CHOOSING HAPPINESS

Cliff Dean

Description

Are you happy with your life? Grab these epiphanies and insights into happiness discovered during the seventy years of one man’s uniquely adventurous life.
This book is a celebration of life. It is the colorful story of one man’s personal search for happiness. It is a collection of stories about unusual, even unique circumstances and events in life from which essential lessons can be learned about how to be happy, regardless of circumstances.

Sujets

• Santé et bien-être
• Bien-être émotionnel
• Bien-être émotionnel
• Motivational
• Philosophie et théologie
• Adventure (Guyana)
• Philosophy
• Adventure
• Autobiography
• Happiness

Informations

• Publié par: AuthorHouse
• Date de parution: 19 juillet 2023
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9798823011778
• Langue: English

Extrait

CHOOSING HAPPINESS
Learning to Find Joy in Life
CLIFF DEAN


AuthorHouse™
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.authorhouse.com
Phone: [phone]
 
 
 
 
 
 
© 2023 Cliff Dean. All rights reserved.
 
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
 
Published by AuthorHouse 07/19/2023
 
ISBN: 979-8-8230-1178-5 (sc)
ISBN: 979-8-8230-1177-8 (e)
 
Library of Congress Control Number: 2023912975
 
 
 
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
 
 
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
CONTENTS
… AND SO IT BEGINS
Branded
Firstish Memories
Proudest Moment
Home
Moving
Labels
SCHOOL LESSONS
Elementary School
Junior High School
High School
College
The Edge of Oblivion
Appalachian Leaves
Concrete Boots
Laughter in the Night
Dropping Out
BECOMING A MAN
Preparations
Walking Into Wild
Half-Ton Snorter
Face-To-Fang
Walking Out from the Unknown to the Unknowable
MOUNTAIN MAN DAYS
Journey to the River of No Return
The Shriek
On the Hunt with Buckskin Bill
New Year’s Surprise
Desert Survival
It’s Good to Be Alive!
Experiencing Existentialism
ROMANCE
First Love
The River Doesn’t Care
A Unique Wedding
WHAT TO DO
Bosom Buddies
Walking the Tightrope
Bad Boss
Air Force One
9/11
Voyager
SERENDIPITOUS ENTANGLEMENT
Losing Myself
Cross-Country Courtship
LIFE’S LESSONS
Seasons
Henry & Ben
Principled Underpinnings
Being Parented
Hunting Squirrels
Lost & Found
Retirement
Reinventing Myself
Positive Aging
Music
Hobbies
Listening
The Illusion of Everything
Pandemic’s Gift
Crack in the Armor
Post-Pandemic
My Summer Vacation
Thanks
Making A Difference
Regrets
Resolutions
Words of Wisdom
FINAL THOUGHTS
Ashes
Eulogy
SUMMARY OF LESSONS LEARNED
PHOTOGRAPHS
Are You My Father?
Laughter in the Mountains
The Reflecting Pool
Appalachian Trail Sign in North Carolina
Building a Suspension Bridge with Buckskin Bill
Buckskin Bill: Legendary Mountain Man
Mountain Man Days
Crazy in Love
Singing the Lead Role (as a Rabbi) in a Musical
Bosom Buddy
Voyager (first around-the-world nonstop flight)
Losing 253 Pounds in One Year
Finding Love Again
Good Attitude is Critical
Loving Parents
Wet Anhinga with Attitude
Enjoying Retirement
Reinventing Myself
Singing for Fun
Creating Lemur Playmates Out of Clay
Training to Go Beyond Illusion
Discovering What’s Behind the Mask
Gratitude
Enjoying New Adventures

 
ALSO BY THE AUTHOR
Are You My Father ?: Answering Life’s Unexpected Questions
 

(2019; Balboa Press; ISBN 978-1-9822-2592-6)
Laughter in the Mountains : Enjoying the Last of the Mountain Men
 

(2012; AuthorHouse; ISBN 978-1-4685-0146-9)
the reflecting pool : reflections of a mountain man (a book of poetry)
 

(2009; AuthorHouse; ISBN 978-1-4389-4974-1)
INTRODUCTION
Like you, I’ve spent a lifetime looking for happiness.
And like most people, I’ve often confused pleasure for happiness. But over a lifetime of experience I’ve discovered that pleasure and happiness are really two different things.
Pleasure is driven by our physical senses. Our bodies are genetically programmed to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Pleasure is rooted in our physical environment and is short-term. Experiencing pleasure without an accompanying underlying sense of happiness is proverbial.
Happiness is an internal state of being. It is a filter through which we experience life. Happiness (and its alternative states of being) is the mental, emotional and spiritual context in which the events of our lives are experienced and interpreted. It is based on our innermost beliefs – regardless of what our conscious thoughts may be. It is the group of underlying stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and the world – and believe.
When I was in college, I got accepted into an elite extracurricular program for developing leadership skills in promising young students. In one of the first interviews for that program I was asked point-blank what my goals in life were. I responded simply: “To be happy.” The mentor chuckled, commenting that of course everyone wanted to be “happy.” But he insisted that I would need to have very specific defined, tangible, and quantifiable goals – which I subsequently would need to actually accomplish – in order to be “happy.”
This was a very successful, knowledgeable, respected world-wise mentor who was advising me. In my innocence I presumed that he knew what he was talking about. So I took his advice to heart and intensified my search for happiness in the suggested traditional ways extolled by the “successful” members of our culture. I sought happiness by having the “right” family, friends, relationships, career, home, health, wealth, travel, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, ad infinitum .
I’ve diligently explored the nooks and crannies of happiness’s hiding places for over seventy years now – examining the usual spots where everyone thinks happiness is to be found, as well as some creative and unexpected treasure caches.
This is the story of my personal search for happiness and what I have learned.
~ Cliff Dean ~
DEDICATION
for Logan
and a lifetime of choices yet to come
for W. H.
for being my personal living example of how to be
a good man, and then an ever better man
for JoAnn
for showing me a kinder, gentler way of experiencing life without having to force everything/everyone to be
as I think it/they ought to be
for Melba
for always loving to listen to my stories
and always wanting to hear more
for
the members of Carolina Arbors Memoir Writing Club
Larry, Susan, Tien, Irina, Lisa, Mary and Tom
for inspiring me and encouraging me to write this book
for
everyone and everything
that has ever showed up in my life,
allowing me to grow in my choices of how to experience life
and for
Happiness Hunters
everywhere
… AND SO IT BEGINS
BRANDED
M Y PENETRATING, ANGUISHED SCREAMS OF pain brought my panicked mother and grandmother running. Only a few days old, I was a totally helpless baby. My mother had put me down for a nap in a bedroom at my grandmother’s house while the two women prepared a meal in the kitchen. When they arrived breathless at my bedside, my three-year-old brother was standing beside me – guilt and confusion engulfing him.
“What happened?!”
My brother just shrugged, refusing to look my mother in the eyes.
Mom reached down, picked me up, and soothingly cuddled me back to calm. It wasn’t easy. I continued to wail for a long time.
When everything had finally settled down and Mom laid me back down on the bed, she gasped. My tiny arm bore the brutal imprint of a full set of fresh teeth marks.
Shocked, Mom turned to my brother.
“What did you do to the baby?”
“He wasn’t moving. I wanted to see if he was okay.”
Fortunately, I have no memory of this event at all. Nor do I have any memories of my dramatic home birth. I was a very big baby (almost twelve pounds) whose birth caused near mortal trauma to my mother. The country doctor that was supposed to deliver me didn’t show up until after the birth – drunk! I’m told that this was the one time that my father, a preacher and peaceful “man of God,” came perilously close to the temptation of physically assaulting another person.
But I never heard these stories until I was a teenager and my brother had already firmly established himself as my mentor, my protector, and my idol. Almost three years older than me, he paved my way through life. As I grew, everything that I wanted to do and learn he had already done and learned. And he was always patient and willing to teach me what he knew.
My first day of school was utterly humiliating. I was the new kid in a new town in a completely new situation. All the other kids knew each other and seemed to know what to expect. I had never felt so out of place, so alone, so stupid. That set the pattern for my early experiences in school and with other kids my age. I was behind in everything. I was ignorant about everything that everyone else seemed to know all about.
My brother, Jerry, was the one person I confided in. He had already been through all of this himself and truly understood. He was the one who patiently taught me – day after day, week after week, month after month – exactly what I needed to know to catch up with the others, then surpass them. By the end of the year, I had indeed caught up with my classmates and had even become a star pupil.
From that early searingly painful and humiliating moment of initial estrangement from kids my own age, I spent my time with my brother and his peers. Because I was younger than everybody else, their expectations of me were low – so I never felt humiliated when I couldn’t meet the standards of