World's Greatest Golf Quotes

Crombie Catriona

Description

Golf. Love it or hate it, it's a sport that attracts millions of avid fans from all over the world. Bruce Lansky said, 'Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex -wife...' whereas Buddy Hackett reckoned that, 'Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much. This is a wide- ranging collection of quotes from international golfers, golf lovers and observers which we hope you will find amusing and thought-provoking.

Sujets

• Lifestyle

Informations

• Publié par: Crombie Jardine Publishing Limited
• Date de parution: 11 octobre 2011
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781906051617
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Introduction
 
Golf. Love it or hate it, it’s a sport that attracts millions of avid fans from all over the world. Bruce Lansky said, ‘Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife...’ whereas Buddy Hackett reckoned that, ‘Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.’
 
This wide-ranging collection of quotes from international golfers and golf lovers and observers sums up the sport in general. Whether it be Chi Chi Rodriguez’ humorous take on golf - ‘The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life’ - or Jack Nicklaus’ more philosophical approach - ‘A kid grows up a lot faster on the golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave’ - there is plenty here to amuse and find thought-provoking.
 
We hope you enjoy it.
 
 
www.crombiejardine.com
 
~ A ~
 
It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course
Hank Aaron

I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot
Don Adams

Years ago we discovered the exact point, the dead centre of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net
Franklin P. Adams

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business
Joey Adams

One almost expects one of the players to peer into the monitor and politely request viewers to refrain from munching so loudly on cheese and crackers while the golfers are trying to reach the greens
Pete Alfano

I’m the best. I just haven’t played yet
Muhammad Ali, referring to his golf game

There is one thing in this world that is dumber than playing golf. That is watching someone else playing golf. What do you actually get to see? Thirty-seven guys in polyester slacks squinting at the sun
Peter Andrews

A caddie is someone who accompanies a golfer and didn’t see the ball either
Anon

A compulsive golfer is a crackputt
Anon

A game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood
Anon

A ‘gimme’ can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well
Anon

A golfer is a man who can walk eight miles with a heavy bag of clubs but when he gets home he expects his dog to fetch his slippers
Anon

A golfer's diet tip: live on greens as much as possible
Anon

Born to golf. Forced to work
Anon

Even God has to practice his putting
Anon

Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour
Anon

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle
Anon

Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly and the player always lies well
Anon

Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green and wind up in the hole
Anon

Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic
Anon

Golf is life. If you can't take golf, you can't take life
Anon
 
Gone golfin'... back at dark thirty
Anon

Handicap: a device for collective bargaining on the first tee
Anon

If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle
Anon

I’ve spent most of my life golfing, the rest I’ve just wasted
Anon

Lunch at an American golf course: Club sandwiches, link sausages, par-snips, sliced tomatoes, tea, puttatoes
Anon

Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh
Anon

May thy ball lie in green pastures... and not in still waters
Anon

My body is here, but my mind has already teed off
Anon

Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss
Anon

The best wood in most amateurs’ bags is the pencil
Anon

There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies
Anon

The sport of choice for the urban poor is basketball. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling. The sport of choice for front-line workers is football. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis. The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf. Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become
Anon

To some golfers, the greatest handicap of all is the ability to add correctly
Anon

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit
Anon

Fame is addictive. Money is addictive. Attention is addictive. But golf is second to none
Marc Anthony

Baseball players quit playing and they take up golf. Basketball players quit, take up golf. Football players quit, take up golf. What are we supposed to take up when we quit?
George Archer

If it wasn't for golf, I'd probably still be a caddy
George Archer

One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good
George Archer

Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result
Tommy Armour
~ B ~
 
His driving is unbelievable. I don't go that far on my holidays
Ian Baker-Finch, on John Daly

Almost a quarter of our planet is a single mountain range and we didn't enter it until after Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin went to the moon. So we went to the moon, played golf up there, before we went to the largest feature on our own planet
Robert Ballard

Severiano Ballesteros Sota
Nickname: Seve.
Spanish professional golfer, born in 1957 in Pedrena, Cantabria, and died in 2011.
Ballesteros turned professional in 1975. He was one of golf’s leading figures for two decades from 1976 when at the age of 19 he came second in The Open Championship (British Open). He won more than 70 professional tournaments, including five major championships between 1979 and 1988 (three Open Championships and two Masters Tournaments). He will be remembered as one of golf’s most gifted players. He was inducted into the World Golf Hall of Fame in 1999.

I’d like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everyone would have to play from the rough, not just me
Seve Ballesteros
 
I look them in the eyes, shake their hand, pat their back and wish them good luck. But I am thinking, ‘I’m going to bury you!’
Seve Ballesteros
 
The only time I talk on a golf course is to my caddie. And then only to complain when he gives me the wrong club
Seve Ballesteros

They say I get into too many bunkers. But it is no problem. I am the best bunker player
Seve Ballesteros

Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket: if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia. The ball changes everything
Michael Bamberger

Baseball reveals character; golf exposes it
Ernie Banks

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing
Dave Barry

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball
Dave Barry

Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks – No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. Howard’s excellent Tennis for Beginners
Henry Beard

‘Play it as it lies’ is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other is ‘Wear it if it clashes’
Henry Beard

Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole in one
Martha Beckman

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air
Jack Benny

The more you play it the less you know about it
Patty Berg

Golf is played by 20 million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun
Jim Bishop

No man has mastered golf until he realizes that his good shots are accidents and his bad shots are good exercise
Eugene R. Black

Yeah, after each of my downhill putts
Homero Blancas, when asked if he had any uphill putts

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?
Al Boliska

If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up
Tommy Bolt

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you’re dead
Tommy Bolt

If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf
Percey Boomer

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living
Julius Boros

I may be the only golfer never to have broken a single putter, if you don’t count the one I twisted into a loop and threw into a bush
Thomas Boswell

I don't like watching golf on TV. I can't stand whispering
David Brenner

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool
George Brett

Trouble is, I don't get to play a lot at the moment because I've just signed a contract where I've got to do 200 shows a year in pubs, so the golf's fallen away a bit
Eric Bristow

Fairway: that which a player playing six on a long hole is heard to answer when asked how far it is to the flag
Tim Brooke-Taylor

Stance: the position in which one stands immediately before clubbing an innocent tee to death
Tim Brooke-Taylor

The trouble that most of us find with the modern matched sets of clubs is that they don't really seem to know any more about the game than the old ones did
Robert Browning

What's nice about our tour is you can't remember your bad shots
Bob Bruce, about the Senior Tour

You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do
Bob Bruce

I get in my golf cart with my dogs, I have five dogs
Delta Burke

The average golfer doesn't play golf. He attacks it
Jack Burke

A golf course is nothing but a pool room moved outdoors
Frank Butler