Forgiven and Set Free

Linda Cochrane

Description

Disheartening numbers of women have undergone an abortion--and they need help to heal emotionally and spiritually. This study was developed out of Linda Cochrane's own experience of being freed from the bondage of guilt and grief that followed her abortion. Forgiven and Set Free guides suffering and hurting women to bring their emotional scars from abortion "out of the dark past and into his holy light," where true and lasting healing can take place. Appropriate Scriptures help women deal with issues such as relief, denial, anger, forgiveness, depression, letting go, and acceptance.

Sujets

• Bibles
• Philosophie et théologie
• Ethics in religion
• Christianity
• Bible

Informations

• Publié par: Baker Publishing Group
• Date de parution: 12 mai 2015
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781441227072
• Langue: English

Extrait

© 1986, 1991, 1996, 2015 by CareNet
Published by Baker Books
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.bakerbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2015
Ebook corrections 07.31.2017
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4412-2707-2
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture quotations labeled TLB are taken from The Living Bible , copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
What a wonderful God we have—he is the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the source of every mercy, and the one who so wonderfully comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials. And why does he do this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort God has given us.
2 Corinthians 1:3–4 TLB
Contents
Cover 1
Title Page 3
Copyright Page 4
Epigraph 5
Preface 9
How to Use This Book 11
Acknowledgments 13
1. How Do I Know Where I Need Healing? 15
2. The Character of God 25
3. Relief and Denial 43
4. Anger 57
5. The Need to Forgive 71
6. Depression 83
7. Forgiven and Set Free 99
8. Acceptance 113
Conclusion 123
About the Author 125
Other Books by Linda Cochrane 126
Back Ads 127
Back Cover 128
Preface
T his Bible study was formed out of a personal desire to see women freed from the bondage of guilt and grief that follows an abortion. Not all women are affected in the same manner. I realize there are women who seemingly have no regrets about choosing abortion and who have no apparent signs of physical or psychological side effects. This Bible study was prepared for the women who have experienced some degree of remorse or regret. Over the years I have seen women healed from guilt, shame, grief, and unforgiveness. It has been an honor to watch God slowly and gently heal those who have been suffering for many years. We hope you will join this group of courageous women who have chosen to face the hurts of their past.
A woman who hurts after an abortion is not always understood. The intensity of her emotional reaction is a shock to her as well as to those from whom she seeks counsel. They ask, “How does something that is a woman’s right hurt so much?” More often than not, her emotional response is due to her grieving the loss of her child, and this grief is an appropriate response.
The circumstances that lead a woman to choose abortion are not indicative of the intensity of her emotional reactions. Women who choose abortion for what they consider all the right reasons at the time are not exempt from mourning the loss of their child. Women who have had abortions for medical reasons (it was their life or the child’s) grieve just as intensely as women who choose abortion with little forethought or counsel. The scars of abortion are often so deep that women have difficulty sharing their pain with others. Pre-abortion counseling does not adequately inform them about the possibility of intense emotional reactions, so women isolate themselves from others, thinking there is something wrong with them for not coping well with grief.
Abortion was taken out of the back alley medically when it was made legal in 1973. Spiritually speaking, abortion is still in the back alley. It is a decision that is surrounded by secrecy and shame. Many women suffer a spiritual crisis following abortion.
This Bible study is a tool for women who want to repair their relationships with God. It is for women who will never choose abortion again, for those who want to turn from their own ways and learn God’s way of love and forgiveness. This Bible study was not written from a distance, guessing at what God wants to say to the woman who has had an abortion; rather, it is what God said to comfort and restore me as I brought my own personal experiences with abortion out of the dark past and into his holy light. As I sat for many hours with my paper, my pen, and my pain, I called out to God and he answered me. He delivered me from all my fears. As I read my Bible, he was faithful to touch my open wounds with the healing balm of his promises. He promised to turn my wailing into dancing and he has. He promised that if my weeping endured for the night, joy would come in the morning, and it has.
It is my prayer that this book will guide you to this same place, where you will find the peace of God’s forgiveness and the freedom of forgiving others. I pray that you do not run from the chance to experience God’s care but grasp his promises with both hands.
God bless you on your journey of hope and healing in Jesus’s name.
How to Use This Book
T his book is intended for personal study by women. Or it may be used by groups for a guided group study. There is a companion study for men, Healing a Father ’ s Heart . Couples have found it meaningful to go through the study together, using their respective guides.
As you work through this guide, you will find space provided for writing answers to the questions. It would be a good idea to keep a notebook handy as well. There will be many questions for which the Lord will prompt you to write more than space in the book allows. You may also want to jot down thoughts, insights, and prayers that come to you as you go through the study.
If the study guide is used by a group, the chapters should be completed by the members of the group before the group sessions. Then the section at the end of each chapter can be used to guide the group discussion. The group study is most beneficial if the group meets once a week.
The group session is structured as follows: opening round, opening prayer, Scripture memory verse, discussion questions, closing round, and closing prayer. The opening round is one question that will help get the discussion going. It is not intended to provoke long, detailed answers but simple, one-sentence responses. Everyone should participate in this part of the discussion. It may be the only time quieter members of the group talk during the early weeks of the group sessions.
Group leaders should not force anyone to share personal experiences, but they should encourage anyone to talk who seems ready. Everyone should be free to say, “I don’t feel comfortable talking about that now.”
Before the group session, each woman in the group should read through the discussion questions, thinking through and praying about her answers. Developing quiet times with the Lord is part of the healing process. The weekly group settings are most effective if group members do their homework and bring insights back to the group.
Acknowledgments
T his book is gratefully dedicated to Samuel, Rufus Alexander, Christopher, Zachary David, Benjamin, Rachel, Joel, Sabrina, Kathleen, Anthony, Anna, Sami, Carin, Sealily, Rebecca, Daniel, Tuesday, Joseph Michael, Lindsay Marie, Joanne, Sarah, John, T. J., and their mothers whose heartache was the stimulus for writing this Bible study.
A special thanks to all those who have been the compassionate voice of mercy and have provided a safe place for others to heal.
1 How Do I Know Where I Need Healing?
Screams of anguish come from Ramah,
Weeping unrestrained;
Rachel weeping for her children, uncomforted—
For they are dead.
Matthew 2:18 TLB
G rieving is a normal and healthy response to a major loss through death. It is a painful process but one that helps relieve our sorrow and grief. After an abortion, women may attempt to bury their grief, turn their emotions off, and run from God. Eventually they face the fact that abortion ended their unborn baby’s life.
The grieving that follows an abortion is similar to the grief of a woman who has had a miscarriage. Both experience stages of denial, anger, depression, and acceptance. Both experience guilt, but the source of their guilt is not the same. Women who have had a miscarriage feel guilty because they don’t know what role they played in their child’s death. Women who choose abortion feel guilty because they do know what part they played in their child’s death.
Relief is the first stage of grieving after an abortion. In this stage a woman may think, Thank God , I am not pregnant anymore . All the uncertainty of the previous weeks is now over and I feel relieved . After a short time, the initial feelings of relief wear off, and when her mind goes back to the actual experience, denial begins. It is difficult to cope with the memories of the abortion experience. The woman tries to deny that the abortion killed her child. She may think, No , I wouldn’t murder a baby . I just terminated a pregnancy , or It wasn’t really a baby at that stage, it was just a blob of tissue.
Moving out of denial usually happens over a period of years and is a different process for each individual. For some women denial ends when they see pictures of fetal development and realize how human their unborn baby was at the time of the abortion. Other women confront their loss when they carry a wanted pregnancy. What was viewed as a blob of tissue is now viewed as a baby. Many women come to see the truth of their actions when they stop running from God and begin to seek him with all their heart.
Once out of denial, many women become angry. They may think, The clinic should have told me the truth about fetal development ; they should have told me about adoption , My parents should not have been so