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The Fun of Getting Thin - How to Be Happy and Reduce the Waist Line

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43 pages
The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Fun of Getting Thin, by Samuel G. BlytheThis eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it,give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online atwww.gutenberg.netTitle: The Fun of Getting ThinAuthor: Samuel G. BlytheRelease Date: January 20, 2005 [eBook #14743]Language: EnglishCharacter set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FUN OF GETTING THIN***E-text prepared by Al HainesTHE FUN OF GETTING THINHow To Be Happy and Reduce the Waist LinebySAMUEL G. BLYTHEAuthor of "Cutting It Out"ChicagoForbes & Company1912CONTENTSCHAPTERI. FatII. The So-Called CuresIII. Facing the TissueTHE FUN OF GETTING THINCHAPTER IFATA fat man is a joke; and a fat woman is two jokes—one on herself and the other on her husband. Half the comedy inthe world is predicated on the paunch. At that, the human race is divided into but two classes—fat people who aretrying to get thin and thin people who are trying to get fat.Fat, the doctors say, is fatal. I move to amend by striking out the last two letters of the indictment. Fat is fat. It isn't anymore fatal to be reasonably fat than to be reasonably thin, but it's a darned sight more uncomfortable. So far as beingunreasonably thin or unreasonably fat is concerned, I suppose the thin person has the long end of it. I never was thin ...
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TThhien , Pbryo jeScat mGuuetl eGn.b eBrlgy tehBeook, The Fun of GettingThis eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere atno cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever.You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under theterms of the Project Gutenberg License includedwith this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.netTitle: The Fun of Getting ThinAuthor: Samuel G. BlytheRelease Date: January 20, 2005 [eBook #14743]Language: EnglishCharacter set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)*E*B*SOTOAKR TT HOEF  FTUHNE  OPFR OGJEETCTITN GG UTTHEINN*B*E*RGE-text prepared by Al HainesTHE FUN OF GETTING THIN
How To Be Happy and Reduce the Waist LineybSAMUEL G. BLYTHEAuthor of "Cutting It Out"ChicagoForbes & Company2191CONTENTSCHAPTERI. FatII. The So-Called Cures
III. Facing teh Tissue
THE FUN OF GETTING THINCHAPTER ITAFA fat man is a joke; and a fat woman is two jokes—one on herself and the other on her husband. Halfthe comedy in the world is predicated on thepaunch. At that, the human race is divided into buttwo classes—fat people who are trying to get thinand thin people who are trying to get fat.Fat, the doctors say, is fatal. I move to amend bystriking out the last two letters of the indictment.Fat is fat. It isn't any more fatal to be reasonablyfat than to be reasonably thin, but it's a darnedsight more uncomfortable. So far as beingunreasonably thin or unreasonably fat isconcerned, I suppose the thin person has the longend of it. I never was thin, so I don't know.However, I have been fat—notice that "havebeen"? And if there is any phase of humanenjoyment, any part of life, any occupation,avocation, divertisement, pleasure or pain wherethe fat man has the better of it in any regard, Ifailed to discover it in the twenty years duringwhich I looked like the rear end of a hack and hadall the bodily characteristics of a bale of hay.When you come to examine into the actuating
motives for any line of human endeavor you willfind that vanity figures about ninety per cent,directly or indirectly, in the assay. The personalequation is the ruling equation. Women want to bethinner because they will look better—and so domen. Likewise, women want to be plumperbecause they will look better—and so do men. Thisholds up to forty years. After that it doesn't makemuch difference whether either men or womenlook any better than they have been looking, so faras the great end and aim of all life is concerned.Consequently fat men and fat women after fortywant to be thinner for reasons of health andcomfort, or quit and resign themselves to theirfurther years of obesity.Now I am over forty. Hence my experiments inreduction may be taken at this time as groundedon a desire for comfort—not that I did not makemany campaigns against my fat before I was forty.I fought it now and then, but always retreatedbefore I won a victory. This time, instead ofskirmishing valiantly for a space and then beingignominiously and fatly routed by the powerfulforces of food and drink, I hung stolidly to the lineof my original attack, harassed the enemy by aconstant and deadly fire—and one morningdiscovered I had the foe on the run.It always makes me laugh to hear people talkabout losing flesh—unless, of course, the decreasein weight is due to illness. No healthy person,predisposed to fat, ever lost any flesh. If thatperson gets rid of any weight, or girth, or fat, it isn't
lost—it is fought off, beaten off. The victimstruggles with it, goes to the mat with it, and doesnot debonairly drop it. He eliminates it with sterneffort and much travail of the spirit. It is a job ofwork, a grueling combat to the finish, a task thatappalls and usually repels.The theory of taking off fat is the simplest theory inthe world. It is announced, in four words: Stopeating and drinking. The practice of fat reduction isthe most difficult thing in the world. Its difficultiesare comprehended in two words: You cannot. Theflesh is willing, but the spirit is weak. The successof the undertaking lies in the triumph of the willover the appetite. There's a lovely line of cant foryou! Triumph of the will over the appetite. It soundslike the preaching of a professional food faddist,who tells the people they eat too much and thenslips away and wolfs down four pounds ofbeefsteak at a sitting. However, I suppose it isnecessary to say this once in a dissertation like this—and it is said.In writing about this successful experiment of minein reducing weight I have no theories to advanceexcept one, and no instructions to give. I don'tknow whether my method would take an ounce offany other person in the world, and I don't care. Ionly know it took more than fifty pounds off me. Iam not advancing any argument, medicinal orotherwise, for my plan. I never talked to a doctorabout it, and never shall. If there are fat men andfat women who are fat for the same reasons I wasfat I suppose they can get thin the way I got thin. If
tchaenyn oatr.e I  fdato fno'tr  kontohewr  arbeoasuto neist hI esr upprpoopsoes ittihoeny.I have great respect for doctors—so much respect,in fact, that I keep diligently away from them. Iknow the preliminaries of their game and can takea dose of medicine myself as skillfully as they canadminister it. Also, I know when I have a fever, andhave a working knowledge of how my heart shouldbeat and my other bodily functions be performed. Ihave frequently found that a prescription,unintelligibly written but looking very wise, is highlyefficacious when folded carefully and put in thepocketbook instead of being deposited with adruggist. I suppose that comes from a sort ofhereditary faith in amulets. No doubt the methodwould be even more efficacious if the prescriptionwere tied on a string and hung around the neck. Ishall try that some time when my wife lugs in adoctor on me.Still, doctors are interesting as a class. After youget beyond the let-me-feel-your-pulse-and-see-your-tongue preliminaries they are versatile andingenious. Almost always, after you tell them whatis the matter with you, they will know—not everytime, but frequently. Also, they will take any sort ofa chance with you in the interest of science.However, they generally send out for a specialistwhen they are ill themselves. When you come tothink of it that is but natural. Almost any man,whether professional or not, will take a chance withsomebody else that he wouldn't quite go throughwith on himself. Besides, doctors treat comparative
strangers for the most part, and the interests ofscience are to be conserved.Almost any doctor can tell you how to get thin. Tobe sure, no doctor will tell you to do the samethings any other doctor prescribes, but it allsimmers down to the same thing: Cut out thestarchy foods and sweets, and take exercise. Also:Don't drink alcohol. The variations that can beplayed on this simple theme by a skillful doctor areendless. When a real specialist in fat reductiongets hold of you—a real, earnest reducer—he cancontrive a diet that would make a living skeletonthin—and likewise put him in his little grave. I havehad diets handed to me that would starve ahumming-bird, and diets that would put flesh on abronze statue; and all to the same end—reduction.Science has been monkeying with nourishment forthe past ten or fifteen years to the exclusion ofmany other branches of research; and about allthat has happened to the nourishment is the largeelimination of nutriment from it.
CHAPTER IITHE SO-CALLED CURESBroadly speaking, the methods of fat reductionmost in vogue are divided into four classes—mechanical, physical, medicinal and dietary. Thefirst two are not worth considering by a man whohas anything else to do. I do not doubt that a manwho could devote his whole time to the work could,by means of some of the appliances offered—fromthe apparatus in a gymnasium to rubber shirts, getoff fat—nor do I doubt the efficacy of exercise andits accompaniments in the way of sweating andbaths and all that; but when a person has a livingto make these methods are useless, not throughany demerit of their own but because the man whois fat hasn't the time or opportunity and, more thanall, soon fails in the inclination to use them.If you can tell me anything more ghastly thantaking a system of canned exercises in themorning or at night in one's bedroom or bathroom,or elsewhere, with no other incentive than somephysical gain that, when you come to sum it up, islargely fictitious in value—or comes inevitably to bethought so—I would like to have you step forwardand name it. I have been all through that phase ofit, and I know; and I also know by heart the patterof the persons who recommend it. Further, I knowthe person round the forties doesn't live who
enjoys this sort of thing—no matter what he saysabout it; and without enjoyment exercise is of nouse or worse than useless. It can be done, ofcourse; and lumps of muscle can be stuck onalmost any part of the body—but what's the use tothe person who has to make a living? Then, too, Iam speaking now of methods that can be used bymen and women who are no longer young. Ayoung man can and will do stunts in physicalculture that an older man cannot do, eithersatisfactorily or comfortably.So far as the medicinal or drug method of fatreduction is concerned, any fat man or woman whotakes drugs to reduce flesh, or to help, deserves allthat he or she will get—and that will be plenty.There's no need of saying anything further on thatsubject. Then there remains the dietary method—the old familiar friend, diet. Starting with WilliamBanting—maybe it didn't start with William, butbefore him—but, starting with Bill for presentpurposes, there have been more systems of dietinvented and promulgated than there have beensystems of religion—and that means about one inevery hundred has evolved a system.You can get them of all sorts and all sure to do thework, ranging from an exclusive diet of beefsteakand spinach to desiccated hay and creamedalfalfa. There are monodiets, duodiets, vegetablediets, fruit diets, nut diets—all kinds of diets—eachguaranteed to take off flesh if you have too muchor to put it on if you have too little. Basically,however, the antiflesh diets are about the same.