Summary of Lisa Damour's Untangled

Everest Media

Description

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.
Sample Book Insights:
#1 The first sign of adolescence is typically the sudden separation from parents that occurs at around age twelve. Girls start pulling away from their parents to begin their journey along one of the seven developmental strands of adolescence: parting with childhood.
#2 When it comes to parting with childhood, girls have to get from point A, where they happily hold our hands and act like total goofballs in public, to point B, where they claim the independence and self-determination that come with being young women.
#3 It can be extremely difficult to let go of your child, and many parents find that their relationship with them changes drastically during adolescence.
#4 When your daughter begins to pull away from you, understand that she is doing it to practice being independent. She may not explain her feelings, but she will become increasingly annoying as a result.

Sujets

• Maturation
• Teenagers

Informations

• Publié par: Everest Media LLC
• Date de parution: 08 mars 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781669351252
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Insights on Lisa Damour's Untangled
Contents Insights from Chapter 1 Insights from Chapter 2 Insights from Chapter 3 Insights from Chapter 4 Insights from Chapter 5 Insights from Chapter 6 Insights from Chapter 7
Insights from Chapter 1

#1

The first sign of adolescence is typically the sudden separation from parents that occurs at around age twelve. Girls start pulling away from their parents to begin their journey along one of the seven developmental strands of adolescence: parting with childhood.

#2

When it comes to parting with childhood, girls have to get from point A, where they happily hold our hands and act like total goofballs in public, to point B, where they claim the independence and self-determination that come with being young women.

#3

It can be extremely difficult to let go of your child, and many parents find that their relationship with them changes drastically during adolescence.

#4

When your daughter begins to pull away from you, understand that she is doing it to practice being independent. She may not explain her feelings, but she will become increasingly annoying as a result.

#5

When your daughter starts to shut you out, you should allow her more privacy than she had as a child. This means not prying into her affairs, and letting her close her door if she wants to.

#6

If you allow your teenage daughter the sanctuary of her bedroom, you may wonder if she will only be seen again when she needs money, food, or a ride to a friend’s house. To address this issue, some families establish a family time one evening a week, or as often as logistically feasible for everyone in the family.

#7

There is a lot of research out there on family dinners, but this study stands out to me for two reasons. First, it shows that even hostile silence can be beneficial if it’s part of a family dinner. Second, it shows that even though it may be difficult, parents should make time for their children.

#8

If you want to connect with your daughter, car time is your most valuable ally. The conditions of riding in a car, not having to look directly at the parent who is driving, and the assurance that the conversation will end when the ride ends are just what some girls need to open up.

#9

When it comes to questions, teenage girls want their parents to pose questions that are driven by genuine interest. They don’t want their parents to pry into their personal lives.

#10

It is important to be polite, but parents should also be able to call out their daughters when they are being rude. teenagers know when they are misbehaving, and they feel uncomfortable when they get away with it.

#11

Girls are exquisitely attuned to the people around them. They use their insider’s knowledge to be surprisingly mean. Their meanness can be unpunishable because most adolescent girls avoid pedestrian tactics like name-calling.

#12

It can be difficult to deal with the meanness of your daughter, but you must remember that she is only trying to pull you close and push you away at the same time. If she gets defensive, looks at you blankly, or stomps off in a huff, commend yourself for doing your job.

#13

When your daughter is out with her friends, she is trying to stay afloat. When she swims to you, enjoy it, but don’t get your hopes up that she has rediscovered the value of your wisdom and affection and will never again forget it. When she shoves off, don’t allow her to mistreat you.

#14

Parents of teenagers need supportive partners and friends to help them get through the difficult times. Having a reliable, safe base allows your daughter to venture out into the world.

#15

Girls don’t develop their skills or confidence in their skills at an even pace. Some girls become paralyzed when they are expected to manage payment at a salon, while others freeze up if they need to confront or disappoint an adult.

#16

If your daughter is resisting your help, don’t become exasperated when she refuses to accept that she can work a table saw if she can figure out how to work the remote control. Instead, help her move from having you do the task for her to doing it with her.

#17

Puberty is a process that girls can’t control. It advances at a speed they don’t want, and they often don’t enjoy the physical changes.

#18

If your daughter is having trouble discussing her changing body with you, consider giving her an age-appropriate book about puberty. Don’t make a big deal about the book, and don’t ask her to report back to you about whether she’s read it.

#19

If your daughter is uncomfortable opening up to you about the changes happening to her body, consider having a neutral third party help her take care of it. This way, she can feel safe discussing the issue with them, while still receiving your advice.

#20

The first signs of puberty, which are usually the beginnings of breast development, now arrive earlier than ever. This is especially true for African-American girls, who begin developing breasts at a younger age than other ethnic groups.

#21

Girls who are eager to leave their childhood behind often equate being older with taking an interest in sex, and they can do an alarmingly good job of mimicking adult sexuality.

#22

Parents should be prepared to deal with the fact that their children will experiment with digital posturing that may or may not match their real personalities. If you notice your daughter posting risqué comments or images, have a conversation with her and ask her to explain what she was trying to accomplish.

#23

The six strands of adolescence are identity, relationships, morality, body, mind, and digital technology.