Conditional Love

birdy june

Description

conditional love is a nonfiction poetry collection describing the impact of religion and unkempt mental health on a young american woman

“a journey that ebbs and flows

conditional love

describes the frailty of human nature

the process of growth

and the purpose of pain

through abuse love and depression

healing becomes possible

through awareness

in the power of the mind”

conditional love is a personal healing journey chronologically written and divided into four distinct chapters: experience, feel, process, and heal. her story is a beautiful display of growth through self-love, awareness, and constant encouragement for personal reflection.

Sujets

• Love
• Love (disambiguation)
• Poetry

Informations

• Publié par: Archway Publishing
• Date de parution: 22 décembre 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 2
• EAN13: 9781665731386
• Langue: English

Extrait

conditional love
 
a christian american’s cry for mental health reform
 
 
 
birdy june
 
 
 
 

 
Copyright © 2022 birdy june.
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
 
Archway Publishing
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.archwaypublishing.com
844-669-3957
 
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
 
Scripture quotations marked (NIV) taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®
Copyright © 1973 1978 1984 2011 by Biblica, Inc. TM
Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
 
Scripture marked (NKJV) taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
 
ISBN: 978-1-6657-3137-9 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-6657-3138-6 (e)
 
Library of Congress Control Number: 2022918436
 
Archway Publishing rev. date: 12/22/2022
to acquire wisdom is to love your self
people who cherish understanding will pro sper
Proverbs 19:8 (NLT)
contents
experience
feel
process
heal
 
there is a longing in us all
for something
unconditional
love that will not leave
fail
waver
or need
to be healed
we long for what we miss
for what we try to reveal
but as humans
we live
conditionally
experience
it doesn’t happen overnight
some things take years
of distance
change and understanding to drive forgiveness
into the faults of our upbringing
how you raise a child is everything
it’s who they become unwillingly
the characteristics they can’t shake
i remembered the worst
and embroidered it
subconsciously
pop- tarts next to pillows
in the closet on top of my shoes
phone calls on landlines
whispering in the dark amused
there were no boundaries nor locks
even with my own room
constant chaos overwhelmed while
the need to escape shined through
self-pity project ions
i took the burden
when there could have been no load to bear
with proper release
self-love
and therapy
you could have taken care
when your father
is your abuser
it’s commendable
to stand up for yourself
when your mother
is your abuser
it’s disrespectful
to out her
but i would better understand
an abusive father
because he didn’t carry me
for nine months
and feed me
from his breasts
how could a mother
become so unattached
to those who are
a part of her
– a daughter
the intentions don’t matter when the outcome is vain
releasing the steam allows you to fo rget
regardless of who is burnt along the way
covered in mud and tears
i sat alone
at age five or six
they left me
because my feelings are insignificant
or that’s what it taught me
for the next twenty years
it hurt me
when my cries weren’t met with love
whipped fury in an eight-by-ten
lonely
surrounded
unknown
playing with barbies and sadness
i waited
probably seven years old with pale-pink kitten heels
straps and a sequined butterfly
i loved them
picked out a fresh ruffle-trimmed
pair of white ankle-highs
it’s funny i thought
you were mad about style
i wanted to wear more
than the bruises
that showed the next day
because new shoes
aren’t supposed to be worn without permission
because it’s cold out
because they’re being saved for easter
because anything’s enough of an excuse
to beat a child
with a wooden cedar plank
a metal yardstick
with your words
that could break down steel
it’s evil
the transfer of undealt with emotions
to a child it’s permanent
the damage
constantly searching
for a deeper understanding
fighting for attention without internal reflection
her time was never set aside
as a priority
for the benefit of us all
my hope is not to form disoriented relationships
but to mend
the formerly unexplained
to repair the broken
through the perspective of a developing child
because i remember the feelings
as if they were scars on my face
lonely and left out
of feeling good enough
for myself
my life
and worst
for my family
being the youngest
is being last in line
looking for somewhere to fit
desperately grasping
to help
while not being
appreciated
for existing
for being an individual
instead of an instrument
– how shall i make you feel validated
when i was raised as an afterthought
my gifts
the attributes towards which i gravitate
were taken from me
by options of
better
careers and a lack of encouragement
please where was it
i need to know
because it hurts
not being taught to flourish
but to bend
i think i’ll always go back to 7:00 a.m.
sitting on the heater vent
smelling the sugar beet
jacket finally home
happily serene
eating cereal
you
mia
and me
mornings miss that
the comfort of our routine
when i listened to you and you listened to me
sunday ser vice
religion has been used
as a control method
by those who have none
over their own beliefs
but even religion is a choice
worthy of dissecting
with intensity
– why would you base