Summary of Terrence Real's I Don't Want to Talk About It

Everest Media

Description

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.
Sample Book Insights:
#1 The issue of men’s depression is a difficult one to deal with, as it is seen as unmanly. It is a condition that is both shame-filled and shameful, and yet it is extremely impactful.
#2 Depression is a disorder of feeling, and yet men are often reluctant to acknowledge it. Men and women often express depression differently, and their pathways toward it are distinct.
#3 The traditional socialization of boys and girls hurts them both, each in particular, complementary ways. Girls, and later women, tend to internalize pain. Boys, and later men, tend to externalize pain. Depression in men, unless it is dealt with, tends to be passed along.
#4 I had been treating David and Elaine for close to six months. Elaine first wanted me to see the two of them, not for Chad’s sake but for the sake of their marriage. After twenty years, she felt miserable alone. David was good-natured and helpful, but she felt like he wasn’t there.

Sujets

• Santé et bien-être
• Santé mentale & traumatisme
• Santé mentale
• Santé mentale
• Dépression
• Depression
• Mood Disorders

Informations

• Publié par: Everest Media LLC
• Date de parution: 27 avril 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781669394075
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Insights on Terrence Real's I Dont Want to Talk About It
Contents Insights from Chapter 1 Insights from Chapter 2 Insights from Chapter 3 Insights from Chapter 4 Insights from Chapter 5 Insights from Chapter 6 Insights from Chapter 7 Insights from Chapter 8 Insights from Chapter 9 Insights from Chapter 10 Insights from Chapter 11 Insights from Chapter 12
Insights from Chapter 1

#1

The issue of men’s depression is a difficult one to deal with, as it is seen as unmanly. It is a condition that is both shame-filled and shameful, and yet it is extremely impactful.

#2

Depression is a disorder of feeling, and yet men are often reluctant to acknowledge it. Men and women often express depression differently, and their pathways toward it are distinct.

#3

The traditional socialization of boys and girls hurts them both, each in particular, complementary ways. Girls, and later women, tend to internalize pain. Boys, and later men, tend to externalize pain. Depression in men, unless it is dealt with, tends to be passed along.

#4

I had been treating David and Elaine for close to six months. Elaine first wanted me to see the two of them, not for Chad’s sake but for the sake of their marriage. After twenty years, she felt miserable alone. David was good-natured and helpful, but she felt like he wasn’t there.

#5

In family therapy, the major players in such events are often sitting together in the therapist’s office. Bringing the scene palpably into the room adds an emotional charge that the therapist can use to advantage.

#6

When dealing with a violent person, try to capture the feeling of violence with your words. Do not treat them this way, and do not hold back your feelings. You’ll just give yourself a headache.

#7

To treat a man like David, you must first get at him and crack him open. The patient needs help bringing his depression up to the surface. He may be unhappy at work, but he would not have bored anyone with the details.

#8

Depression is commonly thought of as a state of profound impairment, utter despair, and thorough debilitation. But for men like David, who are driven and productive, depression can be barely noticeable midlife malaise.

#9

Overt depression is the most common type, and it is easy to diagnose. It is characterized by symptoms of sadness, down feelings, and a decreased interest in pleasurable activities. It is not caused by an imbalance of black bile, but it is still referred to as melancholy.

#10

The stigma attached to depression is especially acute for men, who are typically expected to be strong and not vulnerable. Men who are depressed often allow their pain to burrow deeper and further from view.

#11

Men are four times more likely than women to take their own lives. They are also more likely to be alcoholics, and to downplay their weaknesses and pain.

#12

The world of men and boys can be a tough one. It turns out that depressed men are not being altogether paranoid when they fear the reaction of others to their admission of turmoil.

#13

The stigma surrounding depression often affects both the depressed man and his family. For family members, there may be an impulse to protect the male ego by colluding in the man’s obfuscation.

#14

While many men conceal their condition from the outside world, and while those close to them may miss a diagnosis of overt depression, a man like David Ingles goes even further with the deception. He not only manages to camouflage his condition from those around him, but he also hides it from himself.
Insights from Chapter 2

#1

The myth of Narcissus is an example of how people can be affected by covert depression. It tells the story of an adolescent son of a river nymph who spent his wild boyhood running and hunting alone in the forest. One day, he became snared by the image of a beautiful young woman in the pool.

#2

Covert depression is a disorder of self-esteem. It is the inability to value oneself in the face of one’s own imperfections, not because of what you have or what you can do, but because of what you don’t have.

#3

It can be difficult for successful men like Thomas to see the harmful effects of compulsive work until the relational bill comes due. His feelings of abandonment by his daughters triggered a drop into acute despair.

#4

When I asked Thomas about his childhood, he said that family life was something he wanted to avoid. His daughters had come to learn something about him, and he was surprised by the session.

#5

The pain Tricia was feeling was her father’s, not hers. She knew nothing about her father’s childhood, except that it was bad.

#6

I had asked Thomas to explore a critical image from his childhood, and he had described his mother’s bedroom as being airless and hot. He had said that she was passed out, snoring like a baby.

#7

Thomas’s long-standing covert depression turned into acute, severe overt depression when his brittle sense of self-worth shattered against the sharp edge of his daughters’ rejection. But it had always been with him, a feared presence lurking in the background.

#8

Depression is an auto-aggressive disease that attacks the self. In overt depression, the attack is borne, but in covert depression, the man attempts to ward it off. But these attempts are never fully successful. The assault on the self always threatens to break through the defenses.

#9

In psychiatry today, the self-attack Freud describes would be called shame, an acutely uncomfortable feeling of being worth-less, less than others. Many men experience depression as a state of numbness, which is known in psychiatry as alexithymia.

#10

Brad, a bodybuilder, had turned to the movies to subdue his depression. He had flown to Los Angeles to become rich and famous, but instead he became a prostitute to the rich and famous.