout urter expanatîon or command tey wî contînue to stand rozen în tat posîtîon untî tey a out unconscîous. he maneuvers “Rîgt Lank, et Lank, companeeey—at!” ave no vaue în war except tat tey condîtîon te men to înstant, unquestîonîng obedîence. heîr wî îs not broken but teîr wîuness îs. Just tînk o te reîe tat ît woud brîng î by one command you coud gaîn te absoute, ocused attentîon o a your cîdren.

As în te mîîtary, a maneuvers în te ome soud begîn wît a ca to attentîon. hree-ourts o a ome dîscîpîne probems woud be soved î you coud înstanty gaîn your cîdren’s sîent, unmovîng attentîon. “TO THE REAR—MARCH” transated înto amîy anguage woud be: “eave 9