Infinite Times More

nyrd

Description

Neida Y. Reyes Delgado or you can call me wolfine. Baby steps, breathe, breathe, and breathe. That’s all I can do. Short and simple except it’s completely not simple. This path and destination infinite times more is entirely never ending. There’s phrases and pit stops. There’s heartbreak and loss. There’s misery and guilt. Self-destruction of a girl in her late teens and early 20’s. Nothing is suppose to make since that’s okay. There are pieces of Wolfine in all her ache, joy, and passions being shared. Wholeheartedly and no ounce of regret. A spiritual battle between her angels and demons, the good and the bad, the bold and the damned. In her own head, she has only spiraled and forever it seems she’s destined to only taste chaos and never peace. This journey is not for pity nor attention this journey is one on one with you. This journey is ultimately to say, you are not alone friend. Mental health is a constant battle each day but on the days, everything seems much more grim pick me up because you always have a friend in me. Why go through these trials and tribulations by yourself? Why minimize your growth by not expanding your horizon of wisdom and knowledge? My darling, you are loved. You matter. There are things if I could I’d tell my younger self as she sobbed throughout each poem. Most importantly, I’d embrace her and whisper to her, “it will be okay, your emotions are valid, you are this way because God or even fate set you out to be this way.” Trust in it, trust in the love of the higher power that truly values you, trust in knowing that even in your darkest pit redemption and change is never impossible to grasp.

Sujets

• Poetry
• Infinite
• Times

Informations

• Publié par: Xlibris US
• Date de parution: 16 janvier 2023
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781669860860
• Langue: English

Extrait

infinite times more
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
nyrd
 
Copyright © 2023 by nyrd.
 
Library of Congress Control Number:
2023900644
ISBN:
Hardcover
978-1-6698-6088-4

Softcover
978-1-6698-6087-7

eBook
978-1-6698-6086-0

 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
 
 
Rev. date: 01/12/2023
 
 
 
Xlibris
844-714-8691
www.Xlibris.com
846366
CONTENTS
I’m Sad
Guilt and Furthermore
Touch the Clouds
Unbind Me
Disappear for a While
Choke hold
Shinigami Eyes
mas vida
Dear Mom and Dad I Forgive You
Full Moon
Before
Subconscious
The Ghost of You (Part One)
The Ghost of You (Part Two)
The Ghost of You (Part Three)
Because of Her
My Little Kitten
Tempo Solo
(Un)censored
Hot as Hell
Part of Me
Oppressor
Tell Me, God
Take It Slow
Grow Up
These Are the Moments in Time
Villain Era
Purgatory
Internal and External
In the Air
Straight Menace
Bañarme al Sol
Self-Inflicting
VR
Gifted
Wolfine
Dominator
You’re My Humanity
Sick Brain
Hinder
Lost Cause Lookin’ for a Clause
More Than Rare
Indisputable
Happy Birthday
Taurus
Dear Ex (Part 1)
Dear Ex (Part 1)
Dear Ex (Part 1)
Psychotic Rage
Battle Cry
Till Dawn
Hell Boy
Cuidarme
Vacant
POV
Energy
Mana
Allure to Darkness
Am I Amendable?
Iridescent Soul
Little Miss Bliss
Cigarettes
Light
Monster
Gnarly
New Heights
Revive
Head to the Clouds
Baby
My Time
Sin City
Toxic
Split Personality Disorder
Guardian Angel
Dying Dying Dying
Happily
Ever
After
Too Late to Apologize
Advisor
Out Law
Soldier
Time to Tap In
A Fate Worse than hell
Maniacs
Dear Mom,
Baby Boy
Alive and Well
Provider
Graceful Silhouette Part 1
Graceful Silhouette Part 2
Just a Nomad
Destined to Be Damned
Meant for More
Drifter
No Hidden Agenda
Infinite
Kill Me First
Spirited Away
Cross My Heart
Subconsciously at War
Eulogy
I’m Sad
It hurts to force you to say I love you,
Brother, I wish I wasn’t someone you had to get used to,
I try to do good, but repeatedly I screw things up from my every view,
Jona, my Jona, I wish I was more like you and not like euphoria’s rue,
I breathe in and out, and I’m not surprised my karma is my only virtue,
I am sad, and if I write as if I’m not, then I’d be completely untrue,
Forgiveness is a luxury I cannot yet afford,
As well as love and trust, I betrayed you all again before,
My dear little brother, Hector, I know you’re smart, but I’m no good for your devotion nor amor,
So I’ll cry and pray on my downfall because I know I’ll never truly soar,
Mana has wings I’ll never relate to, even though she was always my mentor,
She’s the greatest to do it for she’s in heaven taking action as a conquistador,
Here on earth I look at my mother, and I see I’m not the one she truly wants to adore,
And I see my father’s eyes, and I’m aware he’s hoping I’d eventually leave through that door,
My dear sister, my dear brothers, I truly feel I am done for,
I’ve felt this way my whole life. What can I say? I don’t recall anything else at my core,
I try more than I should. At this point, my perception needs to be no more,
I only wish you can forgive me until the memory of me no longer follows you like a tormentor.
 
NYRD
09/16/22
Guilt and Furthermore
Dawn will rise and so will I,
Anger reveals itself when depression latches on to pry,
Filled with guilt of moments I would utterly lie and sly,
She knows me well enough, so she had to say bye,
I never meant to break you apart and make you cry,
Ghosted with just photos and letters to remind me of how high I used to soar,
Now I barely let myself feel deeper than the surface of my core,
Broken and alone, my soul was meant to ultimately leave me poor,
Darkness follows and I can’t stop the liquor from flowing out to pour,
I seek refuge from these islands shore,
Take me before Lucifer comes through that fucking door,
Pity me, god, because this guilt eats me alive like a fucking whore,
I never deserved her and nor was I meant for her infinite amor,
First and last time I’ll ever let my heart open to be adored,
First and last time I’ll ever let my heart and body be explored,
I’d break myself first before I could be something you’d hoped for,
God, be there to take this drink out of my hand like it was a chore,
Stop this pattern and make me come undone with gore in this bloody war,
Maybe, just maybe, I could finally become something everlasting more.
 
NYRD
04/30/22
Touch the Clouds
I’m drif ting,
Said I always played vi ctim,
That I was better off without liquor in my sy stem,
Made the worst choices and drifted farther from wi sdom,
I could lie and say I have it under control, but baby, we both know I’d look du mber,
Getting high in my four walls to Lana Del Rey’s summer bu mmer,
Such a classic. A$AP Rocky is a top tier gu nner,
I think of you ever so often. I doubt I’ll ever rec over,
Laying low for the meantime but it’s getting harder to keep my mind out of the gu tter,
Won her, lost her, and spun her all ar ound,
I ain’t shit, but a quickie to be aro used,
Weak for one and one alone, so you can imagine how my eyes don’t br owse,
But mentally, I’m still so sick, and all I wanna do is touch the cl ouds,
Get away from myself but my life is needed here for it’s what God al lows,
Ringing in my ears, it’s not music, but whispers and ominous so unds,
This demonic presence wants to be seen, so it serenades me with gr owls,
I could show my hand and give a frown, but I’ll smile and act res ound,
A pack of night owls, we are accustomed to hearing other painful h owls,
When I think of you, Karen, I imagine things to do to you and for you for h ours,
Happy place, happy space in my mind, I tuck you away because this love is strictly ours,
I won’t show my hand ’cause people only know how to turn things bitter and sour,
But if you want, you can grab my book this winter for it’ll only give me so much more p ower,
Devour each word of my twisted mind as I devour her lotus fl ower,
Still I am drifting, still I am sinking, but baby, I’ll die before I turn into another co ward,
I’ll touch the clouds one day, but today’s not the motive I should think to emp ower,
I wanna see my sister again, but I need her eyes to be pro uder.
 
NYRD
08/2 9/22
Unbind Me
Insomnia has left me color-blind,
Death intertwined with me like it was meant to bind,
Hovering the ceiling this is my own hellish design,
Slipknot essence, we are truly not your kind,
I can’t describe the feeling of utterly losing your mind,
Sharpened and hyphened, but ultimately not inclined to be bold and outlined,
The stars told me a long time ago this shit wouldn’t ever be aligned,
Gun clutching in my holster, maybe it’s time I’ve resigned,
These thoughts hit me like bullets when it’s ill timed,
The target moves and plays trickery with every expression I’ve rhymed,
Tell me, god, is this the fate you’ve declared to be assigned?
Is death my twisted remedy to remind me to prosper and grind?
To never let the bad moments and thoughts consume me whole until my aura is deeply unkind,
Help me not to rewind but to sincerely unbind.
 
NYRD
04/26/22
Disappear for a While
Every vow I break becomes my guilt,
Every bridge I burn is profound regret,
Every line I’ve crossed costs me my respect,
Every breath I now breathe is my everlasting karma,
Forever I’ll be sorry, but for an eternity I’ll gravely suffer,
And I could love you harder, but I still don’t deserve to be anybody’s lover,
Tonight I feel it all so sincerely. I must hide beneath the covers,
It’s true I’m the black sheep of the family for I’m nothing like my brothers,
I stay for them for they’re the only ones that love me unconditionally like no bloody other,
I could do right by them this time and not like how I did to my sweet mother,
I miss you more than life, but I probably shouldn’t bother her,
I probably should stop to think more before I continue to dishonor her,
I should remain silence and proper or make an effort to be something of a scholar,
God, take this noose off around my collar,
Take these traumas away and sedate me to make me calmer,
I don’t want to live in my home and feel like a damn squatter,
If I could, I’d take these demons to be slaughtered,
But if I could ask of anything, God, could you turn this wine into water,
Exchange these pills for something much st