Modern Divorce and Mediation

Dr. Roham Ghassemi

Description

The purpose of this book is to provide a brief explanation of mediation, specifically divorce mediation. It talks about the many benefits of divorce mediation over the adversarial process, which involves two attorneys representing the two sides to negotiate and argue on their behalf.

The reason I have called this book Modern Divorce is because of the way everything around us is taking a new and modern path in our everyday lives.

Sujets

• Family Law
• Droit et juridique
• Law

Informations

• Publié par: Xlibris US
• Date de parution: 20 mars 2023
• Nombre de lectures: 3
• EAN13: 9781669866619
• Langue: English

Extrait

MODERN DIVORCE AND MEDIATION
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Dr. Roham Ghassemi
 
Copyright © 2023 by Dr. Roham Ghassemi.
Library of Congress Control Number:
2023902419
ISBN:
Hardcover
978-1-6698-6663-3

Softcover
978-1-6698-6662-6

eBook
978-1-6698-6661-9
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Rev. date: 03/20/2023
 
 
 
 
Xlibris
844-714-8691
www.Xlibris.com
849999
 
To my teacher and guide, Professor Nader Angha, who has always encouraged all his students to educate themselves in different fields and on all levels and who suggested to me to enter the field of mediation.
 
Roham Ghassemi has been a Mediator since 2004 and has been mediating both civil and family mediation for nonprofit organizations, such as DMS, Dallas County Dispute Resolution Services, and Southern Methodist University as a volunteer mediator. He is a full-time mediator for TDI Texas Department of Insurance and operates a private mediation service. He also holds a BS in Business CCU, MS in Psychology CCU, MLA in Negotiation SMU as well as a PhD in Psychology from CCU. He is a certified Mediator and a Certified Divorce Mediator. He has a corporate sector negotiation Certificate along with his real estate license in Texas Since 1996.
Author of books:
Substance Abuse and Cognitive behavioral therapy
Motivation and Knowledge
CONTENTS
Introduction
 
Chapter 1     What is mediation and divorce mediation
Chapter 2     The Benefits of Mediation in Divorce
Chapter 3     What Does Mediation and the Mediator Do
Chapter 4     The Process of Divorce Mediation
Chapter 5     Initial Interview
Chapter 6     When to Have Attorneys Involved
Chapter 7     Children in Divorce
Chapter 8     Dos and Don’ts in Mediation
Chapter 9     Mediation Settlement Agreement (MSA)
Chapter 10   Changes After the Divorce Is Final Just Like Any Traditional Divorce
INTRODUCTION
The purpose of this book is to provide a brief explanation of mediation, specifically divorce mediation. It talks about the many benefits of divorce mediation over the adversarial process, which involves two attorneys representing the two sides to negotiate and argue on their behalf.
“In mediation you remain in control of the process, instead of taking the risk of fighting in a courtroom where a judge may make the decisions neither of you wants” (Carol A. Butler and Dolores D. Walker, Divorce Mediation Answer Book , [1999], 3).
The reason I have called this book Modern Divorce is because of the way everything around us is taking a new modern path in our everyday lives, especially after the pandemic. We were forced to learn new ways to communicate and new ways to balance work, life, and family, and new ways to get to our goals. Even by having conflicts and disputes, it is much more efficient to get results through telecommunication or video conferences than through the in-person model.
“The pandemic changed our lives at work and home. Video and audio conferences replaced most face to face meetings including mediation. Now there is much anticipation and hope that face to face meetings will begin again since more of the population is being vaccinated. However, it is unlikely that all mediations will revert back to the pre-pandemic mode” (Thomas Repicky, Cleveland Metropolitan Bar Association, July 20, 2021).
This is no exception in getting a divorce. As more and more people realize the practical way to go through a divorce, they understand the benefits of going to mediation sessions. As divorce can be a highly stressful circumstance, it is important to reduce the stress level as much as possible by going to a mediator in a comfortable environment, which can be in the comfort of your own home. From the way we communicate with one another to the way we research everything, we are interested in ways of doing everything simpler, more effective, and more convenient.
In most settings we can see individuals develop new skills and experiences during the pandemic. Whole population has been forced into a crash course on modern technology, and the benefitual result is more people than ever have skills and knowledge to work effectively and get more work done from anywhere.
As everyone is preoccupied with living their everyday life, society has developed in a significantly more modern way. As time goes by, more and more people are getting familiar with mediation. They have experienced and learned the importance of mediation as it reflects on the way they do things and resolve conflicts. Mediation has shown and is continuing to show how it helps resolve issues and conflicts in the workplace and even in families. Most people have had some experience with mediation, for example, when siblings have an argument and the parents intervene. The parent acts as the mediator, or when students in a classroom have a conflict and the teacher intervenes; the teacher acts as the mediator.
Growth creates opportunity, and with it comes the need to adjust which can lead to conflict. Mediation is one of the most successful tools for dealing with conflict and is an addition to the legal system. In the last few years, mediation has found its way into almost every contract that we sign.
For example in real estate contracts, “Mediation: it is the policy of state of Texas to encourage resolution of disputes throCugh alternative dispute resolution procedures such as mediation” (Texas Real Estate Commission (TREC), “One to Four Family Contract,” p. 7, par. 16).
“We agree to go to mediation when a dispute rises before taking matters further,” which has changed lives and the way we do business. At the same time, mediation has saved people from a lot of stress, headache, time, and money when people do have a dispute.
Knowing how everything is changing around us, we are learning to change our behavior as well. To be able to benefit from what this alternative has to offer, we have learned to be more practical and rational in comparison to being frustrated and emotional. We use the help of these new tools and information to find answers and get past all the things that keep us from gaining full control over our lives when issues come up.
Getting a divorce may top the chart in conflicts, not only do you have to dissolve your marriage contract, but you also have to separate yourself from an environment and relationship, in which you were accustomed to living for a long time, that’s becoming baneful. The relationship that you entered with certain beliefs, understandings, and judgments, you must now learn how to live without and change your ways. That’s why so many of your feelings and emotions are involved when getting a divorce. Since it is not as simple as just talking about putting feelings aside and just focusing on dissolving the marriage contract, the process may become very complicated and uncomfortable, especially if you don’t have the basic expectation of what you are going to face and be prepared for.
When there is a conflict with a contract, it is obvious we can hire an attorney to have a better understanding of the contract and our options to negotiate are based on what is written, but in circumstances like a divorce, your emotions are involved. You can’t just always go and dissolve a relationship as you do in a simple contract. There are so many other aspects to consider to ensure closure is received as it’s not like a simple resignation from a job where you can put in a two-week notice and it’s done.
In a regular contract, feelings and emotions are not that involved, and therefore, you are not under so much stress about your life and your children’s lives. Since the future life and finances for you and your children are to be affected by this decision, lots of unanswered questions come to mind. These questions and all the unknowns and lack of control/knowledge in divorce are the main reasons we feel vulnerable. It makes us just want someone to take over and solve our problems, but with less understanding of the process comes less control of the outcome and of closure. Not only is it not helpful, but it will also prolong the process and the cost involved to have an attorney do it on your behalf. Mediation in most divorce cases is beneficial when you understand the divorce process and can make your own decisions and get the results quickly. The main reason why mediation is a beneficial option provided is so you can get a chance to have your voice and your own ideas heard and to be part of the process along with having more control of the outcome.
“Probably 80 percent of divorcing couples are better off mediating, the others should let their lawyers negotiate for them. Although most couples can work out fair and reasonable agreement with the help of a mediator, some are stymied for a variety of reasons” (Paula James, The Divorce Mediation Handbook [1997], 17).
To have control of the outcome is the most important matter in every dispute. It is important to have the option to express your