Mama's Got a Brand New Bag

Hope Lovejoy

Description

A phantom rectum is the least of Aki's problems; at least it behaves itself in public. No, it's her stoma that has a mind of it's own, gurgling and rumbling without any sense of propriety. Standing in the middle of the grocery shop, her trolley half full, her pouch fit to bursting, there's a slight fug in the air and her fellow shoppers start to take notice. Oh, the humiliation...Aki had not expected to live life with a colostomy bag. But then, does anyone expect a routine colonoscopy to result in a punctured intestine? To hell with it! It's not the end of the world and millions of people with colostomy bags live normal lives. As for Aki, given she's Japanese, this falls front and centre into her psyche for hygiene and cleanliness. The only spanner in the works: she has married an Englishman, seemingly raised by wolves, happy to clean his hands on the inside of his pockets and eat food that has fallen on the floor.This could get messy!

Sujets

• Humour

Informations

• Publié par: Troubador Publishing Ltd
• Date de parution: 28 mars 2019
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781838598778
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Copyright © 2019 Hope Lovejoy

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Cover illustrated by Ignacio Corva.

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ISBN 9781838598778

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For my wife, who showed great courage in the face of adversity.
Contents
Foreword
1. Monarch
2. Adonis Blue
3. Purple Emperor
4. Wavy Maplet
5. Peacock
6. Black Prince
7. Apollo
8. Pearl-Bordered Fritillary
9. Orange-Tailed Awl
10. Cramer’s Green Hairstreak
11. Eastern Ringed Xenica
12. Red Lacewing
13. Western Blue Beauty
14. Malay Red Harlequin
15. Brimstone
16. Black-Tufted White-Spot
17. Queen Alexandra’s Birdwing
18. Ringlet
19. Small Copper
20. Chalk Hill Blue
21. Painted Lady
22. Dark Yellow-Banded Flat
23. Mabille’s Red Glider
24. The Bhutan Glory
25. Luzon Peacock Swallowtail
26. Velvet Bob
27. Common Five Ring
28. Spider-Wing Cupid
29. Chocolate Albatross
Foreword
This is a short story about a small family of three: Aki, Peter and their daughter, Summer. It covers a fleeting period of their lives, just four months in fact. There was a relatively innocuous error, which resulted in a doctor perforating Aki’s intestine when he removed a polyp during a routine colonoscopy. This story details the tiny steps Aki took to recover from the surgery to repair the perforation and find her way back to normality.
This is not an extraordinary story about a family overcoming dire illness or physical disability. Nor is it an epic account of how Peter took on the pharmaceutical institutions and won a landmark case of medical malpractice. It is not even a heart-warming tale about how this changed their lives, and how Aki overcame her trauma to go on to achieve greatness in one way or another.
As the author, I like to think this is simply a heartening tale about how the family coped throughout this ordeal. It is a story that takes an upbeat view of living with a stoma and colostomy bag, which millions of people do. The tale reflects the different ways Peter and Aki muddled through during this period, based on their respective English and Japanese customs and habits. It is also an account of the institutionalised medical profession in the South East Asian country where they live, and the corporations that wield influence behind the scenes, and how their response to such events is depressingly predictable. Empathy, openness, fairness, recognition and compensation were in short supply. Instead, doctors hid behind a facade of denial, reputation, threats of financial ruin, legal mumbo jumbo, an impossibly high bar to prove culpability, oh, and peace offerings of fruit baskets. Accordingly, the names have been changed to protect the innocent or is it the guilty?
No, this is a story told a million times over across the world, day after day. In Aki’s case, she remains on the road to recovery. Her body still bears the scars of the surgery she underwent. They will be a constant reminder of the small error that turned their lives upside down, albeit briefly. Peter would say that I can’t use the term ‘error’. The doctor insists he did nothing different when he removed Aki’s polyp to what he’d done the thousands of times he performed the procedure previously. But what do I know? If you burn a hole through someone’s intestine, then it sure seems like an error to me, though I’m not a lawyer – I’m just a writer.
This tale also considers the ‘butterfly effect’ caused by the perforation of Aki’s intestine. It was a small error, but the ripple that it caused touched theirs and other people’s lives.
Peter calls Aki his butterfly; he always has done since they first met. She’s beautiful, subtle and delicate. He often refers to her recovery from her surgery as if she re-emerged from a chrysalis. She took time to mend herself, and once again became the beautiful woman he loves. The butterfly is taken as a theme through the book; it aims to remind us that, whatever happens in your life, you can take stock, reflect, heal, recover and emerge as a dazzling, confident person once more. As such, each chapter starts with a brief description of a butterfly, which is in celebration of this beautiful species and the metamorphoses they go through.
Dr Paine from St Jekyll’s Hospital, the doctor who punctured Aki’s intestine, happily carried on performing colonoscopies, oblivious to the consequences of his actions, and without any admission that he is in any way liable or at fault.
Chapter 1
Monarch
Monarch butterflies are quite beautiful. They are a vivid orange and black colour, with little dots, and a wonderful black, fuzzy body that is almost like a little fur coat. They’re delicate, but are a busy and feisty butterfly. The monarch would probably give a bee a bit of a mouthful if the bee wandered onto a flower the monarch rested on.
Six years ago, Aki and Peter left St Jekyll’s’ Hospital with Summer, who was a wonderful, healthy, one-week-old baby. As slightly older parents – Aki was thirty-nine, and Peter forty-four – they were blessed that their coupledom had expanded to a tiny family of three. Life would be full of unknown adventures from this point on, and, due to the absence of a customer-service counter that took returns, there was no going back. Summer was only going to have the best. They stepped out of the hospital and were met by blue sky. Rays of sunlight flickered off the bonnets of the doctors’ high-end motorcars on the hospital forecourt. It was hard not to think this would be the start of an amazing and wonderful adventure. Summer was crooked under Peter’s arm and tucked up in a Maxi-Cosi baby carrier. She was dressed in a beautiful white Bonpoint elfin dress, with delicate embroidered daisies inlaid in gold, and a matching bonnet. By a quirk of nature, genes and jaundice, Summer looked like a South American orphan child. And – even though, for the past week, they’d heard her screaming and wailing from a hundred yards away as she was brought from the nursery room for feeding – this did not diminish their love for this small, precious thing.
Aki was glowing with the joy of new motherhood. Yes, her nipples were sore, but she stepped out into the warm sun, after a week in the maternity ward of St Jekyll’s Hospital, feeling overwhelmed at being a mum. Aki was wearing a flowing, floral-print Diane Von Furstenburg dress, which fluttered gently in the breeze. Her hair was held back by a pair of dark Gucci sunglasses. She was the epitome of a professional mother who would take motherhood, like everything else, in her stride. Peter, for his part, hurried around in front of her, pointing out steps, opening doors and forging a safe passage through the crowd. Though he had failed to bring handfuls of rose petals to sprinkle at her feet. Would that have been too much, perhaps? But that’s how life felt on an occasion like this.
This was Peter’s third trip to the car. He had made two prior journeys with bouquets from well-wishers; Aki’s bits and bobs; and an emergency welcome basket of nappies, bottom cream, wet wipes, shampoo and body wash. They discovered in time that none was, in fact, their daughter’s preferred brand. The nappies’ sticky tabs were two rigid, and rubbed against Summer’s delicate skin; the wipes too soggy and perfumed; and the shampoo stung her eyes too much. You get the picture. Perhaps this was why everything in the box was free in the first place.
Peter imagined the chief executive officer (CEO) of the global conglomerate that made the brands, saying in his quarterly update meeting, “If we can’t persuade people to buy these over the counter, let’s give them away to the hospitals.”
But Peter and Aki did not know this at this time; instead, they were jubilant. The basket felt like discovering an emergency survival kit, found at the bottom of a life raft while marooned at sea. They flipped though the basket of wonders excitedly. There were creams, powders, wipes, bottles and rubber nipples. It was a slight glimpse of a new world they would face soon enough.
They duelled using rock-paper-scissors to see who would win the lucky privilege to change their darling baby first; the winner wiping the peachy bottom and fitting a snug nappy while Summer cooed happily. They then drove a route home that ensured the sun was on the opposite side of the car to which their precious daughter was sitting, so Summer would not bake in the heat of the sun’s rays through the car window.
They were absolutely terrified in reality. They’d read the baby books and attended the prenatal classes. Still, neither of them could quite believe a responsible hos