Doireann, Boook. It’s Book Granda!

Garrett Martin Richard Hearns

Description

This book offers a factual account of Irish grandparents minding their granddaughter, including funny interactions and dreadful meltdowns.
Doireann’s development is captured over a thirteen-month period known as the “terrible twos.” Her urge to overcome and master physical obstacles is a continuous challenge.
As grandparents, the author and his wife needed plenty of energy to keep up with her. They faced physical demands along with the imaginary role-playing their granddaughter constantly wanted to act out. They also learned that a toddler is like a sponge—and you must be careful what you say around them.
In addition to depicting the trials and tribulations of child rearing, the author highlights the benefits of Vygotsky’s social learning theory, the Zone of Proximal Development. Later referred to as Scaffolding, by Jerome Bruner, David Wood, and Gail Ross, it assists a learner to build on prior knowledge.
With a glossary of slang words and funny misspellings and written in a diary-type format, this book will serve as an informative account for anyone who spends time with and cares about children.

Sujets

• Humor
• Family

Informations

• Publié par: AuthorHouse UK
• Date de parution: 21 juillet 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781728374345
• Langue: English

Extrait

Doireann, Boook. It’s Book Granda!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
GARRETT MARTIN RICHARD HEARNS
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
AuthorHouse™ UK
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403  USA
www.authorhouse.co.uk
Phone: UK TFN: 0800 0148641 (Toll Free inside the UK)
UK Local: (02) 0369 56322 ([phone] from outside the UK)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
© 2022 Garrett Martin Richard Hearns. All rights reserved.
 
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
 
Published by AuthorHouse 07/20/2022
 
ISBN: 978-1-7283-7433-8 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-7283-7435-2 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-7283-7434-5 (e)
 
 
 
 
 
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
 
 
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
For Rosemary
CONTENTS
Foreword
Glossary
 
Chapter 1       The Terrible Twos
Chapter 2       No Monkeys in Cork!
Chapter 3       A White Elephant in Camolin?
Chapter 4       You Can Do Your Work, I Go See Granda
Chapter 5       Ho, Ho, Ho
Chapter 6       Teddy Pink is Having a Rest
Chapter 7       The Beast from the East / Red Alert
Chapter 8       Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde
Chapter 9       The Codebreaker
Chapter 10     Kidnapped (Sort of)
Chapter 11     I Didn’t Hurt Her Ears
Chapter 12     That’ll Be on Your Tombstone
Chapter 13     Reading a Magazine
Chapter 14     My Top
Chapter 15     I Did It, I Did It
Chapter 16     World War III
Chapter 17     Neenah, Neenah, Neenah
Chapter 18     The Ragged-Trousered Philanthropists
Chapter 19     Granda’s Birthday
Chapter 20     A Promised “Picmic”
Chapter 21     They Are Lazies
Chapter 22     S-C-A-R-E-D of the D-A-R-K
Chapter 23     Forty Shades of D
Chapter 24     Bless Me
Chapter 25     Lionel Missy
Chapter 26     “Will You Say Hello to Teddy, Granda?”
Chapter 27     Balamory and the Indian Wedding
Chapter 28     Doireann Is a Hippy: Peace, Brother
Chapter 29     From a Hippy to a Punk Rocker
Chapter 30     “Granda, You Will Have to Be Careful, Okay.”
Chapter 31     Planting Flower Bulbs with Granny
Chapter 32     “It’s a Cyst”
 
Bibliography
FOREWORD
My name is Oisín. I am 15 years of age and studying for my junior cert. My granda is the author of this book. At the age of 64, he was awarded a Bachelor of Arts degree in Applied Social Studies (Professional Social Care) from IT Carlow (Wexford Campus), Ireland.
When my younger sister was 3 months old, my granny and granda cared for her three days a week until she was 3 years of age so that Mam and Dad could go to work.
When my sister reached the age of “the terrible twos”, my granda started to take notes of daily happenings, with a view to writing a book, which would be educational and of interest to grandparents. It was to help them understand and deal with the daily tantrums of a 2-year-old, which can create havoc and be upsetting at times.
The following are two separate passages from his book:
“How are you today, Teddy Pink? Doireann left you at home on Wednesday for a well-earned sleep because you were tired,” Granda said.
Teddy Pink didn’t talk, as sometimes she got very shy and will only talk to Doireann. Granda handed Teddy Pink back to Doireann, who had been observing everything. She gave Teddy a big hug and a smile. She then thanked Granny and Granda for taking care of her.
***
They then had your normal brotherly/sisterly spats.
Later on, Oisín sat on the bed with Granda, and they talked about different things. They were soon joined by Doireann, who sat on the other side. Granda put his arms around them both and gave them big cuddles. When they got bored, they left.
“Ah, Oisín, leave that for Doireann,” Granny told him, meaning her TV seat. While Doireann sat at the kitchen table, finishing her breakfast, Oisín sat in her TV chair, and she was not having it. She continued to kick up until he moved.
Later, Granda went into the dining room, only to see her and Oisín sitting side by side on “her” TV chair, watching the telly as if nothing ever happened.
I have always admired my granda, in that he can bring humour to a situation before it explodes. He has a great interest in young people and in their progress through life.
His main motivation for writing this book, is to offer something back to the educational field, based on what he studied and learned at college.
Oisín
GLOSSARY
aaaaaaah/oooooooh . sounds made when trying to overcome a resistance
amborghini . Lamborghini car
arthur fishal . artificial
A-tishoo! A-tishoo! sneezing
biro . a pen
bolonase . bolognaise
boooks . books
breaked . broke
brekkie . breakfast
byeee . goodbye, elongated
byeeeeeeee . goodbye, elongated
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee . goodbye, elongated
byeee, Grannndaa . goodbye Granda, elongated
cardoring . cardigan
‘cause . because
Cheerios . a breakfast cereal
co. co. county council
Déise . early settlers in Waterford
Doireann . girl’s name in Irish, pronounced ‘Dear-rin’
Easist Rist . Jesus Christ
elicious . delicious
excira . Dublin lingo for excited
FA . Football Association
GAA . The Gaelic Athletic Association
Gangar . Granda
Ganny . Granny
Garda / Gardai . policeman / policemen
Granda . Grandad
Grann-daa, Grannnn-daaaaa . Granda, elongated
Granneee . Granny, elongated
here-eeerrrrre . Here, elongated
horhay . Jorge; Spanish for George
Hokey, Hokey Pokey . communal song
howaya . Dublin lingo for “how are you”
howya . Dublin lingo for “how are you”
I catched it . I caught it
I want to do a wheeee . Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
lazies . ladies
lelicious . delicious
lellow . yellow
libria . library
Lionel Missy . This is a play on the name Lionel Messi.
Mammeeeeee . Mammy, elongated
Mammmmmeeeeeee . Mammy, elongated
Man City . Manchester City
Man Utd . Manchester United
me ears. Dublin slang for my ears
mo . moment
moooosic . music by cows, elongated
moosic . music by cows, elongated
NCT. National (Ireland) Car Test
noooooo . no, elongated
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo . no, elongated
o’glee . of glee
oooooooh . to squirm
oul . slang for ‘old’
picmic . picnic
porditch . porridge
puter . computer
Rishie . Richie
sausies . sausages
shaysins . stations
snotted . deposited snot
Snowy . the polar bear
spag-ball . spaghetti bolognese
Spurs . Tottenham Hotspurs
Sudocrem . antiseptic healing cream
talk-a to . talk to
Teddeeeeeeeeeeee .Teddy, elongated
telafouwn . Posh pronunciation of telephone
The Ragged-Trousered Philanthropists by Robert Tressell . A reference only to the main characters, “painters and decorators” (in this book)
tweetment . treatment
waggly tail . a wagging tail
wee-wee . go to the toilet
wha’ . slang for “what”
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee . shouted as you drive down a ramp
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee . screamed as you run down a ramp
ya’ll . you all
yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah . yes, elongated.
you’re welcome . you are welcome
yous . you all
yuck . a strong distaste or disgust
yum-yums . tasty food
Baby
I’m baby ya’ll waited for … and …
Mammy phoned Mammy to say I’s on the way
Be ready an’ waiting ’cause today is the day
28 July 2015
Its 9:33 and time for a “scream”
I drove Mammy’s capsule during the night
As big bro’ lay sleeping, with expectant delight
Daddy delivered Mammy at the hospital on time
Mammy delivered me, Doireann, after nine
As I lay there winded, with the odd burp or two
It’d be twenty-four hours afore more family due
Including cat Kafli and Oisín to see
Was I, all excira and oh full o’ glee?
Hello to my world, my family, and friends
My story begins, oh life never ends!
CHAPTER 1
The Terrible Twos
5 August
Uncle Gary and Aunt Suzie were on a quick visit from the United Kingdom. They had dinner in Granny and Granda’s house. Mammy, Daddy, Oisín, and Doireann were there also. Later, while playing outside in the back garden, Doireann peered in through the kitchen window, with her nose pressed firmly against the glass pane, causing everyone inside to laugh at Miss Piggy.
14 August
“ Be careful or you’ll have an accident,” Granda warned Doireann as she jumped up and down on Granny and Granda’s bed. “Do you know what an accident is?” Granda asked her.
“Me?”
Later, when eating cherries, she called Granda over, and pointing at the fruit she was eating, she said, “The nut.”
“Good girl, Doireann, and well done for telling Granda.” He removed the nut for her.
Granda is called Gangar. Sometimes of late, she giggles cheekily when