Summary of Lindsay C. Gibson's Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents

Everest Media

Description

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.
Sample Book Insights:
#1 Emotionally immature parents are both frustrating and demoralizing. They have little interest in experiencing emotional intimacy with you, and they demand your attention but are wary of real connection.
#2 EI parents and other EIPs make you feel, and this can stir up old issues. They make you feel inferior, and you often end up trying to live up to their expectations.
#3 EI parents are uncomfortable with emotional nurturing, and they may seem artificial and awkward when trying to soothe a distressed child.
#4 EI parents are self-absorbed and lack empathy, which makes interactions with them feel one-sided. They rarely offer listening or empathy when you’re distressed, and instead offer superficial solutions or get irritated with you for being upset.

Sujets

• Dysfunctional family

Informations

• Publié par: Everest Media LLC
• Date de parution: 27 avril 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781669392620
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Insights on Lindsay C. Gibson's Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents
Contents Insights from Chapter 1 Insights from Chapter 2 Insights from Chapter 3 Insights from Chapter 4 Insights from Chapter 5 Insights from Chapter 6 Insights from Chapter 7 Insights from Chapter 8 Insights from Chapter 9 Insights from Chapter 10 Insights from Chapter 11 Insights from Chapter 12
Insights from Chapter 1

#1

Emotionally immature parents are both frustrating and demoralizing. They have little interest in experiencing emotional intimacy with you, and they demand your attention but are wary of real connection.

#2

EI parents and other EIPs make you feel, and this can stir up old issues. They make you feel inferior, and you often end up trying to live up to their expectations.

#3

EI parents are uncomfortable with emotional nurturing, and they may seem artificial and awkward when trying to soothe a distressed child.

#4

EI parents are self-absorbed and lack empathy, which makes interactions with them feel one-sided. They rarely offer listening or empathy when you’re distressed, and instead offer superficial solutions or get irritated with you for being upset.

#5

EI parents insist that you put them first and let them run the show. They use shame, guilt, or fear to coerce you until you do what they want. They can become angry if you don’t follow their rules.

#6

EI parents are extremely self-referential, meaning that everything is always about them. They expect you to accept second place when it comes to their needs. They elevate their own interests to the point that yours feel downgraded.

#7

EI parents are highly reactive emotionally, and they avoid their deeper feelings. They fear being emotionally exposed and often hide behind a defensive exterior. They even avoid tenderness toward their children because this might make them too vulnerable.

#8

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. It is a key component of EI parenting, which involves non-verbal communication and staying constantly attuned to your children.

#9

EI parents don’t understand the importance of boundaries. They believe that boundaries imply rejection, which is why they are offended if you ask them to respect your privacy. They don’t understand why you want space or an individual identity apart from them.

#10

Emotional work is the effort you make to emotionally adapt to other people’s needs. Emotional work can be easy, such as being polite and pleasant, or deeply complicated, such as trying hard to say the right thing to your distraught teenager.

#11

EI parents see you as an extension of themselves, and they disregard your inner world of thoughts and feelings. They claim the right to judge your feelings as either sensible or unwarranted. They do not respect your emotional autonomy.

#12

EI parents can be killjoys, constantly stopping their children from enjoying life and other people’s happiness. They also take pleasure in making their children feel powerless.

#13

Emotionally immature people need others to keep them on an even keel by treating them just so. They act in ways that make others feel responsible for keeping them happy, through extremely subtle cues.

#14

When EIPs and EI parents get upset, their distress worms its way into your mind and takes center stage. You worry obsessively about how to make things right with them, and you can’t get what they said or did out of your mind.

#15

Healthy and mature people approach asking for help differently. They consider the other person’s circumstances, and they leave room for the other person to say no. EI parents impose emotional pressure, then imply that you don’t care about them if you say no.

#16

The EIRS is exhausting because you are doing so much emotional work on behalf of the person. You are always on alert for their next mood shift, which is extremely draining.

#17

EI parents dump their problems on you in such an agitated and victimized way that it seems you can’t refuse. You end up feeling like you can’t refuse because your feelings are irrelevant.

#18

When Jill went ahead with a long-planned trip a week after her mother had a minor car accident that left her unhurt, Claire became distraught. She secretly hoped Jill would cancel her trip, but when she didn’t, Claire felt wounded.

#19

When dealing with an EIRS, it’s important to remember that the emotions you are feeling are not yours, but rather the EIP’s. Ask yourself: Is this feeling coming from me or them. If it’s coming from them, consider whether they are projecting their emotions onto you.

#20

EI parents may have had difficult childhoods, including histories of abuse and emotional deprivation. They may be overly preoccupied with their immediate needs, as if they are terrified that they don’t really matter.

#21

You can see how difficult it is to live with an EI parent now. You learned about their emotionally immature relationship system, and how they monopolize interactions with their own issues and tell you how you should think and feel.
Insights from Chapter 2

#1