Master Your Fears

Linda Sapadin

Description

Praise for Master Your Fears

"Dr. Sapadin's fascinating guide to mastering our fears and constant worries is essential reading for these times. She offers readers a practical and powerful set of guidelines for taking control of their strong emotions and building a better life in the process."
-Philip G. Zimbardo, Ph.D., professor, Stanford University, and past president of the American Psychological Association

"Master Your Fears is a valuable self-help book written in clear language, with excellent advice, engaging quizzes, creative exercises and lots of anecdotes about people with all types of fears. Dr. Sapadin supportively explains the fearful lifestyle-and how to change the pattern. She connects with readers, venturing beyond theory and case studies, by openly discussing her own fears and how she overcame them. A must-read if you want to lighten your fear and brighten your life."
-Carol Goldberg, Ph.D., host and producer of the award-winning TV program Dr. Carol Goldberg and Company

"In this helpful book, Dr. Sapadin does not take a one-size-fits- all approach to the multifaceted experience of fear. Rather, she provides the reader with concrete, creative suggestions for mastering fears based on one's fear style. She also includes simple but powerful assignments that help you create positive change in your life. I will be recommending this book to my clients, friends and all those who allow fear to inhibit their lives."
-Pauline Wallin, Ph.D., author of Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-Defeating Behavior

"An inspiring, empowering book that will help any reader who has been paralyzed by fear or overwhelmed by a disorganized and chaotic way of living. Master Your Fears provides an abundance of creative yet practical advice on how to change self-defeating emotions and behaviors and leave your fears behind. I highly recommend it!"
-Barry J. Izsak, president of the National Association of Professional Organizers

"Master Your Fears is an excellent book for all those who are living a fearful lifestyle. Dr. Sapadin successfully blends effective strategies for conquering fears with a comprehensive approach for achieving life satisfaction and happiness."
-Elizabeth K. Carll, Ph.D., president
Media Psychology Division, American Psychological Association
Acknowledgments.

Introduction: A Personal Journey.

Part One: Understanding Your Fears.

1. Fear as a Way of Life.

2. The Five Fear Styles.

3. How a Fearful Lifestyle Develops.

4. Understanding the Change Process.

Part Two: A Program for Change.

5. Steps for Managing Your Mind.

6. Steps for Altering Your Attitudes.

7. Steps for Enhancing Your Language.

8. Steps for Transforming Your Speech Patterns.

9. Steps for Tuning In to Your Body.

10. Steps for Being Footloose and Fear-Free.

11. Steps for Acting Your Way Out of Fear.

12. Steps for Doing One Gutsy Thing.

Part Three: Life after Fear.

13. Fear Less, Live More: True Stories of Metamorphosis.

14. Other Approaches to Help You Master Your Fears.

Resources.

Further Reading.

Index.

Sujets

• Santé et bien-être
• Santé mentale & traumatisme
• Santé mentale
• Santé mentale
• Self-help
• Mood Disorders

Informations

• Publié par: Turner Publishing Company
• Date de parution: 02 mai 2008
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9780470342992
• Langue: English

Extrait

Master Your Fears
Master Your Fears
How to Triumph over Your Worries and Get on with Your Life
L INDA S APADIN , P H .D.
Copyright 2004 by Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. All rights reserved
Published by John Wiley Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey Published simultaneously in Canada
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, [phone], fax [phone], or on the web at www.copyright.com . Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, [phone], fax [phone].
Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and the author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.
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Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. For more information about Wiley products, visit our web site at www.wiley.com .
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
Sapadin, Linda.
Master your fears : how to triumph over your worries and get on with your life / Linda Sapadin.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0-471-27272-8 (cloth)
1. Fear. 2. Self-actualization (Psychology) I. Title.
BF575.F2S26 2004
152.4 6-dc22
2003017782
Printed in the United States of America
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
All case histories and examples mentioned in this book are composites of two or more persons. All personal names (except for those of the psychologists and other theorists I quote, as well as those of my own family members) have been changed. All potentially identifying details-professions, ages, places of residence, family backgrounds, and so forth-have also been changed. All quotations (again, excepting those of psychologists and other theorists) are paraphrases with some details changed to protect identities. Any similarity between these examples and any actual persons, either living or deceased, is purely coincidental.
This book is not intended as a substitute for psychotherapy with a qualified professional.
To my husband Ron and my sons Brian, Glenn, and Daniel, for their love, support, and enthusiasm
Contents
Acknowledgments
Introduction: A Personal Journey
P ART O NE
Understanding Your Fears
1 Fear as a Way of Life
2 The Five Fear Styles
3 How a Fearful Lifestyle Develops
4 Understanding the Change Process
P ART T WO
A Program for Change
5 Steps for Managing Your Mind
6 Steps for Altering Your Attitudes
7 Steps for Enhancing Your Language
8 Steps for Transforming Your Speech Patterns
9 Steps for Tuning In to Your Body
10 Steps for Being Footloose and Fear-Free
11 Steps for Acting Your Way Out of Fear
12 Steps for Doing One Gutsy Thing
P ART T HREE
Life after Fear
13 Fear Less, Live More: True Stories of Metamorphosis
14 Other Approaches to Help You Master Your Fears
Resources
Further Reading
Index
Acknowledgments
In my finer moments, I think of writing a book as a fun project. And for the most part, it is. However, it is also a long and frustrating project during which it is essential to be nurtured and inspired by encouraging people who gently reassure you and prod you beyond your doubts. I have been blessed to have many such people in my life, and it is my pleasure to acknowledge their contributions.
I am especially grateful to Ed Myers, who influenced this book in many ways. Ed, thanks for your excellent insights and advice, your writing and editorial skills, and your encouragement and reassurance. This book is a better book because of all you ve done.
I am most appreciative to my agent, Faith Hamlin, for nurturing me throughout the entire writing process. It s a long road from I ve got an idea to the joyous days of My book is in print! Faith, I cherish your continued support and confidence in me.
I am very thankful to my editor, Tom Miller, for his interest in the topic and for his counsel and wisdom. Tom, each recommendation you made has improved and strengthened this book.
Thanks also to Lisa Burstiner, my production editor, and to Amy Handy, my copy editor, for helping to bring this book to print.
Career goals are advanced not only by the professional people in your life, but also by your personal relationships-those significant others who inspire the best in you.
My husband, Ron Goodrich, has always been an ardent supporter of all of my ventures. His influence in this book has been invaluable, contributing ideas, insights, editing, and inspiration. When I am frustrated (and the writing process is a frustrating one) or perplexed about how to handle a matter (which happens more frequently than I d like to admit), Ron is there for me with an innovative solution and unending patience. Ron, your wisdom, good judgment, and unconditional love means so much to me.
I d also like to express appreciation to Ron and to my friend Sheila Peck who brainstormed with me on the title and subtitle of this book. It s a joy for me to be able to bounce ideas around with such creative minds.
I don t know if it s possible to be a parent and not have many moments of fear. But I do know, that if you don t inoculate your children with your own fears, they can be your best teachers. My three sons Brian, Glenn, and Daniel, have, each in his own way, taught me much about mastering my fears.
Brian, your enthusiasm for life, your love of music, and your willingness to chart your own course have been an amazing source of inspiration for me.
Glenn, your joy of travel, your enjoyment of the unusual, and your gregarious nature have provided me with extraordinary experiences that I would have been too timid to have on my own.
Danny, your confidence in yourself, your spiritual nature, and your commitment to action have helped me to become a more self-confident person.
Thanks my precious sons, for bringing me so much joy.
To my sister, Ruth Grant-the first kid in our family to have the courage to strike out on her own-thanks for making it easier for me in childhood; thanks for making it easier for me today.
To my brother, Robert Fink-who as a kid, could not help but defy and disobey-thanks for showing me another way to live. Good girls are usually scared girls.
Special thanks to my patients, friends, and family who had the trust in me and the courage in themselves to share their narratives, insights, and viewpoints. Respecting your confidentiality, I have altered identifying information or created composite characters for the stories in this book.
Finally, my appreciation to you, the reader, for your interest in my book. This book is a reflection of a lifetime of questioning, learning, and growing. If you would like to contribute to this body of knowledge, please write to me at [e-mail] or visit my Web site at www.DrSapadin.com or www.psychwisdom.com .
Introduction
A Personal Journey
There may be some kids who come into this world with courage, confidence, and guts, but I wasn t one of them. I come from fear. I was born sensitive and shy, and lots of things scared me. I worried about serious things, such as what it s like to be dead and how awful it must be to fight in a war. I worried about what other people thought of me, and I still remember coming home crying because my second-grade teacher, Miss Orr, had accused me of lying. Me! The girl who wanted to please, to do good, to be liked. The kid who would flee to her room and hide under the covers when the world felt too big and threatening. Little did Miss Orr realize that even if I wanted to, I was too scared to lie.
In contrast, today I m a confident, competent, and courageous adult. I ve had experiences that amaze me. Some things are truly unusual, like tracking mountain gorillas in Uganda or appearing on national TV. Others are just brave for me-speaking my mind without worrying about what other people think, disagreeing with an authority figure, or skiing a slope that s a bit beyond me.
Most of the time my fears don t control my actions-if they did, I wouldn t do half the things I ve done-nor do they take up a whole lot of space in my brain. I ve got better things to think about now. I wouldn t be honest, however, if I told you that all of my fears are a thing of the past. They aren t. Indeed, sometimes I seek out a project that will take me into unexplored territory, which reactivates my old fears. In those moments, I feel both excited and scared to death.
Writing this book is one of those thrilling, apprehensive projects. At this very moment, I m frightened and frustrated. I wonder why I torture myself with such a big project. I ask myself, What if I m in over my head? What if I just can