10 Things Great Dads Do

Rick Johnson

Description

Great dads raise great kids who tend to be happier, healthier, and more successful in life. But men sometimes struggle with how to go about being that great dad, especially if their own fathers were not positive role models. Fathering expert Rick Johnson offers men ten practical strategies to become the dads they want to be. He helps dads- help their kids find the humor in life - surround their family with healthy friends and role models- communicate clearly with their children- "brand" their families with memorable sayings and traditions- help their kids develop self-esteem and respect for others- be a gatekeeper when it comes to their kids' social circle- and set reachable goals for themselves and their childrenEvery father can be a great dad. This clear and to-the-point book gives them the tools they need to do it well.

Informations

• Publié par: Baker Publishing Group
• Date de parution: 15 septembre 2015
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781441228192
• Langue: English

Extrait

© 2015 by Rick Johnson
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www . revellbooks .com
Ebook edition created 2015
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4412-2819-2
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture quotations labeled AMP are from the Amplified® Bible, copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
The author is represented by WordServe Literary Group.
“Dads set the tone for their families. Really good dads make a significant difference in their families and their neighborhoods. Rick Johnson shows you ten things good dads do. If you want to strengthen your family and prepare your children to succeed in life, this book shows you how.”
— Pat Williams , author of It ’ s Not Who You Know , It ’ s Who You Are
“Every dad I know desires to be a great father, but they don’t always know where to begin. If that describes you, I encourage you to start with Rick’s new book, 10 Things Great Dads Do ! Rick’s books have always been the place I go to for practical wisdom and insight into how to be a better dad. Better Dads , Stronger Sons has helped me in the raising of my two boys, and Becoming the Dad Your Daughter Needs has been a great encouragement as I raise my three girls. I’m excited to have this latest book—it will impact me as a father to all of my children. Reading this book is a great step to growing a stronger family.”
— Rob Teigen , bestselling author of 88 Great Daddy - Daughter Dates
“Better than anyone I know, Rick Johnson presents relational philosophies that make sense. And then: Bam ! Before you know it he has given you real-life ways to apply what you just read. Invest a few bucks and a couple hours in 10 Things Great Dads Do and you’ll instantly know the ‘whys’ and the ‘hows’ of fantastic fathering.”
— Jay Payleitner , conference speaker and bestselling author of 52 Things Kids Need from a Dad and The Dad Book
I dedicate this book to all the grandfathers out there who have stepped up and are parenting their grandchildren. You have a much tougher road than anyone knows. But without your presence, so many more children would fall through the cracks of life.
May God bless you and give you the strength to persevere! You truly are Better Dads.
Contents
Cover 1
Title Page 2
Copyright Page 3
Endorsements 4
Dedication 5
Acknowledgments 9
Introduction: The Bottom Line 11
1. Have Fun! The Importance of Humor and Play 19
2. Go Outside Your Comfort Zone: But It’s Uncomfortable Out Here! 33
3. Surround Yourself with Healthy Friends and Couples: It Matters! 45
4. Communicate with Your Children: Someone Is Going to Influence Them 63
5. Develop Your “Brand”: When Everyone Knows Your Name 79
6. A Man’s Spirituality: Finding Yours So You Can Teach Your Children Theirs 97
7. Your Child’s Spirituality: Helping Your Children Find Their Way 119
8. Teaching Character: Allowing Your Children to Suffer 135
9. Children, Members of the Family: Not the Center of the Universe 151
10. Not in My House: Dad, the Gatekeeper of the Home 175
Wrap-Up 193
Better Dads Workbook: 10 Uncommon Traits of Exceptional Fathers 197
Notes 215
About the Author 219
Back Ads 220
Back Cover 224
Acknowledgments
As is often the case, the people who really deserve much of the credit for a book seldom get the credit they are due. I’ve tried to mention all the people at my publisher who deserve credit in past books and failed miserably. So let me just thank and acknowledge everyone who works at Revell and Baker Publishing Group. A finer group of people to work with I’ve never met. I’m honored to have worked with all of you for the past nine years or so.
I’d also like to thank a few men who spoke some real wisdom to me while writing this book. Those men include Scott, Terry, Kenny, Darrel, and Stuart. Having friends like you guys makes me happier than getting a free pass to an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet at a ZZ Top concert. Well . . . almost.
Adversity toughens manhood, and the characteristic of the good or the great man is not that he has been exempt from the evils of life, but that he has surmounted them.
—Patrick Henry
In this life-long fight, to be waged by every one of us singlehanded against a host of foes, the last requisite for a good fight, the last proof and test of our courage and manliness, must be loyalty to truth —the most rare and difficult of all human qualities. For such loyalty, as it grows in perfection, asks ever more and more of us, and sets before us a standard of manliness always rising higher and higher.
—Thomas Hughes, The Manliness of Christ (italics added)
I am the tallest oak now, exposed and vulnerable. And I’m increasingly suspicious of people. . . . All this started when I became a father, a faithful guardian of two innocent souls. And it grew worse when I lost my dad, and I realized there was no longer anyone I could run to. This is the evolution of man—from one who reaches out for comfort to one who is reached out to.
—Joe Kita, The Father’ s Guide to the Meaning of Life
In 1988 evangelical philosopher and theologian Carl Henry made a stunning prediction in his book, Twilight of a Great Civilization (Crossway Books). He said that as America progressively loses its Judeo-Christian heritage, paganism would grow bolder. What we saw in the last half of the 20th-century was a kind of benign humanism, but he predicted that by the start of the 21st-century, we would face a situation not unlike the first-century when the Christian faith confronted raw paganism—humanism with the pretty face ripped off, revealing the angry monster underneath. His words have come true, and are coming truer with every passing day.
—Dr. Ray Prichard
Introduction
The Bottom Line
All great dads have certain qualities that distinguish them from poor or even average fathers. Because they have these qualities, these dads give their kids a huge advantage in life. Their kids tend to be happier, healthier, and more successful in life than kids raised without these advantages. Not only that, the dads themselves garner more satisfaction out of their roles as fathers.
Of course, it’s easy to talk about being a great dad—a better dad than we are now. But when the rubber meets the road, it’s not always so easy to be a great dad. If we didn’t have those qualities modeled for us by a father, it makes it even more difficult. Interestingly enough though, the qualities that make a great dad are easily learned and mastered by all men.
Most men want to be a better dad, even a great dad, but just don’t know how. The problem is that many men don’t know about these qualities—we are seldom trained in them unless we are fortunate enough to observe them from a wise, healthy male role model while growing up or have a group of men who mentor and intentionally teach us the importance of these qualities as boys. However, once we understand what our families need and want from us, becoming a better dad is a lot easier. That’s what this book is about.
That doesn’t mean that any of us will ever be a perfect dad, just that we don’t quit trying to become a better dad. Certainly, I’ve never considered myself a great dad, but one area I couldn’t be faulted in was lack of trying. Even my kids have to admit I was a better dad as they got older than I was when they were young. Part of that might be attributed to maturity on my part, or experience, but certainly most of it was due to a conscious effort to learn and grow as a father. That would seem obvious to most men, and yet I’ve known countless fathers who somehow seemed to give up or quit along the way. By the time their kids were grown, those kids either despised their dads or were oblivious to his presence.
I’ve studied, interviewed, counseled, and surveyed thousands of fathers over the past thirteen years as part of the work I do with families. Prior to that, I studied men who I thought were good fathers because I wanted to understand what a good father looked like. Having been raised in an alcoholic home, I understood what I didn’t want to be like as a father, but I had no idea what kind of qualities I should have in order to be an effective father. Knowing what you don’t want to be like as a father doesn’t help much with how you should be as a father. Just doing the opposite of what you don’t want to be like doesn’t help either. I knew I didn’t want to be a dad who hit my kids, but that didn’t help me know how I should treat them instead.
This book looks at some of the unique characteristics or uncommon qualities that highly effective fathers possess. These behaviors turn average dads into great dads. Use these to go with the foundational attributes I discuss in some of my other fathering books, such as Better Dads, Stronger Sons and Becoming the Dad Your Daughter Needs . Those books are a kind of primer on what healthy fathering looks like as well as understanding your sons’ and daughters’ unique needs.
One way to determine what qualities we want to cultivate as a father is to start by taking some time alone (and then with your wife) to envision what kind of family you want to have. What kind of traits do you want to instill in your children? What values are most important to your family? What is the tone of your home going to be like? In my experience, those kinds of things do not just