13 Moons Over Vietnam: 10th Moon ~ Ambivalence

Ben Thieu Long

Description

Military Police enforce regulations and laws. However, some situations in war zones don't fit perfectly inside the lines. Follow the ongoing challenges that one MP faces as he grapples with gray areas between right and wrong in Vietnam.

Sujets

• Religion
• Christianisme
• Historical
• Coming of Age
• Military
• Christian
• War
• Fiction

Informations

• Publié par: Outskirts Press
• Date de parution: 30 mai 2023
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781977265531
• Langue: English

Extrait

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13 Moons Over Vietnam: 10th Moon ~ Ambivalence All Rights Reserved. Copyright © 2023 Ben Thieu Long v2.0
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
The opinions expressed in this manuscript are solely the opinions of the author and do not represent the opinions or thoughts of the publisher. The author has represented and warranted full ownership and/or legal right to publish all the materials in this book.
This book may not be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in whole or in part by any means, including graphic, electronic, or mechanical without the express written consent of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
Outskirts Press, Inc. http://www.outskirtspress.com
Cover & interior images © 2023 Ben Thieu Long. All rights reserved - used with permission.
Outskirts Press and the "OP" logo are trademarks belonging to Outskirts Press, Inc.
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Table of Contents
Preface: 10th Moon
Introduction: 10th Moon ~ Ambivalence
Chapter 139: POLICE WORK: Stateside Preview
Chapter 140: NIGHT OF DISTRESS: The Intruder
Chapter 141: POLITICS: Dangerous Bedfellows
Chapter 142: PICK YOUR POISON: No Escape
Chapter 143: POUND OF FLESH: Payback
Chapter 144: BIG IDEAS: Seeking Purpose
Chapter 145: LIFE VEST: Faith and Conscience
Chapter 146: SPITEFUL: Locked Out
Chapter 147: THE STRUGGLE: Truth and Trust
Chapter 148: SOMEBODY TO LOVE: War Bride
Chapter 149: BREAKING BREAD: Unique Partners
Chapter 150: PERSPECTIVE: People are Strange
Chapter 151: AMBUSH: Thu Duc Trap
Chapter 152: BLIND DATE: Hesitant Partners
Chapter 153: LOVE IN COGIDO: AWOL
Chapter 154: DARK ALLEY: Bolder Partners
Glossary
Author Biography
Preface: 10th Moon
Through much of September, Ben remains on night convoy and related duties. However, circumstances force him to address his contradictory behaviors and dual-identity patterns. Consequently, his letters home express a deepening concern about his identity, purpose, and personal worth.
In the final week of September, Ben is transferred to the Combined Police unit. He begins to patrol regularly with the Vietnamese National Police and the ARVN QCs. These close interactions prompt him to reconsider his prejudices.
Thirteen Moons over Vietnam is a thirteen-volume series based on a military policeman’s tour of duty. Although this is one soldier’s experience, these stories and letters are representative of the trials faced by generations of veterans during war.
Ben Thieu Long (pseudonym) believed he was prepared for war but faltered repeatedly in his response to temptation and moral choices. When his behaviors betrayed his values and commitments, Ben’s sense of morality and spiritual well-being seemed to be steadily slipping away.
Introduction: 10th Moon ~ Ambivalence
Ambivalence is the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something. When ambivalent, people are torn between different emotions and thoughts, and this indecision often leads to confusion and anger.
September unfolds as a painful crossroad for Ben Long. He had mastered the stress of running convoys in the dark and developed an unwavering determination in the face of uncertainty. However, familiar troubles undermined his morale during off-duty time. The troubles that most persistently tormented him were drug use, emotional turmoil, spiritual concerns, and worries about his future.
This time, however, these troubles were more unsettling than ever and fueled a heightened tension about potential consequences. Recognizing his contradictory behavior and erratic emotional state were increasingly sabotaging his life, Ben was desperate to resolve his ambivalence.
Transformative Changes
In response to his experiences in Vietnam, Ben embraced four significant behavior changes. Although these changes felt appropriate for his day-to-day survival in a war zone, each began to alter his life in unforeseen ways.
Ben’s first behavioral change was a shift from empathy to distrust. He arrived as a compassionate young man, and his compassionate nature remained intact for several months. (See 3rd Moon: Discord, Story 31 ~ Deep Duty; 5th Moon: Insight, Story 61 ~ Bloody Highway, and Story 69 ~ Death on the Shoulder). However, he also began to feel distrust early in his tour and expressed callousness in unsettling situations. (See 1st Moon: Innocence, Story 6 ~ Streetwalking Blues, and Story 14 ~ Wounds and Scars; 2nd Moon: Story 25 ~ Born Into War). To detach from guilt about adopting this new attitude, Ben withdrew emotionally from himself and his wife. Unfortunately, this behavioral shift steadily worsened throughout his thirteen months in-country as he replaced sensitivity with callousness and emotional detachment.
In Ben’s second significant change, his moral compass pivoted from integrity toward criminality. He associated with fellow MPs engaged in escapist drug use and the illegal black market. (See 1st Moon: Innocence, Story 10 ~ Death’s Deliverymen; 2nd Moon: Story 18 ~ Saigon Tourist, Story 21 ~ Black Market, and Story 22 ~ Mama San’s Parlor). Ben concealed his illicit activities through an elaborate masquerade and became adept at deception to mask his contradictory Jekyll and Hyde characteristics. (See 3rd Moon: Discord, Story 39 ~ Mirror Mirror, and Story 40 ~ Identity Discord; 5th Moon: Insight, Story 65 ~ Disguises).
Ben’s shift from a passive style to readily using preemptive aggression was a third behavior change. He was initially reluctant to take forceful action. (See 1st Moon: Innocence, Story 9 ~ Lost Cargo; 3rd Moon: Discord, Story 37 ~ Intruders at Pier Ten). However, after his transfer to highway patrol, Ben embraced force and aggression as his first response to any threat. (See 4th Moon: Remorse, Story 54 ~ Embrace Aggression; 6th Moon: Friction, Story 79 ~ Zero; 8th Moon: Strife, Story 116 ~ The Accident).
Ben’s fourth significant change was an increasingly impulsive urge toward risk-taking. He exhibited a tendency toward reckless behaviors. Although some of his behavior choices risked injury or death, Ben indifferently dismissed the potential consequences. (See 4th Moon: Remorse, Story 49 ~ Big Money; 5th Moon: Insight, Story 67 ~ Exploration; 6th Moon: Friction, Story 90 ~ Best Shot; 8th Moon: Strife, Story 112 ~ Impulsive Urge).
These changes were so uncharacteristic of Ben that some friends suspected his aggressiveness and recklessness were a self-destructive escape from his angst about betraying commitments and violating his moral code.
139
POLICE WORK: Stateside Preview
September 2, 1970
Special Assignment
Ben entered the hooch and headed for his bunk. Frank Succors approached him with a puzzled look on his face.
"Where have you been? I heard a rumor you’re on temporary assignment to the 615th."
"Geesh, do you miss me?"
"Don’t get weird, man. I’m just saying we haven’t seen your ugly mug on the road the last couple of days."
"I miss being on the road, that’s for damn sure. But, unfortunately, I’ve been stuck with post duty," Ben moaned, placing his helmet on top of his wall locker.
Tucker Bronson overhead them and couldn’t resist interrupting with his usual sarcastic jab. "He probably sucked up to some lifers in the 615th to get that candy-ass duty."
Ben glared but didn’t respond.
"Well, are you going to tell us about your assignment, or do we have to beat it out of you?" Frank teased.
"Hey, I just go where they tell me."
"Oh, yeah, like you’re a guy who always does what you’re told."
"He probably volunteered for special assignments to get a promotion to Sergeant," Tucker accused.
"Fuck you! It’s the opposite – the 615th treats me like an FNG. I’m writing traffic tickets at the PX."
"Real police work, huh?" Tucker jested. "It sounds like they’re grooming you for a Stateside duty station after you agree to re-up."
"That’s never gonna happen," Frank scoffed. "Ben’s not Regular Army material."
"I don’t know about that. Every time I’ve been with Ben on patrol, he’s as gung-ho as you are!"
Ben angrily flipped Tucker off. "Fuck you, asshole."
Foot Patrol
"How about we let Ben explain his situation," Frank admonished.
Ben glared at Tucker. "You know we don’t pick our assignments. HQ does. I didn’t ask for this 615th duty any more than working with obnoxious guys like you."
Tucker sprung to his feet, and Frank raised his hand. "Hold on, let’s hear him out."
"The 615th Sergeant said reckless drivers had nearly hit pedestrians at the PX, so they assigned foot patrols to the area," Ben continued.
"I can’t even get time off to go to the PX," Tucker complained, plopping back onto his bunk.
"It’s not my fault Command picked me. The 615th is undermanned and needs help controlling traffic."
"Command likes you. You’re their special MP! That’s why they pick you to drive Sergeants and Officers," Tucker jibed.
Frank sighed, trying to ignore Tucker. "So, Ben, how was that PX duty?"
"It was miserable. I spent the entire day walking around the parking lot."
"But I bet you’ll love your Stateside assignment," Tucker chuckled.
"Do you ever get tired of being an asshole? Foot patrol is worse than sitting on a static post, even with you."
"How many guys did you write up?"
"None. There were no signs in the area. I didn’t think anyone deserved a ticket when they didn’t know the rules."
Frank rolled his eyes. "I bet that didn’t go over well with the brass."
"No, they weren’t happy with me. The Sergeant chewed me out for not doing the job properly."
Tucker laughed and shook his head. "You seem to get in trouble no matter where you work."
Frank scowled at Tucker but returned his gaze to Ben. "So, what’s next for you?"
"I told the Sergeant