Gods Galore

Rupert Stanbury

Description

The Olympian Gods have made it to the 21st century AD. We may not have heard much about them in the last two thousand years, but they're still controlling what we humans are up to - or at least they think they are.The reality is that the Gods are like us - they've got problems!Zeus is still Top God on Mount Olympus, but he's got issues with many of the younger gods. His brothers, Hades and Poseidon, have issues with themselves - they're getting too set in their ways ruling the Underworld and the Seas; they probably need a job change.But help is at hand from an unexpected source - we humans.It's surprising what a dose of good common sense can do for even the most powerful of the gods, especially when it comes from a couple of teenagers!

Sujets

• Fantasy (canción de Mariah Carey)
• Fantasy

Informations

• Publié par: Troubador Publishing Ltd
• Date de parution: 28 novembre 2021
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781800466807
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 2 Mo

Extrait

Copyright © 2021 Rupert Stanbury

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers.

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ISBN 9781800466807

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Matador® is an imprint of Troubador Publishing Ltd

This book is dedicated to my late mother and father, Coora and Ronald Stanbury, who inspired my love of books.


Contents
Principal Characters
Introduction

Before the Council Meeting
Going Underground
The Gods’ Council
The Dog and Duck
The King of the Underworld
Father and Son
The Torturing Department
‘Life’ in The Kitchens
The Sea God’s Cavern
Time for Change
The Boulder and the Hill
Shopping in Yorkgate
The Cricket Match
Becoming Beautified
Number 5 Carnation Drive
Even Gods Need Sorting
Community Matters
Discombobulation at The Palace
Fighting Fit
Becoming Poshified
The Equalities Committee
Impressing the Boss
Drinks on the House
The Return of The Queen

Epilogue


Principal Characters
Zeus’s Realm
Aphrodite – Goddess of Love
Apollo – God of Archery, Dance, Music and much more; Artemis’s twin
Artemis – Goddess of the Hunt; recently developed an interest in feminism and equality matters
Athene – Goddess of Wisdom
Bacchus – God of Wine; also proprietor of the Dog and Duck public house
Beetle – A tortoise, resident at the Dog and Duck
Mr Bumble – Beadle; member of Zeus’s and Hera’s household
Mrs Bumble – Housekeeper to Zeus and Hera
Fearless Frupert – A six-year-old boy
Florence Nightingale – A nurse
Hebe – Servant Goddess; often visits Hades’ and Poseidon’s realms.
Hephaestus – Builder God
Hera – Goddess; Zeus’s wife
Hermes – Messenger God; currently spending most of his time studying nuclear thermodynamics
Iris – Messenger Goddess
Lennie – An eagle, resident at the Dog and Duck
Marie Antoinette – Former queen of France; now Hera’s maid
Mars – God of War
Norbert (‘Nobbly Butt’) – Builder working for Hephaestus
Mistress Quickly – Hostess of the Dog and Duck
Zeus – King of the Olympian Gods
Hades’ Realm
Mrs Aggycraggywoggynog (‘Aggy’) – Head cook in charge of the Kitchens
Attila – Former King of the Huns; now works in the Torturing Department
Cerberus – A three-headed dog
Death – A ‘being’ who transports people to the Underworld
Genghis Khan – Former Mongol King; now works in the Torturing Department
Gigliola – Works in the Kitchens
Hades – God; King of the Underworld
Homer – Once a writer, now Head Librarian
Ivan the Terrible – Former King of Russia; now works in the Torturing Department
Ming – Vesta’s friend; works in the Kitchens
Nelson – Works in the Kitchens
Persephone – Goddess, Queen of the Underworld and Hades’ wife
Satan – Director of the Torturing Department
Sisyphus – A former king who pushes a boulder up a hill
Vesta – A newly arrived girl in the Underworld
Virgil – Once a writer, now Assistant Librarian
Vlad – Formerly known as Vlad the Impaler when he was King of much of Eastern Europe; now works in the Torturing Department
Mr Wong – Works in the Kitchens, having once run a Chinese restaurant in Alderley Edge, England
Poseidon’s Realm
Amphitrite – Goddess; Queen of the Seas and Poseidon’s wife
Bettina – A small whale; Moby’s fiancée
Dolores – Housekeeper to Poseidon
Gerrard and Suki – Two whales who are friends of Moby’s
Hashimoto – Poseidon’s butler
Kinky, Linky, Minky and Pinky – Mermaids living in the Sea Cavern
Moby – A large white whale
Poseidon – God; King of the Seas
Totty Turniptoes – Hair stylist, beautician and fitness instructor; used to live in Romford, Essex
Hamburg
Fritz – A man who lives under a tarpaulin; claims to be the Kaiser
Gropuddle – Fritz’s dog
Inga and Judit – Two young ladies ‘working’ in the docks area
Monaco
Ahmed – A guest on the Princess BoomBoom yacht
Kirsty – A PA on the yacht
Jade, Chloe, Marie and Nicky – Party girls on the yacht with Totty
Yorkgate
Albert Titebotham – Stanley’s son; a butcher
Angie Rowbotham – Stella’s niece, for whom she works
Doreen Higginbotham – Runs a clothes shop
Eustace Uselessbottom – An English cricketer, playing in a test match at Headingley
Kasia, Gosia, Svetlana and Viktoria – Employees in Doreen’s workshop
Mervyn Loosebottom – Trevor’s cousin; a technology genius
Oswald Titebotham – Stanley’s grandson; a schoolboy
Stanley Titebotham – A butcher
Stella Sidebottom – Hairdresser and beautician
Trevor Loosebottom – Runs the general store; friend of Hebe’s


Introduction
Homer is thought to have written the Iliad and the Odyssey in the eighth century BC, while Virgil wrote the Aeneid about seven hundred years later in the first century BC. Both writers were concerned with the fall of Troy towards the end of the second millennium BC and the events which took place subsequently.
I first read these three ancient classics as a young adult. Many years later I decided it was time for a re-read, which triggered a renewed fascination in the various Olympian gods that are central to the three stories. This got me thinking about what these gods might be up to three thousand years later and so I decided to record various tales of their adventures in this small book called Gods Galore .
By way of background, we need to go back to the time before Troy fell when three gods, who were also brothers, drew lots to decide who should reign in the various parts of their joint empire. Poseidon drew the Sea, Hades claimed the Underworld and Zeus became God of the Sky, which also included the Land. Since Mount Olympus was in the sky, this became Zeus’s home and it was also the place where many of the other gods lived.
It should come as no surprise that over the past three thousand years, many of these gods have both changed and developed in parallel with humankind. In Gods Galore we now find that Bacchus is no longer just the God of Wine but has also taken responsibility for all alcoholic drinks, especially beer. Additionally, he runs a pub which is at the heart of much of Olympus’s social life. The goddesses Iris and Hebe have decided not to live in grand palaces but in a modern bungalow, where live Premier League football matches are regularly screened. Artemis, while still the Goddess of the Hunt, has become an ardent feminist as well as a supporter of other progressive causes, including ‘new’ political concepts such as democracy.
Some things, however, never change. Zeus still has his thunderbolts and continues to chase after attractive females. Wherever there are references to ‘hanky panky’ or ‘extra-curricular activities’, Zeus will inevitably be involved. Mars, as the God of War, continues to create trouble and strife both in the world and on Olympus, often to the general consternation of many of his fellow gods.
The relationships between the gods and humankind are at the heart of these tales. The Underworld is filling up all the time and Hades needs to find useful employment for the new arrivals. Historical figures such as Attila the Hun and Genghis Khan are able to employ their former skills in the Torturing Department. Others work in the kitchens, the mines and on building sites. A few people are seconded from the Underworld to Olympus or Poseidon’s realm to assist the gods. Bacchus is fortunate to have Mistress Quickly from Shakespeare’s historical plays to act as hostess of his pub; the former French queen Marie Antoinette and Dickens’s Mr Bumble, together with his wife, are members of Zeus’s household, and Poseidon’s cavern has a Japanese butler and a South Carolinian maid working there. In addition, there are a number of other new characters, many of whom turn out to be particular catalysts for change, especially in the lives of the older gods.
As a number of readers will be aware, most gods have both Greek and Roman names. I have decided to use their Greek names with two exceptions. These are Mars, the God of War, and Bacchus, the God of Wine, where I have used their Roman names because, on balance, I believe they are more generally recognised than their Greek equivalents of Ares and Dionysus.
Finally, I recognise that there may be some classical scholars who might take exception to my portrayal of various gods and goddesses. This could relate to their personalities, their roles or even their powers. I would ask such critics to accept that Gods Galore is about the gods in the twenty first century AD, and that the changes to humankind in the past three thousand years will in part be mirrored in the lives of the gods. I wrote this book with the sole purpose of it being an entertaining read; if it achieves that objective, it has done its job. Put another way, I do not claim to have written the fourth great classic about the ancient world, although if it is still being read in another thousand years, perh