Peck's Compendium of Fun

George W. (George Wilbur) Peck

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• Publié par: orkey
• Publié le: 08 décembre 2010
• Nombre de lectures: 39
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 2 Mo

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The Project Gutenberg eBook, Peck's Compendium of Fun, by George W. Peck This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net Title: Peck's Compendium of Fun Author: George W. Peck Release Date: January 27, 2005 [eBook #14815] Language: english Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 ***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PECK'S COMPENDIUM OF FUN*** E-text prepared by Bill Tozier, Barbara Tozier, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team PECK’S COMPENDIUM OF FUN. COMPRISING THE CHOICEST GEMS OF WIT, HUMOR, SARCASM AND PATHOS. OF AMERICA’S FAVORITE HUMORIST , GEORGE W. PECK, EDITOR OF “PECK’S SUN” MILWAUKEE. ILLUSTRATED BY EMINENT ARTISTS. CHICAGO: 1886. CONTENTS. About Hell Another Dead Failure Anna Dickinson A Bald-headed Man Most Crazy A Case of Paralysis A Doctor of Laws A Hot Box at a Picnic A Lively Train Load A Mad Minister A Musical Critique A Peck at the Cheese A Plea for the Bull Head A Sewing Machine Given to the Boss Girl A Safe Investment A Tony Slaughter-House A Trying Situation An Arm That is not Reliable An Editor Burglarized Banks and Banking Bounced from Church for Dancing Boys and Circuses Boys will be Boys Broke up a Prayer Meeting Buying a Stone Crusher “Cash!” Camp Meetings in the Dark of the Moon Church Keno Colored Concert Troupes Dogs and Human Beings Effects of Mineral Water Expedition in Search of a Doughnut Failure of a Solid Institution Fishing for Pieces of Women Fooling with the Bible George Washington Granite Head Cheese Internal Improvements Joke on the Hat Killing Big Game Large Mouths are Fashionable La Crosse Nebecudnezzer Water Laying up Apples in Heaven Mr. Peck’s Sunday Lecture Nearly Broke up the Ball Our Blue-Coated Dog-Poisoners Our Christian Neighbors Have Gone Palace Cattle Cars PECK’S BAD BOY AND HIS PA. He Becomes a Druggist He is too Healthy He Quits the Drug Business His Pa an Inventor His Pa Dissected His Pa Goes Calling His Pa Goes Skating His Pa Gets Boxed His Pa Gets Mad His Pa Joins a Temperance Society His Pa Jokes Him His Pa is Discouraged His Pa Kills Him His Pa Mortified Religion and Fish Rope Ladders Sardineindianapolis Seven Year Old Horses Summer Resorting Take Your Latin Straight Terror in Church The Bob-Tailed Badger The Boy and the Goat The Difference The Difference in Horses The Fire New Year’s Day The Giddy Girl’s Quarrel The Gospel Car The Infidel and His Silver Mine The Knight and the Bridal Chamber The Legend of the Lake The Man from Dubuque The Mistake About It The Naughty But Nice Church Choir The New Coal Stove The Sudden Fire-Works at Racine The Uses of the Paper Bag The Waters of La Crosse The Way to Name Children The Way Women Boss a Pillow The Woodcock Those Bold Bad Drummers Those Step Ladders! Tragedy on the Stage Trains Without Conductors Try to Save Two Shillings Unscrewing the Top of a Fruit Jar Why the Fever Did’nt Spread Woman-Dozing a Democrat Wonders of the Stage ELECTRIC FLASHES. Anna Dickinson as “Mazeppa” A Black Bear at Onalaska A Dead Sure Thing A Fashion Item A Good Land Enough A Lecturer Should Know What He Talks About A Loan Exhibition A New Sparking Scheme An Odorous Bohemian Base Ingratitude Buttermilk Bibbers Cats on the Fence Christmas Trees Col. Ingersoll Praying Comforting Compensations Convenient Currency Crushing Nihilism Enterprising Chicago! Fish Hatching in Wisconsin Frozen Ears Gathered Waists! Geological Survey Give us War Good Templars on Ice Hard on Fond Du Lac He Would’nt Have His Father Called Names How Farmers May Get Rich “How Sharper Than a Hound’s Tooth!” How to Invest a Thousand Dollars How to Reach Young Men Hunting Dogs Insecure Abodes Lunch on the Cars Mattie Mashes Minnesota Merrie Christmas More Dangerous Than Kerosene Mrs. Langtry One of Beecher’s Converts Preparing for War Raising Elephants Registry of Electors Selling Clams She was no Gentleman Southern “Honaw” Spurious Tripe Sure of Heaven Supreme Court Judges and U.S. Senators Ten Days in Love The Advent Preacher and the Balloon The Day We Reached Canada The Dog Law The Glorious Fourth of July The Mule not the Eagle The Old Sweet Songs The Political Outlook The Power of Eloquence The Thirsty Gopher The Universalist Bath The Universal Object The Wicked Mon Kee The Wrong Corpse Three Inches of Leg To What Vile Uses May We Come Too Particular by Half What the Country Needs What the Democrats Will Do We Will Celebrate Why not Raise Wolves? ILLUSTRATIONS. A Scene in Paradise “Ah, my Friends, Look Down Into That Burning Lake!” An Intrusive Nigger At the Telephone Behind the Scenes Bossing the Pillow “Do not Pass me by!” Drummers Trying to Pray “Get Thee to a Nunnery!” “Happy New Year, Mum!” Hiawasamantha, the Dusky Daughter of the Golden West “I Want to be an Angel” It Looked Like an old Dripping Pan “It is F-f-four Sizes too Big!” John McCullough Killing a Texas Steer “Just as I am” “Keno!” Martindale Climbs a Pole “Me Long Lost Duke!” Mystery of a Woman’s Clothes New Way of Taking Seidlitz Powders No More Apples for the Minister “Oh, That Will be all Right” “Pa Grabbed Her by the Polonaise” “Sard,” and the Greek Slave Sacred Memories Slippery Oysters Swallow-Tails on the Climb The Lady of the Seventh Ward The Old Back Number Girl The Old Man Tries His Hand The Resorter The Rotund Urso The Sexton in all His Glory The Startled Cat The Tenor Arrayed in all His Glory The Wandering Oyster “Thereby Hangs a Tail.” “This is too Allfired Much!” “Too Late, Pa, I Die at the Hand of an Assassin!” Turning the Proper Dingus “Yell, or go Down!” PECK’S COMPENDIUM OF FUN. THE NEW COAL STOVE. Return to Table of Contents We never had a coal stove around the house until last Saturday. Have always used pine slabs and pieces of our neighbor’s fence. They burn well, too, but the fence got all burned up, and the neighbor said he wouldn’t build a new one, so we went down to Jones’ and got a coal stove. After supper we took a piece of ice and rubbed our hands warm, and went in where that stove was, resolved to make her draw and burn if it took all the pine fence in the first Ward. Our better-half threw a quilt over her, and shiveringly remarked that she never knew what real solid comfort was until she got a coal stove. Stung by the sarcasm in her remark, we turned every dingus