My Name is Not Konnichiwa

Rodney Ee

Description

Rodney Ee loves to travel. But he's not just a traveller - he's an addict. Few things make him happier than being on the road and tumbling headfirst into yet another adventure.From hunting down Santa Claus' Finnish hometown and getting the "Five Minute" treatment in Dubai, to swimming in the icy Baltic and braving the frosty reception at the world's largest ice hotel... Rodney has been there, done that. Filled with wry wit and humorous observations, My Name is Not Konnichiwa is a collection of stories about one man's unquenchable thirst for life, adventure and the road less travelled.

Sujets

• Travel writing

Informations

• Publié par: Marshall Cavendish International
• Date de parution: 01 avril 2013
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9789814484572
• Langue: English

Extrait

MY NAME IS NOT KONNICHIWA !


R ODNEY E E
I LLUSTRATIONS BY H ERV C OTTON
Copyright 2013 Marshall Cavendish International (Asia) Private Limited
Illustrations by Herv Cotton
Published in 2013 by Marshall Cavendish Editions An imprint of Marshall Cavendish International 1 New Industrial Road, Singapore 536196
All rights reserved
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner. Request for permission should be addressed to the Publisher, Marshall Cavendish International (Asia) Private Limited, 1 New Industrial Road, Singapore 536196. Tel: [phone], Fax: [phone]. E-mail: [e-mail] . Website: www.marshallcavendish.com/genref
The publisher makes no representation or warranties with respect to the contents of this book, and specifically disclaims any implied warranties or merchantability or fitness for any particular purpose, and shall in no event be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damage, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.
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National Library Board, Singapore Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
Ee, Rodney. My name is not Konnichiwa! / Rodney Ee. - Singapore : Marshall Cavendish Editions, 2013. p. cm. eISBN : 978 981 4484 57 2
1. Ee, Rodney - Travel. 2. Voyages and travels. I. Title.
G149 910 - dc23 OCN828156103
Printed in Singapore by Times Printers
C ONTENTS
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Prologue
My Name is Not Konnichiwa !
Money Makes the World Go Round
We re Off to ee anta
How Much Did That Cost?
Lost In Translation
Five Minutes Away
Wanted: English Teachers
The Global Classroom
Carpet Sales for Dummies
Lessons From Vietnam
Between a Rock and a Hard Place
Can I Pass on the Yoghurt?
Where s the Toilet?
Seatbelts Optional
Culinary Misadventures
I Want Chinese!
Rotten Shark, Anyone?
Monumental Journeys
The Great Wall Workout
A Taj of Love
Frozen Insanity
A Winter Olympics Training Session
The Importance of Brakes
Finnish Swimming Lessons
A Chilly Reception
In Search of Aurora
A Sense of Place
A Letter to the Prime Minister of Japan
Incredible India!
Romantic is an Overused Word
Black Magic and Billabong Shorts
Epilogue
Honey, I Shrunk the Seats
About the Author
A CKNOWLEDGMENTS
I wish to thank the following people. Without their contributions and support, this book would not have been possible.
My family, who are and will always be dear to me - special mention to my mum and my aunt Evelyn for reviewing the preliminary drafts of the book.
Julie, for helping me to crystallise my thoughts and correct my improper Engrish!
Herv , for the wonderful illustrations that are dotted throughout the book.
Lynelle, for linking me up with the publisher.
Melvin, Stephanie, and the team from Marshall Cavendish, for giving local writers like me a chance.
And finally, Michelle, the love of my life. Thanks for putting up with my travel bug and giving in to my need to visit exotic places and do crazy things!
I NTRODUCTION
I love travelling.
I love going to new places, experiencing different cultures, taking lots of pictures and trying different food. In this sense, perhaps you and I are very much alike.
But, I m not just a traveller - I m a travel addict.
As soon as I return from a vacation, I m already planning for the next one to satisfy my wanderlust. I read about and research so extensively on potential travel locations that I sometimes know more about a country s attractions than its citizens themselves, even before I have set foot there! My travel library is so extensive that I have guidebooks covering a host of countries on all seven continents (yes, even Antarctica!). Will I ever get to visit all of them within my lifetime? Only God knows that answer.
Several years ago, I decided to write about my experiences on a travel blog so I would always remember the highlights of my journeys. The idea of putting together a book from these blog entries gradually crept into my mind.
Each trip was unique in its own way - from the people I had met, to the places I had stayed in and the landscapes I had seen, to the activities I had done and the way my senses were constantly being surrounded by the new and unfamiliar. While navigating this diversity sometimes requires temporary suspension of what we personally define as sanity , I have, for the most part, truly enjoyed these experiences.
As I became a more seasoned traveller, I began to yearn for more exotic travel experiences, and this yearning led me to places further away from my comfort zone. Earlier in my career, my work in the aviation and air cargo industry also brought me to many new and unfamiliar cities. Each time, I found the experiences more exciting and perhaps even more harrowing, but almost always, more hilarious.
Whether it was getting lost in translation, being caught between a rock and a hard place or braving sub-zero temperatures, I always found reasons to look back on all these trips with a big smile and a chuckle.
This book is a selection of notes on my most engaging and memorable experiences in the last ten years or so. Be they good or bad, my adventures have been one hell of a rollercoaster ride, and I m still hanging on for dear life and screaming at the top of my lungs!
PROLOGUE
M Y N AME IS N OT K ONNICHIWA !
The last time I checked my birth certificate, my name was still clearly stated as Rodney Ee, first son of Lionel Ee and Irene Chua. I was born and raised in Singapore, an island nation located at the confluence of the South China Sea and the Malacca Straits; a country also affectionately known as the Little Red Dot or Where in China is That?
If you trace my lineage through my last name, you would probably end up in a village somewhere in the Fujian province of China. But even though my ancestry is Chinese, my cultural identity is a hotchpotch of influences that include Malay, Indian and Western lifestyles, all mixed up like a flavourful blend of exotic spices.
At last count, I have travelled to 44 countries, a paltry number when you consider the exploits of a certain gentleman named Kashi Sammadar who travelled to all 194 countries of the world in a record time of six years, ten months and seven days; or a certain Matthew Harding, who despite being born with two left feet has managed to get thousands of beautiful women in almost every country in the world to dance with him - and get paid for it in the process!
Each time I visit a country, I always return feeling more humbled than before. Humbled at being just one out of seven billion other people on this incredible planet; humbled at its vast expanse and the diversity of its people and landscapes; humbled at the ease with which cultural barriers can be brought down with a simple smile, and immensely grateful for the many friends that I have made all over the world.
Travel around the globe has never been easier, and there is so much available information on virtually every country in the world on the internet and from travel channels on TV. With the advent of smartphones, this information has even moved from our desktops to our fingertips. And with satellite technology and map applications, getting from point A to point B is now a breeze, so long as you are not using Apple Maps to get to Mildura in northwestern Victoria.
In spite of all this readily-available knowledge about the world we live in, there are many people who still don t seem to know where Singaporeans are from. Despite holding the record for the world s largest cupcake mosaic and producing a onetime world record holder for SMS texting, many of us are still mistaken for other nationalities. Perhaps it is because we are such a tiny island devoid of any natural wonders, or because we don t have a renowned beauty such as Aishwarya Rai or a football team that ever qualifies for the World Cup?
Regardless of the reason, I would like to state for the record that my name is not Konnichiwa . It is also not Arigato or Sayonara and it most certainly is not Panasonic, Mitsubishi, Yokohama, Toyota, Kawasaki or any other Japanese manufacturer that comes to mind.
I have nothing against the Japanese, and I have a profound respect for their culture and values. But when one is bombarded at every turn with shouts of KONNICHIIIIWAAA, KONNICHIIIIWAAAA, KONNICHIIIIWAAAAA!!! from cheeky shopkeepers while walking through the markets and souks of this world, I always get one step closer to being locked up abroad for culpable homicide. Maybe they are just being friendly, my wife Michelle tells me or perhaps they are just ignorant of geography.
Whatever the case, I m carrying a taser the next time I travel
MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND
W E RE O FF TO EE ANTA
We have all heard stories about Santa Claus, the jolly red-cheeked, white-bearded father figure with an elaborate system of hidden webcams and covert elf agents to determine if you ve been naughty or nice. You might also know him as the psychic who instinctively knows which presents you want for Christmas and personally delivers them to your oversized unmatched sock, in return for the cookies and milk that you leave on the table, or as the cheeky guy who risks life and limb to claim the adulterous kiss and tickle from your mum under the mistletoe.
In reality thou