I Survived Workplace Bullying Three Times

Nancy S. Stjepanovic Dip Prof Couns

Description

A Workplace Bible: Learn how to survive bullying at work
We are not victims of our circumstances
and bullying does not have to be a negative experience
With this inspiring book, Nancy S. Stjepanovic shares her experience of being bullied at work and guides us through the healing process that transformed her life. We learn that healing is possible and bullying does not have to be a negative experience.
Through her healing journey, Nancy explored the fundamentals of bullying. Why it happens. Why people bully and how to heal from it. She discovered that external conflict is a reflection of internal conflict. And the only way to heal is to go within. Emotional healing is a process of exploring our belief system and releasing emotional blocks. It is not necessary to relive the bullying experience. It is not necessary to go into the trauma but to become a neutral observer of what needs to be transformed.
To help with our transformation, we are invited to follow the three-step process in this book that takes us on a self-discovery journey filled with compassion for self and others.
...the universe knows what we need, which may not align with what we want,
but we just have to trust it…

Sujets

• Santé et bien-être
• Développement personnel
• développement personnel
• Dépression
• Stress
• Antidepressant
• Depression
• Self-help
• Post-concussion syndrome
• Workplace bullying
• Estrés
• Personal Growth

Informations

• Publié par: Balboa Press AU
• Date de parution: 27 novembre 2013
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781452511405
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

I Survived Workplace Bullying Three Times
 
And Lived To Tell My Story
 
 
 
 
 
Nancy S. Stjepanovic, Dip Prof Couns
 
 
 
 

 
Copyright © 2013 Nancy S. Stjepanovic, Dip Prof Couns.
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
 
Website: https://snscourses.com
Mb: 0407 234 219
 
Balboa Press
A Division of Hay House
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Bloomington, IN 47403
www.balboapress.com.au
AU TFN: 1 800 844 925 (Toll Free inside Australia)
AU Local: [phone] ([phone] from outside Australia)
 
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
 
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
 
 
 
ISBN: 978-1-4525-1139-9 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4525-1140-5 (e)
 
Balboa Press rev. date:  08/15/2022
Contents
Preface
Introduction
 
1   Workplace Bullying
2   My Story
3   Additional Stories
4   Building Resilience
Preface
This is a revised version of the book I first published in 2013, as I wanted to improve the flow to give the reader a better experience.
This book is about my personal journey of being bullied out of a job three times: how I went from trauma to triumph, healing successfully and releasing the bullies from my reality with compassion and forgiveness.
All experience in life has a purpose, and so does bullying. We are not meant to fall into despair but to grow from the experience.
I hope that this book inspires and encourages your healing and liberation.
Introduction
This book is about my own experience with bullying at work and how I healed from the trauma without depending on medications, drugs, or alcohol. I was bullied out of a job three times at three different organisations and have lived to tell my story.
My intention with this book is to inspire and encourage those still affected by the trauma of being bullied. You are not alone, and there is help available. In this book, using my life-changing method of releasing negative emotions, I will show you how to let go and move on. It is a natural way of healing where everyone benefits—even the bully.
More than half the workforce worldwide is affected by bullying, with detrimental outcomes. Employers have limited tools to work with. Legislation and protocols designed to punish, restrict, and separate focus mainly on behaviour management strategies. We have to take into consideration all aspects of the self, physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Only when all aspects of the self are healed we can let go and move on from the trauma.
Being bullied at work is a traumatic experience that can ruin your life. It can lead to depression, loss of motivation, anxiety, addictions, job loss, financial loss, family and relationship breakdown, burnout, and even suicide.
Unfortunately, current legislation and organisational protocols designed to resolve bullying conflicts are ineffective because there is no emotional release. The strategies address only the physical aspects with behaviour management, but painful emotions are stuffed down and not talked about. To truly heal from bullying, we have to go within to explore our belief systems and repressed emotions. That is how I found my healing.
My first experience with bullying came in primary school when I was around ten years of age. I was never bullied, but my friends were. They were too scared to stand up to the bully, but I was not. I could not bear to watch the injustice and often got into fights to protect my friends.
That was back in the 1960s. Life was different then. Physical fights amongst children were not frowned upon as they are today. We were encouraged to stand up and fight so we can survive in the cruel cold world.
My personal experience in being bullied came much later in life as I was progressing up the corporate ladder. I worked in social services and was not afraid to speak up if there was unfair treatment of the staff or clients.
I have a habit of challenging people in management positions if I feel that welfare of the people we are meant to serve is compromised or comes second to organisational progress. I know that financial viability is important, but people are equally important.
Seeking justice in response to bullying is a lonely and painful road. Instead of blaming the bully or wanting them punished, there is a better way that benefits everyone.
In this book, you will find stories or scenarios provided by my friends and clients. I wanted to include their personal stories of being bullied to offer a broader perspective and show how each person’s story unfolded. The stories are true, but for reasons of privacy, all names are fictitious. I give gratitude and thanks for their contributions.
As I walk you through my journey from breakdown to breakthrough, I want to remind you that we all have the power to create the life we prefer. No matter how we are treated by others, we can and have to take responsibility for our own growth. It took me several years to see the pattern developing and to work out what to do about it. It took three very stressful times in my life for me to realise that I have the power to heal and end the trauma of bullying.
I spent many hours in contemplation and reflection to understand the concept of bullying and asked many questions.
Why do some people use force to get their point across?
What pleasure do they get from bullying others?
Where does that behaviour come from?
Why me?
Why does the bullying pattern keep repeating in my life?
Am I missing something?
What do I need to learn from this experience?
After these many hours of questioning, meditating, soul-searching, connecting with nature, reading about human behaviour, and spiritual development, I eventually found my answers.
I came to a conclusion that bullying is nothing more than emotional manipulation. It is not happening because I am bad or unworthy. It is happening because there is an imbalance or incongruence within the belief system which creates insecurities.
Bullies mask their insecurities either with dominant behaviour, forcing their way through to get what they want, or in passive ways, such as withholding information to purposely set someone up for failure. Bullies try to draw others down into their level of powerlessness to make themselves somehow feel more important. The victims of bullying also have an imbalance within their belief system. We all have some type of internal conflict, but it is more obvious in the people who speak up. The submissive souls suffer silently.
When we are bullied, our survival mechanism kicks in, triggering the “fight or flight” response as the ego perceives danger. Instead of responding defensively or simply running away, we can find other ways of dealing with bullying. When I finally reached that point of understanding, everything changed.
Experience with being bullied can have a positive outcome if we are open to seeing the bigger picture and make a conscious effort to explore our repressed emotions. Procrastinating and avoiding this work can result in stagnant energy and toxicity of the mind, body, and spirit, which in turn can attract more unfortunate and seemingly unrelated situations—car accidents, serious illness, or more bullying. But when the light goes off, we are finally reminded that we have the power to turn it all around.
I am living proof of that. When I realised that I was the common denominator in all three bullying situations, I made a conscious decision to make a change.
Each of us has the ability to take control of our life, but we have been conditioned to expect something or someone outside us to change first. We want to manipulate the external to feel better. But what’s necessary is quite the opposite. We have to change within before we can see change manifest on the outside.
As I hope you will see, bullying can be a positive experience. It teaches us to focus within and let go of beliefs that limit our potential. It teaches compassion for self and others. Bullies can be our greatest teachers. How?
You want to pursue an acting career, but your parents want you to be a lawyer.
You want to be your own boss but are afraid of losing a steady income.
You are afraid of leaving your partner because your parents would not approve.
You want to cut your hair short, but your partner prefers it long.
Who is it that you are going to please? Yourself, or others?
People-pleasing, lack of confidence, or an inability to speak up reflects fear