Dear Mom and Dad

Georgia Lee Mcgowen

Description

Much has been written both about and by people who feel they were assigned the wrong body at conception, exploring the struggles and too often the tragedies that result from that mismatch of nature. Very little has been written, however, to chronicle the lifelong struggle of people to understand and come to terms with two distinct sets of emotions, one male and one female—a single soul, at times divided, at times united, by two clearly identifiable spirits.

 

Dear Mom and Dad: You Don’t Know Me, But … traces the life of George through the eyes of Georgia, the female half of their soul, from early childhood in the post war Texas oil fields through the innocence of his early school years in northeastern Oklahoma. With the onset of puberty, Georgia watches the omnipresent feeling of not being normal cast a destructive pall over nearly everything he attempts. After the collapse of his lifelong dream, George begins again with hopes, new dreams, and the love they’ve both always longed for. Georgia finally emerges, but understanding her part in their soul comes slowly and is complicated by a tragedy of profound proportion.

 

Dear Mom and Dad considers the ultimate understanding of God’s will for both George and Georgia and its unusual conclusion, sharing a story of struggle and self-acceptance.

Sujets

• Childhood
• Soul
• DAD
• Tragedy
• Mom

Informations

• Publié par: Toplink Publishing, LLC
• Date de parution: 20 octobre 2017
• Nombre de lectures: 2
• EAN13: 9781947938878
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 6 Mo

Extrait

Dear Mom and Dad
You Don’t Know Me, But …
A memoir of a hidden spirit
Georgia Lee McGowen


Copyright © 2017 by Georgia Lee McGowen.

Hardback: 978-1-947938-86-1
Paperback: 978-1-947938-85-4
eBook: 978-1-947938-87-8


All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.


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Printed in the United States of America


Contents
Acknowledgements
Foreword
Introduction Chapter I In the Beginning Chapter II Zion? Is This the Place? Chapter III This Is the Place … Again! Chapter IV An Incomplete Metamorphosis Chapter V When Never Comes Chapter VI A Pinball and A Maid of Zion Chapter VII Waking Up Is Hard To Do Chapter VIII Canaan and the Canaanites Chapter IX An Angel and a Shadow Chapter X Running From Canaan Chapter XI The Bow After the Arrow Is Loosed Chapter XII An End Hidden In Hope Chapter XIII Reality and Dreams Chapter XIV A Butterfly At Last
Afterword


To the two people I’ve always wanted to write a lette r to, my Mom and Dad.


“Then God said, ‘Let us make people in our own image, to be like ourselves. They will be masters over all life…’
So God created people in His own i mage;
God patterned them after Him self;
Male and female, He created them.”
Genesis 1: 2 6-27


Acknowledgements
It is of great importance for me to acknowledge the assistance and support I’ve received from so many people in the process of bringing this effort to fruition. I must of necessity begin with Rosalyn Mendez without whose unsolicited and profoundly generous assistance, Dear Mom and Dad might never have been published. The atmosphere Lisa and Adele at Cash Inn Country on McDowell in Phoenix have perpetuated and fostered, is one of the joys and places of mental rejuvenation to which I’ve retired on many an evening. It’s a place where I’ve met literally scores of friends, who’ve added so much to the tapestry of my life, including Rosalyn Mendez and her man, Pat Gaona. To supportive patrons of Cash Inn like Sally Mendoza, who’s been an unflagging encourager, I extend undying gratitude for your faith i n me.
To my long-time friend Linda Talley-Branch: I’m deeply indebted to you for your editorial contributions which have made my efforts here more understandable and readable. The assistance I received in the final proof read of this text from another dear friend and ardent supporter, Mona Scott, Residential Faculty member of Mesa Community College in Mesa, Arizona, was an absolutely invaluable contribu tion.
For my son Peter who, though admittedly with little understanding of the emotions involved, offered his assistance in the decision to pursue the publishing avenue I’ve ch osen.
To another long-time friend, encourager and supporter, Doug Benton, I extend a thank you, which seems so inadequate regardless of what emphasis I place on my appreciation. When I had all but given up ever completing what I’d begun, he came through with exactly the right words, and instilled a new commitment that carried me through to the completion of the ef fort.
If it wasn’t for Dr. Joseph Pearson’s, profound knowledge of the context of virtually every verse in the Bible, and his dedication to sharing that knowledge, I might never have come to the realization that God clearly had a purpose in creating me the way He did.
Pastors Jabowa Whitehead and Juan Morales, founders of New Foundation Christian Fellowship in Phoenix, deserve credit for the rejuvenating atmosphere to which I turn weekly and at times daily, for a spiritual and emotional up lift.
Anyone who thinks that prolonged and deep conversations are necessary keys to understanding will have difficulty in understanding the dramatic effect that simple, seemingly minor contributions to conversations between friends can have. Two cases in point: my long-time friend Marian Aylesworth is responsible for bringing Genesis 1:26-27 to my attention. Michele Hughes placed the final key to acceptance with a phone call to share the definition of “We nkte.”
To those I’ve failed to mention but who have certainly contributed to my life, I offer a heartfelt thank you for your contributions, not the least of whom is Mom. But then, this book conveys, I hope, that grati tude.
And for Dad … the tears that rise up this very moment are from sadness that in this life, you never knew me, your eldest daughter. Someday you will.


Foreword
I was excited and flattered when Georgia asked me to write a foreword for this book. It expresses thoughts and struggles of many individuals I have counseled. Most importantly, it demonstrates a true solution to the difficulties experienced by anyone who does not fit neatly into a gender box. That solution is self-accept ance.
When studying to be a psychologist, I learned about gender issues in only one of my classes. They were brief presentations which described gender “disorders” as a mental health condition. At the time, I accepted gender issues as a mental health problem. Four years later, I was introduced to the field by a therapist who had originally studied with Harry Benjamin. I learned from meeting clients that the labels “transgendered”, “transvestite” and “cross dresser” are not representative of different “disorders.” Rather, they reflect varying degrees of dual genderism. This does not mean that people with high levels of dual genderism (today labeled “Gender Identity Disorder”) cannot have mental health problems. Most people I have worked with over the years were not confused about their gender. They were confused about “why” they were this way and why few, if any, people would accept it. In fact, depression suffered by many experiencing high levels of dual genderism was due to their beliefs about needing to keep their true identities se cret.
Georgia’s book describes her personal struggle to accept what, deep down, she really always knew. It reveals the confusion and rejection felt from loved ones, even when unintentional, and how this can be worse than dealing with societal disapproval. The best part of this book is how she found inner peace through self-accept ance.
Christine P. Grubb, Ph.D.
Licensed Psycholo gist


Introduction
There are not two of me. There’s only one of me. I just happen to co-exist in a male body with an equally singular man. That’s the way God made us. Maybe one day, when God was through packaging souls and spirits with available bodies, I was a leftover spirit, so rather than wait until the next batch of souls and bodies was ready, he plunked me in with George. I don’t actually believe that, but I do wonder occasionally. The reality is that I believe this dual-spirited soul is, like the rest of His creation, intentional and purposeful. The first question is … why? The second question is … how are we supposed to live this way? The why may not be known until we’re face-to-face with God. The how is what this narrative of the journey to our ultimate solution is all a bout.
I hope in the following pages to raise awareness of the fact that thousands of people . .. men and women alike . .. live with the confusion of two, coexisting spirits within the same soul, and the difficulty they have in reconciling those two spirits and personalities. It’s a lifelong issue most often never reconciled. Being dual-gendered isn’t the same thing as being trans-gendered and it’s not the same as schizophr enic.
The root word trans is defined by the Encarta Dictionary as: across, on the other side of, beyond; indicating change, trans fer, or conversion. If I was trans gendered or trans sexual, there would be no spirit you will come to know as George. It would be a matter of me feeling as though I was simply a person trapped in the wrong body. If we were the result of schizophrenia, there would be no control over who existed at any given moment and we would be given drugs to allow just one of us to be in control and to express their being. Quite possibly, more than two of us would exist. People like me always have control over the expression; the emotions, however, are a different issue. They just are and are nearly always present in some form. What people like me deal with is a life-long struggle for understanding and acceptance that goes on between the spirits of two personalities. And that’s the VERY abbreviated an swer.
The bottom line is this; our soul, which for many years was believed to be just the tortured spirit of George, was tortured from the beginning, from early childhood, by the opposing attractions of masculine and feminine. The male body was always the deciding factor in what I should yield to, in spite of the fact that half the time what George was drawn to was me; the feminine. Therefore, a feeling of worthiness was difficult to experience because everything social and moral said there was something wrong with a man who had as many feminine inclinations as he did masculine. Those feelings eventually corrupted nearly everything he