Stoicism, Bullying, and Beyond

Matthew Sharpe

Description

If you or someone you love is the target of bullying, backstabbing, or smearing, this is the book for you. Full of theoretical insights and twenty exercises for targets, it is the first book to apply Stoicism to bullying.
This is the first book applying Stoic philosophy, and its extraordinary exercises in resilience and self-care, to the epidemic problem of bullying and ‘mobbing’. Aimed preeminently at targets, it offers guidance on managing negative emotions, and making good decisions, in what for many people is the greatest challenge of their lives.

Sujets

• Stoicism
• Self-help

Informations

• Publié par: Balboa Press AU
• Date de parution: 29 juillet 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 2
• EAN13: 9781982295356
• Langue: English

Extrait

“Workplace bullying can devastate people’s lives. Matt Sharpe’s excellent book shows how Stoic philosophy can help us cope wisely and resiliently with such challenges.”
– Donald Robertson , author of How to Think Like a Roman Emperor: The Stoic Philosophy of Marcus Aurelius (2019), The Philosophy of Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Stoic Philosophy as Rational and Cognitive Psychotherapy (2020), and founding member of Modern Stoicism.
 
“Sharpe understands the terror of being mobbed at work, he captures that terror in engaging prose, and he draws from Stoic philosophy practical ways of recovering the joy of life. Few books this profound are as easy to read as this one. It will do a lot of people a lot of good.”
– Kenneth Westhues , Professor Emeritus, University of Waterloo, author of Eliminating Professors: A Guide to the Dismissal Process , coauthor of The Remedy and Prevention of Mobbing in Higher Education and other works.
 
“Being the target of workplace bullying and harassment is confusing and paralysing. Matthew Sharpe is providing us with a different perspective-based on case studies, history and literature. I think that this perspective can help validate a target in the early stages of bullying and harassment and provide some sensible options.”
– Evelyn M Field OAM.FAPS, author of Bully Blocking (2007), Bully Blocking at Work (2010) and Strategies for Surviving Bullying at Work (2011).
 
“Bullying at work? Consider a Stoic response. Matthew Sharpe tells how in this accessible and practical treatment.”
– Emeritus Professor Brian Martin , University of Wollongong, author of Justice ignited: the dynamics of backfire (2007), and Whistleblowing: A Practical Guide (2013).
 
“This book should be required reading for anyone in a position to exercise power over others. For those who are being bullied, it allows Stoic wisdom to be used as a powerful and practical tool to help address the injustice that they are subjected to.”
– Chris Halburd , NSW magistrate
 
“This book is a therapeutic read for anyone who has been the target of bullying. It makes a distinct contribution by providing a self-help guide that is informed by the practical wisdom of Stoic philosophy. It will be a welcomed companion for those who are striving to grow through the experience of being bullied––from its sensitive analysis of this experience, to the thoughtful exercises on how to best respond.”
– Dr. Rob Nolan , Clinical and Research Psychologist, Director of the Cardiac eHealth and Behavioural Cardiology Research Unit at the University Health Network, Toronto.
 
“In this timely book, Matthew Sharpe provides a helpful framework and practical tools for surviving the hidden but widespread scourge of workplace bullying. Based on insights from Stoicism and contemporary psychology, How to Keep Your Head is a lifesaver for targets of bullying and those who support them.”
– Brittany Polat , author of Tranquility Parenting (Rowman & Littlefield, 2019), co-founder Stoicare, steering committee member, Modern Stoicism
STOICISM, BULLYING, and BEYOND
 
How to Keep Your Head When Others Around You Have Lost Theirs and Blame You
 
 
 
 
MATTHEW SHARPE
 
 
 
 
 

 
Copyright © 2022 Matthew Sharpe.
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
 
Balboa Press
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Bloomington, IN 47403
www.balboapress.com.au
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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
 
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.
 
 
ISBN: 978-1-9822-9534-9 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-9822-9535-6 (e)
 
Balboa Press rev. date:  07/18/2022
DEDICATION
To anyone who has ever woken to find themselves the villain in someone else’s dream.
And to my family, of course.
“If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise …”
Rudyard Kipling, “If”.
“The best revenge is to be unlike the person who would harm you.”
“Wherever it is possible to live, it is possible to live well.”
“Remember that benevolence is invincible.”
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations , VI, 6; V, 16; XI, 18.
CONTENTS
Introduction : Stoicism, Bullying, and Mobbing
The Target Experience: When Your Rubicon has been Crossed
Stoicism, a shield to take into the battle
Prospectus
Chapter 1     Workplace Bullying or Mobbing
A social problem: from bullying to mobbing
The one-two punch: bullies must deny that they are bullying
The stages of mobbing
Effects on the targets
Stoicism and breaking from the mobbing’s “projective symmetries”
Chapter 2     An Introduction to Stoicism, for Those Who May Need It at Work
1. A philosophy, but not as we know it
2. That “virtue” (inner strength) is the only true good
3. the dichotomy of control
4. What is in your control? (The vampire analogy)
4. Emotions and their basis in beliefs
6. Belonging and community with others, and the need for dedicated exercise
Chapter 3     Stoicism and Taking Care of Yourself, First
Triage and repair, before acting
2. Starting from the Dichotomy of Control
3. Recovering your sense of agency, dignity, and worth (what is in your control)
4. Regulating your negative emotions (your responses to what you can’t control)
i. things you can’t know for sure (moderating suspicion and anxiety)
ii. things which have happened which you can’t believe (handling shock, moral injury)
iii. things you dread may happen, but can’t control (moderating fear)
4. Stoicism and checking rumination or automatic thoughts
5. Conclusion: the value of routine
Chapter 4     Stoicism and Choosing to Take Action
1. There is a beyond
2. Grieving plan A, and having a plan B
3. How to deal with insults and slights (moderating anger and outrage)
4. Decision time: recalling what you value, and the counsel of friends
4. Staying and fighting
Conclusion: not being like the people who would harm you
 
Appendix One : Stoic Exercises for Targets
Bibliography
Endnotes
INTRODUCTION
Stoicism, Bullying, and Mobbing
Ron had been working in management for over thirty years. He’d risen to become a successful leader in a tech company. But just when a major project he had spearheaded was about to be completed, Ron found himself relieved of his staff and responsibilities.
The new supervisor who made this change assumed full credit for Ron’s work. Ron was relocated to an isolated desk and no longer included in the meetings associated with running the company. All of this without any explanation. After a few months of this humiliating treatment, Ron’s mental and physical health was beginning to deteriorate. He was found “wandering the streets with blood streaming down his face. He had just walked into a wall.” 1
Sometime later, Ron suffered a heart attack, after a difficult work meeting. He was forced to go on disability leave and never returned to work. From riding high, in little time at all, Ron’s decades-long professional life was over, his good health now uncertain.
Sylvie was a nurse in a psychiatric institution. Her boss, a professor, decided to separate Sylvie from a particular colleague in whose work Sylvie was sharing. Confused, Sylvie requested a meeting to discuss why this transfer might be necessary. The Professor received her in his office, and asked her with a condescending smile whether she was no longer pleased with the clinic?
Sylvie tried to steer the discussion away from this oblique question back to the specific issue. But her boss only deflected her, affecting to not understand Sylvie’s concern, before ending the meeting and sending her away. Met by this brick wall, Sylvie went to her Union fo