Summary of John Townsend's Beyond Boundaries

Everest Media

Description

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.
Sample Book Insights:
#1 Part 1 looks at how trust is broken in relationships, and what happens to the person on the receiving end. It explores the role that healthy boundaries play in protecting and healing people from further damage.
#2 We are designed to seek out relationship and hope that it will be a positive thing. We experience a draw to find someone outside of our own skin with whom we can share life. We want someone to understand us and help us find solutions to our problems.
#3 We are drawn to connection because we want and need it at a deep level that cannot be ignored. It can be pleasurable and fulfilling to love and be loved, and it can be painful and unfulfilling when things break down.
#4 Trust is the oil that keeps the relational machinery running smoothly. It is not a luxury, but a vital component for any good relationship. Without trust, relationships cannot flourish.

Sujets

• Religion
• Christianisme
• Love
• Love (disambiguation)
• Family
• Philosophie et théologie
• Relationships
• Christian Living

Informations

• Publié par: Everest Media LLC
• Date de parution: 04 mai 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781669399933
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Insights on John Townsend's Beyond Boundaries
Contents Insights from Chapter 1 Insights from Chapter 2 Insights from Chapter 3 Insights from Chapter 4
Insights from Chapter 1

#1

Part 1 looks at how trust is broken in relationships, and what happens to the person on the receiving end. It explores the role that healthy boundaries play in protecting and healing people from further damage.

#2

We are designed to seek out relationship and hope that it will be a positive thing. We experience a draw to find someone outside of our own skin with whom we can share life. We want someone to understand us and help us find solutions to our problems.

#3

We are drawn to connection because we want and need it at a deep level that cannot be ignored. It can be pleasurable and fulfilling to love and be loved, and it can be painful and unfulfilling when things break down.

#4

Trust is the oil that keeps the relational machinery running smoothly. It is not a luxury, but a vital component for any good relationship. Without trust, relationships cannot flourish.

#5

The draw to relationship is a part of what makes life worth living. It is not the problem, but how we respond to it that is. We can become vulnerable to self-deception if we are with someone we care about.

#6

The honeymoon period in a relationship is the first few weeks of a significant connection with someone, during which we see only the good in them. These idealizing periods help us store up good experiences in relationships so we have something to fall back on when we eventually wake up to reality.

#7

A breach of trust in a relationship is when you no longer believe that the other person will always be there for you, and you doubt that they are who they say they are. When this happens, you have lost trust.

#8

There are two types of trust in a relationship: functional trust and relational trust. In functional trust, you feel you can depend on the other person’s behavior and commitments. In relational trust, you feel safe with the other person revealing your vulnerabilities and feelings.

#9

When trust is damaged, it is common for the person who has been hurt to become more reserved about discussing personal information. They may avoid situations in which they might feel vulnerable, open, or exposed.

#10

There are times when you must draw boundaries in your relationships, for your interests, for the sake of the relationship, and for helping the other person as well. The place and purpose of boundaries is the topic of the next section.

#11

When words fail, boundaries must be set. This means that when an individual fails to acknowledge the effect of his or her actions on you, you must set a limit. A boundary is simply a property line that defines where you end and the other person begins.

#12

There are two types of boundaries: defining and protective. Defining boundaries are values that establish who you are and who you are not. They are at the core of your identity and reflect what you believe is important and valuable in life. Protective boundaries are designed to guard your heart and life from danger or trouble.

#13

A defining boundary is something that defines you as a person, and you cannot change it. You must accept it and not change it. But you can change your protective boundaries if the other person responds to them in a healthy way.

#14

Your boundaries will create a space between you and someone in your life. The person will have a choice to either bridge the separation by making changes and becoming more loving or to increase the distance by moving further away or even leaving the relationship.

#15

When you set and keep good boundaries, you create space and separateness in your relationship that has consequences for the other person, but it is also important to understand that these same boundaries have emotional consequences for you.

#16

The return of desire is the key to understanding what happens when you set boundaries. It is important to understand that your desire to reconnect with an offender will always be stronger than your anger and fear.

#17

When you set boundaries in a relationship, you create space between you and another person. This space defines you as two separate individuals with different minds and opinions, but who still benefit from being connected to each other.

#18

When we are vulnerable to desire, it can be a problem or a solution. It can lead to a problem if we give in to it too quickly, but it can also lead to a good result if we respond to it with patience and understanding.

#19

When you want to reconnect with someone, it can mean good things are happening inside you. You may imagine what it would be like to get to know someone who is interesting to you or interested in you.

#20

When desire returns after you have protected yourself with boundaries, it is difficult to put the genie back into the bottle.