Madness of Moscow

Cary Johnston

Description

An exploration of living, and loving, in Russia by an award- winning journalist. Both serious and humorous in its approach to Russian culture and attitudes. With a foreword by Fred Dinenage, author of the best-selling Kray Twins biography 'Our Story'.Moscow - the city of mail order Russian Brides, endless winters, and rivers of vodka. Or is it?Follow one man's extraordinary real-life journey through the harsh and absurd realities of existence as a British expat in a metropolis so alien, it could be on another planet. Award-winning journalist Cary Johnston reveals the no holds barred true story of his life in modern-day Moscow, working for the Kremlin-funded Russia Today TV channel.He uncovers what the Russians really think of us in the West and explores the humorous and surprising truth about relationships between Western men and Russian women, including his own bitter-sweet search for a Russian Bride.With the recent international controversy surrounding the poisoning of a former Russian spy and his daughter in the UK city of Salisbury, this is the most timely and revealing account of life in Russia. It reveals what drives the Russians, from the people in the streets of Moscow to the man at the very top, Vladimir Putin.It is a tale of love won and lost. A tale of fun and frolics. A tale of dangers and horror. So, buckle up and enjoy the Russian ride!

Sujets

• Travel writing
• Russia
• Russie

Informations

• Publié par: Troubador Publishing Ltd
• Date de parution: 17 mai 2018
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781789011265
• Langue: English

Extrait

THE MADNESS OF MOSCOW
One man’s journey of life and love in Russia
CARY JOHNSTON
Copyright © 2018 Cary Johnston

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

This is a work of creative non-fiction, and the events herein are true. Some names and descriptions have been changed to protect identities, but I have been faithful to my memory, and no harm or malice is intended.

Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers.

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ISBN 9781789011265

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‘Your elbow is close, yet you can’t bite it’
Russian proverb
Contents
FOREWORD
PROLOGUE

1 NATASHA
2 THE OLDEST PROFESSION
3 HORROR
4 SAUNAS, SPEED DATING, AND SPIES
5 MULLETS AND THE BOLSHOI
6 DON’T GET SICK IN RUSSIA
7 STUPID FISH
8 FIRE AND BRIMSTONE
9 FROM THE OUTSIDE, LOOKING IN
10 FRACTURES
11 VLADIMIR VLADIMIROVICH PUTIN
12 RUSSIAN BRIDES

EPILOGUE
FOREWORD
by Fred Dinenage
(Official biographer to the bestselling Kray twins book Our Story)
Timing, they say, is everything. So, as I write – with the international row over the nerve agent attack in the UK city of Salisbury still ongoing, and the alleged involvement of the Russians – the timing of this book could hardly have been better. And what a book it is! This is the story of one man’s experiences in Moscow, presenting programmes for Russia Today, a TV station with a news agenda giving the Russian view of world affairs. Cary talked his way into the job – and clinched it by telling the only joke he knew! – and found himself in midwinter Moscow, without a clue of what was ahead of him – and without understanding more than half a dozen words of Russian.
This is the fascinating tale of his experiences… His search for the perfect Russian bride… His involvement with various ladies along the way… His escape from fascist thugs… And his face-to-face encounter with one Vladimir Putin.
‘I nodded my head at him and he flicked his head upwards in reply, as if to say: Yes, I’ve acknowledged your existence, and that’s more than enough for you.’
Cary’s journey reminded me so much of my only visit to Moscow – then in very much a communist Russia – for the 1980 Olympic Games. An event clouded by controversy and boycotted by the Americans and several other countries, because of the Soviet Union’s invasion of Afghanistan. The UK didn’t boycott the Games, but Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher made it clear she would have preferred the BBC and ITV not to have been there.
We were all summoned to a briefing at the Foreign Office and told the British Embassy in Moscow would be closed for the duration of the Games – and also warned: ‘You are on your own if any of you get into any trouble.’ The atmosphere was intimidating and claustrophobic and we were under surveillance – as indeed were Cary and his colleagues. He tells us that there’s a spy, an informer, in every office. But Cary’s journalistic experience – he is a quality TV reporter and presenter – saw him through it all. Not to mention a fair degree of charm!
Nonetheless, for him this was a real baptism of fire. It’s a revealing insight into life in Russia. And, it has to be said, a revealing insight into one Cary Johnston. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. As the Russians might say: ‘Intriguyushchiy.’
Intriguing!
PROLOGUE
What on earth goes on in the heads of Russians? On the one hand they seem content to live under the feet of any pseudo-dictatorship (communist, Soviet, Mafia or otherwise) while on the other hand they want to throw off the chains of their dreadful past and enjoy all the trappings of a flashy Western lifestyle. You can’t have both, yet for some reason they seem unable to comprehend the paradox.
The people of any nation are formed and indeed often scarred by their history and whatever upheavals they have endured, and certainly the story of Russia and the wider Soviet Union has been traumatic to say the least. Stalin’s death camps, the Second World War, the years of stagnation and corruption – you can see why they would be a bit fed up. Above all, they want to be respected for their abilities both culturally and economically, yet ask any Russian what kind of car they would like to buy, and not one of them will mention a Russian-made vehicle. They want Toyotas, Peugeots, or (if they are loaded) Mercedes and BMWs. A Russian-made Lada? Not on your life. They are deeply suspicious of the military intentions of NATO and the political manoeuvrings of the United States, yet give any Russian a choice of where to live and they will come back with a list of Western destinations as long as your arm. Paris or Siberia? London or Vladivostok? New York or Moscow? For Russians, it’s a no-brainer – the Western destination wins every time.
And so it was into this cauldron of contradictions that I threw myself head-first, hoping to gain a first-hand insight into what motivates this seemingly strange nation, what the Russian people want out of their present lives and what they hope for in the future. For years it’s been a largely misunderstood place, which when you think about it, is scandalous and terrifying. After all, how can we be so ignorant of a nation that is the largest in the world? Indeed, even that single fact is often lost on many of us. Ask your friends to name the biggest country on our planet by land mass, and see how many reply ‘America’ or ‘China’ or ‘Australia’. You’ll be surprised.
I was also hoping to discover if the cultural clichés about Russians were true. I mean, a Russian man without vodka is like politics without sleaze – it can’t happen, right? And Russian women are all queuing up at registry offices to marry the first gullible socially inadequate Western man that comes along, right? And, if I’m being honest, I was indeed hoping to find the Russian girl of my dreams, to fulfil my genuinely held yearning for a lifelong partner, which had thus far eluded me in the West. But would the dream tally with reality?
Here then, is my experience of living in modern-day Moscow. Warts and all. And like everything else in life, the truth is often stranger (if not weirder ) than fiction. It is a personal insight into life in a very alien land. I’m no cultural historian. Nor am I a foreign correspondent. But I know a good tale when I see one and Russia is full of stories, characters and surprises. If you only raise one eyebrow at the following true events, then I would already have made a difference. If you raise two, then my job is done.
1
NATASHA
‘Beautiful, charming, intriguing and all the other Russian girl clichés’
Going out with a Russian girl is like going to see a magic show – you know you’re being tricked, you just can’t work out how. Imagine – the magician is on stage with a big black cloth bag in his hand. He opens it up and puts in a hapless white rabbit. Then he looks at you and asks, ‘Where’s the rabbit?’ And you reply, ‘It’s in the bag.’ Then he invites you to have a look, and – Hey Presto! – the rabbit is not in the bag. And you wonder, ‘How did that happen?’
Well, that’s what it’s like with a Russian girl. The moment you think the relationship is ‘in the bag’ you can guarantee it isn’t. That’s not when your work finishes, that’s when your work begins. I know this, because of Natasha. Now Natasha appeared to be anything but your typical Russian girl. We met at one of those business and social networking events that tries very hard to pretend it’s more than just a dating cattle market, and given that I was indeed on the lookout for a long-term partner, I could hardly complain. This one came complete with a website promising a meeting place of ‘global minds’ and worldly-wise exciting professionals. In fairness, many of the events they had planned were rather good. Restaurants, theatre outings, trips to the cinema and poetry readings (if you like that kind of thing). So with an open mind, I went along to one of their dinner parties. It was being held in a huge Georgian-style restaurant in the centre of Moscow. On arrival, someone ticked off my name on the list, before I wandered into the private area they had booked, whilst trying to look relaxed, though feeling distinctly nervous. I was confronted by a long wooden table with around twenty people already seated. First thing – don’t get stuck in a corner with a load of blokes; that would defeat the object of coming in the first place, wouldn’t it? Though actually, I need not have worried, as the ratio between women and men was about four to one. I sat strategically near the end where there were already four women – beautiful, charming, intriguing and all the other Russian girl clichés right here in front of me. And there she was. Slim, dark-haired, green-eyed and elegantly dressed in a black skirt and crisp white formal shirt, with silver cufflinks – giving off a distinct air of ‘I am an intelligent businesswoman not to be messed with, but if you play your cards right, you might get something